I feel bad for Perez Hilton. I never visit his website. I resent his success in doing pretty much the same thing I do. I hate that people listen to someone so ugly and turn to him as an authority. But dude is getting beat the fuck up by the paparazzi agencies. The reality is […]

I have been listening to a group of black guys doing smoke shows with their 1990 Pontiac for the last fucking hour. All I can smell is burnt rubber and all I can hear is squealing in my ears. I am annoyed but don’t want to go outside because today is not my day to […]

Not leaving your house makes for a pretty exciting fucking existence. I made my way out for my daily 1 block walk to stay fit and to realize that it’s too fucking hot outside for me and that I am at the age where I listen to the weather warnings to stay inside because I […]

I was walking by the water this past weekend and saw the coolest couple I’ve ever seen. they were fully white poor trash and dude looked a fucking wreck with ratty hair, some trashy tank top and was rockin’ a Speedo. He was holding his wife’s hand and bitch was in a pair of the […]

This is a story I wrote in an email today that I am recycling here because like someone said in the comments, that Paris letter wiped me out. I even had to go to the post office, interact with people and include my home phone number to send it out. I am hoping it gets […]

I was sitting outside for about 15 minutes today before realizing that it was too hot for me and my fear of dying made me come back inside, but in those 10 minutes I saw to ladies with summer dresses on talking about their outfits. At first it was too fucking boring to listen to, […]

I was out last night because that’s what I do when people tell me there are free drinks at a party for me. I got to fucking place and the line-up to the fucking bar was so long that it took me over an hour to get served and when I did get served they […]

I have decided that my new years resolution is to ask more girls to show me their tits in person. I figure that since I do it all day on the internet I am ready to take the step into the real world and randomly try getting everyday girls to pull out some tit. I […]