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Archive for the Bikini Category

2008

28

Jul

Kim Kardashian Big Tits in a Bikini for McDonalds of the Day

13 Comments »

Kim the Urinal was living out a childhood dream this past weekend and that was to be invited to a McDonald’s event to pose with the biggest Big Mac ever. I hear she demanded that they pay her in food and not money, because she’s got enough money but can never get enough food.

The truth is that Kim Kardashian is the kind of Fat Chick McDonald’s has been searching the world over for. They wanted a spokesperson for the brand that despite being 50 pounds overweight and rockin’ the obesity BMI, she’s still got dudes everywhere jerking off to her because her Big Macs go straight to her big ass and big tits, that’s why she’s in a bikini top.

Unfortunately, the only Special Sauce Kim Kardashian is really into comes out of black cock, so I’d say put that on your Big Mac and eat it, but the truth is that they’re more into fuckin’ watermelon and fat blonde chicks.

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian|McDonalds

2008

25

Jul

Brooke Hogan Bikini By The Pool of the Day

19 Comments »

I was talking to someone about Brooke Hogan’s staged bikini pictures yesterday, not because I talk about any of this shit outside of my computer, but because I was bitching about staged paparazzi shit. I mean there was a time when celebs actually hated the paparazzi and didn’t just pretend to hate them. A time where there were actually being intruded on and caught in the fuckin’ act, but that was a different era. Today all people care about is being seen and usually to make that happen you need to pull a crazier stunt than the next guy. That usually ends up in sex tapes and bikini pictures, nipple slips and panty shots.

It’s kinda like everytime I’m in a bar and trying to get a girls attention, only there are 10 other dudes up on her running the nice guy game, so the only way to make sure she remembers me is to offend her or throw my drink on her or punch her in the face because I have no plan to go home with the girl or buy her drinks, I just feel the need for her to know who I am.

So the fun of trying to ruin celebrity lives runs to the wayside/wasteside, because they are staging this shit themselves because it generates buzz and that sucks, but not as much as it sucks to be the guy banging Brooke Hogan because he hasn’t come to terms with his sexuality and I feel like living a lie is worse that taking it up the ass. She kind of the gateway girl to coming out, at least she’s finally found her purpose.

Here she is in a bikini….this time without her dad rubbing her down , or playing around and hanging from trees like a 5 year old ….which makes them pretty boring because a life without childhood behavior caused by a life of incest between father and daughter is a life not worth livin’….

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan|Miami

2008

24

Jul

Britney Spears in Some Backyard Bikini Pics of the Day

8 Comments »

The paparazzi managed to climb some trees and get these pictures of Britney in a bikini because they are criminals. I am just posting them because I have to, it’s like sex with my wife…every once in a while you gotta give in to the disgusting that is her vagina, as to not throw off the stability and constant comfort that is my life. I figure if I don’t go down on her pink little trash can of a pussy every couple of months, she’ll cut me off and the free ride will end and I’ll have to leave the site and work a normal job and support myself and that’s something I would rather eat gross pussy than do. So here’s some Britney slowly bouncing back to something good…real fuckin’ slowly bouncing back…but bouncing nonetheless…

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears

2008

24

Jul

Brooke Hogan Rocks a Bikini in Some Staged Pictures of the Day

28 Comments »

Yesterday’s news was that Brooke Hogan hasn’t turned down an offer to show off her manly muscles in Playboy. I originally thought it was weird that she was entertaining the offer, not because she doesn’t need the publicity push since her heyday is pretty much expired and is already a hasbeen before ever really being anyone, but because her dad’s always against her pictures being “too sexy” for lad mags and shows up on set to make sure everything is at the acceptable level of slut.

An insider close to the family told me that Hulk actually approached Playboy because Brooke is finally starting to catch onto the fact that it’s not normal for him to watch her and masturbate while she showers or for him to hide in the closet while and watch her as she fucks or even for him to “accidentally” walk in on her everytime she’s changing, and he just wants to have some photographic tastefully shot images that he can sneak into the bathroom with him whenever he needs to get off without having to deal with Brooke’s questions when she realizes his behavior’s been inappropriate.

I heard that he even thought about hiring a photographer to do the shots for him, but without sound reason or purpose, the photographer refused the job because it was creepy and this is Playboy shit is his last real option to cum to his little girl’s pussy hair and make some money in the process….

Either way, here are some staged bikini pictures because this girl is trying hard, and the whole staged pictures phenomenon really takes away from the joy of posting candid shots that I used to love doing. It’s like the publicists caught on to the fact that sexy or sleazy gets noticed and they decided to fabricate sexy or sleazy situations in hopes of getting the same results, but it’s just too fucking obvious and breaks my heart in doing what I do.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan

2008

24

Jul

Playboy Bikini Fashion Show of the Day

10 Comments »

Playboy merchandise and branding reminds me of the stripper version of Ed Hardy. It’s like the same misguided tacky club bitches who wear Ed Hardy shit today, were the girls getting the Playboy bunny tattooed to their hip 3 years ago and the girls who are rockin’ Playboy shit today are just really behind the fuckin’ curve on being a trashy whore, and are probably from small towns and spend their nights working the local strip club.

These are the girls who wear tight decorative jeans, have bleached hair and show off their tits all the fucking time and you figure they’d love suckin’ dick but realize that if you have enough money, you can find out for yourself and when you do, you realize that they are actually the worst fucks around because they party too hard and get too much male attention to bother putting any effort in. They are the same girls who have ragged faces and look like they are 35 but when you get drunk enough to approach them, you realize it’s their 22nd birthday but for obvious reasons, we all love them.

Here are some pictures of Playboy’s new swimwear line for sluts everywhere and for the record, I love sluts and don’t really care how tacky a pussy is because as long as there’s a pussy, I’m happy.

Posted in:Bikini|Playboy

2008

24

Jul

The Rest of the Vanessa Hudgens July 4th Bikini Party of the Day

7 Comments »

I already posted some of the pictures of Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Effron’s bikini clad romantic vacation that was really just another acting job commissioned by Disney to help properly promote the couple as being wholesome and legit. So there’s no real reason to go off saying the same shit over again with these added pictures. The truth is I am tired of reading about how Effron’s a fag, or a girl, or whatever everyone is saying about him, not because I feel like the media is being mean to him, but because it is possible that dude’s just into singing, dancing, shopping, doing his hair and counting all the fucking money he makes by having teenage girls everywhere learn how to masturbate thinking of him. The truth is that he could be railing this Hudgens bitch, he may be the dude who popped her cherry both vaginally and anally, maybe he makes her eat pussy for him, maybe he makes her fuck black dudes while he jerks off, maybe they aren’t wholesome at all, and are in fact teenage perverts and have had 15 abortions like they were the black chick on The View and it could be all be because he is corrupting her into being the slut that she is.

Until I see pictures of dick in this dude’s mouth, I am going to just focus on the fact that dude’s doin’ something right by playing the feminine guy girls can relate to, and it’s opened lots of legs for him, not that I like Hudgens, but because I like teenage girls masturbating thinking of me.

Posted in:Bikini|Vanessa Hudgens

2008

23

Jul

Anna Kournikova in Some Bikini Photoshoot Outtakes of the Day

19 Comments »

Anna Kournikova put professional tennis on the map for me, because before her, I didn’t think girls played sports. Sure there was figure skating, synchronized swimming, dancing and doing the laundry, but nothing I wanted anything to do with. I mean I had accidentally seen lesbian Martina Navratilova playing once before Anna hit the scene, but she wasn’t really a good selling point for the highly sexual nature of the sport and just made me believe I was watching some kind of gender war where a man in a skirt dominated the court sent the girl on the other side of the net back to her husband to make babies because there was no place for her in sports. That was more of a fight for a cause and not as much of the erotic experience of seeing a tight bodied Russian girl whimper her way out of communism with her solid swing, panty ass flashing and grunts that were reminiscent of a girl losing her anal virginity.

Here she is, still going strong, still tight bodied, in a bikini for a magazine photoshoot.

Speaking of girls in sports – here’s the WNBA Fight everyone’s been talking about – not that girls in the WNBA are actually girls, but it’s still worth a watch.

Posted in:Anna Kournikova|Bikini|Outtakes

2008

23

Jul

Sophie Monk is Hot in a Bikini of the Day

9 Comments »

I know that you’re an easy sell when it comes to girls, because you’ve reached that point of desperation. Like the dude I saw hitting on this tight bodied 18 year old the other night. Dude had money, he was probably married and he walked up to her to tell her that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Being drunk, I decided to intervene and show this dude up, so I step in and tell him that he just did a good job, but we all know that he’s so tired of his wife that a plate of raw meet before he BBQ’s for his wife of 20 years and 3 kids turns him on at this point. That strategy worked against me, because the girl said I was disgusting and went to the bar with him, so I guess I was the real loser in the situation.

Speaking of losers, Sophie Monk must really feel like one. She fell for Good Charlotte twin because I can only assume he was huge in her home country of Australia, she dated him until they became engaged, because I guess she thought he was sincere since she was the first hot pussy he ever landed and all the other good lookin’ dudes out there were just out for her pussy cuz she’s hot. Then dude gets cocky and turns on her by fucking Paris Hilton, what must be a huge blow to the “other” girl in the situation’s ego. Sure Paris is spoiled and a master manipulator who knows how to get what she wants and he was just overwhelmed that girls wanted his fat ass and had a false sense of how desirable he was and felt the need to capitalize on all opportunities that present themselves. His behavior left him covered in herpes and unable to explain the “rash” to Monk, getting busted and dumped and forced to go back to the trash Hilton that he is probably going to be stuck to for life, because of their STD bond that other girls won’t want any of and that he can’t deny cuz shit’s all over the fucking media.

The good news is that through all this, Sophie Monk has still managed to stay hot and here she is in a bikini.

Posted in:Bikini|Sophie Monk|Tits

2008

23

Jul

Ana Obregon Bikini Pictures of the Day

7 Comments »

Here’s the pictures I know you’ve all been waiting for of Ana Obregon in a bikini, because you are her biggest fan and can’t get enough of her 56 year old Spanish Ass and ever since that one appearance she made on Who’s the Boss in the 80s, you’ve been ready. She’s been in tabloids for fucking David Beckham, which is only surprising to me because I thought he was into cock, and she only looks like she may have a cock since she’s in a bikini and dudes don’t really wear bikinis as often as you’d like.

I was sitting getting on my stoop the other day and I saw 2 sets of hot mother daughter combos, I am talking mothers and daughters shopping together, and both look like something you’d get down with fucking. One was a set of Russian immigrants and the other was an anorexic, fake blonde, plastic surgery ravaged Jewish woman with her two daughters she was trying to train into following her slut lead by telling them their pants weren’t tight enough. The closest I’ve ever had to a mother daughter threesome is the time my wife sucked me off as I sniffed my stepdaughter’s panties discreetly. It counts to me.

Here’s Ana Obregon.

Posted in:Ana Obregon|Bikini

2008

23

Jul

Gabrielle Reece Rock’s a Bikini Top and Show’s Some Tit’s of the Day

8 Comments »

So I just happened to come across this comment on a previous post by some loser named Doug. This is what Doug wrote:

When you say “Traci Bingham and her Melon’s of the Day� what you are really saying is “Traci Bingham and her Melon is of the Day�
Go back to grade school you moron.

Doug. No, I’m not trying to say that her melon is of the day, but I am trying to be like hip hop and create my own kind of speaking that kids everywhere will rip off. I have no problem reinventing the language and making it work for me one post at a time. I don’t really have the patience to care about proper and constrictive and boring use of the english language, they shit is for the suburban people who do what they are told and don’t know how to live unless it’s in a guideline rulebook.

The fact that you would spell check posts on my site, let alone any fucking site leads me to believe that you just can’t let loose and appreciate the big picture, who really cares if I slip up on a you’re and your, their and there, melon’s or melons, you should learn how to read past typos and get the overall concept behind the post instead of going to the trouble to email me or comment about me, calling me a moron about the shit like you’re my fucking English teacher who I tried to poison in High School for pulling the same stunt. I am not educated, I am an immigrant, I have lived on the street, but throwing in an apostrophe wasn’t really representative of that, because even an uneducated person knows the fuckin’ difference, and it’s really got nothing to do with being a moron and more to do with not editing posts no one reads, except for maybe the occasional hater like you.

Either way, it doesn’t really matter, I just get annoyed when people bother me with instructions and point out typos, not because it makes me feel inadequate, but it reminds me that this site reaches the people I don’t really want it to.

Here are some pictures of Gabrielle Reece showing off her Beach Volleyball tits like shit was the early 90s. I never liked her, I always thought she looked too much like a dude and have had some weird nightmares of her and Brooke Shield’s slapping dicks, but dick or not, she does have tits in a bikini top and is staying true to her hangin’ on the beach past with her big wave surfing husband, legendary Laird Hamilton, and I guess I gotta stay true to my shit and post it.

Posted in:Bikini|Gabrielle Reece|Tits|TitsGabrielle Reece|Top