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Archive for the Bikini Category

2010

25

Jan

Miranda Kerr Lookin Good During Victoria’s Secret Shoot of the Day

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I assume the creative director at Victoria’s Secret is gay because they brought Miranda Kerr down to the beach but kept her fully clothed.
Any straight dude would be too busy setting up private meetings in their hotel room to discuss the inspiration of the shoot, you know getting her stripped down naked and explaining to her that she is replaceable no matter how much you like her look, making her understand that she’s going to have to really step up and get edgier because corporate’s getting bored of her, leading you to take some hot amateur porn pics of her, because she’s desperate to keep the best gig in modeling leaving you with one hand on the camera and the other jerking off all over her face….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Hot|Legs|Miranda Kerr|Tits

2010

25

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio Paddle Surfs in a Bikini of the Day

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Some people save up their money all year to get the chance to go on some really shitty, yet affordable All Inclusive resort. The kind of 2 star resort that has shittier conditions thatn Haiti. I’m talking run down, filled with racist trailer trash, with hepatitis ice cubes in the watered down drinks, only to get diarhea the first day of your trip and all your worldly possessions stolen the second day and a horrible sun burn the third day, setting you up for the worst fucking trip in history, but you won’t admit it because you saved all your money to go on this shit and there’s no way you’ll admit you had a bad time.

Other people get paid 5 times your yearly salary to do a photoshoot in the nice islands that don’t smell like AIDS, that also includes 5 star accommodations, gourmet meals and everything else that you could imagine on you dream vacation….because those people look like Alessandra Ambrosio and not like your wife or any of the trash that has let you put your dick in them. Life is unfair, get over it….

Here she is doing a little paddle surfing…..cuz she’s clearly a faggot….you know since paddle surfing was invented by faggots for faggots like Fubu but less black…even though the only people I knew who ever wore Fubu were white poor kids who got made when I’d tell them shit was made for black people…but you get what I mean….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini|Paddle Surf

2010

19

Jan

Whitney Port is Just As Useless in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

Here’s Whitney Port proving that she’s just as useless in a bikini as she is in the rest of her life, especially now that The Hills have been replaced by Jersey Shore, which is really funny if you think about it…mainly because it forces all these twats to come to terms with how much of a fucking joke they all are. Sure their 15 minutes lastest far too long for my liking, but I always knew the public would eventually get as annoyed as me and turn their back on them, because the public is pretty fucking fickle….

I harrass Whitney Port on twitter, she ignores me, and that makes me hate her sloppy pussy more, but today I will make a point of tormenting her with these pictures, destroying her little self esteem, putting her in a depression that she either deals with through addiction, Heidi Montag style plastic surgery, or suicide.

Just doin’ my part….

Pics via INF
Pics via Bauer


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Posted in:Bikini|Miami|Whitney Port

2010

18

Jan

Steve Martin’s Wife in a Bikini of the Day

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Here’s Steve Martin’s much younger wife lookin’ pretty old and weathered. I’m sure this belly wasn’t something he originally signed up for when he decided to be a bad man and fuck the shit out of this pretty much unknown pussy born in 1972 but I guess this is still better than being stuck married to a fat bitch who is his own age.

Pics via Fame


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Posted in:Anne Stringfield|Bikini|Steve Martin

2010

14

Jan

Penelope Cruz Ass in a Bikini of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz showing off her pretty hot ass while doin’ a little prostate tickle on the beach with her man because I guess she’s Spanish and a little more sexually liberated than your wife who you secretly want to get ass play from but you’re too scared your going to like it and go gay, cuz only fags like ass play, even though it’s scientifically proven to feel good.

Either way, she’s the only big nosed girl I find attractive cuz big noses are ugly. I’ve had my fair share of big nosed girls and it’s always ended in disaster, cuz when I try to shove my dick down their throats, I just get nose against my pelvis and the whole thing is a fucking disaster, but I guess you can only blame my small dick for that and the nice thing about Penelope Cruz is that she has worked a way around that by pullin’ out other tricks and here she is on the beach…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Penelope Cruz

2010

13

Jan

Alessandra Ambrosio in Some Candid Bikini Pics of the Day

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Alessandra Ambrosio is just one of those girls who really has it going on, she still looks more solid than pretty much any girl I’ve ever seen, except maybe the bitch with the eating disorder and speed addiction who had a real solid body, but her yellow skin, lesions and missing teeth kinda lose out to Ambrosio in the beauty pageant…

I just can’t believe she recenlty shat out a kid and maintained a body like this, it goes again my theory that babies ruin pussy, but then again, we don’t know how much tape she’s got holding her uterus in place….

So here are some candid pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio for some test shoot before the actual photoshoot and the bitch looks amazing.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini

2010

13

Jan

Erin McNaught is Miss Australia 2006 in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t know who this McNaught bitch is but her name reminds me of a group of frat guys hitting on a girl. You know, that whole Naught McNaughterson bullshit that seriously peisses me off whenever I hear it when I am Drunky McDrunkerson at college bars because of the driunk specials and I am surrounded by Cunty McCunterson’s cuz cheap drink specials usually brings out the trash, along with the socially awkward and the fucking lame, something that comes with the territory of being a hurtbag like me, but at least McNaught is wearing a white bikini – that shit has been historically a fetish of mine thanks to its ability to get wet and see thru….cuz I am a pervert who doesn’t get enough female attention….so if you are reading this and have a vagina you should really step up your game and stroke my hair and tell me how pretty I am….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bikini|Erin McNaught|Miss Australia 2006

2010

13

Jan

Hugh Jackman Gets Attacked by a Fat Black Girl of the Day

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I am guessing Hugh Jackman wasn’t in Haiti, but it looks like he was dealing with a Caribbean Earthquake of his own and she looked fucking eager and ready to take him out like he was a school, hospital and all the shanties in the fucking town. Maybe I’m just overreacting, but when I see when some chubby chick coming at me, I get nervous, but it’s probably because my wife is fat and anytime she has this kind of conviction in her swagger, it usually means she wants to fuck…..

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Black|Hugh Jackman

2010

11

Jan

Minka Kelly in her Bikini of the Day

3 Comments »

Her name is Minka Kelly, I’ve heard her name but never really bothered figuring out who she is, but it turns out she’s engaged to Derek Jeter, the star athlete who has fucked pretty much every bitch in Hollywood, probably because when you get herpes from someone, it’s easier to stay with them than to have that awkward conversation with new girls you date, since getting laid is hard enough in the world without having herpes suprises, which I guess also explains why Minka Kelly is airing out her cunt and soaking it in salt water, I hear it’s one of the Doctor’s Books of Home Remedies for the shit….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Minka Kelly

2010

08

Jan

Victoria Silvstedt Still in Her Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »

I guess I don’t hate Victoria Silvstedt as much as I say that I do, because I still manage to post on her when she is in her bikini, sure she’s the only person the paparazzi are getting pictures of in her bikini because everyone else has gone back to work….So despite her trying to sue me and ruin me early on in the life of this site and years of bitter commentary about her, I think I’ve finally got over the anger because I know she knows she is old and her plastic surgery is aging weirdly, that she doesn’t have talent or a real career, I know she knows all she has going for her is her body and even that is getting older and less relevant, I know she’s decided to be a whore on salary for some midget billionaire who uses her for his weird fetishes he can’t pull on his wife and I guess that means she realizes that she’s nothin’ special, the worthless bottom of the barrel, so talking about her or letting you jerk off to her is more about me doing community service, you know saving a broken soul and reminding her that despite not getting jobs, people still care enough to jerk off to her and I guess that’s my way of thanking her for ruining herself and becoming a little more humble. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still a fuckin’ cunt, just a broken one and I’ve always loved broken cunt….and here she is showing off hers in a white bikini…my favorite…

Pics via INF

Posted in:Bikini|Victoria Silvstedt