I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

20

Sep

I am – Hometown Hotties Finalist Juda of the Day

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This bitch looks like a hick and sounds like a hick and must be a fucking hick, she is from Mississippi and I am all for you racist motherfuckers, don’t try to deny it, I saw Mississippi Burning, I know how it is there, but you racist motherfuckers aren’t all for me…because I am mexican.

I am not saying that this girl is a racist, I don’t know if she is smart enough to know what racism is. Sure that country twang is hot in a porno movie, but the idea of having to listen to her get interviewed and speak is enough for you to not vote for her.

She also has shitty fucking pictures, I assume Maxim did the shoot, but I think it’s safe to say that the one that made the cut were shot by her Uncle Billy at their last family BBQ. In the basement…while the rest of the family was sleeping…if you know what I mean…Uncle Billy’s a pervert with big dreams for his niece….

She’s got shitty hair, no tits, and a tight body from pickin’ all that cotten or tobacco or whatever the fuck else they do in Mississipi, but this is a Hometown Hotties contest, and if your hometown is a place where just you and your family live, then it’s really not a hometown at all, but more of a home-farm, or home-compound..or you get what I am saying…I’m all for small tits but not when your trying to win as a Maxim girl. I assume she won’t win because they don’t have the internet where’s she’s from, so she loses out on hometown people spending the next 3 weeks of harvest sitting in front of a computer voting over and over in hopes of giving her a chance…

I am guessing that her even making it this far is because bitch plays a mean banjo and by banjo I mean cock, as in she sucked someone off somewhere down the line, possible numerous times, or numerous people in the line to get to where she is, which isn’t really anywhere,…

Poor Juda. That’s what you get for killing Jesus…Get it bible reference…Fuck I am smart….Cuddles…and don’t get me wrong, I’d totally bang her….I wouldn’t want her feeling like shit about herself over this, provided this site had more than 7 readers and she actually read the review. Reality is that she is hotter than any girl I’ve banged, but none of the girls I’ve banged put themselves in contests based on their looks up against other girls who think they are hot enough to win the prestigious Hometown Hottie title. My girls weren’t trying to be cover girls..they were just trying to not be evicted and find food to eat and 5 dollars for another hit of whatever they were on.


Related:

Check Out Juda’s Profile

Check Out The Maxim Hometown Hotties Contest

Previous Hometown Hottie stepREVIEWs:

ERIN
LETICIA
KENDA

Posted in:Hometown Hotties Contest|Juda|Maxim|stepREVIEW|Unsorted

2007

20

Sep

I am – Crazy Lesbian Dancer of the Day

Crazy dancers are always the life of the fucking party, they make people laugh and they seemingly don’t give a fuck about anything which is usually confused as being confidence and chicks like confidence, but usually not that kind of confidence because that confidence is more like insanity or drug use and it makes people uncomfortable. Point being that I have never seen the Crazy Dancer leave with the chicks, but maybe that’s because he’s not into chicks….I remember hearing a story that men don’t ever dance with their hands about their shoulders, they kind of just stand there and throw them out every once in a while, while girls are more into the whole spanish arms up and look at my titties bounce moves. So when you see this you gotta think dude’s a fucking lesbian but at least he’s having a good fuckin’ time….


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stepTV Interviews Hard Nipples

Posted in:Dancing|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

20

Sep

I am – Kate Hudson in a Robe of the Day

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I would normally be excited to see pretty much any girl wearing a silk robe. It’s like lingerie that isn’t as explicit as lingerie and when you watch as much porn as I do, sometimes seeing girls covered up is hotter than seeing them spread open with things being shoved in them. The silk robe reminds me of some pinup shit from the 50s, but not when it’s on Kate Hudson. All I see is a woman being blamed for the demise of Owen Wilson, when I think the reality of it all is that he tried to kill himself after realizing that he had been banging her all these months. He was like “this boring bitch is so boring that even when she wears silk robes she’s boring, what the fuck was I doing, I don’t deserve to live” and slashed his wrists then called his friends because he didn’t acutally want to die but was making a point….

Speaking of boring….I am on some Librarians mailing list that some asshole reader put me on back when I was more abusive to people through email. I was starting a war with someone for whatever reason and he signed me up to 1000 mailing lists. He won the war because within an hour I was getting 100s of fucking newsletters. I managed to get myself off all of them except 1 and it is the WorldCat Collection Analysis group. This is a sample of the last email they sent:

The export function in WorldCat Collection Analysis is currently not behaving properly. Users can currently export a batch of up to 2,500 records. However, if a user tries to export records beyond the initial 2,500 (i.e. records 2,501-5,000), the initial 2,500 records are reported again. We are currently working to resolve this issue and will notify this list as soon as possible.

All other functions in WorldCat Collection Analysis are functioning properly.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

Thank you.

Rob

Today people started emailing into the mailing list asking to be removed so I responded with nude pics of chicks saying “you can’t leave the party now, we’ve only just started” and shit like “Hey Ladies, What are you wearing, I am so hard right now”..no one has responded to me, because librarians are fucking boring…

Kate Hudson should have been a librarian. Here are those pics…


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Kate Hudson in a Silk Robe on Set From Earlier in the Month
Kate Hudson Bikini Pictures
Kate Hudson’s Got No Tits Pictures
Kate Hudson and Her STD on the Beach

Posted in:Boring|Kate Hudson|Robe|Silk|Unsorted

2007

20

Sep

I am – Alyson Hannigan in Fuck Me Boots of the Day

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Here is a picture of Alyson Hannigan in fuck me boots, because fuck me boots were so fucking popular a few years ago that everywhere you went girls would be rockin’ them with a hot short skirt, but for some reason shit shifted, fuck me boots were considered too whorish for girls to wear, because they were called fuck me boots, and they were done feeding into the degradation. Maybe they got a boyfriend or became a feminist or some kind of hippie tree hugger who works at the organic food store who hates me because I don’t recycle and doesn’t wear shoes because they find them oppressive but I know they are still out there and Alsyon Hannigan is reminding us that they exist while reminding us that she still exists because let’s face it, being casted as the ugly chick in American Pie should have broken her down enough to realize that she’s the ugly chick no one wants to see on screen.

Either way, it’s too bad that this bitch has to be the one reminding us that Fuck Me Boots are still around because no one wants to fuck her, she’s probably wearing the boots in efforts to get fucked because it’s understood what they imply…the next best thing to wearing fuck me boots would be to wear a “Please Fuck Me” hat, or to walk around, vagina exposed, grabbing her box screaming “I NEED FUCKING DICK”.

That said, I was outside for a few hours and saw some girl who was probably barely 18 walking to school and she was wearing these boots that went up to her fucking vagina. They were some next level pretty woman shit, with a stiletto heel and all, and she was with her mom and I was fuckin’ thrown off as fuck. But not as thrown off as the time my friend told me that he wanted to bang Alyson Hannigan, that shit was just too much to handle and I had no choice but to “peace” on that friendship. That was me using terms of the generation. I am trying to cater to a younger crowd.


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Posted in:Alyson Hannigan|Boots|Legs|Ugly|Unsorted

2007

20

Sep

I am – Beyonce Leaving a Party With Her Tits of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Beyonce out partying. I can only assume she is drinking away the pain that she has because her boyfriend Jay Z pretty much owns and created Rihanna and Rihanna is more popular and better looking than Beyonce. It’s one of those common stories of the dude trading his girl in for a newer model because he started with her when she was at her peak, when everyone wanted a piece of her and she found stability that kinda made her and her career fall apart because she was probably finding more happiness in him than in her singing. She had already achieved everything there was to achieve in music and she was in movies and shit but the one thing she never had was a normal relationship….so as she fell apart, he went to the drawing boards and pulled this poor chick from Barbados out of nowhere and brought her to the top. No matter how much money Beyonce has, no matter how confident she is, she and everyone else knows the reality of what’s going on and it’s all about the fresher pussy….

I remember trying to replace my wife with fresher, hotter pussy, but realized that I have pretty much no game, no money and I am kinda accustomed to the disgusting lifestyle I live. I feel like cleaning up my act, getting in shape, getting a haircut and clean clothes after getting a job is all a waste of my time because in the end I won’t be able to get hard and I kinda like hating my wife and being disgusted by my wife, it gives me something to write about. If I was fucking some hot number that I seduced, I probably wouldn’t update the site, I’d just be watching her as much as I could and that wouldn’t be fair to you. So unlike Jay-Z, I don’t give up on people for self-interest….and like Beyonce, I drink my pain away….


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Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

20

Sep

I am – Jessica Simpson Playing a Drunk of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Jessica Simpson pretending to be Britney Spears, only instead of being in her soiled underwear she in a dress and instead of drinking rubbing alcohol out of the plastic bottle, she’s drinking champagne, but since she’s a good Christian girl the bottle empty and she’s just acting drunk….maybe she should stick to singing…

I remember getting with a crazy repressed Christian chick. Everytime we’d fuck, she’d cry because of her guilt but while we were fucking bitch was insane, she’d be grabbing my cock like no one has ever grabbed it and bitch even made me cum from a handjob like I was 14. I don’t know it was like Jesus possessed her into being extremely fucking bad, but as soon as she was done crying off the shame she’d get up and be a model Christian citizen who told people she was waiting til she was married to give it up, who went to church groups and to the church with her family and I was just this dirty fucking secret. She is the first girl who begged me to finish in her ass everytime we were together and the show stopper was the day she came over with a virgin mary statue and fucked herself with it while making me watch, that lead to crucifixes, jesus statues and some ceremonial candles she stole from her church. The whole thing was a total mind fuck, but I wasn’t complaining, I didn’t care that she had all these fucking issues, because she was good fucking times….even though they were weird times.

All this to say that behind every christian girl is a crazy sexual deviant who’s been repressed all their lives and is ready to fucking explode….and here are those pics.


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Posted in:Champagne|cleavage|Drunk|Jessica Simpson|Unsorted

2007

20

Sep

I am – Pam Anderson Covered Up at the Beach

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I was surprised to see these pictures of Pam Anderson on the beach covered up, mainly because she’s an exhibitionist slut who is normally in a skimpy bikini with fake and real parts spilling the fuck out, but I guess it was cold out considering that buddy she’s with is rocking a gayer than bicycle shorts, tight as fuck wet suit.

I usually rip into this bitch for being a trashy washed up stripper. Or I go off about her hepatitis and how she was the object of all your wet dreams when you were in high school, but I guess I gotta step back and be realistic for a second. She’s got a couple of kids, she’s pretty menopausal, and she’s still got a tighter body than most 20 year olds I try to get naked. Sure, I prey on the ugly ones because they appreciate the attention and I appreciate their youth, but they are still girls. I think Pam’s future husband does the same thing, only he’s more successful and the young girls he goes after are heiresses that he’s enterprising enough to film getting fucked raw dog. I always wondered if he was the source of her herpes, which is the strain that has hit everyone in Hollywood, or if she scored that somewhere else. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is what Pam and his sex smells like, you know her hep, his herp shit’s could be pretty fucking gross.

I am not so into fake tits, I don’t like what they do to girls. They make them so tit-centric that being around them is fucking tedious. They always talk about their tits, flash their tits, make people touch their tits, which isn’t the bad part, the bad part is that I am never the one they ask to touch, lick or rate them, and whenever I am left out, I get bitter. I was walking down the street today and saw some pregnant lookin’ chick walking alone with a set of fake tits, my first thought was that I bet she didn’t know the daddy’s name because her fake tits lured him in one drunken night, when I asked her, she wasn’t too impressed and told me to fuck off.

Either way, here are the Pam Anderson and the shit stain on her arm covered up on the beach pics.

Don’t worry, this post didn’t make me laugh either.


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Posted in:Ass|Beach|Covered Up|Legs|Pamela Anderson|Tits|Unsorted

2007

20

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I don’t even know what happened to me today. I got this killer migraine that made it impossible to look at my screen and I spent most of the night throwing up what looked like blood, but was probably my ketchup soup that I made because I am on a budget here. I had tickets to go see some Beastie Boys instrumental shit that is their new project. I hadn’t listened to the Beastie Boys since 1992 or earlier and wasn’t impressed, especially with the migraine and puking, so I only stayed for 4 songs. On my way home I saw a couple banging in their apartment window that didn’t have curtains on it. He was taking her from behind. I have shitty eyesite and can’t afford glasses but it looked like a good time and I remembered what that life was like. So I have decided to make a move and start convince girls to get naked on the site in person. I’ve spent the last year doing it online and it hasn’t been working, so I am going to take my charm to the street with a shitty video camera I steal from my neighbor’s kid.

In practicing I got some girl who reads the site, who is banging some rich dude who lets her stay in his penthouse apartment, to take a bath for me. She had pretty dope tits and the whole experience wouldn’t have made for a good stepTV episode, but it was a good enough experience to know that I’ve got what it takes to win chicks over….She ended up flooding the bathroom, cutting herself while shaving her cooch for me and possibly destroying her computer, but that’s the price you gotta pay if you want me to watch you take a bath.

Here are my links…

Britney Emotionally Eats Ice Cream…But I Love All Girls Who Eat Ice Cream
GO

Some Girl Gets Caught Leaving Some Dude a Sexy Webcam Message
GO

Emmy Award Edition Whoose Boobs
GO

Some Hot Teen Model Named Kari Sweets, so Young and Wet and Half Naked in Video
GO

Some Girl With HUGE tits Makes a Condom Cannon
GO

Some Slut Named Neveah is Natural and Naked for You
GO

Andrea Corr Upskirt Panty Shot
GO

More Britney in Her Underwear Pics
GO

Some Britney Going Bar Hopping After Losing Her Kids
GO

Some Adriana Lima is Hot But Scary TIT Pics
GO

Diddy’s Banned TV Commercial Because It’s Too Sexy…
GO

Crazy Sexy Slutty Naked Tom Ford Ads
GO

Some Insane Lady Named Marjorie Johnson Giving Out Cookies on the Emmy Red Carpet Video
GO

Some Webcam Chick Teasing Video
GO

Some Idiot Frat Boys Have a Smoking Contest Because They Want to Die
GO

Danni Minogue’s Bikini Pictures With Nipple Pictures
GO

Underage Girl You’ll Be All Over in a Couple Years Named Taylor Momsen
GO

Brtiney Spears Parties Wearing Some Kind of Animal
GO

Sarah Jessica Parker Eats Some Face
GO

Alicia Silverstone Naked…Insane…For Some Vegatarian Commercial
GO

Some Penthouse Pet Named Hannah Hilton
GO

Jennifer Aniston Showing Off Some Tit in Some Dress
GO

Some Chick on the View Thinks the World is Flat…Video…Wow…
GO

Some Chick Named Jade Goody’s Hard Nipples in a Bikini
GO

Some Naked Yoga Pictures
GO

Some 2 Year Old Kid is the World’s Youngest Skateboarder…
GO

Joel Madden is Going to Marry Nicole Richie, Since He Laid His See in Her….I Guess He Feels it’s the Right Thing to Do
GO

Alicia Keys Has Fucking Disgusting Skin
GO

Some Dude Named Midget Mac is Cooler than You
GO

Some Kid Almost Dies on the Merry Go Round
GO

Britney Spears to Undergo Random Drug Testing…
GO

Cop Slaps Some Annoying Bitch
GO

Paris Hilton in Pantyhose
GO

Big Booty Shake Compilation Video
GO

Jennifer Tilly Topless Stripping Routine Video
GO

Three Hot Girls Bouncing Their Tits
GO

Cindy Crawford Looking Older and Still Hot in Silver
GO

Some Chick Being Fed Dog Food
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Celebrity Cleavage Showdown – Jessica Simpson vs. Megan Fox
GO

Some Playboy Chick Named Aliya Wolf Pictures
GO

Idiots Playing With Tazars….
GO

Some Larry David Clip About Cum Stains Because He’s a Jew I Find Funny
GO

Here’s a Retardedly Flexible Chick in Underwear Being Flexible Video
GO

Kate Moss Upskirt Pictures
GO

Some Chick Eating a Live Scorpion Video
GO

Robert Deniro on Sesame Street with Elmo
GO

Insane Market in Bangkok Has a Train Running Through It…Sounds Boring But is Worth Checking Out…
GO

OJ Is Released…Bail is Set…He Deserves the Chair
GO

Some Naked and Wet Chicks by a Waterfall
GO

Some Big Asian Boobs on Some Big Asian Boobed Girl Named Mai Ly
GO

Some Dude Gets Caught in His Chimney Because He Wanted To Feel Like Santa Claus
GO

Some More Petra Nemcova Cleavage Pics
GO

Here’s a Flying Saucer Video because Aliens Exist…
GO

Some Cam Chick Shows Off Her Huge Cans
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Kim Kardashian’s Tits at Some Maxim Event
GO

WWE Divas 2007 Special Edition Magazine Pictures
GO

Some Kelly Osborne all Dressed Up Pictures
GO

Nude Photographer of the Day
GO

Jennifer Love Hewitt in Hotter Days Gallery
GO

Aline Nakashima is a Japanese Brazilian Model and This is What She Had to Say
GO

Some Dude Gets Bamboo Cane Broken Over His Back….Idiot
GO

Some Hypnotic Bootyshake Video Making the Internet Rounds
GO

Broke Spanish Handball Team Poses Nude to Make Money…I Love People Who Get Naked For Money…
GO

Gisele Wears a Dress Made Out of Water in Some Ad Campaign
GO

Some Photobucket Chick Showing Her Box
GO

More of the Photobucket Chick Showing Her Box and Fucking
GO

Even More of the Photobucket Chick With a Vibrator
GO

Some Vintage Porn Scene Where Some Bitch Makes Her Best Friend Eat Her Mom Out
GO

Some Chinese Dude Likes To Take His Cock To the Gym Video
GO

Some Photobucket Vagina Shaving Action
GO

Some Naked Chick Soaking in Milk…
GO

Michelle Stefano Suckin’ Dick Gets a 75
GO

McDonald’s Targets You
GO

Some Chick Sticks Her Panties In Her Cooch…
GO

Some Champion Female Wrestler Video
GO

Some Chick Topless at the Beach
GO

Find Pussy In Your Neighborhood That is Ready and Willing
GO

Use This To Get Them To Fuck You
GO


Bonus – Samantha Bee Finds Out if the Nation is Ready for an American
President…

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

19

Sep

I am – Hometown Hotties Finalist Kenda of the Day

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I am not sure what is more confusing to me, the fact that this bitch’s name is Kenda or the fact that she’s got no tits. I am all for small tits but by looking at the other girls she looks the most like a dud and I know you are into that, but I thought the Hometown Hottie contest was all about finding the hottest stripper looking bitch out there to help shift her career from getting paid to get topless for men in a bar, to getting paid to get topless while strategically hiding their nipples for the world. I guess Kenda and her stupid name are hitting this contest to show the world that you don’t need 8000 dollar breast implants to be a half naked party slut, and I guess she gets some points for that.

The nice thing about Kenda is that she is training to be a pre-school teacher, it shows her maternal and softer side. I know that if I had kids, taking them to a girl like this would definitely be part of my daily activities in hopes that one day I could trick her into doing dirty things which I don’t think is too hard to do, I’d just tell her I was from Maxim and we wanted to do a follow-up shoot in her mouth…

Here is Kenda, vote for her if she’s your thing. She was kinda too plain for me to go into stories about my life, because she didn’t inspire any and I know I’ve got lots in there, so for her not to inspire any, that’s a pretty bad sign. I can assume she doesn’t inspire you and that she’s going to lose.

Related:

Check Out Kenda’s Profile

Check Out The Maxim Hometown Hotties Contest

Hometown Hottie stepREVIEWs:

ERIN

LETICIA

Posted in:Hometown Hotties Contest|Kendra|Maxim|stepREVIEW|Unsorted

2007

19

Sep

I am – Dane Cook Sex Scene from Good Luck Chuck of the Day


GOOD LUCK CHUCK – NSFW Clip – Watch more free videos

I hate Dane Cook. I don’t find him funny and I used to be offended that this fucker was famous and making money for being such a fucking asshole and not the good kind of asshole that makes you laugh, but the kind of asshole you just want to punch in the face.

In this clip he’s banging some topless chick with his shirt on. We all know that he’s not actually banging her but the ending is pretty good because I just keep thinking about how I wish that actually happened to this cocksucker on one of his college tours. He’s the kind of guy who looks like he’s never been beaten up and the best way to make an asshole shut up is to get your big scary gay friend to rape him. Nothing ruins a man’s with a stupid sense of humor’s jokes than violating him.

I used to know this one dude who was always an asshole who would get drunk with us. He was a rich kid who thought he was invincible. We couldn’t ever calm him down, he’d just spit on people, throw his drink on people, dance with people’s girlfriends and seriously stir up shit when he shouldn’t have. We were constantly backin’ him up when people would turn on him and he never got more than a push and always walked away the bigger man. We all would talk about how he needed to get beat up because would be the best thing for him to learn there are some people you shouldn’t fuck with.

He ended up getting arrested for some stupid shit he did while drunk that involved taking a baseball bat to parked cars in the parking garage of his building that was under video camera surveillance and spent some time in some maximum security prison because it was considered a serious offense and because he had a shitty lawyer. I assume that they took his trust fund ass virginity when he was inside for those 6 months because when dude came out he never started drunken shit, he was always nice to be around and always bowed down to people bigger than him, when in the past he woulda got in there face. When I’d look into his eye, I knew that something broke him on the inside and that something was some biker’s dick who was in for murder.

So here’s the Dane Cook video that I like to believe is a real situation because this fucker needs to be put inline.


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Posted in:Dane Cook|Good Luck Chuck|Nipples|Sex Scene|Tits|Unsorted