DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

20

Dec

Sydney Sweeney Thong of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is arguably the most important young actress created by the industry because she didn’t exist before she got famous, one of those made in a LAB under Hollywood situations, with some backstory of “sure she’s from the Pacific North West, Homeschooled by teacher parents, who just had a dream of acting that came true as those dreams do for ALL people….”

RIGHT…

Who cares about why she’s here, let’s just assume that big tits are just that powerful, because they are, and really only need to be put out in front of a handful of powerful people, to make all her dreams come true…even ours..since we like lookin at the big tits..

This is not the young MINX…the BETA KITTEN…the seductress with the ceiling eyes showing off her tits nearly like we want her to…maybe that WOKE modern O.C. called EUPHORIA where they portray the teens of the world as fucking weird pornstars..but thy show her tits in the process…so progressive…for those of us into SWEENEY tits…I will not be watching that show this year because I already HATE everything about it except her tits…

This is the young MINX…the BETA KITTEN…the seductress with the ceiling eyes in a sheer dress showing panty the way you’d want a bitch to dress when going to restaurants MASKLESS…how dare she…THE IRRESPONSIBILITY of these people in the middle of a PANDEMIC people are LOCKED down and going broke because of….and she’s out here wearing her mask as a pair of panties because it was a NO PANTIES no SERVICE kind of place….

AND I LIKE IT…but would LIKE it better from other sluttier angles…maybe staging a “Dropped my phone” so she can crawl around some…or a “Forgot to do my yoga this morning, so let me put my legs behind my neck while sipping on this craft cocktail”….

There are so many good places this naughty outfit can go, but it went here….but the good news is we’re heading to a place where people won’t be wearing oppressive clothing anymore and will just exist spread asshole all day, during all errands, and I’ll be masturbating to it..

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Posted in:Sydney Sweeney

2021

20

Dec

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

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Despite being told that almost all the new CASES of OMICRON are in the vaccinated…and that it’s barely a cold or that serious…the storyline is that it’s fucking killer and the governments here have just gone into another gnarly ass lockdown that doesn’t really make that much sense…but when you’ve broke people down into being pussies scared shitless to leave the house…people are doing COVID tests before hanging with their friends…or meeting up with random willing vaccinated internet pussy…it’s pretty insane…but I guess it only takes 2 years to make everyone go nuts, when you’d assume in 2 years it would make people say GIVE ME THIS FUCKING VIRUS ALREADY AND LET ME SEE IF I DIE…they call it CHICKEN-POX-ING IT…

Anyway, they are anticipating some massive disaster, massive death, massive hospital overload, because maybe they know something I don’t know…and these HEALTHCARE heroes, who are still allowed to work, are going to step up and try to make money selling nudes as NATURE intended…

I don’t like hospitals, I think the healthcare industry is a scam, NURSES carry weird viruses I don’t really want to get when licking their asses, but I’ll look at pics of them being bad at work…why the fuck not…what do you think I am…some kind of psycho who doesn’t look at the nudes…I’m probably a psycho for OTHER things…but NOT NOT LOOKING AT NUDES!

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Posted in:NURSES

2021

20

Dec

Jordyn Jones Thong of the Day

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Jordyn Jones is doing what all young people are doing, getting half naked on the internet and making money…it’s like the underwear just keeps getting smaller and smaller, until there’s no need for underwear at all..

I mean if you got your start young, thanks to your mom selling you to the industry in the form of child reality show, and you build up that whole following being a lame ass child dancer, you can really only go two directions…TO THE FUCKING TOP…maybe hosting or being one of the dancers on DANCING WITH THE STARS…or maybe a back-up dancer for your favorite soulless shitty popstar…you know WORKING as a dancer…OR..you can sell nudes…and make actual money….while getting a cheap dopamine release of “look how naughty I am when I show the world my big dance ass…because they know she got fitness and THEY know she got the moves…all that rhythm’s gotta go somewhere, might as well imagine it on your MICRO dick..

The question is when do the panties, that are now dental floss style, turn into butt plugs, dildos and BLACK ON BLONDE cock….we call it the MAITLAND WARD…and she’s just living it out before our VERY eyes…

She’s hot bodied…and I guess hot across the board..in an inbred kind of way…KALAMAZOO michigan would do that to a person…especially when their parents are cousins.

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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2021

20

Dec

Eva Longoria Fitness Ass of the Day

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Here’s some Eva Longoria working out her ass on a trampoline like some kind of 5 year old because she doesn’t realize she’s old as shit, expired milk, or maybe since she’s Mexican, expired Horchata…fuck I love horchata..but I don’t love Eva Longoria or understand her fucking hype…but people are confused into liking her for whatever reason….I just see a first generation Mexican who looks like the kind of rich person who hires illegal Mexicans to do her LUSH rich person gardens because that’s how feeling like you made it works…YOU underpay desperate people to feel better about yourself..

That is not to say EVA LONGORIA has Mexican gardeners, or that they are illegals, or that she underpays them, it’s just to say she looks like she does…

I guess now that she’s lost a little bit of wait, maybe they’ve released another one of her clones, or it could just be some STEM CELL HGH medical tech to keep these bitches going into their grandma age…WHY BAKE COOKIES when you can SHOW people you fucking COOKIES…without SHOWING the cookies…because her COOKIES would likely be her cunt….

WHO knows.

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Posted in:Eva Longoria

2021

20

Dec

Milf Monday of the Day

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Slutty moms don’t need to really advertise themselves in NUDES, but I don’t mind when they do, because I like to see just how blown out vaginas can get after they’ve become a mom pussy…which is really what this is about, you know saying “I may have given up on my single, empty, career oriented, sleeping around with dudes life, but I can still get naked on the internet for people into moms, for their nurturing maternal instincts, doing what a woman is supposed to do with their vaginas, instead of that other making baby bullshit…

GET IT…I was saying WOMEN are supposed to be MOMS, but swooped in and replaced MOM with posting NUDES…because having babies seems so unnatural thanks to the propaganda pushed on my through feminism all these years….

SEX appeal always exists to perverts out there, so even when you think your sex appeal is done, over, forgotten…..there will always be a loser into it….

That’s not to say all these bitches are bad, as an old man, they’re all a decade younger than me, it’s just to say this is not VERY mom-like, at least not the mom’s I knew growing up….who repressed their sexual deviance…instead of smearing it on the internet for all to see…

POINT of the story…YUMMY MUMMY even when they’re not so YUMMY and more MUMMY, because sex appeal is a concept man, it’s a sliding scale, it’s an energy…

Here are those MILFS in action…

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Posted in:Milf

2021

20

Dec

Carmella Rose Bikini of the Day

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I don’t know about you, but I am going to assume that everytime someone jerks off to MEL WITH A ROSE on her social media feed thanks to her inappropriate, low key, pornstar who pretends she’s a model, look how smooth her pubic bone is, influencer….the song “KISSED BY A ROSE” circulates in their head, like it was Heidi Klum taking ALL of SEAL…as I’ve heard he’s got a 15 inch penis, hence the reason the GERMAN dominatrix underwear sex worker had so many kids…

“IF I CAN’T TASTE IT IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD WHEN YOU ARE FUCKING ME UP THE ASS LIKE THE BAD NAZI SOLDIER AT THE CONCENTRATION I AM – IT ISN”T REAL” she’d say….

Then she’d say….”guten morgen” efore breakfast sausages and SCHNITZEL….

You know, germans and their NAZI fetishes I’ll assume none of them have….because they pretend to be embarrassed by that shit.

Not that that has anything to do with MEL WITH A ROSE, but I don’t know anything about MEL with a ROSE, so we go with a HEIDI KLUM post instead.

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Posted in:Carmella Rose

2021

20

Dec

Bella Hadid Bondage Tits of the Day

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Bella Hadid is doing some Calvin Klein pornography because dude’s a fucking pervert and has been since the dawn of fucking time….the HEROIN chic creeper getting girls half naked in the 90s has taken a solid cue out of some weird homemade porn amateurs in their trailer park home, and decided to strap the bitch down with some belts because BDSM is so hot to fucking weirdos…

Yes, I am a BDSM shamer and think it’s only good for serial killers and fat chicks you are only fucking angrily because you can’t get any hotter pussy…

I don’t find the BELT outfit nearly edgy enough, this is dipping a toe into the BDSM world, kind of weak display really…if she’s not getting her head shoved in the toilet like BELLA DONNA (REMEMBER HER?), I don’t want it.
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In other pics you can see her decent sized tits, top model no one really understands why, but people just go along with it because why not..

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Posted in:Bella Hadid

2021

20

Dec

Milky Boobs Monday of the Day

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THEY ARE TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT DAIRY IS BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT…

Maybe they don’t mean this kind of dairy…

Is human milk considered dairy…

Is human milk the future of the all milk now that cow are bad for the envorionment.

They put bags over their asses to prevent the fart methane from KILLING the babies…

So eliminate the cows and milk the women..

Sign me up…I’ll help the pump….

THAT IS WHAT MY MOUTH is for.

Assuming you can’t die from the spike proteins in the breast milk from the vaccines…which I would never do because I don’t trust the science, I’m an idiot like that.