I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

11

Oct

I am – Kate Moss and Some Simon and Garfunkle Motherfucker of the Day

kate_moss_slut_top.jpg

Last night I got to talking with a couple of guys from the park about how young girls are shitty in bed. They were telling me that they would never fuck anyone under 22 because 95% of people under 22 don’t know how to fuck and it’s too risky invest time into a chick trying to land the 5% of quality that’s out there. I told them that I would only fuck girls under 22 if I could because they have tighter bodies than girls who are older than 22 and all the girls I ever fucked were shitty in bed anyways because I used the date rape drug.

The dudes then went into how they used to bang models and that models are shit in bed no matter what age because models are too concerned with being pretty and well positioned to get on all fours and take it like a man…I mean…woman…. I didn’t agree, because the models I see are usually not all the hot or put together, they just clean up nicely for pictures but really like going out and getting fucked up, and drunk party sluts who are high always means a decent fuck that ends with her puking all over your chest because the first video I ever saw on a computer was two Asians in a bathtub puking on each other and since then it’s been a fetish or a curse…

Speaking of puking models, here’s Kate Moss with some chinless Simon and Garfunkle motherfucker who looks like he’s eating his face because I love Kate Moss and because we decided she’d be a good fuck while talkin’. What were you doing with your night? Don’t answer that because I don’t really care, I was just proving that I have way more stimulating and exciting nights than you because people actually talk to me. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Kate Moss Topless Bikini Pics
Kate Moss Leather Pants
Kate Moss See Through Dress
Kate Moss In a Leotard-Type Thing

Posted in:Hot|Kate Moss|Legs|Model|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

picture-39.jpg

I was in a coffee shop today and this dude who was working the cash was talking about his acting career. About how he was in some movie with Ashley Tisdale and how he’s going to be in another movie in January. He was going on about how he was at an audition that morning and then went into talking about how good looking he is to his boss. About 30 minutes later, a hot school girl walked in, I am talking tall and thin and looked like a model but was probably 15 because she was riding with her mom in their Range Rover, but as soon as dude got sight of her he started talking about his acting again and how he’s going to an audition tomorrow with his dog and how amazing it is going to be, trying to impress.

I just kept thinking to myself that maybe his story impresses 15 year olds who have never met a real live actor before but business mustn’t be too damn hot if asshole’s making coffees for people like me. Maybe he should try to act his way into a better job so that people like me don’t look down on him for being a cunt, because let’s be real here, I’m in no position to really look down on anyone….I don’t even have a job….

Here are my links:


Charlize Theron is the Sexiest Woman Alive…Look At Her Spread…
GO

Hot Chicks Washing Cars Homevideo Compilation – Amazing
GO

Bobby Brown – Just Had a Heart Attack…Guess Which Boobs Made It Happen…
GO

2 Chicks in Bikinis Talkin’ About Booze Then Lickin’ Booze Off Each Other Video…s
GO

Like Curves On Your Girl? You’ll Love Lashea’s Hot Nude Photoshoot
GO

Lacey Chabret Rockin’ Some Serious Cleavage
GO

Some Chick Named Venessa Oilin Up Her Half Naked Friend and Working the Pole for Tila Tequila’s TV Show….
GO

AXE and CollegeHumor are Running a Contest That Could Land you on Kimmel…A Dream You’ve always had since fat Jews turn you on….But Yeah it’s a user generated AXE commercial contest. I think I should join, or one of you should produce one I write so that we can tell Kimmel to suck our dicks to his face….It’s not like he’s not used to sucking dick, he is married to Sarah Silverman after all…
GO

Some Naked Cliff Jumping For You To Jerk Off To
GO

Reese Witherspoon is Officially Divorced and Posing Like a Boring Slut in Elle…If She Wants a New Husband She is Gonna Have to Step it Up…
GO

Vanessa Minnillo See Through Dress – Titty Picture
GO

The Hills is a Totally Fake Show…Today Spencer Dropped Heidi Off and the Airport, Only For Her to Change and Shoot Him Pickin’ Her Up at the Airport…What a Fucking Scandal…
GO

Musicians Don’t Live Long Commercial With Lots of Sluts in Bikinis
GO

Some Crazy Dude Chugs Hot Candle Wax Video
GO

Charlie Sheen Likes Fucking Real Dolls…
GO

Shana Sands is a Pumpkin Pickin’ Whore and I Like It
GO

Vanessa Hudgens Does Some Ads for Marc Ecko….Even Though She’s Famous For Not Wearing Clothes
GO

Some Alicia Keys Performing Because One Of You Emailed Me Telling Me You Want to Marry Her Because She’s the Hottest Girl Ever…I Think You’re Insane
GO

Bobby Brown Had a Mild Heart Attack…Because Crack Kills…Otherwise We’d All be Smokin’ It
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Britney Spears Shows Off Some Titty
GO

Jessica Alba Hides Her Face
GO

Some Kid Drinks 1 Litre of Vodka and 2 Litres of Water Mix…..Cuz He’s More Man Than You
GO

Lohan’s New Boyfriend is some Dude She Met in Rehab Named Riley Giles and He’s Some Kind of Snowboarder Which Is Good Because it Means Her Standards Are Slowly Making Their Way To My Level….
GO

Elizabeth Hurley in a Bikini Gallery
GO

Topless Danielle Lloyd in a Thong and It’s Nice
GO

Lily Donaldson is a Model I May Be in Love With
GO

Lohan Fires Her Mom Because She’s a Bad Influence and a Whore
GO

Some Eva Mendes on TRL Yesterday….Because You Like Her
GO

Some Sarah Jessica Parker Dressed Like a Clown
GO

Some Sharapova Playing Tennis at the Kremlin Cup Where She Lost But Is Still Worth a Round…
GO

Britney Spears is Going to be a Bartender….
GO

Amateurs Having Sex On Vacation Pictures
GO

Some Nude Pictures of Some Chick Named Szatmari Bea from FHM in Another Country…Because The USA Hates Nipples You Fags
GO

The Olsen Twins Rock Out with Amy Winehouse
GO

How To Fake an Orgasm in Porn
GO

Pam Anderson is Knocked Up With Rick Salomon’s Baby…That’s the Story Anyway
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Chick Named Danielle Winits Lets Dudes Look Down Her Shirt
GO

Weird German Midget Laughing at a Camel Video
GO

Alley Baggett Posing On the Beach Cuz She’s Hot
GO

Some Hot Chick Walks Down the Street and Every Guy Stares At Her….Video
GO

Johnny Fairplay is Suing Fox and Danny Bonaduce Because He’s a Real Man
GO

Lou Pearlman Says He’s No Pedophile
GO

Some Forum Conversation About Jerking On Girls While They Sleep…
GO

Hilary Duff Acting a Fool on Set With a Lap Top…Not Reading DrunkenStepfather…Whore
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart on Nip/Tuck
GO

Some Dude’s Stripper Ex Girlfriends Poses Slutty Pics….
GO

Here’s the Full Footage of the Humanities Teacher Who Got Fired For Showing Her Students Her New Cheer Routine
GO

Some Self Shot Have Naked Pics on Photobucket
GO

Some Pictures of White Booty and Half Naked Sluts on Photobucket
GO

Some Vagina on Photobucket Because They Are a Fucking Porn Site….They Just Pretend They Aren’t….
GO

Photobucket Teen Shows Off Her Clit Ring
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Who Had the Best Cleavage in Movie History
GO

Some Post Op Tranny Shoving Things in Her Man-Gina
GO

Kurt Cobain’s About a Son Soundtrack Download
GO

Jet – Shine On – Download
GO

2 Chicks Getting it on By The Pool Video
GO

Meet the Techno Viking, Because You are Never too Weird To Get Fucked Up And Dance
GO

Some Tit Grabbing at the Male Strip Club
GO

Tasty Pass Opens the Door To a Whole Lot of Porn
GO

This Will Help You Seduce Chicks…Not that Seducing Chicks is Hard…Just Tell Them You’re a Plastic Surgeon
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – Joanna Krupa 2008 Topless Calendar Pictures of the Day

joana_krupa_topless_top.jpg

Joanna Krupa is a model who has been on the cover of a ton of magazines and has been in Playboy because she is hot and looks good naked. I have no idea what else she’s done as far as work goes but I do know that these topless calendar pics are a good fuckin’ move because she is hot and looks good naked. She was born in Poland so I can only assume she got her career started at a young age as a contortionist who would balance on a Ball with a bear during the communist years when Poland was known for their circus performers, or maybe she was a Gypsy, like the cunt who lives in the next building over from me. The other day I was walking down the street and she stopped her car next to me and started screaming at me about shit I didn’t understand and could only assume was some kind of relapse into WWII concentration camps. Unfortunately she ended up trying to run me over but missed, because I could have used the insurance settlement and I don’t really need my legs anyway because I like to sit….on Joanna Krupa’s face…because she’s hot and looks good naked.


Related Posts:

Joanna Krupa at an Event in a Nightgown
Joanna Krupa in Lingerie at an Event
Joanna Krupa’s Tit’s Out in Miami
Joanna Krupa at the SI Swimsuit Party

Posted in:Ass|Calendar|Hot|Joanna Krupa|Model|Topless|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Tits of the Day

kim_kardashian_tits6.jpg

So it turns out that Kim Kardashian’s got some reality TV show with her sister called “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” and I am sure it’s going to be some next level shit that will change all our fucking lives. I am not really sure what Kim Kardashian does but I can only assume keeping up with her is pretty fucking easy. Other than the fact that we don’t have high powered lawyers as a father, who died and left us a huge inheritance to travel the world and attend events, or the fact that we don’t fuck black men on video for the world to see, or the fact that our asses, despite being 300 lbs aren’t as big as hers, I think the only real challenges this bitch faces is putting on a pair of jeans in the morning.

Reality is that I like to think I am going to the top, and will have my own show called Keeping up with Jesus Martinez, that would involve me sitting on a computer all day and drinking myself into the gutter all night, but not at those trendy clubs, I am talking a bottle of whiskey and a park. I am not going to the top because I am talent or because I have any readers or any prospects but I like to think I am because I have a slutty reader who wants to fuck me and that shit makes me feel like a star. She’s got daddy issues and I am all about daddy issues. She probably has a boyfriend or husband and she is probably 200 pounds and likes videogames and jogging pants, but I don’t care. I like the attention. I am the flavor of the month for her and she’ll be done with this site in the next couple of weeks, but right now I guess she gets off to what I write. It’s too bad that the real me is a lot less interesting and attractive as I make myself out to be. If I ever made my way to California where she lives, which is always possible cuz I hate my wife, and set up a little meeting with her to get her to let me watch her shower, she’d only look at me in disgust and call the police. See you and me really do have a lot in common. Only difference is that bitches aren’t leaving you these kinds of messages.


Listen to the Message She Left Me Today .

Either way, here are pics of Kim Kardashian’s tits at the premiere of her shitty show….


Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian’s Mom Jeans
Some Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Preview Pics
Kim Kadashian’s Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass

Posted in:Big Boobs|cleavage|Keeping Up With The Kardashians|Kim Kardashian|Premiere|Tits|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian's Tits of the Day

kim_kardashian_tits6.jpg

So it turns out that Kim Kardashian’s got some reality TV show with her sister called “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” and I am sure it’s going to be some next level shit that will change all our fucking lives. I am not really sure what Kim Kardashian does but I can only assume keeping up with her is pretty fucking easy. Other than the fact that we don’t have high powered lawyers as a father, who died and left us a huge inheritance to travel the world and attend events, or the fact that we don’t fuck black men on video for the world to see, or the fact that our asses, despite being 300 lbs aren’t as big as hers, I think the only real challenges this bitch faces is putting on a pair of jeans in the morning.

Reality is that I like to think I am going to the top, and will have my own show called Keeping up with Jesus Martinez, that would involve me sitting on a computer all day and drinking myself into the gutter all night, but not at those trendy clubs, I am talking a bottle of whiskey and a park. I am not going to the top because I am talent or because I have any readers or any prospects but I like to think I am because I have a slutty reader who wants to fuck me and that shit makes me feel like a star. She’s got daddy issues and I am all about daddy issues. She probably has a boyfriend or husband and she is probably 200 pounds and likes videogames and jogging pants, but I don’t care. I like the attention. I am the flavor of the month for her and she’ll be done with this site in the next couple of weeks, but right now I guess she gets off to what I write. It’s too bad that the real me is a lot less interesting and attractive as I make myself out to be. If I ever made my way to California where she lives, which is always possible cuz I hate my wife, and set up a little meeting with her to get her to let me watch her shower, she’d only look at me in disgust and call the police. See you and me really do have a lot in common. Only difference is that bitches aren’t leaving you these kinds of messages.


Listen to the Message She Left Me Today .

Either way, here are pics of Kim Kardashian’s tits at the premiere of her shitty show….


Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian’s Mom Jeans
Some Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Preview Pics
Kim Kadashian’s Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass

Posted in:Big Boobs|cleavage|Keeping Up With The Kardashians|Kim Kardashian|Premiere|Tits|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – Giada De Laurentiis Paddle Surfs of the Day

giada_de_laurentiis_surf_top.jpg

Here’s some big breasted Food Network host named Giada De Laurentiis paddle surfing with her big breasts and a pair of shaping panties that most middle aged women like to squeeze themselves into to make their legs and asses look less sloppy than aging has made them. I am really against this paddle surfing shit, but I am willing to let it slide this time because Giada is an immigrant and immigrants never really know what’s up, they are just trying to fit in.There’s really nothing wrong with trying to fit in other than the fact that the people you are trying to impress are usually useless and only really care about themselves and won’t give you the time of day when you’re no longer the Big Breasted Food Network girl, but compromising yourself for those fleeting minutes of acceptance is okay, especially when it involves you showing off your vagina burger like it’s some kind of new recipe everyone’s gotta try.


Related Posts:

Brooke Burns Paddle Surfs Like a Fag
Jennifer Aniston Paddle Surfs Like a Fag
Kate Hudson Paddle Surfs Like a Fag
Jennifer Garner Paddle Surfs Like a Fag

Posted in:Big Tits|Bikini Bottoms|Giada De Laurentiis|Paddle Surfing|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – Rihanna All Dolled Up of the Day

rihanna_dolled_up3.jpg

Here are some pictures of Rihanna at some Unicef shit because she cares about the people and I decided to post them because I care about her. She’s my new Lohan, because let’s face it, Lohan has herpes and way too many issues for me to bother stalking her. So Rihanna may be the future, but I haven’t decided. I am just excited to see her bad skin because pimples remind me of High School and High School reminds me of Musicals and Musicals remind me of this gay dude I used to know who liked to dance and sing show tunes and that always gave me a good laugh. I don’t know where he is now, but he’s probably pregnant in some hospital and by pregnant I mean dying of AIDS…not cuz AIDS is the gay disease but because he was a man-slut….oh wait…maybe it is cuz AIDS is the Gay Disease. CUDDLES!!


Related Posts:

Rihanna’s Vagina Definition Pictures
Rihanna’s Leopard Print One-Piece Bathing Suit
Rihanna’s Animal Print Bikini Top
Rihanna’s Legs Performing Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Event|Hot|Rihanna|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – Cindy Crawford is Still a Super Model of the Day

cindy_crawford_ex_model_top.jpg

Here are some pictures of Cindy Crawford talking on a cellphone at some toy store she brought her kids to, because when you are rich and you have kids, showering them with things they don’t need is what you’ve gotta do. I am guessing they are probably her life because she’s really got nothing else going for her, I haven’t seen her cast on Dancing with the Stars or any Celebrity Big Brother shit, so I can safely assume that her kids are her purpose. The reason I am posting these pictures is because I thought it was funny that she pulled her phone away to strike a pose for the paparazzi like she’s still a fuckin’ supermodel, I guess it’s hard to grasp that your getting older and trying to prove that you’ve still got what it takes makes you feel better about things. I once knew am old dude, I’m talking in his 70s who used to be into boxing when he was a kid and was some kind of champion, every time dude got drunk he’d lapse into that boxing tough guy mentality and pick fights with young college kids to prove he still had it and every single time he’d end up getting his fucking ass kicked….but just kept on doing it. I guess you gotta respect that kind of spirit, it’s a lot more inspiring than you being too scared to get a job because your mom’s going to ask you to move out of her house because you like that she always cooks you dinner, there’s always food in the fridge, your laundry always gets done and bed always gets made. If only chicks found that as appealing as your man-pussy ass. Yeah I know the whole living with your mom virgin thing is getting repetitive, but I am telling you it never gets old for me….


Related Posts:

Cindy Crawford’s Got Hot Mom Tits
Cindy Crawford on the Beach
Cindy Crawford’s Bondage Hat
Cindy Crawford Pickin’ her Nose

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Ex-Model|Milf|Posing|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – Helena Christensen’s Got Legs of the Day

helena_christensen_legs_top.jpg

Sure Helena Christensen’s a washed up hag now, but bitch still has fucking amazing legs and amazing legs always get my attention and as long as I stare at them, I can pretend that she doesn’t have the face of last month’s leftovers that are still in my fridge because my wife doesn’t like vegetables.

The beautiful thing about watching a girl age is that you know she is still a whore. Sure when she was a little girl she was sweet and cute and fun to be around because she always did such crafty things and when she turned 12 she was cool to be around because she was innocent and played with her dolls and had crushes on boys she saw on TV, but then she hit puberty and realized she had a vagina and could use her vagina to get anything she wanted because dude’s are fucking easy to manipulate, all you gotta do is show your tits. After realizing that she had this vagina that guys wanted a piece of she discovered that she liked money, and from that day on she was whore. Using her pussy to satisfy her self-interest. Now girls don’t like being told that they are all whores, but I’ve never met a girl who left a dude with money for someone with less statue because it’s all about upgrading for personal gain. That’s why ugly rich dudes always have hot pieces of ass by their side. Their lives are their business and when trying to get the fuck ahead the easiest way to do it is to fuck their way there.

So here is Helena Christensen, a champion whore who made her own money using her vagina, but bitch still has legs I’d like to crawl up just to see where they end and I am hoping her Vagina didn’t age as badly as her grill, because nothing ruins a great set of legs like a vagina that dangles like the shit stuck to my wife’s ass hair, because let’s face it, it’s a hard to reach area.


Related Posts:

Cameron Diaz’s Hot Legs Pictures
Paris Hilton’s Prison Legs
Kimberly Stewart’s Got Some Hot Legs
Jessica Simpson’s Got Some Solid Legs

Posted in:Ex-Model|Helena Christensen|Legs|old|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – Helena Christensen's Got Legs of the Day

helena_christensen_legs_top.jpg

Sure Helena Christensen’s a washed up hag now, but bitch still has fucking amazing legs and amazing legs always get my attention and as long as I stare at them, I can pretend that she doesn’t have the face of last month’s leftovers that are still in my fridge because my wife doesn’t like vegetables.

The beautiful thing about watching a girl age is that you know she is still a whore. Sure when she was a little girl she was sweet and cute and fun to be around because she always did such crafty things and when she turned 12 she was cool to be around because she was innocent and played with her dolls and had crushes on boys she saw on TV, but then she hit puberty and realized she had a vagina and could use her vagina to get anything she wanted because dude’s are fucking easy to manipulate, all you gotta do is show your tits. After realizing that she had this vagina that guys wanted a piece of she discovered that she liked money, and from that day on she was whore. Using her pussy to satisfy her self-interest. Now girls don’t like being told that they are all whores, but I’ve never met a girl who left a dude with money for someone with less statue because it’s all about upgrading for personal gain. That’s why ugly rich dudes always have hot pieces of ass by their side. Their lives are their business and when trying to get the fuck ahead the easiest way to do it is to fuck their way there.

So here is Helena Christensen, a champion whore who made her own money using her vagina, but bitch still has legs I’d like to crawl up just to see where they end and I am hoping her Vagina didn’t age as badly as her grill, because nothing ruins a great set of legs like a vagina that dangles like the shit stuck to my wife’s ass hair, because let’s face it, it’s a hard to reach area.


Related Posts:

Cameron Diaz’s Hot Legs Pictures
Paris Hilton’s Prison Legs
Kimberly Stewart’s Got Some Hot Legs
Jessica Simpson’s Got Some Solid Legs

Posted in:Ex-Model|Helena Christensen|Legs|old|Unsorted