Modern Day Journalism
 
 

2011

27

May

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

A screwdriver is the working class Mimosa, and I’m on my fourth. Hello day, it’s good to be alive….

Here’s some shit going on on other sites that don’t get drunk when they wake up at noon, but instead post very relevant posts I can’t keep up with.

Cuddles.

Lindsay Lohan’s Oral Fixation Retrospective
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If I’m Gonna Have an Accident With a Chainsaw, I Want It to Have a V8 Motor
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College Football 2011: Sexiest Coeds of the Big East
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Free Cam Shows Because It’s Friday and You Deserve It
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Yeah. I’d Fuck a Mermaid. Especially These Celebrity Ones
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Snooki is Taking Diet Pills and By the Looks Of Things, They Definitely Aren’t Working
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Japanese Insanity of the Day
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Get a Load of Gina Ramos
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Sexy Teen Striptease
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Web Cam Girls That Are Better Than Your Girlfriend Because They Dont Talk Back Not that You Have Girlfriend – But you know what I mean…
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Posted in:MHD

2011

26

May

Claudia Schiffer is the Hot Bitch Who Got Cheated On of the Day

Funny story came out today that Claudia Schiffer’s husband was fucking January Jones raw dog and knocking her up only to discover too late that January Jones wanted a baby and doesn’t believe in abortions, while Claudia Sciffer was at home picking up her kid from school everyday as he pretended he was just “working” on a movie with her….January Jones over Claudia Schiffer, I guess this proves the whole even fucking Claudia Schiffer gets boring for her husband argument people used to use in the 90s.

What it comes down to is that models are supposed to marry older billionaire business men who want the trophy to feel accomplished, they aren’t supposed to mess with people in Hollywood.

What is also comes down to is that dudes like to fuck and we aren’t that picky, and don’t really care if the bitch we are getting with is hotter than the one we have at home, we just like that we are getting it…

Either way, here she is with her hot mom ex supermodel body in England, the calm before the scandal storm…and she’s looking hot to me…if she needs a dick to cry on, I volunteer mine mainly because like Patch Adams, it brings laughs and joy to those trying to find it in the scavanger hunt that is my sex life.

Posted in:Claudia Schiffer

2011

26

May

stepLINKS of the Day

I dont have 50,000 followers on Facebook or twitter-because I suck at most things including but not limited to the internet…..

But I figure I might as well try to get 50,000 followers, because there are a whole lot of idiots with not nearly as amazing internet commentary with way more than that…and because I have nothing else to do.

So that’s why I need YOU TO FOLLOW ME , cuz I’m not gonna follow myself, twitter won’t let me..

Yes, I know twitter is stupid, irritating, for chicks, etc. But I sit on my shit stained couch all day, this is how I determine my self worth. Then again I don’t really care either way….

FOLLOW ME

Here are my stepLINKS…click them…There’s only a million of them…more stepLINKS than I have followers…

SIDENOTE – I don’t link sites with viruses…..

Courtney Love Talks About Cobain’s Penis For Those Of You Who Still Masturbate to His Music and Feel He was a Legend Taken from Us Before his Time…
GO

Chyna’s Long-Awaited Return To Porn Is Happening asnd By Long Awaited I Mean You Would Rather Die Than See Her Naked
GO

I Think This Dildo May Be Too Big – You Be the Judge
GO

Sexy Web Came Sluts, From Me To You
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Joslyn James Huge TIts in a Bikini Distract from her Shaved Hipster Hair for Attention
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Selena Gomez Young Tight Ass Molesting Underage Boys in a Bikini
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Watching Cam Girls for Free is Worth It….
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Some Beat Boxing Craziness – Even THough Beat Boxing is Gay
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10 Babes That Dates Boy Band Members Who Were Way Below Them
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Arnold’s Under Investigation For Allegedly Using the California Highway Patrol To Help Him Bang Chicks
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Trampoline Fail
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Lady Gaga is a Self Absorbed Idiot Part 350 433
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Alessandra Ambrosio’s Amazing Spandex Booty
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Free Cam Shows, So You Can Really Get Your Money’s Worth
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Christiana Capotondi Nip Slip
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Cheryl Cole Got Fired, I’m More Than Willing to Give Her a Job
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WTF Photo of the Day
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I Wanna Punch Scott Disick in the Face
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Ellie Penfold Spilling Out Of Her Bikini
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Sofia Vergara Hotness
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Two Hot Best Friends Take It To The Next Level
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Chris Hansen From to Catch a Predator Almost Got His Ass Kicked – VIDEO
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Carly and Celeste Get In On
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Seriously, How Long Before Lindsay Lohan Gets Away With Murder Literally?
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Rosa Acosta Hotness
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Teacher Arrested For Sexting 11-Yr Old… Sending Pictures Of His Wang [Video]
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Get a Load of Isobel
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Lawyer Distracted By Big Boobied Woman – Wants Her Gone
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Kelly Clarkson Just Keeps Getting Fatter
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Blondie Adele is On All Fours
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Washed Out Hipster Babe Makes Me Fall In Love
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Alessandra Ambrosio is Looking MILF Worthy
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Gotta Love Teen Tits – VIDEO
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Victoria Silvstedt Has Legs Fit For A DIngee
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Now That’s How You Teach Children
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Striptease of the Day
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Melissa Jacobs in Black and White
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VIDEO: A Date with Kate Upton (a Guyism Original)
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Matthew Vaughn Is January Jones’ Baby Daddy?
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Jersey Shore Slut Has Her Ass Hanging Out Of Her Skirt
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Pippa Middleton Flashes Her Panties
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J-Lo Shakes Her Ass In See Through Fishnets
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Steven Tyler Loves His Cocaine
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2011

26

May

Emma Roberts for Tyler Shields of the Day

I find photographer Tyler Shields to be the biggest pile of shit. I really don’t know why I get so annoyed by him, but I think it’s gotta do with him being a typical mainstream LA idiot pretending to be an artist, with some deep artistic vision, and thanks to a few celebrity friends, like Lindsay Lohan, he’s become the “it” guy to go do stupid photoshoots with…Like he’s the new Terry Richardson, riding celebriity celebrity to get his own celebrity to the top by sucking up to them when really he’s just a scam…is actually kinda genius….but I still find him annoying…

That said, here are some pictures of Emma Roberts and Juno Temple with what he calls “Vampire Tears” cuz he is full of shit, everyone knows they are the facial cum shot of glittery fairy.

Idiots.

On a sidenote, this photoshoot clearly lacks nudity, pussy lip and tit…Tyler Shields needs to step up his artistic vision, pull it out of Twilight and take it to Hustler…if you know what I mean.

He’s the fucking worst. He named thes pictures “Chaos, Flowers, Tears, Unicorn Tears, Vampire Tears”…I hope he kills himself/ gets hit by a bus and loses his eyesight / drug overdoses or gets ignored.

Posted in:Emma Roberts

2011

26

May

Alessandra Ambrosio in Small Shorts of the Day

Unlike Lindsay Lohan with her house arrest bullshit, I’m allowed to leave my house, and I do sometimes, even though I don’t really have to or have the energy to, or really know what to do when I’m out there other than drink and stare at girls….which I guess is all I really need to do to have a full, exciting and satisfying life…and the good news is that every year girls’s shorts get shorter and tighter and hotter even if they bitch in them is dumpy and just overly comfortable with the fact that she’s dumpy thanks to parents over-praising her…so now when I leave my house…I can’t go without seeing some slut showing off shorts and that is a good thing and in person slut is better than in picture slut but no short tight short should go unnoticed….so here is some Alessandra Ambrosio in what may be the best shorts of the day….but I haven’t left the house yet..if you can even call this a house…so I can’t be too sure.

I don’t have the rights to the pics – but I do have this video of a chick named Alessandra Belly dancing…..


To See The Rest of the Pics
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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2011

26

May

Shark Night 3D is the Stupid Movie of the Day

I love shitty movies, mainly because of all the hot chicks getting naked cuz they think this is their big break since moving to LA has been nothing but rejection after rejection, but it still always amazes me that these fucking movies get made, when my idea for a movie about my life as a blogger like the social network meets a crackhouse meets a ghetto stripclub meets a divebar phenomenon that would change the thread on the fabric of the nation…but once that bitterness subsides…I move on an appreciate the shit that this Shark Night 3D is….cuz girls in bikini dying stupid deathes and getting topless really works for me.

Posted in:Shark Night 3D

2011

26

May

Kate Upton Milking a Fake Cow for Money of the Day

The irony of this Kate Upton milking a cow is almost bittersweet….or maybe this isn’t irony but instead a self fullfilling prophecy….I’m not good with words or theories or concepts or much but I am good wih predicting whether a fat titty 18 year old is going to end up fat or not…because I know when the tits are too big to make sense they usually don’t make sense until the bitch turns 25 and her ass and stomach catch up to her…mark my words…appreciate her tits while they aren’t competing with the rest of her…cuz they are spectacular for now…but I know how this works and you’re not gonna trust me but you should.

So here’s Kate “Fat in Training, It always starts in the tits” Upton – milking cow.

Posted in:Kate Upton

2011

26

May

Pippa Middleton Stalking Continues of the Day

Pippa Middleton isn’t my girlfriend, but I do like to imagine her smearing her feelings of inadequacy and disspaointment in herself, coupled with her daddy issues and jealousy of her sister, all over my dick.

I love that she’s being followed around like she matters, and I’m pretty sure she loves it to, if anything, I’m sure she staged this shit, cuz let’s face it, she deserver her glory too, sure she’s never gonna be queen like her sister, but she’ll leave a legacy, hopefully all over my dick….or on a dick that causes a scandal on video…

Keep up the good work pippa.

Posted in:Pippa Middleton

2011

26

May

Shauna Sand’s Class Girls Night Out of the Day

For some reason I think this night ended up in a hotel room that smelled of death, decay, fish and afterbirth.

If you’ve ever seen Shauna Sands pussy get fucked , you’ll know that I’m right.

She’s a bottom feeding, dying for attention, mom of 3, who just last year finally got into porn, after decades of vaginal abuse, and we should embrace that, cuz it’s better than seeing girls get out of porn and addiction to become Christians, I like a slow and gradual fall into the gutter.

Posted in:Shauna Sand

2011

26

May

Halle Berry Shows Off Her Mom Belly of the Day

What a whore….showing off her stomach like she’s not a mother…winning Oscars pretending she’s a black woman, when really she was raised white and is whiter than the fat white woman down the street with 6 black babies who yelled at me while drunk yesterday, living all fancy and designer and using all those big words in some kind of scam to make the white people think they are dealing with ethnicity, when really they just dealing with a tan…but the good news is I’d still fuck her and so would you…

Halle Berry
Halle Berry Shows Off Her Mom Belly of the Day

What a whore….showing off her stomach like she’s not a mother…winning Oscars pretending she’s a black woman, when really she was raised white and is whiter than the fat white woman down the street with 6 black babies who yelled at me while drunk yesterday, living all fancy and designer and using all those big words in some kind of scam to make the white people think they are dealing with ethnicity, when really they just dealing with a tan…but the good news is I’d still fuck her and so would you…

Posted in:Halle Berry

2011

26

May

Fergie Tits in Yellow of the Day

I’m down with Fergie. Either she got Hair Implants, started taking hormone therapy, started getting Botox that left her dainty and lovely, or maybe she’s just wearing a push up bra, but whatever it is that she’s doing differently, is working out amazing for me, cuz you know ever since I gave her my business card two years ago, everything she does is for me, she just doesnt advertise it.

Posted in:Fergie

2011

26

May

Katie Price Keeps Things Classy of the Day

Katie Price hasn’t suffocated on her own tits yet and is apparently still trashing out in public like she matters, or like she’s important, or like she doesn’t produce retarded babies, or like she isn’t old, tired, fatter and boring without her gay husband, and people only know who she is cuz we were trying to make sense of her ridiculous implants but more importantly make sense of how they made her all that money. Is man really that easy to please? I guess so.

Either way, what a trashcan of a person…

Posted in:Katie Price

2011

26

May

Kristin Cavallari Cameltoe Bikini Pictures of the Day

What do you do when no one wants you and no one cares about you? At least not the people you want to have care for you, you know like people who can offer you a job that doesn’t involve you stripping. You wipe off those tears of failure, you need to be resiliant and get into a bikini tha you jack it up into your into your vagina, that is not nearly as useless as you, and you stage a photoshoot hoping people post about it, hoping it reminds people you are still here, hoping it will turn your bullshit MTV career around….even though the world has rejected you….

Also known as my favorite time in a has been reality TV star’s career.


To See The Rest of the Pictures
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Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2011

26

May

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

Wipe back to front….no front to back….it’s the little things in life that confuse me….but prevent you from getting low level AIDS….

Cheryl Cole Fired from X-Factor – HUGE MISTAKE
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FALLING SNAKES! On Bitches – VIDEO
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20 Summer Sports Hotties
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Free Cam Shows, and Were in a Recession So Take What You Can Get
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The 10 Hottest Chicks Woody Allen Couldn’t Bang So He Made Movies With Instead
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Pippa Middleton Panty Flash
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And That’s Why You Don’t Take Drugs While You Drive
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Three Sluts is Better Than One Slut
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Hot Blonde Loves to Rub Herself Down
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Outtakes From Bridesmaids That Will Make You Piss Yourself Laughing
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Celebrity Dare Devils I wish Died in the Process of Dare-Deviling
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Porn Blooper- Dude Can’t Get Hard
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Trance on the Guitar
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Start Your Day – Or Spend Your Day – Watching Cam Girls for Free
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2011

26

May

stepNEWS of the Day

The real news of the day is that I got stuck talking to a crazy 90 year old Christian trying to redeem herself of a life of sin by walking around handing out bullshit flyers about the end of the world, fascinated that all dogs came from one breed thanks to Noah, clearly in desperate need of the discovery channel and a solid fuck…

Here is the latest stepNEWs….

Woman attacked with wet swim noodle
A Florida man, apparently angry over a watermelon, is accused of attacking a woman with a swim noodle.

Breastfeeding Moms stage ‘nurse-in’ which is way less ghetto than the pregnant mom I just saw smoking in her locked car with her kids…
In Forest Park, Georgia, moms are mad. They staged a “nurse-in” to protest a new city ordinance forbidding mothers from breastfeeding children age 2 and older in public.

Posted in:stepNEWS