Ass Archives - Page 42 of 44 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

14

May

I am – Jessica Alba's Ass in a Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

I came across pictures of Alba going to some photoshoot last week, or this weekend, or sometime recently, but I seemed to overlook the pictures of her getting water poured on her and showing of her amazing ass in a bikini bottom.

I had an Alba moment this weekend when I went to meet a friend near the boats because I like looking at boats. It turned out that he know someone who lived around the corner who was out of town and that person had a fully stocked bar and TV. So we broke into the house, cracked open some beer, layed on his couch and watched TV for about 4 hours before the cops were called and we had to jump out the fire escape. Either way, that Alba bikini movie with the cocaine and the divers was on, and I chose her over Terminator….True story.

Since I had a Jessica Alba moment this weekend, I’d figure I’d do a post on these, I am creepy like that, but I don’t have her posters on my walls, because I generally hate celebrities and I am not a virgin who finds hope, happiness and love on my TV, in movies and in magazines…I am more into drinking, whores and bitches who can actually give me rim jobs than obsessing over over-paid whores….That’s just my opinion.

To see the rest of the pics of Alba on the Photoshoot with a Wet T-Shirt On that are Big Enough For You Creeps to Zoom Into Her Birthmarks…
GO

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Jessica Alba|Photoshoot|Unsorted

2007

11

May

I am – Nicky Hilton’s Ass in Spandex of the Day

52 Comments »

There are reasons I would love to go to the gym to work out and those reasons are pretty fucking simple. Girls get dressed in spandex because I assume it makes them run faster on the treadmill while all the fucking meathead dudes lift weights behind them. I knew a guy who would get on a machine that was in front of the mat’s where the chicks would do their ass exercises or squats or some shit and dude would just park himself on that thing all day. He’d always brag to us how amazing a healthy life was because of the amount of hot ass he saw, but none of us ever listened. I just put on my shorts because summer is here, and they don’t fucking fit me anymore, like I grew out of them our some shit and they have an elastic waistband, making me have dreams that I actually cared enough to do something about it at a gym where hot bitches squat of me all day. Maybe it will happen one day….

That day seems to already have come for Nicky Hilton, I guess in preperation of her sister being in jail, Nicky’s decided to take her place as the party slut in the public eye, like the runner up at a beauty contest, only this beauty contest isn’t for pretty people, it’s for Hiltons….or maybe now that Paris is too pre-occupied going to jail, she hasn’t been able to distract Nicky from getting to the gym and being the hotter sister, like she has the last 8 years by convincing her to eat donuts instead of doing crunches…That’s just Paris’ way…

Posted in:Ass|Nicky Hilton|Spandex|Unsorted

2007

11

May

I am – Nicky Hilton's Ass in Spandex of the Day

No Comments »

There are reasons I would love to go to the gym to work out and those reasons are pretty fucking simple. Girls get dressed in spandex because I assume it makes them run faster on the treadmill while all the fucking meathead dudes lift weights behind them. I knew a guy who would get on a machine that was in front of the mat’s where the chicks would do their ass exercises or squats or some shit and dude would just park himself on that thing all day. He’d always brag to us how amazing a healthy life was because of the amount of hot ass he saw, but none of us ever listened. I just put on my shorts because summer is here, and they don’t fucking fit me anymore, like I grew out of them our some shit and they have an elastic waistband, making me have dreams that I actually cared enough to do something about it at a gym where hot bitches squat of me all day. Maybe it will happen one day….

That day seems to already have come for Nicky Hilton, I guess in preperation of her sister being in jail, Nicky’s decided to take her place as the party slut in the public eye, like the runner up at a beauty contest, only this beauty contest isn’t for pretty people, it’s for Hiltons….or maybe now that Paris is too pre-occupied going to jail, she hasn’t been able to distract Nicky from getting to the gym and being the hotter sister, like she has the last 8 years by convincing her to eat donuts instead of doing crunches…That’s just Paris’ way…

Posted in:Ass|Nicky Hilton|Spandex|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Britney Spears Comeback Tour in Vegas Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

These are some shitty cellphone pics of Britney Spears lip syncing in Vegas as part of her attempt at a comeback, the show may have been a rip off and she may be insane now, but she’s still Britney Spears and at least she’s showing off her ass to distract us all from how lame this attempt to climb out of the gutter and back to the top of her game is.

I am costantly attacked by feminists, telling me how what I do is comparable to racism and that I am leading a horrible example to the 20 people who read the site, and I guess saying that at least Britney is showing us her ass fall into that category of objectifying women.

Reality is, I am not the motherfucker on stage showing the world my fucking ass, and if I was, I’d expect someone to comment on how fat it is. I have spent a lifetime trying to seduce girls and not being rich enough, or goodlooking enough, forcing me to end up with someone no one wanted, not even me, but the comfort of having someone there to care was enough for me to do it. You don’t see me sitting here hating on all the hot chicks for not wanting me, or thinking I was scum, in all reality, I am here begging for them to send me nudes.

So, what it all comes down to, is that I just want to have a good time, maybe have a few laughs, and talk a whole lot of shit about nothing important. If you are one to take my words for gospel and either take it home with you to throw at your own fat wife that you settled with, or who got fat after she hooked you in and was too tired to keep herself pretty, or if you are sitting there getting offended by what I have to say, all you have to do is click on the back button in your browser and leave your rants to your fucking self, because people that are that uptight, are people I don’t want to invite to my birthday party or to my comeback show at a shitty small venue….and if you motherfuckers decide to show up with camera phone pics, and decide to write slandering remarks about me, I am not going to cry about it and write a thesis for my gender studies class on how hard people are on me for having a cock.

2007

07

May

I am – Brooke Hogan Dancing Around in her Underwear of the Day

65 Comments »

I know that a girl in her underwear is enough to make you happy. I know that you’re one of those guys at the strip club who sits by the stage clapping and urging the bitches on. It’s people like you that fuck it up for the rest of us, because it gives them a false sense of worth, making them feel pretty and wanted and putting them on a some kind of ego trip, making them forget they are whores.

So these pictures of Brooke Hogan make you happy, because a girl in underwear is better than a girl in clothes especially on the internet.

When I look at these pictures, I just remember a fat girl trying to get skinny to have a career, and when she reached her ideal weight, she decided to get naked, in hopes of getting assholes like you, who are easy to fucking please at her show.

I am not saying I wouldn’t stuff her like a turkey if I had the chance, I am just saying that bitch has no business doing whatever it is that she does, and being Hulk Hogan’s shadow, is probably not a place anyone should be, because he’s a piece of Florida trash with big biceps, stupid hair and crazy pants….and she may not be wearing crazy pants, but bitch could probably beat the fuck out of me with legs like that. Ya’ Heard?

I forgot where I was going with this, because I am drunk, but I do hate people who cheer on strippers, because it makes getting a lap dance next to impossible….Cuddles….

2007

07

May

I am – Paris Hilton Panties in the Wind of the Day

1 Comment »

I had a few funny things to write about, because the weekend is over and I was away from the computer for most of it, but I am drunk and don’t remember much. I ended up climbing up the fire escape of some building, and ending up on the roof with 3 bottles of cheap wine. I am not sure how I made my way back down, but I survived.

I am hoping that Paris Hilton won’t survive her 45 days in jail, even though 45 days is more like a vacation than anything for her. She will get special treatment and will probably have a nicer cell than my apartment, and she probably won’t be allowed to hang out with the lesbian muderers and scum that fill up real jail, but part of me really hopes she is. I also hope that she meets some whore that opens her life up to real crime, propelling her into a life in the underbelly of society, denouncing her socialite ways, because I am tired of seeing this cunt all over the fucking place.

Here are some pic of her panties, a little more clothes than the communal showers will let her wear, and this sentence is a fucking celebration, you just haven’t realized it yet.

Again, I am wasted and don’t know what I just wrote, but hope you aren’t wearing pants when you read it…because that is part of the reason I write this piece of shit site….Cuddles….

2007

02

May

I am – Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace Bikini Pics of the Day

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These pictures aren’t much of a surprise, this girl is a total fucking whore who likes to get attention by getting naked in public. I don’t really know any girls like this and if I did, I’d probably hang out with her everyday even after it got fucking old because I can never really get bored of seeing the same drunken bitch flashing her cunt to the world.

The positive thing about this girl is that she’s pretty fucking authentic. She takes her slutty club girl way to the beach with her by rocking a bikini that is way too small for her and I guess it would be pretty homo of me to dis her for that. I think she should just keep doing what she’s doing, despite how predictable it is because it can never really get that boring….

Related Posts

I am – Aiseleyne Horgan-Wallace Flashing While Out

I am – Aiseleyne Horgan-Wallace Panty Upskirt Action

Posted in:Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace|Ass|Bikini|Tits|Unsorted

2007

02

May

I am – Anastacia on the Beach of the Day

1 Comment »

So it looks like Anastacia has been bitten by the big black cock and is dating one that fucks her fat blonde ass proper. I probably could have predicted this if I knew who the slut was, because she’s blonde and has a fat ass and blonde girls with fat asses love big black cock and big black cock seems to love blonde girls with fat asses too…

I went outside today, which was something I generally don’t do, but as soon as I opened a door there was some IRC action going down in my lobby. I know the concept of me having a lobby seems pretty luxurious, but it’s not the fucking Hilton here, my lobby consists of some broken mailboxes and a garbage can. Either way, these two fuckers were fully tounging the fuck out of each other’s throats and when I walked down the stairs they acted like I was some sick fuck who just walked into the bedroom on them. I told them that it was a nice show but next time I want more genital action and they just ran off. I assume they were teenagers skipping school, my morning IRC action was black chick on white dude, so it really has nothing to do with this Fat Ass Blonde/ Big Black Cock theory, but I’ll still post them here pictures. Cuddles.

Related Posts

I am – Anastacia in a Bikini 4 Years Ago

2007

02

May

I am – Sienna Miller's Nip Slip of the Day

No Comments »

I was going to post the whole Britney Topless in the Garden pictures but got a cease and desist warning before I even had a chance to finishing writing my post. Apparently some con artist piece of shit blogger who ripped off my URL name from me when we used to work together on this site and he saw how to easy it was to get assholes to check out your site and is making crazy bank off his site even though he writes like a piece of shit virgin who has never seen a vagina in person, not even at a strip club because he’s scared of those kinds of places, bought the rights to the pictures.

I don’t like lawsuits but I do like Sienna Miller and here she is rockin’ a shitty nipslip and stickin’ her ass out like she’s a baboon in heat.

Related Posts

I am – Sienna Miller Modeling When She Was 17

I am – Sienna Miller Naked in Factory Girl

I am – Sienna Miller Topless on the Beach

Posted in:Ass|Nipple Slip|Sienna Miller|Tits|Unsorted

2007

02

May

I am – Sienna Miller’s Nip Slip of the Day

11 Comments »

I was going to post the whole Britney Topless in the Garden pictures but got a cease and desist warning before I even had a chance to finishing writing my post. Apparently some con artist piece of shit blogger who ripped off my URL name from me when we used to work together on this site and he saw how to easy it was to get assholes to check out your site and is making crazy bank off his site even though he writes like a piece of shit virgin who has never seen a vagina in person, not even at a strip club because he’s scared of those kinds of places, bought the rights to the pictures.

I don’t like lawsuits but I do like Sienna Miller and here she is rockin’ a shitty nipslip and stickin’ her ass out like she’s a baboon in heat.