DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

10

May

Alessandra Ambrosio Bush on The Beach of the Day

BUSH IS BACK motherfuckers…

I mean, it’s never gone out of style for me and the only good thing about having 17 years of my stream of consciousness in the form of 60,000 random blog posts, is that I can go back 17 years and prove to you that I have and always have been a fan of the BUSH….

I have been on the “SAVE YOUR BUSH” Don’t SHAVE YOUR BUSH protest for as long as I’ve had the site, I’ve even wanted to organize publicity stunt protests outside waxing and laser salons to get my point heard, but I figure that’s too much effort and having the idea is often way more fun than executing the idea…since idiots won’t get the joke anyway…NOT THAT IT WAS a joke..

My key points to my BUSH THESIS I’ve been working on over the years, maybe it is my BUSH manifesto…is pretty simple…bush is natural and natural is hot…bush is customizable so you can personalize it to your own specifications…bush comes in all colors, lengths, level of curly…so the bush is like a CRACKJACK BOX SURPISE..when the panties slip off, if they slip off, because they probably won’t slip off for you…you’re creepy and they don’t want you to see the bush….if the bush is long enough…it is a panty pillow…you can nuzzle up on and be cozy in….and it’s just a nice way to protect the pussy before spreading the pussy…

THERE IS NOTHING better than bush…plus bald pussy is fucking creepy, like a chicken skin used for masturbation purposes, that within a day of being bald is riddled with ingrown hairs…looking like it had a bout with chicken pox…or herpes…something I’ve told every bald pussy I’ve met to grow out…it’s part of being an revolutionist…

So yeah…BUSH is everything, BUSH is now, finally the loser slow to the gate mainstream are onto my vision for humanity…my UTOPIA…one full of me seeing bush and it’s great…

This is Brazilian model Alessandra Amrbosio showing her bush, because she knows, it’s her profession, even if she’s retired from the VS kick, she’s still in the know.

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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2021

10

May

Jordyn Jones Hot Tub Ass of the Day

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Jordyn Jones exists because her mother sold her to the entertainment industry when she was a child, because that’s when broke ass white trash parents look at their kid and say “well, she’s cute enough to be sold now, let’s get this money”….it’s an ego thing, but for whatever reason stage parents are all fucking trash even when they come from money, because turning your kid into a commodity because YOU want some of that fame and fortune and figure why not get it at the expense of the kid, they’ll forgive you later when they don’t realize they’ve been sold off but instead just live that good life of a celebrity….you know money fixes everything…kind of thing…so get that money..

The truth is, in hindsight, I wish I was sold off to the entertainment industry as a kid, make your money and get out by 20, to work at a car dealership in your hometown forever rmemebered as that kid who did whatever it is you did to get famous….or die by 30…both options not so terrible when you think of how the other people, the normals who don’t sell their kids off live….or who aren’t kids who were sold off live..

Anyway, in keeping up with family traditions, Jordyn Jones continues to sell herself, or at least access to herself, with these “close friend” on instagram content pieces people pay to access and her body, that of a dancer, is great…I mean that’s an ass, it can move, and it knows how to fuck, thanks to knowing how to dance….if you’re going to pay to see some half naked “influencer” type…it might as well be one who can fuck…

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Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2021

10

May

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

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I’ve seen a few stories about how nurses are planning on leaving the industry and profession due to COVID stresses which is possibly designed to make you scared that the medical system will collapse with no more nurses…but that makes me think there will be a shit ton more nude nurses on the internet trying to get subscribers to their only fans…because the nurse as a fetish is at its all time high thanks to all the media attention and guilt put on the public regarding the whole nurse thing…which is the perfect timing for a nurse to do her own kind of emotionally triggering “GoFundMe”…without begging for money to help with their bills…but instead selling nudes and asking for tits with their subscribers because nurses are the sex workers of the healthcare system…they are just more obvious about it during this pandemic when they know they can’t get fired for taking nudes on the job…which is gross to me..there’s all kinds of viruses in hospital…we don’t need those pussies covered in antibiotic resistant anything….even if we’re just here looking at pics of them….

I guess the good news with all these VACCINE pushers is that when all is said and done, they’ll be leaving their uteruses wherever they fall out…allowing for unprotected creampie sex to the highest bidder…so long as you don’t mind anti-biotic resistant viruses from the hospital floor on your dick….maybe it’s just better to look at the pics…

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Posted in:NURSES

2021

10

May

Eva Longoria Swimsuit Erotica of the Day

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Eva Longoria has been the most overrated pile of shit celebrity in modern times according to me….which isn’t saying much because my opinion means nothing.

I remember drinking about 5 years ago maybe it was 10 years ago…who knows it was a long time ago and my brain is one big horrible blur….but that night, I met a handful of Europeans who were so hyped on Eva Longoria and it was long enough after Housewives for me to say “what the fuck are ya’ll talking about”….because who the fuck conversations about celebrities in their free time at a bar when there are strippers around to pay to touch their tits…

Anyway, it was then that I realized her marketing team have a broad reach, and that they really thought she was the biggest deal out there….and not one of them saw her as the self hating Mexican who you know only hires Mexican gardeners for her mansions, in order to really be as white as she can be, something I am sure stems back to her High School days in Mexico when she was ashamed of her parents who were first generation, you know immigrant self-hatred, it happens.

Now I can’t confirm that she has house staff that are Mexicans she only speaks english to, but I’d love to hear from some of her past workers to see how nice she was to them, cuz I look at her and see cunt…and not cuz she’s showing cunt, even though she could be, but because she’s not showing cunt, which would make me understand her international stardom….or at least not care that she has international stardom for no reason…because I’d be looking at her cunt…

She’s old, probably photoshopped, in a bikini, and this is exciting to people, even if it looks like she’s got a baby bump…..we know she’s too old for one of those again…

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Posted in:Eva Longoria

2021

10

May

January Jones Bathes of the Day

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January Jones is pretty irrelevant as far as I’m concerned…but I know she’s been a model and actress for two to three decades you know since her 20s and execs and the fans are excited by her tits…

I never found her to be anything special, but tits are good, even when they are old and barely being shown off to their full potential…acting like they are too good to be flashed to the world because she’s not the desperate even if she is basically that desperate….cuz who the fuck cares about January Jones…

I do not quite know what this ritual of putting what could be skin, likely baby skin or placenta on her face to try to stop the aging process now that she’s old as shit and has used her looks to get where she got….unless that’s made of SEMEN…I can’t tell…but if it is Semen I guess she learned her lesson after having that baby out of wedlock who she never identified the father of…but that people have assumed was a “TRAP” baby that exes do to lock motherfuckers in….or a “financial” baby that women make with rich people to lock in child support….and ultimately…who cares…

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Posted in:January Jones

2021

10

May

Kendall Jenner Ass in Leather Pants of the Day

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I am a firm believer that the Kardashians were sent from hell, or made a deal with a devil, maybe when Nicole Brown was sacrificed, that propelled them into the spotlight that for whatever reason, people bought into on the craziest fucking level, which makes no sense to me, but that is the state of the world we live in…

They are masterful digital marketers or marketers in general with what must be the best team in place to help make all their dreams come true…from sex tapes to TV shows to being the influencers that every other influencer wants to be…the avon lady that know they push crazy conversions on products so they can charge brands a fortune for collabs…pushing consumerism, making people buy shit they don’t need, all thanks to being under their spell…it’s weird…because a rational brain would say “why would I want to listen to these trash cans, clearly they are bullshit”….but no…people think they are gods….all through witchcraft or manipulation or just because people are dumb fucks who need to do what they are told…

I can’t tell you why they exist, I can tell you that their impact has been awful, but at least they are rich and relevant because of it, I mean that’s what it’s all about…right?

Anyway, Kendall, who may become the FIRST DAUGHTER of California if her dad makes it to Governor status, is the hottest of the bunch, so if we’re going to be immersed in Kardashian shit for the rest of our lives, like it seems we will be, we might as well give shine to the one that looks the best half naked….so here it is…

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Posted in:Uncategorized

2021

10

May

Julianne Hough Bad Mormon in a Bikini of the Day

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I often wonder if Julianne Hough was diddled by her brother, my theory is that if they are twins, they for sure fucked, but twins fucking isn’t considered incest, despite being incest, it’s just masturabtion…like masturbating in front of the mirror to your trans self…you know a whole level of narcissism…but yeah, I assume she’s damaged from the church since she’s gone onto be a porn star…I mean not an official porn star but you know someone treated like a pornstar by at least one powerful person in Hollywood…it’s always the people from CULTS or fundamentalist kind of religions like Mormonism…is fundamentalist the right word..I don’t know…I’m not a dictionary and English is my second language and I never graduated High School…but you know what I am saying…people who buy into the church at a young age…which is not to say that buying into GOD or JESUS or whatever the Mormon’s pray to, which I think may be Willard Marriott…or the Walmart corporation that hires all those Brigham Young grads because being a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is good training to be good at business, you missionaries spreading the world paves the way to door to door sales of vacuums or whatever else…and most importantly modest is the hottest…

UNLESS YOU ARE A DEFECTOR like Hough…who sold her soul to entertainment which must be freeing since entertainment industry people are fucking heathens..bikini wearing heathens…

No, I’m not a Mormon, yes, when I used social media Mormom Memes were my favorite memes….

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Posted in:Julianne Hough

2021

10

May

TikTok Video of the Day

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The Chinese spyware app has really managed to figure out how to rook American eyeballs into their social tracking way of life….all through AI that tracks your eyes, reads your face and emotions and decides what to show you next to keep you there as they read your texts, scan your photos, build a file on you for when they take over. The long game….

Then they’ve got the whole let content creators get scene, so many of these TikTok people would have never broke through on Youtube or Instagram because Zuckerberg only wants you to see the Kardashians or girls who look like Kardashians..with their faces all muppet..doing poses….while Youtube only wants you to see their biggest earners so they can make more ad money…so TikTok was like “come over here and be shown to millions of people, get those views up, it’s the dopamine release that keeps people producing…all hoping they’ll get famous like the Stevie Nicks Skateboarder homeless guy..

Anyway, this TikTok came across my “desk”…which is more a pair of soiled sweatpants that will definitely end in testicular cancer…and I thought…CHINA has us all figured out don’t they…smart people…just show slutty girls being slutty cuz all girls are slutty and keep us all happy….dumb and giving permission to be watched through our phones like a bunch of psychopaths..

Posted in:Videos

2021

10

May

Milf Monday of the Day

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Milf Monday…if your tinder friends with benefits is a mom…you know, if you’ve been shoving your dick inside a gaping mom pussy because women who don’t have kids date guys they see a future with…or guys that they want to fuck…while you’re just on the fringe of that….

Well, you may have had enough MILFs because the MILF you FUCK, is less one you want to fuck, but rather one you have to fuck cuz no one else will fuck you…..we call that a MIHF….not quite the same ring…sounds a bit like the sound that comes out of the mom pussy if you get her in the wrong position and fill her old, scarred uterus up with air…..MIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

But you probably didn’t get to fuck that friend with benefits this weekend, because it was Mother’s Day and not the weekend without the kids…even if it was supposed to be…you know visitation rights in custody settlements….

So you may not be all MILFed out but instead JONESING for MILF…so here are some of those CUMMED INSIDE AND KEPT IT IN THERE UNTIL FRUITION ladies doing slutty mom things cuz moms can be sluts even if no one wants to fuck them as the first option…men are perverts and will fuck anything…not to mention there are some MILFs who are hot…the baby shit secondary…but just don’t tell them because we need them feeling insecure and undateable because of the MOM thing…we’ve lost the fat girl with no standards thanks to media praising fatties…let’s not lose the insecure moms…their baby daddies have spent years destroying them and making them feel like shit. Let’s not mess that up….

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Posted in:Milf

2021

10

May

Kristen Bell Nude Yoga of the Day

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I just saw a group of teenage girls walk by in oversized sweatpants rocking middle aged mom bodies and I thought that’s unfortunate….but not as unfortunate as middle aged moms who work out body….I get that the whole menopause thing is great for testosterone and getting those GAINS…the musculature on a 45 year old woman who jogs, works out, and tries to stay fit and hot is usually counter productive…and makes them look like haggard loose skinned men…

So here’s some Kristen Bell feeling good about her working out in her old lady compression socks for you foot fetishists who like compression socks…and not a whole lot else…but luckily for you…Kristen Bell is a cockteasing asshole who shouldn’t have bothered posting the nude, to be “I get nude”…since the giant square used to edit the nude, makes it not nude at all…sure, we can see thick cross fit thighs and some upper back muscles I don’t look for when jerking off to nudes…if anything it’s the kind of back you’d want out of doggy cuz that shit would feel queer…even if there’s a dry mom pussy on your dick, that back just throws it off balance…a dry mom pussy she’s not letting you see in this clickbait that shouldn’t be clickbait but rather just something to anger you….clickbait right Sarah Marshall you piece of shit….yes, I’m still mad at Kristen Bell for Sarah Marshall movie…

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Posted in:Kristen Bell