I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

01

May

I am – Jessica Biel Makes Sex Faces of the Day

jessica_biel_sex_face_top.jpg

I guess this is a total fucking stretch, but since I am a fucking pervert, I have no problem taking pictures of girls leaving events and turning them into porn, I’d say it was a talent, but I think it may actually be a bit of a disorder.

After actually cropping the pictures like a migrant worker, which is pretty much what I am, I realized that she isn’t even really making sex faces, she just looks better than usually because she isn’t flexing. I really have no problem with a toned body, I actually find that shit hot because a girl who takes care of her abs and hits the gym on the regular, usually maintains her stinky parts so that they don’t stink.

I have a friend at the park who is completely obsessed with girls who have stinky poons. He thinks that shit is sexy, like it’s how a girl is supposed to smell. He’s dated girls and made them not shower for weeks at a time to get the stink that really drives him crazy. I was pretty disgusted by it because despite not showering myself, I got issues with other people stinking especially when that other person is who I am banging, but reality is that I guess we are animals and we probably didn’t shower when we lived in caves and maybe the stinkiest cunt was actually the most desirable one because we could sniff that shit out from a mile away and knock the bitch up, knowing she was the whore monkey who wanted babies.

I guess that isn’t really the point of this post, the post is the Jessica Biel is probably drunk and since every girl I ever got with was fucked up one way or another, maybe those glazed eyes and greasy face are what I equate to a good fucking time….



Related Forum Post:

Do You Like Stinky Stink Box
GO

Related Posts

I am – Jessica Biel In Her Underwear

I am – Jessica Biel’s See Through Shirt

I am – Jessica Biel Likes to Eat

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Sex|Unsorted

2007

01

May

I am – Taryn Manning Poolside of the Day

taryn_manning_poolside20.jpg

You know what makes me happy….seeing a celebrity bitch who looks like every crackwhore I’ve ever fucked. I’m talking about the cold sore, ratty prison tattoos, a busted up face that looks like it’s been cum on at least a dozen times a day the last 4 years while smoking crack and drinking heavily, a body that looks like it hasn’t been fed in the last 2 weeks, but for some reason the skin still hangs off and roles like a fat whore who likes to eat donuts and a cunt that looks bigger than my dick which isn’t saying much but I am still a dude and girls shouldn’t pack that much meat, unless they work at the grocery store. She’s too broke to afford a fucking bathing suit but since bitch is crafty she stole a pair of her last clients underwear, knowing that a day at the pool was coming up. I guess the real highlight of these pictures is that the dude she’s fucking is splashing pool water all playful and shit, pretending he’s not trying to wash/disinfect/and get rid of the smell that burns his tongue when he goes down on her.

Here is Taryn Manning at the pool, she’s just an ordinary girl like you and me…except I am not a girl and you just wish you were but can’t afford the operation, hurtbag. The other difference is that she hangs out with fat chicks and I married one so being seen with one in public just isn’t how I am living….I just sleep with them…


Related Forum Post

Describe the nastiest girl/guy you’ve ever fucked
GO

Related Links

I am – Taryn Manning Bra of the Day
Taryn Manng See Thru Bra

I am – Who the Fuck is This
Taryn Manning Drunk and Beat Up

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Taryn Manning|Underwear|Unsorted

2007

30

Apr

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

steplinks1012.jpg

I started a forum because that’s what someone told me to do and I always do what I am told. That someone also went to the trouble of setting it up and making all the forums for me. I expect all you fuckers to sign-up and participate because it took him a lot of time. You can access the forum by clicking the top left button, or you can bookmark this URL….DrunkenStepfather.com/Forum. I can only assume no one is going to use it, but at least it’s there.

Now here are my links:

Joss Stone on Upskirt Shots
GO

Pete Wentz Who Bangs Ashlee Simpson Teaches Us How To Put on Eyeliner Cuz He’s a ‘Mo
GO

America’s Next Hot Porn Star is on the Search, Maybe You Have What it Takes
GO

Jessica Simpson’s Insane Huge Tits
GO

Some Fat Slut Shows Us What’s Under Her Kilt
GO

Kathy Griffin Falls Out of Her Car and It’s Funny
GO

Foot Fetish Pictures for You To Jerk Off To
GO

Maria Menounos Gets Tickled by Howard Stern
GO

Bree Conden is the World’s Hottest Surfer
GO

Scarlett Johansson Performs at Coachella
GO

Amy Winehouse and Kelly Osbourne at Coachella
GO

Carrie Underwood Loves Coke
GO

Hawking Does Zero Gravity Cuz He’s a Genius
GO

Best Street Soccer Freestyler Ever
GO

Rikki Lake is Alive
GO

Heidi Klum Eats McDonalds
GO

The 17 year old from Whale Rider has her Baby and I love Teenage Pregnancy
GO

Anna Nicole Smith’s Movie Death Scene Exclusive
GO

Pete Doherty Goes Back to Rehab Cuz He’s Awesome
GO

Paula Abdul is Insane on the Home Shopping Channel
GO

Sarah Michelle Gellar is Under 100 Pounds. Fat Slut.
GO

Some Chick Burping and it Makes Me Fucking Gag
GO

Bruce Willis Drunk at the NBA Playoff Game
GO

Turkish Cam Girl Doing a Belly Dance
GO

Evan Mendes Nip Slip
GO

Gwen Stefani Suckin’ Dick in LA Concert and By Dick I Mean I hate her
GO

Some Slut Named Dani
GO

Gemma Atkinson Photoshoot Video
GO

2 Punk Kids Fighting
GO

Some Weird Karate Commercial
GO

Napalm on the Farm
GO

Jessica Biel Sex Scene from a Movie I never Saw
GO

Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace Panty Upskirt
GO

American Idol Finalist Gets Arrested for Being an Insane Slut
GO

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden Go To The Zoo in Australia To Enlist Richie as One of the Monkeys
GO

Weirdest Party Outfit of All Time
GO

Donald Duck Reenacts Alec Baldwin’s Call To His Daughter and It is Fucking Weird
GO

Really Fat Asses on YouTube
GO

Some Huge Tit Girl Named Bianca Beauchamp Oiled Up
GO

Masuimi Max Full Nudity on Youtube
GO

Masuimi Max Eating Bananas on Youtube
GO

I don’t Understand These Pics
GO

Denise Richards in a Bikini for Instyle Mag
GO

Kirsten Dunst Has Fucked Up Teeth
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

The Voice of Pikachu Live Because You Know You Used To Jerk Off To This Shit
GO

Men Wear Ladies Shoes to Show They Care About Violence Towards Women, You Wear Ladies Shoes Cuz They Make You Feel Sexy
GO

Joe Francis Does Prison Guys Gone Wild Video
GO

Nicky Hilton Maxim Photoshoot
GO

Some Slut Named Rosa Blasi Who Likes to Talk About Vagina is Posing All Tied Up
GO

This Girl is the Human Urinal – It’s Fucking Disgusting – Don’t Click It
GO

Some Guy Jerking Off onto a Pic of his Ex Girlfriend Because He’s Creepy
GO

Another Guy Who Jerks Off On Girls Pics Has a Myspace Profile
GO

Another Guy Has a Celebrity Blog of Pics of Celebs He Jerks Off On
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Kimmy Stewart and Courtney Love at Coachella
GO

Some Girl Gets Her Nipple Pierced By A Fag
GO

Something About Pictures of Hot Asian Women
GO

Some Nell McAndrew Bikini Pics
GO

Something About Hot Chicks and Cars For Adidas Event
GO

Kim Kardashian Dropped Her Charges Against Vivid and the Sex Tape is Legal – So Look At This Screen Cap of her Cunt
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Jaime Pressly Naked Swimming
GO

Buy this Spray, Get Laid, Send Me Pics
GO

Register to the Forum – Become a Member
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

30

Apr

I am – Day Dreamin’ of a Yellow Helmet Garbage Picker of the Day

So I once had a cellular phone and I felt pretty prestigious because I never really had those kinds of luxuries in life but last year a neighbor gave me a Razr that he probably stole that happened to be activated and I never got a bill or had to pay a bill or any of that shit, it was just going to him. I think he had family that worked for the company or some shit, but that’s not the point. The point is that the screen blew up today and now I can’t call my favorite celebrities or text message them or any of that shit I was able to do yesterday because the motherfucker won’t turn on.

So when I get stressed out and don’t know what to do to solve the shitty problems I get myself into, I like to drift into a day dream. Today I was day dreaming about some war vet in some weird Vietnam yellow helmet action to keep his hair dry while he picked through garbage trying to make a decent living….Here is that day dream….If you have cell phones send them to me.

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

30

Apr

I am – Day Dreamin' of a Yellow Helmet Garbage Picker of the Day

So I once had a cellular phone and I felt pretty prestigious because I never really had those kinds of luxuries in life but last year a neighbor gave me a Razr that he probably stole that happened to be activated and I never got a bill or had to pay a bill or any of that shit, it was just going to him. I think he had family that worked for the company or some shit, but that’s not the point. The point is that the screen blew up today and now I can’t call my favorite celebrities or text message them or any of that shit I was able to do yesterday because the motherfucker won’t turn on.

So when I get stressed out and don’t know what to do to solve the shitty problems I get myself into, I like to drift into a day dream. Today I was day dreaming about some war vet in some weird Vietnam yellow helmet action to keep his hair dry while he picked through garbage trying to make a decent living….Here is that day dream….If you have cell phones send them to me.

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

30

Apr

I am – Britney Spears Ass Crack or Something of the Day

britney_spears_ass_crack.jpg

Britney is pushing this comeback harder than she pushed her kids out of her womb, which isn’t saying much because she got 2 C-Sections, but you know what I mean. She’s calling the media and letting them know where she’ll be, she’s going to some dance studio trying to be all like Stella and trying to get her grove back and she’s doing in in fishnets, booty shorts, and a bra. I am not really complaining because she looks like most strippers I watch strip and I have a thing for watching strippers strip, even though the whole strip club scene is pretty dull to me. I am not saying that I don’t like watching girls get naked, but when I start talking to them and have to hear stories of how some of their clients take them out on dates and buy them expensive thing, or how they spent the last 4 nights high on E in some lavish hotel room with those clients, I am reminded that they are all a bunch of whores. I like going into the shit thinking they are just teenage mother’s who have deadbeat baby daddies, or that they are exhibitionists who get turned on by dancing for a room full of men, or that they are in med school trying to pay their way, when the reality of it is that they are just whores who like Gucci.

The only real reason that pisses me off is because the strippers I see in action aren’t even that hot. They have tits that anyone with a credit card could have, but walk around like they are fucking Britney Spears and are doing me some kind of favor by offering to let me touch their tits for 10 fucking dollars. Don’t think I am going soft on you here, I am just encouraging you to no fall for their game and when you have enough money in your bank, ask them how much for a blowjob, because when you take stripping to prostitution, you’re pretty much a success in my mind, and I am really the only person you should want to impress. Send pics, asshole. Cuddles.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2007

30

Apr

I am – Kate Bowsworth Bikini Pictures of the Day

kate_bowsworth_bikini7.jpg

I am feeling pretty uninspired. I know that I went out this weekend and got drunk and had random shit happen to me, but the beauty of being drunk all the time is that my memory is fucking shit. I remember specifically being laughed at by two haggard chicks who were rollin’ with some old men who I automatically assumed were escorts, but think they were probably just barely 30 ugly chicks who were looking for husbands because they knew that they had limited time and their past experience proved getting cock to be hard. I am talking about the kind of girl who you bring home for a one night stand but bitch either tries to cut off the tip of the condom or takes the used condom out of the trash to try to shove back in them because of dreams of pregnancy make them do crazy things. I am not really sure if they were actually laughing at me, but it still made me mad enough to throw my piece of pizza that some weird Asian man gave me at them. In retrospect I would have rather eaten that fucker instead of wasting it on those cunts, but I guess my regrets aren’t as painful as the old married guys who they were with who probably stupidly decided to fuck them without a condom and cum inside them because they were drunk and it’s not every day that a girl you don’t know asks you to bust inside them.

Either way, here are pictures of Kate Bowsworth and her friend on the beach in bikinis being overly friendly, because bikinis are a lot more interesting than anything I have to say for myself. Cuddles.

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Bosworth|Unsorted

2007

30

Apr

I am – Victoria Beckham has Nipples of the Day

victoria_beckham_see_thru.jpg

You know a girl has pretty powerful nipples when the fuckers poke through some kind of undershirt bra and the beater. It’s some double layer nipple penetration shit that I’ve never really seen before, but I haven’t seen that much, I generally don’t leave my house and when I did used to get out, I never really focused much on their tits, I’d be too busy trying to sober up enough to get hard because I knew the pussy wouldn’t be patient enough to wait around too long since I only had an hour. When you’ve got time constraints you gotta go right down to business. I guess since I am married, I should have seen my wife in all kinds of compromising positions, including wet t-shirt and erect nipples, but her tits are so fucking floppy that her nipples kinda just blended into the background and looking for the nub would take me all night and is a task I am not really willing to attempt because I’d probably start dreaming of nights in prison when the dudes in the next cell used to fuck, only because that gay prison shit is hotter than sucking on a fat chick’s tit…..

Either way, Victoria Beckham saves the day with some hard nipples to remind me of what I could have had if I played my cards right, I am not talking about getting with her, but I am pretty sure there are plenty of needy girls with big nipples that I will never meet out there for me….

Posted in:See Thru|Unsorted|Victoria Beckham

2007

30

Apr

I am – Alyson Hannigan in a Bikini Again of the Day

alyson_hannigan_bikini.jpg

Alyson Hannigan really likes to rub in the fact that ugly bitches can make it in life. She’s all like look at me, I am on the beach somewhere because I made so much money being a useless celebrity no one jerked off to because they cast me as the ugly chick no one wanted to fuck. She’s all like even though people didn’t want to fuck me, I still got cock and convinced some asshole to think he loves me because I distracted him with luxury living and nice trips to the beach as long as he pretends to love me.

I know that girls are generally the ones who go for the ugly guys who have shit going for them, whether it’s the nice house, nice car or expensive shopping days, but Alyson Hannigan is breaking down gender stereotypes by flipping shit around on us.

I remember when I used to try to have sex with chicks, showing them a 100 dollar bill was pretty much enough to get them home with me for an hour, but those girls were also working the streets like whores, because they were whores, but I still think I had my taste of what fame and fortune brings you and I fucking loved it.

Posted in:Alyson Hannigan|Bikini|Unsorted

2007

30

Apr

I am – Pink Likes to Fly of the Day

pink_flying_lingerie9.jpg

I never found Pink even remotely hot. Everyone always busts Fergie’s balls for being a tranny, without taking the time to acknowledge the fact that Pink actually has a set of balls.

She may not realize how much of a fucking bull dyke she is but at least she realizes that she’s a fucking clown and is doing something about it by doing some theatrical shit that you’d only see in the circus. Even when bitch is publicly on a sex swing in bootyshorts spinning around in ways you’d only wish your girl would spin around for you, she still looks like my friend Tom and there’s really nothing hot about Tom, except for maybe his handlebar mustache, but I only think that’s hot because despite being 35, I never got a full enough beard to grow one of my own.

Posted in:Pink|Unsorted