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Archive for the Bikini Category

2008

22

Jul

Mick Jagger’s Daughter Georgia May in a Bikini of the Day

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Her name is Georgia May and she’s Mick Jagger’s 16 or 17 year old daughter with Jerry Hall. She’s a model and here she is in her bikini on vacation with her boyfriend, something I suggest all 16 or 17 year old’s do without their parent’s supervision because it makes teenage pregnancy that much more possible and I fucking love teenage pregnancy, almost as much as I love hangin outside abortion clinics to pretend I am pro-life just to help add guilty feelings to young sluts at an impressionable guilt ridden time. It’s my part in making the world a better place.

The truth is that rich kids grow up faster than middle class kids, they are on their own while their parents are out doing rich people things, they are raised by their nannies that they don’t really feel any major responsibility to, and they are given lots of money to shut them up, keep them occupied and fund all their cries for attention like running away from home, drug addiction and sympathising with kidnappers. That’s why most rich girls have vaginas of 47 year old prostitutes by the time they are 15 and you’ll know that I am right the second that Miley Cyrus sex tape hits and that I don’t post because it’s not worth going to jail again.

Either way, here is Georgia May in all her youthful fertility and experimental sex drive on the beach in a bikini when her parents are no where to be found…..

Posted in:Bikini|Daughter|Mick Jagger

2008

22

Jul

Joanna Krupa at the Ed Hardy Bikini Fashion Show of the Day

4 Comments »

I fucking hate Ed Hardy and everyone who wears it. I don’t know what it is about decorative, colorful vintage tattoo lookin’ shirts that cheesy tanned, gym-bound mainstream club goers get boners for but I like to think it’s just because shit’s expensive, celebrities wear it and I blame Hollywood.

It’s like if they don’t realize that a t-shirt costs 3 dollars at most blank and 20 dollars at most finished even with the use of every single possible type of silk screening or graphic application technology that one shirt can handle but shouldn’t because shit ends up looking like one of my cum shots after a bout with an STD, you know tainted with blood, mucus and shaped like a skull in a top hat because the fever is making me delusional, and are paying upwards of 300 dollars to just fit in.

This is the product of the success of the Von Dutch movement that targeted the same poser, Grey Goose bottle whoring, big bicep dudes and club slut fake tit girls they recruit at the tanning salon, who listen to Bob Sinclair and who don’t have any concept of what’s actually going on in the world, but know that all their friends are rockin’ it and so are the celebrities and that must mean it’s good. They don’t realize that dude realized that magic formula where you can get celebs to wear your shit if you give it to them for free and then all these mainstream followers will eat shit up, especially if you take that product that normally costs 3 dollars and make them believe it’s worth absurd amounts more than it is.

Maybe it’s marketing genius, I like to think it’s just representative of the hell that we are living and the stupidy of the general public and their need for the media to tell them what’s up and I don’t anticipate Ed Hardy to go away anytime soon, despite hoping that it does, but the good news is that Joanna Krupa was one of their bikini models recently, and I am always ready to get down with communism when it looks like this no matter what shit stupid clothes its wearing.

Posted in:Bikini|Ed Hardy|Joanna Krupa

2008

22

Jul

Britney Spears is the Devil Mother of the Day

15 Comments »

I got Britney’s back on this shit, because I know everyone is going to tear her apart because she’s smoking in front of her kid and it’s all part of continuing to publicly rape her because she’s been getting raped the last couple years, and people are used to it. It’s one of those, once a rapist always a rapist situation because it’s hard to go back to your normal sex because rape starts to feel good and becomes that norm making moving not really an option.

The reality is that this is Britney Spears and she’s out on her porch, in her backyard having a smoke and her kid comes out and plays with her pack of cigarettes and she pulls the shit away from the kid. If you ask me, that’s good parenting and people need to lighten the fuck up. If she was giving the kid tequila shots and shoving the cigarette down the its throat like my foster parents did to me when I had an ear infection and they couldn’t afford tylenol or antibiotics and figured that smoking and booze would calm my nerves and shut me up when I was 8, or they’d drive around with all the windows of the car rolled up for me to inhale the shit, which didn’t phase me as much as when they’d crawl into bed with me and make me a sick prop in their sex lives, or when they’d beat the fuck out of me because they were having a bad fucking day.

Sure it’s a different time and we know second hand smoke kills and probably doesn’t give her kids a great example to follow, you know like them time she kidnapped them and locked them in a room with her when she was in hysterics crazily shaving her head, crying and laughing and screaming all at the same time in a manic episode. Smoking is the least of the kid’s worries, we should just celebrate the fact that she hasn’t gone through with a murder suicide like this bipolar ex hooker I once knew yet. We should also celebrate the fact that she’s in a fucking bikini because that’s all that really matters to me, I guess i am just insensitive to kids because I hate the little leeches.

What it comes down to is that people need to lighten the fuck up.

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears|Devil|Mother

2008

21

Jul

Rachel Brando’s Fat Bikini Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

Rachel Brando is Marlon Brando’s half breed love child and if you don’t see much similarity between her Asian looks and her father, just look at her stomach, bitch looks like she spent her childhood having an eating contest with her dad before he died. The only reason I know he is responsible for her is becase I saw a documentary on him and dude had a bad case of yellow fever, to the point where he bough an Island in the South Pacific so that he could fuck the natives like living out his Apocalypse Now character. If you’re wondering why I know so much about Brando, I don’t, but I do know that dude made one ugly baby and here she is in a bikini.

Posted in:Bikini|Fat|Rachel Brando

2008

21

Jul

Ashley Dupre Bikini Pictures of the Day

Comments Off on Ashley Dupre Bikini Pictures of the Day

I used to think what this Ashley Dupre hooker charged was insanity. It was highway fucking robbery that any normal person could never afford but when I think back to what normal priced hookers look like in all their toothless, addicted and unwashed with a box that smells like fishy Aids garbage , she’s definitely easier on the eyes, but still not worth the cost.

I mean when you’re ready to get down with a hooker, you’re not lookin’ for love, you’re lookin’ for a vagina, and the benefit of a stinky pussy whore who charges 50 dollars and you find on the street corner is that you’re also paying for the the full experience,

When it comes to the Ashley Dupre level of prostitution, it’s more like making a bet with a normal girl you met in a bar who is resisting going home with you. It’s like “come on, I’ll give you 2,000 dollars to fuck you right now….No? Fine make it 10,000 dollars” when all she’s thinking is that she probably would have done it for free if dude had a little more game like that guy the night before, but might as well collect the money because 10,000 dollars sounds like a lot of money and she really wanted a new pair of designer shoes.

Here she is in a bikini, it’s a better deal than actually hiring her, because let’s face it she’s a fucking rip off, but at least she’s put a price on her vagina, that should go down everyday she gets older, like the slow rotting fruit at the grocery store at a rate that in about 60 years, your bank account will be able to score this ass. The other thing she’s put on her vagina is that stupid tattoo, because Ashley Dupre’s such a little whore that she likes her tramp stamp in the front, because she likes to stare in your eyes when you cum all over her, instead of the impersonal lower back like all the less expensive whores are rockin’.

Posted in:Ashley Dupre|Bikini|Uncategorized

2008

18

Jul

Rosario Dawson’s Fat Bikini Pics of the Day

17 Comments »

New York coke slut Rosario Dawson seems to have given up on cocaine and taken up eating, because in these pictures her stomach is quickly catching up to her big tits. It’s not really her fault, she’s got Puerto Rican roots and all those Puerta Ricans end up fat and breast feeding their 15 babies. The truth is that I’ve been watching her career since she was 16 because I had a thing for seeing dudes fuck drugged up passed out girls with Aids and Kids was really the only movie at the time that delivered and to get to that part of the movie, I had to fast forward past Rosario Dawson’s underwear pool hopping scene. At least she’s got skinny legs.

I do like the fact that she’s hosing herself down like the hog that she is, but mainly because I have a thing for girls who shower, since my wife doesn’t and even if she tries, she either gets stuck or misses her crucial parts that need cleaning because she can’t reach, like her ass. It’s one of those you like what you don’t have situations.

Speaking of showers, I woke up today and saw that it was raining outside, so decided to take advantage and take a homeless shower, where you basically stand outside and thank god for giving you his natural water supply that is free and try your best to get as wet as possible because if you pull it off proper, you not only clean yourself but the clothes you are wearing, buying you a couple weeks of less stink. I also like to take advantage of peepin’ on the girls who get caught in a homeless shower unintentionally, and end up with wet shirts, hard nipples and make-up running all down their faces like they’ve been crying all day. It brings me joy.

Joy that big tits just don’t bring to me. They just aren’t enough to get excited over a chick in a bikini. I need more. Maybe I’m gay that could be why this post is hard to read and all over the fucking place, but I think that’s got more to do with my laziness to edit this shit.

‘

Posted in:Bikini|Rosario Dawson

2008

18

Jul

Christina Milian Bikini Pictures of the Day

10 Comments »

Here’s some Christina Milian bikini pictures from a while ago, I am posting them becaue I am hungover and have nothing interesting to say about Christina Milian because she’s hardly relevant, so that’s a good enough reason to stop writing now.

Posted in:Bikini|Christina Milian

2008

17

Jul

Vanessa Hudgens Exclusively Boring Bikini Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

I thought that I was the only one who lost interest and moved on from Jailbait Disney immigrant lookin’ pussy after I saw it in nude pictures, but it turned out the rest of the world did too because she’s been pretty much no where to be found.

I heard there’s a High School Musical 3 in the works, so I am guessing the producers are still getting into her, but that’s just beause Ashley Tisdale reminds them too much of their Jew wives, while Miley Cyrus’ ego and success has made her less ambitious on making them cum with her mouth, while Vanessa Hudgens is holding on as hard as she can to the dream and is willing to do whatever it takes to not have the producers go through with their threats of firing her.

Here she is in some staged bikini pictures with her “boyfriend” to help prove they are real wholesome Disney couple, and decided to have her mount Effron like a good little virgin who only dry fucks you til your dick falls off, because they felt the negative press of these kids being inappropriate didn’t outweigh the struggle they are having to prove Effron’s not Faggot, because Gay teen heart throbs are bad for business. When all the little girls realize they are being lied to and that the Effron fantasy won’t ever come true because they don’t have a penis and that will lead to them realizing that all the Disney dudes who sing and dance all light on their feet are also poofters and they won’t buy tickets to the movies, any of the merch or even cut out posters of the heathen from Teen Beat, to hang above their bed because their minister told them that homos are a product of Satan.

On a side note, I heard it took them 3 weeks to cooridinate this shoot because they couldn’t seem to get all the cock out of Effron’s mouth, but that could just be rumors.

Posted in:Bikini|Vanessa Hudgens

2008

16

Jul

Claire Danes is Skinny in a Bikini of the Day

18 Comments »

I admit, I used to watch My So Called Life, not because every depressive teenage girl who was intense and into grunge related to this bitch and I wanted to find some common ground with them to work my way into them, but because I anxiously sat by my computer hoping this bitch offed herself. It never happened.

Since then, I have been about as attracted to Cliare Danes and I have been to my wife, for obviously different reasons, one being the fact that my wife is just vile to look at, while Claire Danes just reminds me of her annoying character on her show. The one thing she does have going for her is that she’s not fat, like the eating disorder girls that once looked at her as some kind of dark misunderstood god and that should be celebrated in this fat world that we live in. So this is me doing my part to make fat chicks stop eating and to remind skinny chicks that they just aren’t skinny enough.

Posted in:Bikini|Claire Danes

2008

16

Jul

Uma Thurman is a Mess in a Bikini of the Day

11 Comments »

I decided to go out and get a sandwich and was stuck waiting in line behind what I thought was a normal fat middle aged construction worker. He turned as was looking my direction and I didn’t think anything of it. My hands were full cuz I was carrying some shit and my hair was in my eyes, in one of my gayer maneuvers, I whisked my hair back like some kind of supermodel in a beach photoshoot, unintentionally. This caught the construction workers attention and dude was staring at me straight up llike I was also some kind of bear and we were going to go fuck in the back of his pick up truck. I ignored the looks, ordered my sandwich and when I asked her to put salami on it, the motherfucker licked his lips and moaned “mmmmm, i love salami”. I didn’t know how to react so I did what any normal person would do and followed him to the bathroom to suck his dick.

No seriously, you should never turn down a hook up, but I am not inot that whole gay thing, I just ended up paying and leaving the place feeling like I had just been raped, but with a new ego boost, because if horny gay overweight construction workers want a piece, there’s bound to be a girl equally desperate out there.

Speaking of overweight dudes who like to fuck, here are some Uma Thruman pregnancy bikini pictures from the other day, because I am slow moving.

Posted in:Bikini|Uma Thurman