Here’s one of the dancing with the stars dancers in her bikini and despite dancing all fucking day every fucking day it seems like the good life may have taken the fuck over for her. She looks like she’s been eating all the fancy cheeses and burgers and fries her money can buy, like when she was the fat chick in high school no one wanted to take to the prom, before turning to dance with a bunch of other rejects looking for friends, only to end up on TV instead of the stripclub where she would have belonged if she gained weight in the right places…you know less on the hip and more on the motherfuckin’ tits….
I don’t know who Kelly Landry is, but I do know she should be a lot more famous than she already is, not that what she does really warrants her as being famous, because she gets gigs like hosting Wheel of Fortune Australia, something pretty fucking insignificant because it is in Australia, despite the fact 98% of Australia are poor white trash that fucking love sitting at home with their fat wives drinking beer in their trailer watching game shows….because Australia is insignificant, so she hasn’t quite hit it big here, but if she keeps up this kind of behavior, like walking down the beach with her solid body like a common hooker, she’ll do fine here….
Michael J. Fox the human vibrator is showing off his wife and her mom body again. It’s like you’d think dude would take a fucking break and spend a day shaking in fucking bed already, but instead he’s eager to enjoy every moment of this vacation and I guess it’s a lot more inspiring that the 55 year old dude who looks 90, pushing 300 pounds who sits on the side of the street moaning in pain so that people ask him if he’s ok and he can give his speech about having some bullshit disease. Yesterday it was liver failure, two weeks ago it was lung cancer cuz he likes his terminal illness to constantly change while feeling sorry for himself…
So if you like hard mom nipples with a sweet compassion who could have have walked out on the dude when she had the chance, but decided to stand by her man and help him like it was her job, and I guess a good paying job because he did make a lot of money over his career and she does have the good life thanks to him, not to mention she hooked him in early on in his career when he was just not short and not livin’ the daily earthquake…
Here are the saint’s at these nipples because most girls are self-involved cunts who crave attention and always want more than what they have. The wholesome mother who dyes easter eggs with her kids while the husband is making milkshakes just doesn’t exist these days, so let these pictures be a reminder that you will never find a love like this, or a loyalty like this, unless you marry a fat chick.
I would rather not be spending my time writing about low level barely celebrities who will never actually be celebrities, especially when they are on the beach, mainly because I want to be on the fucking beach. I don’t want to be famous and I’m really not talented or capable of even being a low level reality star, since I’m only good at drinking, socially awkward and uncomfortable waking up and doing things, but I wouldn’t mind having a little bit of their money for being the useless fuck that I am, so that I could just do absolutely nothing but walk around in the sun and stare at my tits all day…that’s not to say I am jealous of Whitney Port and her shitty body or flat ass, it’s just to reaffirm that I’m a fucking loser who writes about people like Whitney Port who most people don’t even know and her shitty body and flat ass in a bikini, like she’s some more important than any of us, when really she’s a fucking nothing.
I guess that just makes me part of the fucking problem, but I’m in too deep now and too lazy to step it and do something substantial, but I just want you to know that I know there’s so much more to life that this trash the media already shoves down our throats, but I’ll just post the pics anyway….
I’m so hungover, I can’t stop shaking…no wait…I’m not shaking…I’m just looking at pictures of Michael J. Fox and I think that I am cuz he is, I’m sure he gets that all the time…you know people who are talking to him who don’t know he’s the youngest man in history to have parkinsons, and as he vibrates like a human sex toy that has kept his wife around the last 15 years he’s had the disease, because she realized a disability, if looked at in the right way can be a serious ability, or maybe this is just one of Hollywood’s great love stories, of a couple who dated on set of an 80s sitcom, who haven’t left each other’s side since, because they are soul mates, or because his wife is maternal and can’t leave a motherfucker just cuz he got sick and has been progressively getting worse like some kind of saint who really just doesn’t want to look evil, like his disease has her trapped, kinda like when I used to want to get AIDS to give to this hot girl so she would never leave my side, but a little less psycho…
See, I’ve got nothing but love for Michael J. Fox. I feel for him for being so fucked up at such a young age, like an 80 year old in a 40 year old’s body or some shit but at least he’s living the good life on the beach in St Barth, but more importantly, at least his wife has maintained a pretty fucking good body into her forties, despite being a mom and having stopped acting to be a mom. It always impresses me when women with kids and husbands aren’t disgusting and fat. Maybe it’s cuz I’m not used to it….
As a bonus, here’s a little clip of Michael J. Fox scoring Tracey on Family Ties, this is where the love all started and like all great romantic moments, this song seems to come to mind whenever I’m thinking about rape. Inspiring.
Either way, here is the happy couple on the beach…
Her name is Julie Bowen, I’ve never heard of her, she’s on a show called Modern Family, I don’t watch TV, so I’ve never seen the show and these pictures of her in a bikini don’t really excite me enough to find a TV to watch, because whenever I do have to watch a show, like the Oscars, I always end up at my weird older neighbor’s couch because he enjoys the company, never says know but smells like urine and feces and is a lot of work to deal with, cuz dude’s got serious fucking issues, like spontaneous erections he feels the need to show off to me and freakouts that involve him screaming at his reflection in the window in another language or really obscure conversations about really inappropriate shit like raping women in his youth and the time he fucked his neighbor’s dog to death cuz it wouldn’t stop barking and a whole lot of other shit I wish was a lie, even though you could make a pretty funny movie on him. Needless to say, I try my best to avoid the shit….and this Julie Bowen isn’t really making me want to put up with bullshit, even though I have a thing for older ladies in bikinis and spend half my day on Facebook trying to find 40 year old mom’s to fuck, but Bowen’s not quite where I need her to be to put up with bullshit to watch her in action, but since I have no standards and you probably don’t either, we might as well look at pictures of her in a bikini, cuz let’s face it, there’s no much else goin’ on today…
Sarah Hyland is some 19 year old who is on Modern Family. She started out her career playing Howard Stern’s daughter on Private Parts, making me wonder if he’d make her ride the sybian like she was an actress he didn’t know when she was 7, or if he’s been waiting to make that happen since she was 7 and I guess it doesn’t matter since I don’t have satelite radio and haven’t heard Howard Stern in over a decade, not that I didn’t think he was funny or worth listening to, but because he got banned in Canada and I am to lazy to bother.
She is in her bikini top with her boyfriend, possibly the guy who took her virginity, because at 19 you have two types of girls, the sluts at a young age, or the girls who only give it up to the guy they trust enough and end up dating for 3 years before becoming sluts, even today, when most girls are sucking dick at 14 at blowjob parties and letting dudes fuck them up the ass cuz they learned from the Jonas brother’s that keeps you a “virgin”, there are still the semi-wholesome ones…
Not that it matters…just look at the pics….cuz at 19…whether the girl is hot or not…is always hot cuz the age factor outweighs genetics and natural beauty…
Last week I stepped back from hating everythign “The Hills” and tried to forget that the shit has polluted our life, where everywhere we looked, we’d see these fake celebrities and I allowed myself to appreciate Audrina for the hot body she is, because with a little Photoshop, she can become a pretty incredible thing. It was a mistake to have her on TV, or on video, or opening her retard mouth for people to hear, and the focus of her career should have never diverted from the original purpose of those fake tits…
So here are some behind the scenes pictures and again, she looks fucking great…and it really pains me to write that but I can’t change the fucking truth…
I have never been to Brazil, I just know that some of the best asses come out of Brazil, as do some of the best models and some of the best Trannies. I also know they have some of the best beaches and some of the best bikini waxing techniques and now I’m starting to think they have some of the best TV shows. Seriously. Girls ice skating in bikinis may not seem like a genius concept on paper, because everyone knows girls in bikinis doing anything is better than girls not in bikinis, but when it comes down to it, it’s almost fucking legendary.
With a little photoshop and little clothes Audrina is fuckin’ rockin, so I’m not sure why her career is based on her not being half naked and photoshopped. I seriously would not hate her nearly as much as I do if she just embraced what she was supposed to be doing, instead of polluting TV and events like some kind of fucking joke she clearly is on the regular, when she could just be releasing pictures of her naked or topless on the regular instead. Sure, I’m not a manager or agent, and if I was all I would be doing is trying to get the bitches in as little clothing as possible, but I am a man and I can tell you that in Audrina’s case, it would really make her a valid contribution to society, instead of the stain on society she’s become, so let’s just hope this is a preview of what’s to come, because if she’s capable of this, she’s capable of more, dirtier and better shit, just as soon as she gets her head out of her ass and realizes this is all she has going for her….
