DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

13

Sep

Hilary Duff Hard Nipples of the Day

Hilary Duff brought out her nipples in some Lizzie McGuire revival, only this version of Lizzie McGuire is a 40 year old mom of two, which I think is doing to do wonderful thing for her core fans of loyal perverts that used to jack off to Lizzie McGuire and her animated alter-ego….and I guess kids that grew up on her, but there’s none of that here….we cater to old perverts with the Disney Channel and that’s unfortunate because losers talking to losers leads to more losing…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2019

13

Sep

Heidi Klum Erotica of the Day

No Comments »

Heidi Klum is some exhibitionist pervert who is acting like a 20 year old newlywed from the 1950s….back when newlyweds were all about getting their fuck on and exploring each other sexually…while we are no in an era where Newlyweds are only getting married because they’ve stopped fucking each other and have given up on fucking other people but like the idea of raising a family in a traditional home….

I guess it makes sense that Newlywed Heid Klum would act like a newlywed in the 1950s, since she was born in the 50s, or maybe was created in a lab in the 50s, we can’t be sure with at Nazi German engineering….but the being sexual and slutty on instagram is just a weird thing to discover about a bitch…it seems desperate and gross…cuz I like sluts who are sluts in private but uptight and prude in public…like in KLUMs case we all know she had a sexual dysfunction thanks to being German to begin with, then all the kids with Seal happened and we knew she liked being SHREDDED By huge cock that allowed natural birth to happen with ease, like we knew the underwear model was a slut…but we didn’t need to SEE her being a slut in selfies…the excitement was NOT seeing that and knowing…

But now everything is all in our faces, and she’s going through if not done with Menopause…so it’s her final stretch of sex appeal and she’s not going to let that go unnoticed…now that she can’t get pregnant to show us just how sexually active she is…so she posts all these post sex moments and all I can think is that her pussy is so fucking battered that it must stink…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Heidi Klum|SFW

2019

13

Sep

Elisha Cuthbert Gunt of the Day

No Comments »

Elisha Cuthbert the “puck slut” as we call them here in Canada…cuz she only fucks hockey players…

I just wrote an entire post on this nonsense and it god deleted because I suck at the internet…

It was basically saying that Cuthbert, like all Canadian girls are Maple Syrup dick suckers, and are raised to believe that the most coveted man to get is the Hockey Player, they are deemed the God’s of Canada, and even in Elisha Cuthbert’s level of celebrity thanks to Canadian classics as Popular Science for kids, before going off to America to do cocaine with Paris Hilton, she’s still got it engrained in the core of who she is, that Hockey cock is the only cock for her….so like a cocktail waitress at the local super club, she has consistently thrown herself at hockey players…and now she’s throwing her 40 year old gunt at us…

Years ago, since she’s from Montreal, I had this viral stunt idea to flash mob her family house in MONTREAL, to stage a memorial for her career, because all those years ago she was pretty much over…and has since done nothing of interest besides grow out the gunt….

Thanks to not liking to do anything, or put effort in anything to get attention from people…I never did it, I prefer to keep my real life nonsense to stories not videos, videos makes it seem like you’re trying too hard for approval and I genuinely can’t be bothered to put effort into yotuube or any social media…to get hits because I ultimately don’t care about the public opinion and just stick to my corner of the internet…looking at GUNTS and remembering what was…while everyone else has likely forgotten Elisha Cuthbert – as they should…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|SFW

2019

13

Sep

Dora Madison Burge Still Slutty of the Day

No Comments »

Dora Madison Burge in her best rendition of a sex worker’s pose for her backpages ad (RIP)…and it clearly works because I never know who this bitch was before she started getting naked on INSTAGRAM within their terms and conditions so that she doesn’t get deleted…and now I know who she is.

I don’t find her hot, but hot is in the eye of the pervert looking at a bitch. To some of us just seeing a girl stripped down and pouting her mouth like she’s shooting stills for her PORN DVD box, is exciting….I mean she looks better than most women you’ve had sex with…so hot is irrelevant….while naked and half naked is totally fucking relevant….so Dora Madison Burge is keeping busy staying more relevant than she’s ever been and all she had to do was show the people her tits….which should be outlined on every college application form…”SAVE YOUR MONEY SHOW THEM TITS IT WILL PAY OUT IN DIVIDENDS WHILE COLLEGE WILL GET YOU A JOB AT A VIDEO STORE AND VIDEO STORES DON’T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Dora Madison Burge|SFW

2019

13

Sep

Titty Tribute to Mad Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

What Me Worry?

A while ago, I picked up a MAD magazine in a grocery store because I remembered reading old mad magazines at this camp I was sent to as a kid. They were old editions so I didn’t understand any of the jokes, which paved the way for me to be an out of touch weirdo who doesn’t understand comedy, and 40 years after that horrible summer of MAD magazine, coupled with a creepy rapist #metoo but I don’t whine about it….I still didn’t understand the jokes in that MAD magazine…and as of recently….MAD magazine as officially been killed off….but it will forever live…not because of their innovating, influential approach to COMEDY…but because of this chick’s tits….cuz tits I do understand…

Posted in:Mara Brova

2019

13

Sep

Charli XCX Butthole Flash of the Day

No Comments »

Charli XCX is a butthole flasher. Clearly she knows that a butthole is the answer to all marketing efforts. It is how you get free coverage that you’d otherwise need to pay for….the power of the butthole roping us in and manipulating us. Who’d ever think seeing the place a girl shits from…and probably gross shits cuz most shits are gross…but when you factor in that she’s from the UK and likely has a terrible diet…not to mention a lot of travel borne illnesses from her life of luxury…coupled with anal on those fertile days she doesn’t want to get pregnant…was what we as a people would be most excited to lick and see…BUT ALAS humanity always throwing surprises at us…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Charli XCX|SFW

2019

13

Sep

Alicia Keys Got Them Titties On of the Day

No Comments »

Alicia Keys the homewrecking singer who just bought a 20 million dollar home because she is Alicia Keys and back in the early 200os every one took her heartfelt music…with songs like “NO ONE” that guided early 2000s break-ups….you know shit to listen to when you cried about your breakup forgetting that you were just brain washed and better people exist than the girl who makes you listen to shitty ALICIA KEYS songs….making her money to buy 20 million dollar houses to add to her collection of other expensive shit cuz she’s famous like that…

The only salvation we have from her scam is that she isn’t hot…so we can look at her in disgust…while her tits are out at some bullshit..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Alicia Keys|SFW

2019

13

Sep

Chiara Bianchino Naked of the Day

No Comments »

Chiara Bianchino is naked and that may be all you need to know…

Do you really expect me to dig though the fucking archives of the internet to find an angle to talk about some naked to social media chick in Black and White cuz it’s more artistic and less slutty….or can I just post up the pics to remind you all that there’s another girl getting naked for all the right reasons….or wrong reasons..who cares she’s naked.

It’s simpler for all of us this way.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Chiara Bianchino

2019

13

Sep

Aubrey O’Day Nip Slip of the Day

No Comments »

Aubrey O’Day is out here reminding all you fat chicks, that if you get fit, people will like you better and that you don’t even need to get fit, you can just get fat sucked out of you and injected into your ass and face the more opportunity will come your way…even when you’re totally fucking irrelevant….

Because Aubrey was pretty fat before remembering that no one likes fat chicks…not even fat chicks…even when they try to lie to you about feeling sexy and empowered…