I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

29

Aug

I am – Making That Girl Famous of the Day

905693347_l.jpg

I use myspace as a place for me to warm up and get inspiration for content. Sometimes I send people really stupid/bad/not funny myspace messages to see what their reaction is. It helps me refine the garbage you read here daily. This girl despite looking 7 is actually 22 and she’s never heard of the site before, so I decided to do a post on her, so that she’ll never forget us and by us I mean me.

This is one of the weaker messages that I randomly sent her:

remember our first kiss?

I am sure you don’t

I got you nice and date raped up

Only I never took you on a date…

Read my site…it’s pretty famous.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

This was her response:

its famous?

really? cause ive never heard of it or you.

except for that youre a creep.

I am not going to go into how bitch’s answer made no fucking sense at all, but I am going to ask all of you to send her myspace messages of love letting her know that this site does exist and creep or not, so do I.

This is a link to her Myspace GO

I think that warrants a “I just made you famous, Bitch!”

Posted in:stepFAME|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

29

Aug

I am – Heidi Klum Does All The Work While Seal Watches of the Day

Untitled-11.jpg

Seal was photographed watching Heidi Klum, who is already knocked up with his second baby, load the stroller in the car. I guess dude’s got the biggest fucking dick or something because he’s already knocked her up 2 times in the last year and he’s making her work her pregnant ass of while taking care of their first baby’s needs. I know she’s German, and German’s are pretty fucking intense when it comes to work ethic and regimented discipline, proven by the Nazis in the ’30s, but this isn’t a fucking history lesson. This is a lesson in knowing how to fuck your bitch right and never having to pick up a finger. It is also a lesson that babies are a lot of work, work a black man may not be willing to undertake. Heidi Klum is Way Hardcore. Motherfuckers.


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

29

Aug

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less of the Day

DYVOTD.jpg

I am happy to announce that I have a female reader and that female reader submitted a Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less. Now, I am not going to pretend that this has been the best submission to date just because I am excited by it. I am not going to pretend that I think drawing a cat’s head in between your legs is really all that original or funny, but it’s like one of those situations where you want something so bad. Like that time the 300 pound retarded girl who happened to be having a birthday party at the bar you were at starts giving you the eye, or at least you think it’s the eye, really she’s just got some kind of disability, but she’s got to be pretty high functioning retard considering she’s out in a bar and her handler seems to be fucking wasted, making this experience that much easier to pull off, so you take her to the coat check room and show her what that thing between her legs is really for. I am going to stop writing now. Okay.

For More DYVADIN10WOLOTD GO

Posted in:stepBOX|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

29

Aug

I am – Nicky Hilton’s Fat Uterus of the Day

NickyHiltonTOP.jpg

I had a lot of random dreams last night, I normally don’t have dreams and if I do, I never talk about them because listening to someone go into details about their dreams is probably one of the most annoying things a person can do. It takes a real self-absorbed cunt to think people actually care about what they dreamt about, but since it’s my site, I can write about whatever I want, even when it’s self absorbed. The first dream was about me riding in a taxi that was being driven by my doctor, I ended up at a ski hill in my underwear. I went inside because of the cold was pissing me off and sat on a couch, when I stood up I saw that I left a red wine stain that came out of my ass. When I looked for my taxi driver doctor to ask why red wine colored shit was coming out of my ass, he was gone. Dream number 2 took place at a family BBQ where I bumped into Christina Aguilera. She fell in love with me and I never found out why she was at my BBQ, but she was fucking annoying. The last dream was the best, it was of me watching an infomercial selling mortgages or insurrance but the twist was that they were using ChildSuperModels (a site I saw on OPRAH and took out the link to because you were all calling me a child porn peddler) to sell something boring.

Speaking of boring, here are some pics of Nicky Hilton’s Gunt, Bubble Cunt, Ponch, Muff Gut, Fat Uterus, or whatever the fuck you want to call it. You know it’s always sexy on a girl in her early 20s, it means she’s either knocked up or bitch is on a one way trip to looking like a Wal Mart cashier. I am not even going to bring up her weak chin, because I am a nice guy. Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

29

Aug

I am – Nicky Hilton's Fat Uterus of the Day

NickyHiltonTOP.jpg

I had a lot of random dreams last night, I normally don’t have dreams and if I do, I never talk about them because listening to someone go into details about their dreams is probably one of the most annoying things a person can do. It takes a real self-absorbed cunt to think people actually care about what they dreamt about, but since it’s my site, I can write about whatever I want, even when it’s self absorbed. The first dream was about me riding in a taxi that was being driven by my doctor, I ended up at a ski hill in my underwear. I went inside because of the cold was pissing me off and sat on a couch, when I stood up I saw that I left a red wine stain that came out of my ass. When I looked for my taxi driver doctor to ask why red wine colored shit was coming out of my ass, he was gone. Dream number 2 took place at a family BBQ where I bumped into Christina Aguilera. She fell in love with me and I never found out why she was at my BBQ, but she was fucking annoying. The last dream was the best, it was of me watching an infomercial selling mortgages or insurrance but the twist was that they were using ChildSuperModels (a site I saw on OPRAH and took out the link to because you were all calling me a child porn peddler) to sell something boring.

Speaking of boring, here are some pics of Nicky Hilton’s Gunt, Bubble Cunt, Ponch, Muff Gut, Fat Uterus, or whatever the fuck you want to call it. You know it’s always sexy on a girl in her early 20s, it means she’s either knocked up or bitch is on a one way trip to looking like a Wal Mart cashier. I am not even going to bring up her weak chin, because I am a nice guy. Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

29

Aug

I am – The Olsen Twins in Canada of the Day

OlsenTwinsCanada005.jpg
I used to hate these cunts. I used to get annoyed when the media started saying that they were hot. I got more annoyed when the masses of people who listen to what the media say followed their lead and started saying they were hot too. We were stuck with a society of people who thought 2 ugly bitches were hot all because some asshole fucked up in the editing room somewhere 2 years earlier. Either way, it reminded me of when I was in grade 7 and all the dudes I hung out with were into this girl who had grade 9 titties but looked like a fucking alien. I am talking a real fucking alien, with no chin, repressed eyes and horse hair. Bitch was built like a dude and probably weighed in 10 lbs more than I did. But being the 13 year old immigrant new to the school and unsure of myself or the english language, I went along with this shit. I used to obsess over this nasty bitch with the dudes in my class and thanks to all of us, this acne scab of a girl had a false sense of beauty. Now I don’t know where this thing is today, but I do know that it must have been a horrible reality check when she found out that she was a bloody shit stain on sexy later in life. I am a firm believer that ugly people need to know they are ugly to prepare themselves for the horrible society we live in. I am on a mission to let ugly people who think they are hot know the truth for the better of all people.

That said, I think the Olsen twins look fucking hot. I want to get both of them pregnant with my mouth at the same time. I want to be in on spending their hundreds of millions of dollars on luxurious things like new jogging pants and a new liver, I want to help encourage their drug addiction and eating disorders, but only after I am made beneficiary in their will. That’s the story I heard.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

29

Aug

I am – FilthyWhore from YouTube of the Day

04-0232157900L.jpg

This bitch is a YouTube celebrity, which isn’t saying much but when mainstream media come looking for the next big thing, I am sure that they will end up on the most viewed youtube videos, because mainstream media is perceptive like that. They’ll sign her up and give her a book deal without even watching the garbage bitch produces. So I am hoping that this bitch never gets signed onto anything but maybe the sexual predators list, because let’s face it, there aren’t enough female sexual predators floating around. Her videos have had 250,000 views, about 245,000 more views that any of my stepTV Shit, another clear cut reason why I should quit what I do. However, I was going to write this post to one of her famous YouTube Videos, but I couldn’t go through with it because the bitch’s videos are that fucking bad. Instead, I leave you with a naked picture of her. I figured looking at body that would is to erections, what 3 week old kitchen garbage is to appetite. Either way, I like to think you are already sad enough and watching some fat emo gothic bitch telling stories no one cares about, would put you over the edge.

I know nothing about this cunt because I am not an investigative journalist, but I did find out that she used to take naked pics for money. I found a few message board posts of her saying that she needed money to pay her vet bills and her rent and that she was willing to take pics for money. I am guessing that these are some of the pics she took. I generally only like bitches who get naked for false promises of fame but I every hole is a goal. Cuddles.

Here is a Link to her Hardcore/ Cock Action Pics Go
Here is a Link To Her Youtube Videos That Depress Me GO

Posted in:stepFAME|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

28

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

Picture-41.jpg

I was talking to a whore on AIM today and she was telling me that the morning after pill is called E.C. She thought it was funny that it was called E.C. because it was like “you easy whore u got nut inside of you, now here take this E.C. pill.” I think they called it E.C. like easy, because it’s easier than a life of headaches if you decide to have the baby, and a lot less emotionally draining than having an abortion. It seems like every girl I know who has had an abortion, gets a little fucked in the head. They usually only go through with it once and decide to either never have sex again or to use the pill as a precautionary measure. It doesn’t really matter, but what does matter is that I have some links for you to check out. I am good to you like that. Send in any links you find because I am running out of good ones.


A List of Ethnic Slurs and a Whole Lot More from Answer.com, Helping Us All Be Better Racists One Question at a Time. My Favorite is an Alabama Blue Gums and that’s just in the “A’s”
GO

Myspace Picture of the Day GO

stepSong of the Day is The Raconteurs – Together. This is their Myspace Because I couldn’t Find a Way to Link the mp3, and the song’s not even in their myspace player, but check them out… GO

Another Myspace Picture of the Day GO

Last Night’s Party Goes to the UK and Gets Ugly Girls To Talk About Nothing in their Bras GO

Last Night’s Party Goes to the UK and Gets Ugly Hipsters to Pose in their Underwear and Flash Their Tits GO

Big Brother Girl Shows off and Talks About Her Tits. Sexy Lady. I like Flow.
GO

Emmy Award Nip Slip and Other Emmy Pics of Cleavage and Dresses and Celebrites and Such GO

Pussycat Dolls Have A New Video Called I Don’t Need a Man
GO

Vanessa Minillo Quote of the Day
GO

A Study on Masturbation Says:
GO

Out on the Town with Dave Navarro GO

2 Live Crew’s Pop That Video GO

Who the fuck is Maggie Grace and Why is She Rockin’ Such a Stupid Hat….
GO

Hipster Magazine Anthem blogs about some Movie Called Wicker Man but Can’t Link to a Picture Set of Tits Without a NSFW warning. They are obviously fucking PUSSIES and NOT HIP AT ALL!! Send them Hate Mail.
GO

Worshipping God Through Dance, But Not the Kind of Dance I like….
GO

This is one of the Weirdest Fucking Photo Gallery I Have Ever Seen – It is Burning Man Back in 2001
GO

“Jesus, Check your site everyday and love your posts. I thought I’d pass along a video I did I thought you might enjoy it’s Cindy Brady on acid. It’s called A Very Brady LSD Special.”
GO

Future Playboy Olympians Whatever the Fuck That Means….
GO

I like Rickster’s Response, Dude Seems Like a Penis Enlargement Expert, I wonder Why…
GO

Some Girl Posing On The Couch All Slutty Like….
GO

Some Celebrity Bloggers are Gay and Have Mouth Herpes on MTV, Others, like me, are Hacks and Perez Hilton seems to be Both.
GO

Annoying Girls Who Deserve to Get Raped By Horny Lohan Wanker:
1
GO
2
GO
3
GO
4
GO
5
GO
6
GO

Ashlee Simpson’s Career Highlight Was Being Booked at the Dupage County Fair on July 26th Video
GO

Bai Ling Nip Slip at the Emmies, Not a Big Surprise Considering Her Nipples are Always Exposed GO

Weird Lil Kim Photoshoot GO

3 Free DVDs from a Hot New Men’s Magazine GO

There was a time when people would send me in pictures of girls they banged for my pheromone challenge…. GO

There was a time when girls would draw their vagina and describe it in 10 words or Less GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

28

Aug

I am – Fergie Eats Lunch and Buys Meth of the Day

FergieFatty000.jpg

Some girl on Myspace just told me that her box was mangled because she had been raped and cut. I am all for making inappropriate jokes, but I am really not comfortable with bitches who joke about being raped, especially raped by a knife, because it’s fucking gross. I definitely don’t ever support rape unless it’s statuatory, but that’s only rape according to the girl’s parents and the law and it usually doesn’t invovle anyone being left to die in an alley with their pants around their ankles. Speaking of inappropriate jokes, here’s some pics of Fergie, who’s life reminds me of a rape.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

28

Aug

I am – Nicole Richie is Way Hardcore of the Day

I have a thing for bitches who look like Jon Benet Ramsey, I wear mis-matched socks and dirty jogging pants. I love hanging with my stepdaughter and her 16 year old girl friends, I can’t get erections so I am never going to get charged as a sexual predator, I may get in trouble for trying to convince them to take showers together for me, but that has yet to be seen. I get sick more often than an African Aids baby and I don’t have African Aids according to my doctor. Speaking of Africa, I was dissed by a couple black dudes this weekend when I was at the gas station buying cigarettes and beer for my stepdaughter. We were in line behind these 2 “Alabama Blue Gums” who were dressed like they just stepped out of a low budget rap music video, meaning they were trying to look like ballers but drove a ’92 Honda Civic hatchback. Either way, I’m in line with my girl and dude starts checking her out, he reaches out for the condom rack and I picka up a box of Magnums to look like a star, totally predictable. I laughed to myself and when my girl asks me if her hair looks good I say “it’s way hardcore”…so as these dudes walk out of the store they look at my girl and say “yooooo I’m way hardcore” and start laughing and slappin each other on the back like they just won the NBA Championships or an intense game of dominos in the alley behind the projects they grew up in. Speaking of “Alabama Blue Gums”, here are some pics of Nicole Richie and her boyfriend, se was raised by a very weird man who adopts other people’s kids…with more money than all of us combined but no matter how white they try to be or how much money they have, they’ll always be of African decent.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted