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Archive for the Bikini Category

2009

10

Jul

Monica Cruz is in Ibiza in a Bikini of the Day

3 Comments »

Monica Cruz is in a bikini in Ibiza and I’m not. She is the bootleg version of Penelope Cruz/her younger sister, only she comes without the offensively big nose and has a better body, but you know is insecure as shit because she lives her life in the shadow of her Oscar winning sister, meaning her inadequacies in life convert nicely into over compensation when sucking on a dick. Keep aiming to please, maybe one day you’ll figure out a way to come out on top and beat your cunt sister you pretend to love, but deep down inside know you hate…

Posted in:Bikini|Ibiza|Monica Cruz

2009

10

Jul

Hayden Panettiere In Details Wearing a Bikini of the Day

3 Comments »

Hayden Panettiere would like to thank the photoshop artist for removing her Adam’s Apple and her scrotum pussy lip slip in this bikini photoshoot for Details. I’m not saying she’s a man, I’m just saying she’s got more testosterone than a man and that slowly makes her body transform into some hybrid gender. The good news is that despite the impending male pattern baldness, she’s got the sex drive of a fuckin’ 30 year old fat chick who hasn’t been fucked since she was 18 and has been wanting to ever since, and it doesn’t make you gay, even when she makes you suck her clit like it was a preschooler’s dick. I don’t know how I feel about using “prechooler’s dick” in a sentence, but I just did it. I guess I’m crazy.

Posted in:Bikini|Details|Hayden Panettiere

2009

10

Jul

Kendra Wilkinson’s Pregnant Ass in a Bikini of the Day

5 Comments »

I assume whoever Kendra Wilkinson is making a half-breed kid with is either a rapper or athlete, because girls like her don’t date black dudes unless they are rich because she’s a fuckin’ hooker piece of trash proven both by the fact that she was dating a senior citizen when she was 20 for money and status and but also proven by the shotgun wedding she had a few weeks ago because that is the only kind of wedding her people really understand.

Here she is on the beach with her pregnant body in a bikini, speaking of strippers who made it, I was supposed to go to the stripclub last night, where I was going to pretend I worked for a big entertainment company, to get them to give me free auditions in the lap dance booth and get their hopes up, because I’ve learned that all strippers hope some knight in shining armor will come in and give them a better life and I am so down with playin off that.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Kendra Wilkinson|Pregnant

2009

10

Jul

Amy Winehouse’s Hot Bikini Body of the Day

2 Comments »

Amy Winehouse is still turning me the fuck on in St Lucia. I just look at her rotting mouth and imagine the condition of her pussy and go fuckin’ nuts on myself. To make things even more exhilarating she looks like she’s been knocked the fuck up on her sabbatical from life by one of her black cabana boys who has been following her around knowing marrying that will lead to a better life, especially since she’ll be dead in a few years and on the they don’t care about how fuckin sloppy she is, as long as she’s white, shit is hot enough for them and her shit is hot enough for me to so fuck you to all the haters…

Good morning. Today is going to be a glorious day..

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bikini

2009

08

Jul

Victoria’s Silvstedt from Behind of the Day

2 Comments »

If a bitch is in a bikini, I might as well be staring at her ass, because I like a good ass better than good tits any day, especially when the bitch in the bikini is rockin’ fake tits, cuz anyone can have fake tits, they don’t impress me at all, they cost 5,000 dollars and I’m sure even I could find 5,000 dollars to get fake tits if I really wanted them, it’s nothing exclusive, if anything, it’s only desperate and pathetic, you know the girl all insecure, thinking tits will make her happy and take her out of the shitty life she’s living, because without fake tits they can’t fuck their boyfriends topless, they can’t wear bikinis or revealing clothes and they can’t make a solid 10 dollars a song at the strip club cuz there aren’t enough closet faggots there to pay to rub their little boy nipples, until one day cracking and deciding it’s time to put an end to the superficial suffering…..it is time to be respected for what they are meant to be respected for and that is not their mind or ideas…but the size of their bra…

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Victoria Silvstedt

2009

07

Jul

Steffi Graf in Her Bikini of the Day

3 Comments »

Tennis star Steffi Graf was out with her kids in a bikini.

I’ve edited her kids out of the pictures because I don’t want your kind here, but I didn’t edit out her nose, despite how hard I tried. Mainly because I can’t get off to bitches with sails on their faces, shit throws me off, especially when I realize that that nose was the reason she was so successful in tennis, you know used it as a distraction to her opponents who would get thrown off and stare at her face instead of keeping their head in the game, wondering if she was actually human or some kind of caricature they saw at the boardwalk coming to life is some kind of acid flashback….

Either way, her body is shit for a pro-athlete.

Posted in:Bikini|Steffi Graf

2009

07

Jul

Lindsay Lohan in her Bikini at Some Malibu Photobooth of the Day

3 Comments »

I have come to terms with the fact that my internet love affair with Lohan has finally come to an end, it was an internet fling that lasted a couple of weeks when her and Ronson were broken up, and now that everything is back in order at the lesbian factory in either of their pants, neither have time to answer my emails, or to follow me/respond to me on twitter. Maybe I am annoying and update too many retarded things too consistently, but I like to think it’s got more to do with them being no sense of humor, uptight, take themselves too seriously, cunts.

I wasn’t really all that broken up about it, I was trying to get Lohan jumping on a trampoline in a bikini on video, figuring she could use the exposure and it could be a role of her lifetime, but instead I just have these pictures of her partying at a Malibu beach house gettin’ her photo taken with her friends, like they fuckin’ matter.

It’s on some just because there’s a camera there, I need to get in front of it, cuz I am Lindsay Lohan and I’ll make everyone love me kick, well maybe next time she should do it jumping on a trampoline, in video, for me. I mean if she ever decides to rekindle our internet love like I was Sam Ronson and she was obsessed with my vagina-shaped cock.

Here are the pics.

Posted in:Bikini|Lindsay Lohan|Photobooth

2009

06

Jul

Victoria Silvstedt and Her Bikini on the Beach of the Day

3 Comments »

This cunt tried to sue me years because there was a time when pictures were fuckin scandalous and not played out, repetitive and boring, where you’d get leaked pussy pictures, or tit pictures and you’d be excited to share them with the rest of the internet, because let’s face it, some of us don’t have much going on in our lives, but now, it’s all been seen, it’s all been done, and no one sends me lawyer’s letters anymore, because there are too many sites out there spewing the same shit and these d-listers don’t get all sensitive anymore, but instead appreciate being talked about. There’s no fun when you’re just a tool in their toolbox of fame, I did this to slander these people and not help them, and on that note, I’m going to go show teen girls my dick to remind myself that I’ve still got creep in my pants….

Posted in:Bikini|Victoria Silvstedt

2009

06

Jul

Ashley Tisdale Slutting Out in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Ashley Tisdale teachin the kids about pre-marital sex because we all know going on romantic getaways to Hawaii with your homeboy that you’re making out with on the beach always leads to going back to the room and having some hardcore fuck session that involves Tisdale on all fours with a dick in her pussy and a champagne bottle in her ass, because her putting out dirty is the only thing that would explain why a motherfucker would be with her, you know lookin at her all day wondering why the fuck he’s with this bitch, how he got with her and remembering that it’s cuz she’s always donw to fuck, which I guess is really the life philosophy of all ugly chicks, cuz as long as you give a dude constant sex, dude will come back for more…and make you feel more loved than you actually are…because he’ll never marry your ugly face, but he will cum on it. Truth.

BONUS – CLOSE UP OF HER SHITTY FACE….

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Bikini

2009

30

Jun

Jessica Stroup Legs with Some Ugly Bikini Girls of the Day

4 Comments »

Who the fuck is Jessica Stroup? Why is she famous, or at least famous enough to be on the paparazzi sites, and why is she posing for pictures with some weird lookin’ girls who probably don’t deserve to be laughed at and who are probably still glowin’with excitement from being in the right place and right time allowing them to meet this whore, only to have a prick like me degrade them and their experience on the internet, fuckin’ with their self-esteem and raining on their parade…all in hopes that they turn into Craigslist whores, becaue Craigslist whores are the best deal on the internet.

Posted in:Bikini|Jessica Stroup