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Archive for the Bikini Category

2009

21

Jul

Lady Victoria Hervey’s Inbred Royal Body on the Beach of the Day

I read that this “girl” was a model at one point in her life and if that’s the fucking case, it only happened because of her family. They are some UK Royalty or some shit and I guess opens a few doors for a bitch who looks like she was either born premature or who didn’t get enough oxygen coming out of the womb forcing her natural development to slow the fuck down, cuz lookin at these pictures of her asymmetric, uneven breasts, I believe the whole Royalty is generations and generations of inbreeding, cuz you gotta keep the blood blue and her sex appeal to potential rapists way the fuck down. If anything her dog should be walking her. Old, bad joke, I know. But it’s true. He’s the only thing worth fuckin’ in the picture and I don’t even like fuckin’ dogs, unless I am really desperate and they are strays cuz I know they won’t tell on me.

Posted in:Bikini|Lady Victoria Hervey

2009

20

Jul

Lisa Rinna’s Weathered Body Rocks a Bikini of the Day

You know when your favorite pair of leather shoes you bought at the Salvation Army because you liked the idea of wearing a pair of shoes someone may have likely died in, not to mention becaue it is all you can really afford, and they seemed like they were in good enough condition, other than the smell of some other asshole’s foot fungus still lingering in the shit, but you wear those fuckers religiously, because walking outside without shoes is disgusting, and because they are your only fuckin’ pair. You slowly develop a relationship with them and as time goes on you actually start developing feelings. It’s like your trusty old shoes will get you over that puddle, or through that broken class, and you’ll do your best to make sure you don’t piss on them, or throw up on them, you know, taking the fuckers under your fucking wing and then one day you realize all the wear and tear is getting to them, so you buy some shoe goo in hopes of rebuilding your buddy, because you aren’t ready to say goodbye. That bandaid solution works for a while but you realize the leather is getting hard for some reason, like it’s old and dried up and there’s nothing you can do. You rub leather oil on it, you try you best to keep it alive, until one day it is too late and the whole thing falls the fuck apart. What was once a perfect fitting shoe some other asshole owned, is now some loose, floppy, dead cow on your fuckin’ feet and there’s nothing you can do about. No surgery to save it and you just have to accept that your time together is over….Well that’s kinda what’s happening to Lisa Rinna’s plastic surgery body, what looks rough and tough like leather is just some sloppy vile mess and soon she’ll have to accept the one-piece bathing suit when she hangs out at the beach…because her stomach is offensive.

Pics Via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Lisa Rinna

2009

20

Jul

Whitney Port is a Dump in her Bikini of the Day

I wonder what Whitney Port’s dad does for a living. I assume he’s in the industry because that’d be the only reason anyone would give a bitch like her a chance. That’s not to say she didn’t suck dick to the top, it is to say she’s more useless than a bloody tampon, and I’m not just saying that because she’s on The Hills, my least favorite thing in TV history, I’m saying it cuz watermelon would be a hotter fuck than her….mainly cuz a watermelon has more shape than this dump.

Speaking of suckin dick, I hope she’s got that shit down proper, because she is the kind of girl you only date because you are blinded by the constant blowjobs, and you don’t notice her shitty lookin’ body.

Speaking of The Hills, I made friends with three 17 year old girls who were all dressed the same while wasted on saturday night. They were on a busy street taking a pee beind a fucking bush and I decided to join them. They weren’t too impressed but I think one of them wiped their pee covered hand on mine, a moment I will cherish til the end of time….

Posted in:Bikini|Whitney Port

2009

20

Jul

Annalynne McCord’s Bikini Birthday Party of the Day

I get that Annalynne McCord’s mastered the real secret of staying in the Paparazzi’s lens and securing her celebrity for being on a shitty TV show, and that’s by wearing a bikini as often as she can because bikini pictures get picked up everywhere and people talk about you, sure it’s a cheap strategy, but the only other thing that will get her on this site is if she’s got a sex tape or is flashing her tits and pussy, because despite appreciating the fact that she’s skinny, I just can’t handle that stupid fucking face and dopey lookin’ mouth all teeth and smiles, shit’s ugly and the only way I can look past that is if I am lookin’ at her other lips…you know her LABIA lips….

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Bikini|Birthday

2009

17

Jul

Ashley Tisdale’s Ugly Bikini Stills From Some Movie of the Day

If you’ve been to the site before, which for your sake I hope you haven’t, because even while I write it, I know it is just a waste of time and noise that you can easily turn off by blocking the site in your browser, but if you have been to the site before, you’ll know that I can’t stand Ashley Tisdale or her face.

I don’t know what it is about her, maybe the fact that she’s 30 and pretends to be a highschool student, that shit has always fucked with my head though and maybe I should take shit up with Disney and ask them to stop kidnapping the underdeveloped kids and casting them in their shows, and instead get them the proper hormonal treatment they deserve.

I also hate that her face doesn’t deserve to be on TV, yet she walks around like some kind of celebrity, and for the sake of humanity, I think someone needs to tell her otherwise, because if you never give a cunt a reality check, or a reminder that she’s still that awkward big nosed scrawny twat no one wanted to fuck with, and just because teenage girls everywhere think you’re a god and you have a little money, doesn’t mean you aren’t the piece of shit you know you are deep down inside….

Here she is in a bikini in some stills from some movie she was in because executives see dollar signs and not the truth. Unfortunately, dude didn’t drop her on her head or “accidentally” drown her, I feel that’d be her hottest look….

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Bikini|Movie|Ugly

2009

16

Jul

Pam Anderson Eating Ice Cream in a Bikini of the Day

I know a maintenance man in Boston who was at working at some conference and Pam Anderson was one of the “stars” who was there promoting some bullshit product and doing some autograph signing/meet and greet/ anything for money and dude told me she looked like a haggard piece of expired meat you find in the back of your fridge, not sure if you’ll die if you eat it, so you just throw it out and this motherfucker is known to have pretty bad fuckin’ taste in women, making me think the disgusting mess you see in these pictures, is only a fraction of the disgusting mess she actually is, as pictures tend to know show off the plastic surgery scar or scent of AIDS.

I am not sure why she’s with some chachi 14 year old soccer lookin’ dude, maybe it’s her son with Tommy Lee, who is clearly really fuckin’ rock and roll, like his dumpster parents, I mean if rock and roll was Homosexulaity on the beaches of Greece…

Here she is at some Press Conference….and by “she” I mean here are her hard nipples at a Press Conference….

Posted in:Bikini|Ice Cream|Pam Anderson

2009

15

Jul

Some 90210 Trash on the Beach Almost in Bikinis of the Day

The aspiring actors who are doing their training on the set of 90210 in some kind of paid internship were shooting on the beach, because they aren’t real actors yet, but they sure as hell are trying to be.

They weren’t wearing their bikinis, but Annalynne brought her monkey lookin’ ass out in something that shows off her skinny stomach, which is something some of you girls out there should look at closely then stand in front of a mirror to compare to what your stomach, to realize why she is on TV and you’re not, you fat piece of shit.

This Annalynne bitch proves everyday that you don’t have to have looks to get ahead, you just have to not be a fatass. So all you young girls take that in and think about it the next time you go out for ice cream you fuckin pigs. The only way a fat chick would get on 90210 would be to be made fun of by the skinny chicks and no one wants to be that girl.

Bonus – Here are other phony actors on the set of Gossip Girls trying to show the 90210 chicks up. They need to fight in a lesbian fisting death match….because Hollywood’s not big enough for this much talentless pussy…

Posted in:90210|Annalynne McCord|Beach|Bikini|Trash

2009

14

Jul

Andrea Bocelli and Veronica Berti on the Beach of the Day

It seems like kind of waste that a blind dude would be engaged to a body like this considering he can’t actually see her and doesn’t have to stare at her face all fucking day. I always thought ugly chicks were designed for the blind and the whole reason blindness existed was to give disgusting bitches hope, but throw in some fame, money and a voice of an angel, and all of a sudden his disability becomes totally irrelevant and she can see past it, while he can’t see past much, but at least has a some hot tits and a fat ass to play with and here she is in a bikini….

Sure girls in bikinis are exciting, at least more exciting than girls fully clothed, I mean depending on the girl, because no matter how perverted I am, there is some pussy I like to keep off fuckin’ limits because seeing it is bad for my fuckin’ soul. But I find the whole bikini thing a little played out and I am only a new fetish and that’s getting down to 1920s style bathing suits but that’s just cuz I used to jerk off to my granny’s vacation pics when I would spend my summers with her as a 12 year old boy discovering myself…..I mean, Damn these are some hot pics….

Posted in:Andrea Bocelli|Beack|Bikini|Veronica Berti

2009

13

Jul

Ali Landry Hangin’ on the Beach with Topless Chicks of the Day

It looks like Ali Landry is on the “Get in the Tabloid to Show Off My Mom Body Kick”, so she hired a paparazzi agency to follow her to the beach, where she posed and played in the sand with her daughter in hopes of tricking everyone into thinking she’s just this cheery and posing when she’s on the beach with her daughter, so that they publish her picture as a “hot mom body of 2009” hopefully to add some fuel to her career, like any desperate has-been who was only known for her looks would do as her celebrity status dwindled down to pretty much nothing, but her bank account is still intact because she married some rich motherfucker as wallet fuckers tend to do.

Here she is with her topless daughter cuz it’s never too young to teach them how to make a dollar or at least show them how mommy got famous. Next weeks lesson is on the gag reflex….

Pics via FAME

Posted in:Ali Landry|Beach|Bikini|Topless

2009

10

Jul

Katy Perry Bikini Pictures of the Day

I don’t know what’s got into me today, but after months of severe hatred and disgust for Katy Perry, I came across these bikini pictures and found them almost hot. Maybe I’m desperately horny, maybe I’m over the fact that I hate her and her music, or maybe I’m just getting tricked by her tits, and I guess I have no choice but to share this horrible turning point in my life with you.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Katy Perry