I was fucking with Kate Upton on Twitter….you know saying seductive shit like “I can’t wait for your ass to catch up to your dumpu tits” and she blocked me…I feel like 140 characters or less don’t give me the chance to explain myself or that historically 18 year olds with big tits all end up really fat by 30, it’s like their just awkwardly developed in a good way, and shit takes a turn for the worse when their matabolism slows down….It’s just the way it is…
The fact is that she’s not 400 pounds now, and she’s at her prime, so I’m down with seeing as much as we can of her before that horrible time comes, and it will come, it always does, but you’ll forget her name and that she existed by then…
So take it in Upton, you’re on borrowed time.
Posted in:Kate Upton
There is no way anyone in their right mind would dump Bar Refaeli for old faced Blake Lively, clearly they are just friends and this is acting cuzBar Refaeli is the one who dumped Leonardo cuz he can’t make her Jewish babies and won’t convert for her, he’s all rich and has an ego, so he’s trying to get her worked up….
Or maybe they are still dating and this is just a diversion from their secret wedding, and who the fuck cares about Leonardo’s sex life, cuz I got enough issues with my own, that I would rather be workiing on my own issues, like why my site is getting no traffic anymore…and more importantly why the only bitch willing to give me a blowjob is 500 pounds and smells like cheese and feces and death…instead of some dude who’s pretty much won the lottery on all levels…even if I think Blake Lively is overrated, she’s still not 500 pounds and smelling like feces and cheese and death…Good times…I suck at life.
Posted in:Blake Lively|Leonardo DiCapro
Capri Anderson is the pornstar and escort who was the original Charlie Sheen hooker to hit the media this year, I mean other than his ex wives, because let’s face it, anyone addicted to hookers like Charlie Sheen, was always addicted to hookers. It probably has something to do with them doing whatever he tells them to, and the ease of getting rid of them whenever he wants to.
So it’s no real surprise that this Capri Anderson chick went back to porn, you know after her 5 minutes of fame disappeared when Sheen decided to take a group of other hookers to the next level of media attention, kinda making this hooker, who ratted him out to the cops and the media cuz she’s not a cool hooker, cuz cool hookers know the client is boss and if he wants tot throw a lamp at your head, that’s just the way it’s gotta be, a glitch in her work ethic that leaves her totally obsolete….I mean until now….cuz you can officially jerk off to her post Charlie Sheen pussy…even though you’re the kind of guy who will jerk off to any pussy…whether it is a porn pussy you’ve seen before or not….I was just trying to find a sellable hook on a pornstar releasing a porn because in between those porns was a crazy celebrity scandal….and I realize I don’t need a hook…There’s a naked whore….that’s the hook….so Thanks Capri Anderson…and Thank You, dear reader……
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Posted in:Capri Anderson
Here’s some real housewife Gretchen Rossi. I know nothing about here or what she does, but I do know what her pussy definition looks like….thanks to her bikini choices…and that’s ok by me cuz I’m a pervert who likes everything with a vagina, even if it is old and has fake tits, even though I hate fake tits, that’s just the hold vagina has on me…
Why do I even bother writing these things?
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Posted in:Gretchen Rossi
Here are some pictures of Katie Holmes in a bathing suit, hiding her sloppy mom stomach, showing off her under appreciated and more importantly under-used tits…because she decided to marry cult leader Tom Cruise and his creepy fucking smile….getting pregnant fast, probably through artificial insemination…like a lesbian or science experiment, without having the chance or taking the opportunity in her personal life to go down the road of celebrity slut, flashing her pussy, passing out drunk, trashing hotel rooms, and ending up in rehab…or taking movie roles with tons of sex scenes in her professional life, What a fucking waste…but I take what I can get and here it is…
Posted in:Katie Holmes
Here’s Ryan Seacrest’s fake girlfriend, named Julianne Hough, who was a professional dancing on Dancing with the Stars….before she turned to trying to have a legit singing career….and what better way than to get to the top of the charts than to pretend to date a gay dude so that he maintains his cover so the world doesn’t turn on him and his frosted lips…Good business move…and here she is working out in the park for the paparazzi in some obviously staged pics…cuz I guess people still do that hustle to get noticed…I think she’d be better off releasing video of her fucking Seacrest up the ass with an strap-on, or even one of his Emmy awards, because that’s the shit the public really want to see.
Posted in:Julianne Hough
I have no idea why I am posting pictures of Tori Spelling….I really don’t and never did find her hot ever when she was 16 and on TV…even though she had implants in a time I didn’t find implants cheap and easy entertainment, you know when implants were a mythical object that average girls didn’t get, reserved for strippers and playboy chicks, before realizing there’s nothing like a hot set of natural tits, and implants are cheap copies….so to post these pics makes no sense…unless maybe I’m into her billionaire ass pumping her own gas like some grease monkey…but I don’t think it’s that.
Posted in:Tori Spelling
Kim Kardashian has a fat back and I figured I’d post it because you all need to realize that she’s not someone with any fucking sex appeal, unless you own a restaurant, that’s not an all you can eat place, but a by the pound kinda spot, cuz this pig, like all pigs, likes to eat…
I’m tired of her being celebrated, I’m tired of her making money, I’m tired of people thinking she’s hot, but for some sick reason, I’m not tired of watching her suck a black cock…cuz pornstars, despite being unimpressive and trash, at least they get fucking naked and fuck….I just don’t like when they pretend they are all luxury and high class….when really they just gutter porn trash, no matter how much money they have or have made…
Posted in:Kim Kardashian
Today is about fat chicks. Partially because I have a fat wife and I want to punish you with pussy you once wanted to fuck and still will fuck but with a totally different outlook on fucking, cuz now she’s a doughy fucking mess but also because I saw a group of morbid obese chicks in the park doing some fat chick exercise class and it was hysterical, all the panting and hard breating just from trying to get up off the ground, made for entertainment a circus in the 30s would have paid big fucking money for, but instead that I have to politely gawk at cuz society’s gone all nice and PC and pointing and laughing is a thing of the past…Sucks.
Posted in:Christina Aguilera