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Archive for the SFW Category

2015

13

Jul

Looking Up Demi Lovato’s Skirt of the Day

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Demi Lovato posted a couple of slutty pics to instagram…I mean they are barely slutty compared to the other things on instagram, and probably barely slutty when compared to other things Demi Lovato has done throughout her career, but probably slutty enough for anyone who thinks Demi Lovato is hot or someone who you would want to see up their skirt…

I don’t know if that is Wilmer, her boyfriend and celebrity tween de-virginizer hired by the Disney execs to break in the girl so they don’t feel so bad about it…but I do know that I’ve heard rumors that she’s a huge lesbian, which is not shocking based on the fact that she looks like a lesbian…

That’s all I have to say about that.

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TO SEE SOME PICS OF HER IN A CROP TOP – GOD KNOWS WHY YOU’D WANT TO – CLICK HERE

Posted in:Demi Lovato|SFW

2015

13

Jul

Hannah Ferguson Re-Run of the Day

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These pictures of Hannah Ferguson from last summer…have made a comeback, I have no idea why, maybe it’s summer and re-run season, who fucking knows..I just know I posted them over a year ago…and I guess here they are again…

I wrote:

Hannah Ferguson is the 45 year old looking model, who I’ve been told is very nice, because I guess when you’re 45 and you’re finally making it in the world as a bikini model, you’ve seen some shit and have been through some shit and experiences that have allowed you to get to a place where people think she’s 24…

You know…one of those “if I’m really sweet and nice and fun, they won’t ask for ID, they’ll just want to take pics of me, and pretend my hard face is from sun damage, because I’m that committed to bikini modeling and my body is hot, that’s all they care about, just be pleasant, keep the smile on, don’t let them have any reason to doubt me”….

Or maybe I’m just an asshole…I mean I can assure you that she’ll think I’m an asshole..all while I think she’s got pretty great tits…

I stand by everything I said….I would like to add that I am pretty amazing, I never re-read my posts but read that and it’s on point…shit I should have a TV show or a book deal or something…what the fuck is this injustice in the workd…

And that was the re-run of the day

Posted in:Hannah Ferguson|SFW

2015

13

Jul

People are Excited by Mick Foley’s Daughter of the Day

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I have been seeing the name Noelle Foley pop up on a bunch of websites the last couple of days, because apparently she’s the “instagram” model daughter of some wrestler or wrestling legend named Mick Folley, who I guess people who like Wrestling, and used to get boners for her dad, are pretty happy to see he has a daughter they can jerk off to, so that they feel less like faggots who watch men grind each other in spandex for make-belief….

Anyway, I figured I’d do my investigative journalism and visit the girl Noelle Foley’s instagram to see just what kind of instagram model she is…

Turns our, a pretty fucking bad one, and luckily for her, she has her Dad’s fan base to make her feel relevant…and they will, because they are a simple people who just need fake blonde hair and tits to get off…that’s probably why she works in wrestling, no one else wants her….

Her pictures look like shit, she needs a photographer, or lessons in selfie, I know 18 year old girls who don’t want to be instagram models who are better than this, she looks like the kind of stripper who her wrestling groupie mom probably is, you know as wrestlers don’t really attract the babes…but they do attract the cheesy stripper implants…they go hand in hand…

That’s all I have to say about this scam garbage…

Posted in:Noelle Foley|SFW

2015

12

Jul

Verne Troyer Mini Me Drunken Fall of the Day

I still think the best Verne Troyer moment was when he was pulling his Turkey….no…that’s not code for midget jerking off…her was actually pulling a fucking turkey..

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But seeing him drunk and falling into the club owner’s arms in Miami recently is worth watching…because everyone likes a freakish dwarf with a hooker and alcohol problem in his element…because you know that he’s crawled into a girl’s pussy at least once and that in and of itself is magic…and I believe in magic…

Posted in:SFW|Verne Troyer

2015

12

Jul

Is the troll being used as a diversion from Taylor Swift’s camel toe? of the Day

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THe question is….

Does Taylor Swift collect people she has respect for. You know she wants to surround herself by people she is impressed by or who she finds interesting….or does Taylor Swift collect people so that from a marketing perspective she looks important….like the person to be friends with….or does Taylor Swift collect people because she didn’t have friends going out and now she can have any friends she wants….and the exciting thing about these friends is that she can manupulate them like real life barbies…

Or…does Taylor Swift want to be a model, and likes showing off her legs against the legs of all these Victoria’s Secret models… Or are these people just latching onto Taylor Swift because she’s famous and increases their profile?

She’s the focal point / centre of attention amongst people that the media talk about…making her more important….she’s got the #squad everyone wants to be part of, and she’s the most powerful act right now…so this is all marketing…if she wanted to be a model, she could be….she just wants to be the most relevant, talked about person…who gets more money than any model ever gets to endorse product..

I don’t have the answers, I just know Lena Dunham, or trying to understand what species Lena Dunham is, distracts me from Taylor Swift’s cameltoe…it must be intentional…

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Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

2015

12

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s Tits Look Like Shit in a Bikini of the Day

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We all know that Lindsay Lohan looks like shit and that the only market that cares about her is the Arab Market, which I guess she’s converting to, because oil money can finance her life, and arab money love celebrity hookers, and Paris Hilton, to shit on in their palaces in Dubai, at least that’s what an instagram model who was flown to Dubai a few times told me when I asked if the rumors were true…

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Girls with no self respect and a love for fancy things fit in perfectly in places where men pay them to do dity fucking things….not to say all Arab dudes shit on girls, just to say if you’re bankrolling Lohan, or interested in having her around, you might as well shit on her….just because you can….she’s Lindsay Lohan, ex Hollywood star who did 5 or less movies…who people only care about for the novelty…

She’s done, expired, over…and as much as I want to believe she has a comeback tour in her, you know an Oscar win,she’s too fucking crazy to pull it off.

Fuck Lohan, she’s the worst and her tits, the one thing I believed in in this cold dark world are done, look like shit, and I guess a reminder that all good things come to an end…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Gigi Hadid’s Friend’s Big Tits and Cameltoe of the Day

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Gigi Hadid was on the beach…she wasn’t wearing a bikini….But her friend saved the day by having big tits and a cameltoe…

Good enough….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2015

10

Jul

The Tits from the Blurred Lines Video in a Bikini of the Day

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I would say that Emily Ratajkowski has figured out that the more bikini pics she posts to social media…the more likes she’ll get…the more relevant she’ll remain…

But as a girl who’s career is based on her getting naked in a music video, I’m pretty sure she’s realized that one…and that the last year has been her trying to figure out how to distance herself from being the naked big tits…like Kim K does with her sex tape…only with less public penetration…Emily Ratajkowski is a lady and only does that behind closed doors and her boyfriend’s back for jobs…I mean he was (rumored to be) Ben Affleck..right…that warrants a “Hall Pass”…

As you fade into obscurity…you gotta bring back what works..and it works..because she’s got a great fucking body…that you don’t deserve to be looking at…but she’s getting paid thanks to you to looking at it…so I guess you do…

All this to say…I still like looking at her….pics….she looks good….and that’s enough for me in this empty life I live…

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Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Natalie Portman for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

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I once wrote, but you didn’t ready, that I always laugh when I see Natalie Portman, only because she’s got so many gold stars of David next to her brandname…

The first being Jewish. Jewish guys fucking love hot Jewish girls, it gives them hope that they too will find a hot one amongst the inbred troll looking ones…since there are only so many Jewish girls around…and as we know…any culture has a limited amount of hot girls and the hot girl to troll girl ratio is never favorable….When you’re not forced to marry a Jewish girl to make your family happy, you have more options…so the hot Jewish girl’s stock is valuable..she’s in high demand…

That is why even the fattest most disgusting Jewish girl is a daddy’s girl with a bad attitude, because she knows she’ll be fine…married and mom…to a rich guy….

The second gold star of David is that she’s also done Star Wars…which is just a WTF..set for life…fanbase forever situation…

Here she is in Harper’s Bazaar…

Posted in:Natalie Portman|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Denise Richards Hooker Leg of the Day

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There are a lot of rumors that Denise Richards was one of Heidi Fleiss’ escorts that Charlie Sheen hired…and even made his wife…because every escort wants to legitimize their career as escorts…by focusing on the public image of her as an “actress”…married to an “actor”…even though we know the truth…

Charlie sheen loves the dirtiest of hookers and porn chicks who do the dirtiest of things..

She is the one who tamed Charlie Sheen for the media…which means….she probably does the dirtiest of fucking things…

I don’t even care that she’s a hooker, or rumored hooker, as I know actors and models who are also hookers…as are bottle service girls, strippers and actual hookers…

People are lazy, people like nice things, people like to get paid to fuck…especially when they are fake tit, fake face, hooker-looking girls…who were married to hooker lovers…right…

Well here’s her leg, only because it’s the most powerful paparazzi pic I’ve seen in a long time…so mysterious, someone get this guy a Vogue deal, it’s better than deporting his immigrant ass…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Denise Richards|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Hanna Davis for SI SWIM DAILY of the DAy

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I don’t know why I post these shitty pics of shitty girls for Sports Illustrated as part of their marketing campaign…

I actually hate the pictures and everything they represent…they are boring…and the girls in them aren’t real models..

They are just hookers and this is me giving them more exposure so that they can charge more by the hour…

All while not giving a fuck about these pictures or this girl…

I am not jerking off to this, and you shouldn’t be either…this isn’t what I’m into…this isn’t interesting…she doesn’t even look good..

Yet here I am…feeding into it..because I have a problem I call updating this site everyday when I should just stare at the fucking wall..it’d be more rewarding..

Garbage…

Posted in:Hannah Davis|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Petra Nemcova’s Nipple Shit Stain of the Day

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The most impressive thing about this Eastern European model, is that she proves that Eastern European women are a breed of woman to fear, because even the skinny tall model version of them, can’t die in a natural disaster, when the person they were with was never to be found again…

That’s pretty impressive…and almost erotic…not her dying fiance, but a dead fiance makes a fantasy of moving in to console her before being her first post-death sex partner seem more attainable..

So here’s Petra Nemcova, Tsunami survivor…still alive many years later showing some areola…or as my weird immigrant calls it..the “shit stain” of the nipple…

Is it exciting, no…but is any of this exciting?

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Petra Nemcova|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Britney Spears Flexibility of the Day

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If you’re like me, you’ve jerked off to something yoga related at least once…

Whether it is Yoga pants and how great they make asses look…or some spiritual hippie bitch you brought home from the bar who uses yoga moves in the bedroom trying to expel your sperm out of her…because spiritual hippie bitches don’t use condoms…or razors…or maybe it was Yoga in the park show put on by new mothers or a college Yoga class trying to get some outdoor in the park air…or maybe it was just to girl on instagram showing iff their flexibility and overall health….wearing shorts…

Well now, Britney Spears and her yoga flexibility can be another one for you to get off to, if you’re into this kind of of mom of two vagina pop..which I am…because it smells like money….and cheetos…10 year old placenta, K-fed and probably like it needs a shower or two…she’s certifiable and if I’ve learned anything from medicated crazy people…it’s that vagina health is never their priority…

She’s good, even if she’s old…she still bends…and that’s how I like my puppets…

Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Lara Stone Models Purses of the Day

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Lara Stone is a cunt who tried to sue me for posting boring as fuck honeymoon pictures…back when she was married to a relevant comedian….at the time when she was naked all the time in her photoshoots while being a model…because that’s what models do..they are bodies that sell those bodies like hookers…because they are hookers…who eventually start a family with rich people…like TV show creators…

Not that any of that matters, but Lara Stone is still pretty fucking hot, and just because I can’t get over insignificant lawsuits that never amounted to anything, because I am insignificant in the grand scheme of things, like if you were to ask her what DrunkenStepfather.com is, she’d have no fucking idea..but I can still think she’s a cunt in this one sided relationship…a cunt I would like to wear as gas mask…in the apocalypse that is my life..

Posted in:Lara Stone|SFW

2015

10

Jul

Trashy Ariana Grande’s Apology of the DAy

Here’s Ariana Grande’s apology…”taking responsibility for her actions that she’s so disappointed in herself about because she was filmed without her knowledge and she’s young as still has a lot to learn…by her mistakes…this is going to make her a better person…we all make mistakes….I’m so embarrassed but instead of crawling under a rock I am going to use my voice…to make me more fucking money….”…

I didn’t listen to it, but I can assume it is a media trained approach written by a PR team to “right this wrong”…typical nonsense in popculture…instead of letting these people burn, we let them apologize and eveyrthing goes back to normal because no one actually cares about what she said, we’re too busy taking selfies…and she makes people too much money…so she’ll be fine, this is just “PR SPIN”…to really say it’s ok..

I am not American, but I think an American is allowed to say she hates Americans…even when selling them products…because why the fuck not, it’s the land of the free, let this brat hate on the land of the free because she is free to do so..she’s a citizen, whatever…

Just don’t make her retract her statement…because of Album sales and promoters pulling out on her…unlike all the black dudes she fucks…it’s embarrassing and annoying…they do this all the time…

Let her be herself and have an actual shitty opinion, rather than a collective un-offensive public opinion, it is refreshing that she’s a human…but her uneducated spoiled brat living the American dream as a pop star, because fame is all that really matters in America…is playing a bigger part of American culture than the average person…she’s part of their distraction tools to make you fatter and dumber…NOISE..DISTRACT…DIVIDE…CONQUER…which makes her hating America werid…

I would prefer her to stand by her statements…and let the fans boycott her instead…this attempt to rebuild, fix what she did, when it’s not what she actually thinks…is just more lies…when we want the truth…she still has a problem with the America she hates…no matter how fast she tries to back pedal cuz she sees dollars disappearing.. I hate it…if you offend people stand fucking by it…

What can’t be forgiven is that she licked that donut, making me doubt the cleanliness of donut shops and buffets everywhere…GERMS!! Disgusting…pig of a girl…

No more apologies…

Posted in:Ariana Grande|SFW