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Archive for the Bikini Category

2010

26

Mar

Miranda Kerr, Alessandra Ambrosio and Candice Swanpoel in Bikinis of the Day

6 Comments »

The pictures of these Victoria’s Secret models are floating around and so are my insides because I drank way too much lastnight, so I figured why not post the video, set to some jazz cuz keepin it jazzy is what life is all about and by jazzy I mean hot bitches in their bikinis and little shorts…

Here are the pics….

Alessandra Ambrosio was on some annyoing LA morning show….promoting Victoria’s Secret…if you care what a model has to say, but the good news is that the’s some models in bikini in a hot tub, a hot tub party which as Jersey Shore as it is, it is something I need in my life…

The Victoria’s Secret Machine is making their slave women promote the new Swim Catalog pretty fucking hard…they even had an event for the shit and here are some of the models and non-models who attended…if you care…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini|Candice Swanpoel|Miranda Kerr

2010

25

Mar

Some More Kelly Bensimon in a Bikini of the Day

5 Comments »

You know my life is pretty fucking shitty when I do two posts on Kelly Bensimon in one day…She’s a ripped mom in a bikini who I really don’t know much about, or really care to know anything about, because she seems like a rich bitch trying to get attention cuz she’s bitter her ex husband left her fat ass, so she hit the gym and spends all his money with a fucking smile. The kind of girl who makes her relationships as public as she can so that it gets back to him as a “fuck you, I don’t need you, I just need your money”…

I just can’t help but post pictures of anyone getting her titties sorted out by a helper, no matter how old, or how much she likes her ripped body to get fucked by young cock…and this post confirms yet again, that I suck at life…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Bensimon

2010

25

Mar

Paris Hilton’s Ex-Boyfriend Paris and His Ugly Surfing Girlfriend of the Day

4 Comments »

Her name is Hannah Cornett, she’s a pro surfer and not all that hot, but it is probably safe to say that she’s not dating Paris Latkis because of his fame, since he’s only known for being the rich kid who was fucking Paris Hilton for a few weeks back when Paris Hilton was fucking pretty much everyone…

I guess the nice thing about sharing a man with Paris Hilton is that you also share her strain of herpes…and that shit’s gotta be designer herpes, you know upper class herpes, cuz there’s no way all herpes are made the same, it just wouldn’t make sense that the scabs on her rich pussy are the very same scabs some gutter crackwhore has on hers…

I just don’t believe that’s possible…oh wait…yes it is…so that means Paris Hilton’s pussy is like a crackwhores and now so is Hannah Cornetts, because no one uses condoms anymore…I bet swimming in the ocean for a job must feel great on those wounds…thank god for Valtrex….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Hannah Cornett|Surfing

2010

25

Mar

Kelly Bensimon in Her Bikini of the Day

3 Comments »

Here’s some wallet fucker who managed to get noticed. Maybe it has to do with her keeping her ex-husbands name, who in case you didn’t know, is some rich fashion photographer who has kids with bitches like Elle Macpherson, or maybe it’s because of her talent as a well respected model no ones ever heard of….

She’s on a show called Real Housewives of New York that I fucking hope you don’t watch, and she’s got a pretty ripped fucking body, especially for a mother of two, but the probably with bitches with really ripped bodies, is that they kinda start lookin’ like dudes.

I’m not into tired, haggard, old, sloppy pussy, but you probably are, so here she is in her bikini….and the pictures are about as inspiring as this post. Thanks Kelly Bensimon for being totally uninspiring. You cunt.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Bensimon|old

2010

24

Mar

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

2 Comments »

I was talking to a girl the other day who was going through her Victoria’s Secret catalog and I had a flashback of when the Victoria’s Secret catalog was the closest thing most men had to porn. I remember ordering the shit to my shithole apartment under a woman’s name because I didn’t want people working there thinking I was some kind of queer who buys women’s underwear, when I really just wanted it for good old fashioned jerking off…It was a simpler time where I didn’t have to dig through porn sites for something I haven’t already seen or something I am not already bored of…back when a little leg, midsection and cleavage wasn’t pathetic to cum to…It’s like they brought bikini porn into the home…a campaign for bikinis I got nothing by love for….

Whenever I think of how Victoria’s Secret has campaigned so hard to get bikini pictures into our everyday life, I remember the time I campaigned for bikinis…sure I was working on getting mandatory bikinis back when I volunteered for a senior aquarobics class and I was tired of seeing the bitches in this awkward one-piece suits with skirts attached the shit like they were 5 despite being 80. I tried for the whole “you are what you wear, so dress young and it will make you feel younger and all the youth are in 2 pieces and if you dress like an old lady you feel like an old lady ” kind of logic, but I ended up getting fired proving that you can get fired even when you’re not getting paid….

Posted in:Bikini|Candice Swanepoel

2010

24

Mar

Chelsea Handler’s Bikini Body of the Day

2 Comments »

I’ve watched Chelsea Lately do a couple of interviews…I’ve never watched her entire show…but she is pretty funny from what I remember and I generally don’t find anyone funny.

I remember her ripping into different celebrities, making racist jokes no one got mad at her for making because she’s a chick with a harmless delivery and that in itself is genius….

She’s not that annoying and she’s not a dyke lookin’ pig of a woman like most female comedians…but most importantly she looks good in a bikini.

I wasn’t all that surprised, because most girls in gyms are Jewish girls…it’s like they like to keep up their appearances as best they can…even if it takes botox, a nose job, a lot of their husband’s money on hair and make-up and clothes, and I really have no problem with a bitch aging gracefully with a little help no matter how awkward lookin she was in her prime, cuz the white trash girls I hang out with who were hot in their prime all look like a weathered, fat, tired, poor piles of shit they blame on working a life as a cashier after they were forced to quit stripping and drugs, before emotionally eating their way thru the realization that life sucks….

So you should collectively jerk off to these videos and send them to the 40 year olds you know…cuz if anything Chelsea Lately proves there’s no excuse for their pig bodies.

Posted in:Bikini|Chelsea Handler

2010

22

Mar

Kim Kardashian’s Bikini Body Living the Hard Life of the Day

7 Comments »

I wasn’t going to bother posting these pictures of Kim Kardashian in a bikini, because I figure any bitch who does nothing all day everyday who has the nerve to run off on vacation from a life that is already a vacation is annoying enough and it’s probably better for society if we just ignore her and the fact that people think she’s hot and not a sloppy. lazy, chubby pig is on a whole other level of annoying…but then I realized shit was blurred and a blurry fat chick in a bikini is probably the best this whore has ever looked…but lucky for you they managed to get a nice shot of her fat back and I know how much fat back turns you on…weirdo…

Pics via Fame
Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian

2010

22

Mar

Shauna Sand is a Fossil in Her Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

I’ve seen these pictures before…I recognize the bikini, the fake tits, the body, the ass…I know underneath this pink trimmed camo bikini is a grey, dying, hard lookin’ pussy I’ve seen get fucked…and the whole thing is like a museum exhibit and the only thing that makes me know this is a new picture, from a new day is the gay boy toy she is frolicking around with….I am not sure why gay dudes like pretending to be straight to get with her since she is a monster who can barely get herself work so I guess they are just drawn to the meaty pussy that looks like an elderly man’s testicles…that bring back memories of when they used to get molested…but even he looks like he’s wondering how the fuck he fucks this thing…and here are the pics…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Shauna Sand

2010

19

Mar

Stephanie Seymour In a See Thru Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »

These pictures look legit…you know, like they weren’t staged becuase when bitch went back to her hotel room and checked out her google alerts about her cunt self, cuz bitches with egos always google alert themeselves, she saw that her nipple was everywhere, so she spent the last two days negotiating with a photographer to do this photoshoot of her on the beach with her see thru tankini…or maybe she just got carried away when she saw cameras, felt the sand, heard the waves and in some kind of brainwashed robot, busted into her model routine, like it was 1990 and she was 20 years young, 30 lbs lighter and her body was 2 kids and many sexual relationships with married multi-millionaires tighter….if that makes sense, which knowing me it doesn’t….

I’m not complaining, I enjoy anyone trying to show off something they were good at 20 years later, like athletes and ex-prostitutes, even if it usually ends in injury, especially if I can see nipple….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Stephanie Seymour

2010

17

Mar

Stephanie Seymour Nipple on the Beach of the Day

6 Comments »

I don’t like older women unless they are ex-supermodels…..or I guess hot…which happens really rarely but does happen sometimes because there are people who bounce back from having kids, or who never have kids and are vain enough to keep up appearances, but it is pretty fucking rare and easier to just want to bang 18-35 year olds….

That said, Stephanie Seymour, a chronic homewrecker and Guns and Roses wrecker, was one of the original Victoria’s Secret models back in 1990, before anyone knew who Victoria’s Secret was. She was also a SI Swimsuit model and now she’s still modeling her swimsuit, only instead of being her young hot self, she’s a mom of two….with a mom of two body that is better than most mom of two bodies but not quite where I like bodies to be…but the good news is she’s showing off nipple….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Mom|Nipple|Stephanie Seymour