DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

23

Aug

I am – Charlize Theron’s Hard Nipples of the Day

In an act of desperation to find something decent to post today while hung the fuck over, I came across these Charlize Theron pics. Now they aren’t that interesting to look at, but if you really are desperate you’ll look really closely and see some barely there nipple action, but you’re used to being barely there, with your small penis and all.

I think Charlize Theron is hot and I remember learning about her in the 90s in Playboy. The first time I saw her was while taking a shit at some dude’s house who had the Playboy she was in next to the toilet. So despite relating this bitch to taking a mean shit, I did find her amazing to look at and any excuse to throw her up here is good enough for me….

Speaking of desperation, I was at a bar a little while ago and this group of young girls showed up in matching t-shirts. The guy I was with started chatting them up and it turned out that they were launching some shitty clothing line and were totally willing to do anything to get ahead….I told my friend to tell them that he ran a big website and makes people famous everyday and that he’d be able to help them hit it big. My friend decided to tell them that it was a shitty name and moved on with his night by drinking away his pain with me by his side. An hour later, I happened to be next to the girls and this asshole who had been hustling them since we left them was running every ounce of game he could find on them and they weren’t having it. I unfortunately became a prop in his pick-up strategy when he grabbed me and tried ballroom dancing with me. I didn’t know how to react because he was bigger and more drunk than me and because I was never used as a prop to get a bitch in such a homosexual way in my life…but I finally got away from him and the girls thought it was so funny that all four of them left with him. I was used, emasculated and a felt like a fucking fag, but the positive in all this is that my dick doesn’t work so I had little use for them and I couldn’t get turned on by the dude being so close to me so I didn’t have to go home to some unresolved sexuality issues.

Point of all this is that Charlize Theron is the kind of African you racists want to see on all fours…

Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Bikini Ass and Dog
Charlize Theron Bikini Pics
Posh Spice has Hard Nipples

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

23

Aug

I am – Charlize Theron's Hard Nipples of the Day

3 Comments »

In an act of desperation to find something decent to post today while hung the fuck over, I came across these Charlize Theron pics. Now they aren’t that interesting to look at, but if you really are desperate you’ll look really closely and see some barely there nipple action, but you’re used to being barely there, with your small penis and all.

I think Charlize Theron is hot and I remember learning about her in the 90s in Playboy. The first time I saw her was while taking a shit at some dude’s house who had the Playboy she was in next to the toilet. So despite relating this bitch to taking a mean shit, I did find her amazing to look at and any excuse to throw her up here is good enough for me….

Speaking of desperation, I was at a bar a little while ago and this group of young girls showed up in matching t-shirts. The guy I was with started chatting them up and it turned out that they were launching some shitty clothing line and were totally willing to do anything to get ahead….I told my friend to tell them that he ran a big website and makes people famous everyday and that he’d be able to help them hit it big. My friend decided to tell them that it was a shitty name and moved on with his night by drinking away his pain with me by his side. An hour later, I happened to be next to the girls and this asshole who had been hustling them since we left them was running every ounce of game he could find on them and they weren’t having it. I unfortunately became a prop in his pick-up strategy when he grabbed me and tried ballroom dancing with me. I didn’t know how to react because he was bigger and more drunk than me and because I was never used as a prop to get a bitch in such a homosexual way in my life…but I finally got away from him and the girls thought it was so funny that all four of them left with him. I was used, emasculated and a felt like a fucking fag, but the positive in all this is that my dick doesn’t work so I had little use for them and I couldn’t get turned on by the dude being so close to me so I didn’t have to go home to some unresolved sexuality issues.

Point of all this is that Charlize Theron is the kind of African you racists want to see on all fours…

Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Bikini Ass and Dog
Charlize Theron Bikini Pics
Posh Spice has Hard Nipples

Posted in:Charlize Theron|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

23

Aug

I am – Lindsay Lohan and Rebecca Gayheart are Criminals Who Grocery Shop of the Day

1 Comment »

So one of these girls killed someone or ran someone over or some shit that landed her up against manslaughter charges and the other is slowly killing herself and her career with DUI’s, Drug Possession and Assault charges and both happened to go grocery shopping yesterday, because that’s what people who hate the law do, they pretend to do wholesome things, you know, keeping up appearances by acting like housewives or suburban moms or hired filipino maids when reality is they are just waiting to break the law again, because they’ve got a taste for it and are addicted to the rush…

I once knew this guy who was really into getting stripped on stage at stripclubs, he would go from club to club claiming it was his birthday or bachelor party or whatever else he could think of as a good excuse to be brought on stage with the strippers where the proceeded to strip and humiliate him by spanking him with his belt and making him rock the pole. I never knew whether him wanting to go on stage was weirder than his one friend who payed for him to go on stage every single time and would just sit there watching him wide-eyed like it was the funniest thing he ever saw and like it was a little piece of heaven….

I don’t know what that has to do with these pictures, but I do know that just because he was in a stripclub didn’t mean he was straight, just like how these girls in a grocery store doesn’t mean they’re wholesome….

Rebecca Gayheart – Stay Out of Her Cart’s Way Or She’ll Kill You…Seriously…

Lohan Grocery Shopping – Keep Her Out of the Household Cleaning Products and/or Mouthwash Section – Cuz Bitch Loves Getting High….

Related Posts

Lohan in a Bikini and Picking Her Wedgie
Rebecca Gayheart Topless on a Yacht
Lohan Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Ciminals|Grocery Shopping|Lindsay Lohan|Rebecca Gayheart|Unsorted

2007

23

Aug

I am – Throwback Titty Thursday of the Day

2 Comments »

I got this email from the only guy who reads the site and emails pictures on the regular saying:

i’m unemployed again, so i’m just being silly, cause i got nothing better to do, besides go to my local bar and talk to the same idiots about the same shit over and fuckin over.

He attached these pictures of old celebrity tit pics and I decided to make his day by posting them. I like to call this stepDREAMS because it’s a lot like the Make a Wish Foundation – only for perverts and not for retards or terminally ill kids. I like to make losers sitting depressed at home, broke and lonely, lookin’ at their extensive collection of famous bitches topless, dreaming of days that were feel some level of importance, even if my site is a piece of shit no one reads, at least it’s something that may keep them from jumping off the overpass down the street from their mother’s house they never moved out of. ….So here are pictures from a better time….in hopes of better times to come….

I call this Throwback Titty Thursday…I don’t know if they are all real, I know they are all pretty shitty to look at, but I am just trying to save lives here…Cuddles….

Cindy Margolis

Daryll Hannah

Debbie Harry

Demi Moore

Farrah Fawcett

Goldie Hawn

Heather Mills

Julia Louis Dreyfus

Linda Blair

Loni Anderson

Roseanne Barr

Shannon Tweed

Susan Sarandon

Related Posts:

Throwback Demi Moore Erotica
Throwback Drew Barrymore Tit Flash
Throwback Samantha Fox Topless
Throwback Mischa Barton Nipple
Throwback to Gwen Stefani’s STD
Throwback Naked Playmate

Posted in:old|throwback|Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

23

Aug

I am – Charlie Uchea Nip Slip of the Day

1 Comment »

I am not posting this shit because I know who this slut is, I am posting it because she’s rocking a double tit slip in the same fucking night with the same shit, like a little left tit and a little right tit but not at the same time making me feel like she’s keeping

The reality is that Big Brother cast whores, because whores getting ratings, and without a bitch who is willing to fuck, get naked or whatever else they do on the show, they don’t have much of a fucking show. No one wants to watch a show about a bunch of people who get along, help each other out, spend their days reading, they want smut….and I do too…

I am wondering if It’s one of those chicken or egg situations, like was this bitch a whore before the show, or did the show strip her of all her dignity making her not give a fuck about being naked in public because she’s already been seen naked by the world and by world I mean the UK because that’s where this shit is from. If that’s the case, then we can only hope to seeing her sucking dick in public, masturbating in public, taking a dirty shit in public in the months to come…..she’s just getting warmed up with this tit slip shit.

Related Posts:

Bianca Gascoigne Upskirt
Chanelle From Bigh Brother UK Before She Was Famous
Some Aiseleyne Horgan-Wallace in Action
Big Brother Vagina Slip of the Day

Posted in:Big Brother UK|Charlie Uchea|Drunk|Nipple Slip|Unsorted

2007

23

Aug

I am – Jade Jagger Nude Beach Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I once wrote that I loved this bitch, I am not sure why, because she’s in her late 30’s and that’s not usually my style, I like younger fresher meat, but she’s the daughter of Mick and Bianca Jagger and I guess she’s normally hot and has a lot of money, just not so hot when naked on the beach.

I think the funniest thing about this shit is that it reminds me of my life. For some reason whenever I used to convince a drunk girl to get naked for me, or flash me her tits or shows me her box, I always miss it the first time around, like I wasn’t ready for it and when I ask them to do it again they always just think I am some pervert trying to get a second peak even when I am paying them…I remember hooking up an hour with a frigid whore, I didn’t really think shit was possible but bitch would let you bang her but she wanted the lights off, she wanted to do it missionary and she refused to do much more than lie there like you were fucking a scared virgin, only she was a hooker and her pussy wasn’t built like a virgin, it was purchased bad sex and I guess she catered to guys who liked to pretend they were getting with the 50 year old Jewish or Italian wife who never goes down on them, I figure it was either for guys who were still living in their mom’s basement or for husbands who were married to nymph’s and just wanted to feel like their friends for a change…

Either way, this photographer got a naked bitch on the beach, but didn’t get one bit of tit or ass or fuckin’ pussy. I don’t know how that can happen when shit’s not staged because these pictures remind me of every PG movie nude scene and it’s kinda making me mad…

Related Posts:
Jade Jagger Almost Has an Upskirt
James Jagger Turns 18
Lisa Marie and Jeff Goldblum on the Beach Naked

2007

23

Aug

I am – Anna Faris’ Short Shorts of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Anna Faris showing off the apples of her bottom. This is one of my favorite trends in the last few years, because short shorts not only expose vagina definition, but because seeing ass cheeks reminds me of the 70s and those were the good years. The funny thing is that girls of all ages are rockin’ this and the other day I saw a mother daughter short short duo and shit was better than any porn I have seen.

Either way, this bitch has a long list of D-List credits, so I don’t really know who she is. The reality of the entertainment industry is that D-List celebs have it fucking made. They aren’t the center of attention so they can live semi-normal lives with more money than the average asshole in the world and they don’t have to take themselves too seriously because the movies they are in are shit no one will watch expecting an academy award nomination. If some of these girls weren’t D-Listed they’d be strippers.

The funny thing about strippers is that they think they are celebrities. They walk around the club like they are important and like I should be too scared to ask them for a lap dance even though we pay them to get naked and I see them as my employee since I am paying her and last I checked when you paid someone for their time, they were working for you. The funnier thing about strippers is that they actually think they are professional dancers because I know dance and I know that shit wouldn’t fly at my contemporary dance class….I mean, I like tits.

I am not in a contemporary dance class asshole, I was just at a bar the other day and 5 strippers were stripper dancing in the corner like they were Britney Spears and this was her big comeback performance, but they looked like assholes because they were in clothes and there was no pole, but you couldn’t tell them that they were disasters because they insisted dancing was their job…I corrected them by saying getting naked was their job, then 4 big muscle dudes asked me to back off. Motherfuckers.

Related Posts:

Anna Farris in Her Underwear on Set
Mila Kunis Wears Shorts
Carrie Underwood Wears Shorts

2007

23

Aug

I am – Anna Faris' Short Shorts of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Anna Faris showing off the apples of her bottom. This is one of my favorite trends in the last few years, because short shorts not only expose vagina definition, but because seeing ass cheeks reminds me of the 70s and those were the good years. The funny thing is that girls of all ages are rockin’ this and the other day I saw a mother daughter short short duo and shit was better than any porn I have seen.

Either way, this bitch has a long list of D-List credits, so I don’t really know who she is. The reality of the entertainment industry is that D-List celebs have it fucking made. They aren’t the center of attention so they can live semi-normal lives with more money than the average asshole in the world and they don’t have to take themselves too seriously because the movies they are in are shit no one will watch expecting an academy award nomination. If some of these girls weren’t D-Listed they’d be strippers.

The funny thing about strippers is that they think they are celebrities. They walk around the club like they are important and like I should be too scared to ask them for a lap dance even though we pay them to get naked and I see them as my employee since I am paying her and last I checked when you paid someone for their time, they were working for you. The funnier thing about strippers is that they actually think they are professional dancers because I know dance and I know that shit wouldn’t fly at my contemporary dance class….I mean, I like tits.

I am not in a contemporary dance class asshole, I was just at a bar the other day and 5 strippers were stripper dancing in the corner like they were Britney Spears and this was her big comeback performance, but they looked like assholes because they were in clothes and there was no pole, but you couldn’t tell them that they were disasters because they insisted dancing was their job…I corrected them by saying getting naked was their job, then 4 big muscle dudes asked me to back off. Motherfuckers.

Related Posts:

Anna Farris in Her Underwear on Set
Mila Kunis Wears Shorts
Carrie Underwood Wears Shorts

2007

22

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

Jesus gave me one of the many rubber vaginas he got over the last little while, in hopes that I would give it to a boyfriend of mine and get him to fuck it on camera for the site. Fat ass is still having trouble getting it up, and since we live in fucking poverty, he can’t afford Viagra to aid his little situation. I took it out of the box and got seriously freaked the fuck out over how realistic the thing is and feels from the outside, especially if it was covered in lube.

That being said, since I know you aren’t getting laid anyways, I suggest you go out and pick one up tomorrow, cause you and I both know one of those things is the closest thing you will be getting to pussy for a long time.

Click these links in the meantime.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

The Rad Girls do some pregnant pranks because they are awesome
GO

Foxy Brown is going to jail
GO

Some Hot Chick Named Kristina’s Home Movie Of Her Making Out With Herself
GO

Sexy Shoot with former CNN anchor and On the Lot host Addriana Cost
GO

I frikken LOVE Bill Murray
GO

Christopher Walken is the jam
GO

The Biggest Asshole Ever. Literally
GO

Its tough to out-gay the village the Village People, but these Finnish guys come close
GO

Bear Grylls is a phony
GO

Retard playing with Lion gets what he deserves
GO

Brittney Skyes Internal Affairs
GO

Kat Von D is tasty
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Hilary Duff lets you see up her shorts
GO

Christina Aguilera looking more pregnant by the day
GO

More Pete Doherty crack head drama
GO

I’m with stupid
GO

More Shitney Spears drama
GO

Basketball player doesn’t like Ref’s call and deals him quite the blow
GO

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have separate bedrooms
GO

I hate BMX riders.
GO

Topless Carwash
GO

The glory that is Davd Hasselhoff
GO

Here’s the guy who edits the crappy magazine the hipsters all love called NYLON
GO

Do You Know What Your Daughter is Up To – On Photobucket…?
GO

Some Chick Named Gabriella Nude in Public Action
GO

Andrea Tiede interviewed Maxim “Hometown Hotties” Kerry Suseck and Amber Lancaster on the red carpet and it’s hot…
GO

Man Gets Eating by a Bear at the Beer Fest When He Tried to Fight It
GO

Sluts in Leather Partying
GO

Some Girl’s Selling Cosets…
GO

Some Julia Stiles Is Not Hot Pictures
GO

Beast of a Woman Bends a Frying Pan
GO

Some Girl Working Out’s Intentional Upskirt
GO

Kate Beckinsale Lookin’ Glamorous
GO

Ginger Spice and Her Baby
GO

Some Hot Naked Redhead
GO

Jenna Jameson Got Rid of Her Implants
GO

The Pole Dance Lesson…VIDEO
GO

Britney Has Finally Pulled Herself Back Together
GO

Some Girl and Her Digital Camera
GO

Now THIS is my kind of weddding
GO

Tabitha Taylor has stars in her eyes as the girl next door
GO

A Prinze among men in this angry animation
GO

This guy wins creep of the week
GO

Racy video game covers
GO

Dave Navarro’s porn debut
GO

A whole lotta ugly tits
GO

Some Slut Named Lauren Jones is on some Show Called Anchorwoman Tonight
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Use This Spray Because I Know You’re Not Getting Any Not Using the Spray So You Might As Well Try New Things that can Help…Even If You’re Too Lame to Help….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Asian Rapper of the Day

1 Comment »

I love seeing rich idiot Asian kids that are into hip hop and are thugged out like Lilâ€™ Wayne and T.I, with gold fronts and chains down to their balls. Itâ€™s even better when they do so while singing along to Asian pop hits at karaoke, which completely throws any street crd they think the earn by the way they dress completely out the window. Sometimes I wish that North America actually was the ridiculous stereotype that they make it out to be, I think it would be a hell of a lot more fun.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted