DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

14

May

I am – Michelle Rodriguez Bikini of the Day

These pictures are supposed to be from this weekend, but for some reason they look fucking familiar. I went through my archives to try to find them, but couldn’t so I just assume that this Michelle Rodriguez, monkey looking mexican, just isn’t into wearing bikini bottoms. She’s probably got a fat ass, or some weird deformity like testicles that she’s trying to hide, because even though I can’t find the pictures, I know she’s done this before. What’s even weirder is that I have no idea who this bitch is or what movies she’s been in, but I do know what bikinis she wears.

I kinda feel like I did when I was a kid and was into the girl in the apartment complex next door, I knew pretty much everything about her cuz I wanted a piece, not because I followed her around, but because we crossed paths a lot like I’d run into her at her job or at her school or in the neighborhood. At one point, I had run into her often that I couldn’t just go up to her and ask “do you come here often” or “I think I’ve seen you around”, because it would have been awkward and it probably would have made her think I was a creep or a stalker or some shit. I guess what I am trying to get at with this story of lost opportunities and broken dreams is that if you don’t know a bitch’s name, but know what kind of bikini she wears on the regular, you should introduce yourself. So Michelle Rodriguez, my name is Jesus Martinez and I just wrote about you. Cuddles…

Posted in:Bikini|Michelle Rodriguez|Unsorted

2007

14

May

I am – Britney Spears Staged Performing Pictures of the Day…

1 Comment »

I posted THESE pictures of Britney performing in Vegas that were taken from some dude’s camera phone. I came across these better quality pictures that I think are staged and taken by a professional to look like shitty quality pictures that were leaked to the internet, because fucking with the media and tricking the general population into thinking some intentional out of focus picture was taken by a crazed fan when bitch was performing, when in reality she’s posing before the show as a publicity stunt.

I don’t generally mistrust the media and think I am being lied to and that I should start a site to out the lies, but I do know that I had a girl who reads the site go to the show and bitch was so scrubbed down by security that I think she had an orgasm. I’m talking no phones, cameras or pad and paper to do artist renditions of the show….

Either way, I’ll post them anyway because after all that’s happened to Britney, I think she deserves the extra coverage, even if it’s just for 10 assholes like you, I am still doing my part….

Posted in:Britney Spears|Performing|Slut|Unsorted

2007

14

May

I am – Lohan Bikini Nipple Slip Pictures of the Day

5 Comments »

I drank too much beer last night and ended up passing out on the floor again, it happens, I was feeling a little overwhelmed with the whole mother’s day thing because my wife kept crying because her daughters went to some nightclub where their thug boyfriends sell drugs on sunday. It’s the place where all the strippers in the city go to party because sunday is the end of the weekend and their purses are filled with money from assholes like us, giving them the opportunity to get wrecked and only have to get naked at the end of the night when they go home with the rich guy who was buying them Grey Goose all night, because strippers are more into wallet fucking because their tits are a business asset to them and not free.

Lohan is a lot like a stripper because she’s shown her cunt, she’s shown her tits, and she’s always in a bikini and makes money from it. I know every fucking site has these up already and every asshole at work is emailing the links to his lame coworkers, but I can’t let those cocksuckers rain on my blogging parade so here they are.

I haven’t decided if Lohan’s really got a slammin body, her ass may be fat but there’s something missing from it, maybe it’s your dick…get it. I have decided that she’s a little fucking whiner with her whole substance abuse bullshit, her life can’t be that bad, bitch is in a new city every fucking week and gets to take time off on the beach to decompress from her hectic life of going to events and fucking models from the UK named Calum Best. If she wants to feel pain she should come sit on my fucking computer for a week writing shit for unappreciative cunts like you, barely making enough money to get a fucking lap dance…yeah that shit leads you into the gutter….so today I hate Lohan for showing off how chill her life is….while I upload pics of the cunt like I fucking care if she’s in a fucking bikini…fuck.

Here’s a link to the Lohan Pictures in the Forum all the celebrity bloggers get their pictures from
GO

Here’s a Link to 119 Pictures HQ and 5 Nip Slip Pictures Download for you Creepy Fucks…
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Lindsay Lohan|Nipple Slip|Tits|Unsorted

2007

13

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

7 Comments »

I am pretty late on these steplinks because my computer stopped working. It happens, especially when you found your computer in the garbage one day while walkin to the park to get drunk after a group of dudes dressed in suits stole your fucking computer when you were at a Starbucks trying to talk to some dude about helping you take your site to the next level because you weren’t making enough money to pay for the server but he had some kind of interest in helping you and you trusted him because not being able to pay for the server fucking sucks.

Either way, it’s mother’s day and if you don’t have a mother, spend it with your wife and if you don’t have a wife, spend it with your girlfriend and if you don’t have a girlfriend, spend it with that hot girl that just moved here for school and has no friend making her willing to spend time with you….

I have been running around all day trying to get shit together for my stepdaughters to make their mom dinner, but they never showed up, my plan failed, proving that being a nice guy doesn’t pay, it just prevents you from getting your stepLINKS up sooner…or something.

Click these links homeboy.

Some Insane Street Mob Turns into a Brawl Video
GO

Pussycat Doll in a Bikini with The Guy She’s Fucking With Her Dick
GO

Pussycat Doll Doing Yoga on the Beach – All Kinds of Poses Too Bad She’s Got a Dick
GO

Geri Halliwell Panty Upskirt
GO

Some Pornstar from the Legendary 70’s Porn Taboo is Interviewed
GO

Some Laguna Beach on the Beach in a Bikini Top Action…
GO

Carmen Electra in FHM
GO

Some Sammy Winward Bikini Pictures.
GO

Drew Barrymore Looks Like a See-Through While Partying in Vegas
GO

Some Britney Spears Nipple VIdeo
GO britney_spears_boobies.wmv

Jenna Jameson Posing Pictures
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Chick Named Crystal Klein in a Leather Mini Skirt
GO

Some Fetish Fashion How From a Year Ago Cuz You’re Gay
GO

A Whole Lotta Ass
GO

Some VBS Video on Muslim Dudes Fucking Donkey’s Cuz the Muslim Girls Don’t Put Out…
GO

The Game Gets Arrested
GO

Leticia Cline is a Ducati Girl Posing in her Bikini
GO

Girls Next Door Pillow Fight
GO

Hot Teen Pajama Party
GO

Paris Hilton’s Cry For Attention With a Sympathy Poster for her Dad who is in Hospital
GO

Latina Ass Video
GO

Some Idiot Lets His Friends Shoot his Glasses Off With a Pellet Gun Because He’s Fucking Retarded and Doesn’t Realize that Losing an Eye is Not Worth a Shitty Video That Sites Like Mine Link To…
GO

The Accidental Pornographer
GO

Photobucket Chick Naked
GO

Iraqi Hero Tasered By Vegas Police
GO

One Punch Knockout in some Stupid FIght
GO

Nude Asian Classical Music
GO

Jessica Alba Photoshoot on the Beach
GO

Gisele Bundchen Photoshoot Video
GO

Gisele Bundchen Candids
GO

Some Cop Thinks He’s Overdosing on Marijuana and Calls 911
GO

Some Hot Bikini Fashion Video That’s Not Really That Hot But I am Posting it Anyway
GO

Lohan Does Martha Stewart
GO

Celebrities Giving the Middle FInger
GO

Candy Spelling’s Letter to Paris Hilton
GO

Update on Akon’s Dry Fucking a Minor Video
GO

Taylor Twins Showing to Fill Your Twin Fantasies
GO

Anal Sex Leaves Shit on some Pornstar’s Dick – NSFW
GO

More Pictures of the Naked Mexicans
GO

A whole lot of slutty dolls at the dollar store
GO

Last Night’s Party Goes to a Very Naked Event that I wasn’t Invited To…
GO

Urinals with a View
GO

Star Jones Dressed Insane
GO

Some Stupid Masturbation Intervention Clip
GO

Some Vintage Erotica
GO

The White Stripes Tour Dates
GO

American Apparel Goes Orthodox
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

It’s Mother’s Day – This WIll Help You Make a Lucky Girl a Mother to Your Babies…
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

11

May

I am – Britney Spears Dressed Like a Porno Clown of the Day

1 Comment »

Britney was spotted out in LA with some chick who she probably is paying to be her friend dressed like a clown I want to fuck. I don’t know much about fashion, I wear fucking soiled clothes that smell like my ass and I haven’t really bought anything in the last 10 years it’s all been stuff my wife accumulates because I have pretty much given up but I do know that Von Dutch trucker hats have been out of style for at least 3 years. I remember a time when every cunt and his sister had one of these fuckers and it used to really piss me the fuck off. The idiots who paid the 50 – 100 dollars for the stupid things, didn’t realize that trucker hats are the cheapest hats out there and the ones I used to wear never cost me more than 50 cents. Unfortunately, those same fuckers have since realized that because I used to like using the hat as a warning sign of who to stay as fuck away from for being a cunt or who to try to hit up for some spare change because they were obviously fucking assholes when it came to their finances…

If you’re wondering why I want to bang her, it’s because busting all over her bald head would be funny, the bruised legs and high socks and short shorts remind me of 70s porn and the glasses remind me of a rich Jewish grandmother who’s about to die and leave me her millions of dollars in my very own trust fund…which banging Britney pretty much is if you get her load dropped in the right place but the whole decision making process of whether to hit her head or bank account through her womb would be too much to handle, thank god I am impotent and don’t have to make these decisions….and her fucking towel reminding us all that bitch is fucking crazy as she grasps her friends hand to guide her through the streets because she is so jacked on meds she doesn’t know where she is.

That’s pretty much all I have to say about that….

Posted in:Britney Spears|Shorts|Socks|Unsorted

2007

11

May

I am – Ornella Muti Nipple Slip of the Day

2 Comments »

I was just woken up in a panic because my whole room was filled with smoke. I was convinced that the building was on fire and that I was going to have to be a fucking hero. I looked out the window and saw a cloud of smoke and heard sirens and knew I had to act. Since my wife was still asleep, I didn’t want to walk her up, because she’d slow us all down by not being able to fit down the fire escape, making us all feel guilty about leaving her behind, this way, she’d probably sleep through it. Choosing casualties is all a matter of survival. I did grab my computer though because it’s my one worldly possession that I can’t live without and ran outside, only to find it was the building down the street that is next to a gas station that I am still waiting to hear explode and now they’ve routed all mainstreet traffic up my street so outside my window is a fucking freeway.

I guess the point of my story is that I am a hero even when the fire is down the street and I handled the situation in a way that only a hero could. I am pretty annoyed of the smell so I’ve turned to the internet to distract me.

I found some nipslip picture that I am only posting this because it’s been a long fucking time since I’ve seen a solid nipslip and even when I have never heard of the celebrity because she is foreign and old it’s still worthy to me. Her name is Ornella Muti and I don’t know when these pics are from…and I realize she’s not the hottest chick out there, but nipple is fucking nipple, stop complaining….

Posted in:Nipple Slip|Ornella Muti|Unsorted

2007

11

May

I am – Nicky Hilton’s Ass in Spandex of the Day

52 Comments »

There are reasons I would love to go to the gym to work out and those reasons are pretty fucking simple. Girls get dressed in spandex because I assume it makes them run faster on the treadmill while all the fucking meathead dudes lift weights behind them. I knew a guy who would get on a machine that was in front of the mat’s where the chicks would do their ass exercises or squats or some shit and dude would just park himself on that thing all day. He’d always brag to us how amazing a healthy life was because of the amount of hot ass he saw, but none of us ever listened. I just put on my shorts because summer is here, and they don’t fucking fit me anymore, like I grew out of them our some shit and they have an elastic waistband, making me have dreams that I actually cared enough to do something about it at a gym where hot bitches squat of me all day. Maybe it will happen one day….

That day seems to already have come for Nicky Hilton, I guess in preperation of her sister being in jail, Nicky’s decided to take her place as the party slut in the public eye, like the runner up at a beauty contest, only this beauty contest isn’t for pretty people, it’s for Hiltons….or maybe now that Paris is too pre-occupied going to jail, she hasn’t been able to distract Nicky from getting to the gym and being the hotter sister, like she has the last 8 years by convincing her to eat donuts instead of doing crunches…That’s just Paris’ way…

Posted in:Ass|Nicky Hilton|Spandex|Unsorted

2007

11

May

I am – Nicky Hilton's Ass in Spandex of the Day

No Comments »

There are reasons I would love to go to the gym to work out and those reasons are pretty fucking simple. Girls get dressed in spandex because I assume it makes them run faster on the treadmill while all the fucking meathead dudes lift weights behind them. I knew a guy who would get on a machine that was in front of the mat’s where the chicks would do their ass exercises or squats or some shit and dude would just park himself on that thing all day. He’d always brag to us how amazing a healthy life was because of the amount of hot ass he saw, but none of us ever listened. I just put on my shorts because summer is here, and they don’t fucking fit me anymore, like I grew out of them our some shit and they have an elastic waistband, making me have dreams that I actually cared enough to do something about it at a gym where hot bitches squat of me all day. Maybe it will happen one day….

That day seems to already have come for Nicky Hilton, I guess in preperation of her sister being in jail, Nicky’s decided to take her place as the party slut in the public eye, like the runner up at a beauty contest, only this beauty contest isn’t for pretty people, it’s for Hiltons….or maybe now that Paris is too pre-occupied going to jail, she hasn’t been able to distract Nicky from getting to the gym and being the hotter sister, like she has the last 8 years by convincing her to eat donuts instead of doing crunches…That’s just Paris’ way…

Posted in:Ass|Nicky Hilton|Spandex|Unsorted

2007

11

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

45 Comments »

I went to the strippers tonight, because that’s what I do, and because a friend of mine had landed some money recently from some accident settlement from years ago that just came through. He hasn’t given us any real details on the accident, but I am pretty sure he was molested by his priest. Either way, dude took us out, he didn’t buy us lap dances because he’s not that generous. Nothing really happened that is worth talking about, there were girls in stupid outfits and lingerie who got naked and ignored our harassment and avoided our group because we all look like fucking hurtbags. It was pretty standard and I am drunk and I know that’s not really surprising. I still found a way to do my links. That’s just how professional I am – motherfuckers…

Some Hot Girl Farts On Random People’s Faces on the Street
GO

Salma Hayek has Huge Milk Filled Tits
GO

Hot Angelina Jolie Commercial
GO

Fergie Working Out To Motivate all you Fat Fucks
GO

Jumpen is Some Dance That’s Big in the Netherlands…
GO

Cameron Diaz Watches Some Sex Show Cuz Her Biological Clock is Ticking…
GO

Jenny McCarthy Gives Sex Advice While Dressed Sexy
GO

Kate Moss Yoga Statue May Turn You On
GO

Lohan’s Belly Button Ring In Action
GO

Kate Middleton Panty Upskirt
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Former Miss Nevada Hospitalized for Partying
GO

Joanna Krupa Naked for PETA
GO

Maria Menounos Golfing Like a Slut
GO

Britney’s Back Up Dancer is Paid to Say She’s Hot
GO

Evangeline Lilly Hot on Kimmel Last Night
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Gemma Atkinson Takes Her Tits for a Swim Bikini Pics
GO

Funny Prank on some Jesus Loving’ Public Access Call in Show
GO

Some Cam Girl Let’s Us Know The Truth About Online Porn…if you care….
GO

Amateur Teen Dancing on Cam
GO

Photobucket Vagina
GO

LastNight’s Party Gets Some Chick to Walk Arond in Her Bra and Underwear
GO

Jack Osborne Does CobraSnake Party Cuz He’s a Cunt
GO

Some Chick Named Codi Milo Naked and Posing
GO

61 Year Old Phone Sex Operator
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Really Fucking Hot Photobucket Chick
GO

Gang of Monkeys Initiate a Member in the Bathroom
GO

Miss July Wins Playmat of the Year Video
GO

Dane Cook Sucks and These People Know It and Prove It…
GO

Funny Pornstar Fight….Cuz Porn Chicks are Knows for being Stable
GO

Some Guy Confronts His Crazy Girlfriend and the Guy She Cheated With
GO

Melanie Griffith Lookin’ Fucking Haggard in the Knees
GO

Best Air Sex Video of All Time
GO

Teen Pimped Herself at her Mom’s at Home Daycare
GO

Real Life Swingers in their 60s in Action
GO

Some Hot Sluts in this Music Video
GO

One of those Caption This Moments I Hate, But Laughed At
GO

Rachel Bilson Out With Her Homo Boyfriend From Star Wars in Shorts
GO

Some Chick Named Melanie Slade in Picture
GO

Amandah Berkowski Sends in Another Piece of Shit Video of Her Trying to Be Sexy While Singing Her Shitty Songs Badly…
GO

Melina Sarchese Argentine Playmate Posing….
GO

Girl Doesn’t Like The Taste of This Dude (NSFW)
GO

No Sex For Eva Longoria
GO

Hot Chick Taking a Bath
GO

Some Dude’s Hairy Wife
GO

Hot Adriana Lima Video
GO

Kate Moss Saved Lilly Allen’s Life…Unfortunately…
GO

Some Photobucket Chick I think is Fake
GO

You are Virgin, Or You Are In a Sex Slump. Girls Sense That And Don’t Like Guys Who Don’t Get Pussy – This Will Help
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

10

May

I am – Day Dreamin’ of a Fat Chick Making Out With a Skinny Dude of the Day

110 Comments »

It is hot outside and I am uninspired. It’s pretty much the story of my life. Part of me wants to update the site 50 times a day like a psycho blogger, but I don’t have that kind of creativity. I don’t have that many stories and I don’t have that much interesting to say. I think that’s probably why I will never be a famous blogger. I am okay with that because looking outside my window is all I really need. The girls are out in little clothes makes life good. I just ignore my wife and her obesity, my impotency and poverty and enjoy…

Speaking of fat chicks, I never understood is that it always seems like awkwardly skinny dudes always end up with fat fuckin’ girls. I am talkin’ really fuckin fat girls who normal guys don’t think have pussies and I just don’t get it, but it fascinates me. I assume that it is because fat on fat doesn’t work because genitals get hard to reach and skinny on skinny is too much bone on bone pain…but on hot days when i have nothing much to say, I slip into a day dream of watching a huge chick make out with her skinny boyfriend even if the footage is really shitty and doesn’t really show how fat the chick is and how skinny the dude is and how magical their public make out must be….

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted