This is the first time in 4 years that I wasn’t able to post because of sickness, I think that’s a pretty good track record considering I am unhealthy as fuck. I am hoping to bring the site back tomorrow, but after today, I should really find a back up person to have my back […]

I got fan mail…. Jesus, I just felt the need to write a short e-mail to tell you how fabulous I think your website is. It is the perfect combination of useless information and perversion. I am a young mom of three children with a hell of alot of time on my hands when they […]

The economic crisis is hitting close to home. I just had to fire 50% of my staff which is pretty shitty considering the fucker won employee of the month for the last 48 months straight. It’s also too bad because I am the only person who works here, but times are tough and my couch […]

I know you are probably on the road, in a car, on a train, taking the bus, flying to visit your family on this glorious holiday, or you are sitting alone at home because your family didn’t invite you since they decided to go to the beach to avoid you and the disappointment you always […]

I almost sold an ad deal to a sex toy company…but then it all fell apart…because nothing works out for me and I can never catch a fucking break. Here’s my last correspondence with the girl I was dealing with: Hi Jesus,   I understand there has been some confusion around the issue of us […]

Still no hate mail but I came up with a new really insane sign off to my emails….it goes like this: Jeuss….Like Zuess But Mo’ Wetter…and I aint talkin bout the Weather….I mean Jesus Martinez. Thanks. Good Times. And it makes no fucking sense. I figure it comes in handy when dealing with people who […]