Karolina Kurkova Archives - Page 4 of 4 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2008

25

Jun

Karolina Kurkova is Too Fat to Model of the Day

What people don’t realize when they jerk off to these pictures of models in Sports Illustrated or their mom’s Victoria’s Secret catalog is that models aren’t hot in person. They are fucking scarey genetic freaks of nature that are look like they have these tight, nice bodies, but the second you stand next to them and realize you go up to their shoulders and that their shoulers are broader than you, that whole perspective changes.

I saw a picture that I can’t find of Kurkova a couple of weeks ago standing next to a normal sized girl and bitch looked like she was about to eat her. I knew then that this product of Chernobyl was not going to last long because her true very large colors were eventually going to be obvious to everyone.

Now, I hear that she’s losing her modeling contract unless she drops some weight and here are the pictures explaining why.

Posted in:Fat|Karolina Kurkova|Model

2008

05

Mar

Adriana Lima and Karolina Kurkova Pose With Bras the Wrong Way of the Day

5 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Karolina Kurkova and Adriana Lima playing around with bras like a couple of ten year old boys who just snuck into their sister’s underwear drawer or maybe like a couple of teenage girls celebrating the purchase of their first bra for their budding breasts by doing some kind of ceremonial dance that I wasn’t invited to watch because their mom’s are worried it’ll turn me on or some shit.

I find the whole thing pretty offensive, not because I am against girls wearing bras or celebrating bras, even though bras act as some kind of defensive shield that stand between me and nipples, but I am against girls who normally promote bras by wearing bras showing up to an event in lame T-shirts to promote bras like they are standing at the mall trying to get me to sign-up for a credit card or donate blood. If I wanted to see bitches in t-shirts, I wouldn’t be sitting next to the changing room at a panty store, hoping to sneak a peak, I’d be at the Gap hoping to see a soccer mom in ill-fitting jeans and an oversized shirt posing in front of the mirror trying to make sure it hides her pregnancy weight that she hasn’t been able to kick the last 15 years because she like cookies too fuckin’ much.

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Bra|Karolina Kurkova

2007

23

May

I am – Karolina Kurkova's Ass at a Photoshoot of the Day

1 Comment »

I had no choice but to post these, I was thinking about passing out on the floor but this fucking picture kept eating away at my brain like my wife eats away at a family pack of chicken wings in one fucking sitting. I don’t mean to be always busting my wife’s ass, it turns out that even supermodels have cellulite. I am guessing that this Communist went a little crazy when she realized that she could buy as many boxes of donuts as she wanted, but reality is she’s pretty fuckin’ slammin’ and cellulite or not, I’d love to rub my balls on her, because with a limp dick that’s pretty much all I can do.

I did read my comments though, and saw that you are all complaining about me repeating myself, or something, I think this site stays fresh and I am constantly looking for more substance than the average nipple slip, cleavage shot, vagina slip, bikini pic, see-through shirt. My pictures are up to date and I make an effort to tell different stories depending on how inspired I get.

I am not justifying myself, or crying like a little bitch about negative feedback, I just think you are fucked in the head to think of this site as any more repetitive than anything else out there. So go and tell your friends, because my traffic is fucking dying. That said, I already linked to these pictures in my stepLINKS earlier…

Now you can look at this girl at some photoshoot in spandex. Cuddles.

Posted in:Ass|Karolina Kurkova|Model|Photoshoot|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Karolina Kurkova’s Ass at a Photoshoot of the Day

1 Comment »

I had no choice but to post these, I was thinking about passing out on the floor but this fucking picture kept eating away at my brain like my wife eats away at a family pack of chicken wings in one fucking sitting. I don’t mean to be always busting my wife’s ass, it turns out that even supermodels have cellulite. I am guessing that this Communist went a little crazy when she realized that she could buy as many boxes of donuts as she wanted, but reality is she’s pretty fuckin’ slammin’ and cellulite or not, I’d love to rub my balls on her, because with a limp dick that’s pretty much all I can do.

I did read my comments though, and saw that you are all complaining about me repeating myself, or something, I think this site stays fresh and I am constantly looking for more substance than the average nipple slip, cleavage shot, vagina slip, bikini pic, see-through shirt. My pictures are up to date and I make an effort to tell different stories depending on how inspired I get.

I am not justifying myself, or crying like a little bitch about negative feedback, I just think you are fucked in the head to think of this site as any more repetitive than anything else out there. So go and tell your friends, because my traffic is fucking dying. That said, I already linked to these pictures in my stepLINKS earlier…

Now you can look at this girl at some photoshoot in spandex. Cuddles.

Posted in:Ass|Karolina Kurkova|Model|Photoshoot|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Karolina Kurkova's See-Through Ass Dress of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of your favorite model wearing a dress that shows off her ass proper. I’d be happier if it was a piece of saran wrap or some shit so that I wouldn’t have to look at this motherfucking thing all crossed eye trying to make out her pussy from behind, but it’s a step in the write fucking direction.

My last strippers story for the night is about the Portuguese chick who had a big ass, but not the kind of big ass you want to see, even though bitch had every fucking ass dance move down proper. Seeing her slapping her flat wide cheeks together was like watching an anorexic girl trying to lick her own nipple. I don’t really know where i am going with this, but
I do know that every dude in the place started freaking out, making me think that dudes in stripclubs are fags trying to prove to themselves that they aren’t into man ass, or dudes who haven’t seen pussy in so long every pussy is good enough, or maybe it’s because they are married and so tired of seeing their wife naked that lookin’ at a tupperwear dish of leftovers is more appealing to fuck, but what the fuck do I know, I just write this shitty website. Cuddles.

Posted in:Ass|Karolina Kurkova|See Through|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Karolina Kurkova’s See-Through Ass Dress of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of your favorite model wearing a dress that shows off her ass proper. I’d be happier if it was a piece of saran wrap or some shit so that I wouldn’t have to look at this motherfucking thing all crossed eye trying to make out her pussy from behind, but it’s a step in the write fucking direction.

My last strippers story for the night is about the Portuguese chick who had a big ass, but not the kind of big ass you want to see, even though bitch had every fucking ass dance move down proper. Seeing her slapping her flat wide cheeks together was like watching an anorexic girl trying to lick her own nipple. I don’t really know where i am going with this, but
I do know that every dude in the place started freaking out, making me think that dudes in stripclubs are fags trying to prove to themselves that they aren’t into man ass, or dudes who haven’t seen pussy in so long every pussy is good enough, or maybe it’s because they are married and so tired of seeing their wife naked that lookin’ at a tupperwear dish of leftovers is more appealing to fuck, but what the fuck do I know, I just write this shitty website. Cuddles.

Posted in:Ass|Karolina Kurkova|See Through|Unsorted

2007

08

May

I am – Celebrities Showing Off Their Tits at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Gala of the Day

2 Comments »

I am all for girls rocking cleavage shirts because I am a pervert and this site has given me a keen eye for spotting nipple slips. I was standing outside a bar, hoping a drunk guy who came out for a cigarette and accidentally drop his wallet the other day, and a group of hot chicks walked out with low cut shirts on, I guess it’s in style to show off your rack and I am not really complaining. One of them conveniently dropped something and when she went to pick it up her shirt dropped and I saw full fucking massive tit, while the other guys next to me missed it. It reminded me of when I was 12 and my foster mother used to come give me talks about God before I went to bed. She’d be in her night gown while I’d be lying in bed. She’d bend over to tuck me in, full tit exposed and I’d totally get a boner and jerk off to it the second she walked out. I always got scared that God was watching me, then I realized that if he was, he was a total pedophile and I might as well give him a good performance, because let’s face it, if I get him to get off when I was 12 only good things would be coming to me….I was wrong…

I am guessing that these celebrities are thinking the same thing, they are advertising their tits at some exclusive black tie event I wasn’t invited to, so that people like us fall into their booby trap…get it..I am so witty and that is good enough for you to start your day to….you’re welcome…

Jessica Simpson May Be Busted But Her Tits are Fucking Huge

Lohan May Be Distracting Us From Her Cocaine Video, But At Least She’s Doing it Properly, this shit will even get Disney to Sign Her Again

Salma Hayek is Pregnant and Full of Milk and That’s Pretty Much What I Wish All My Diet Consisted Of…

Jennifer Garner is Post-Pregancy and Her Tits Have Dried Up, But I’d Still Try To Get the Last Drops Out of Her

Rose McGowan has Always Had Hot Tits

Christina Ricci May Look Old and Beat Up and Her Tits May Have Been Reduced But She’s Still Packin’ Heat.

Scarlett Johannson Still Has Tits and I am Still Lookin’ At Them

Julianne Moore is the First Fire Crotch I Ever Saw in a Movie and Will Always Hold a Warm Place in My Heart for Proving that Myth Isn’t a Myth….

Rosario Dawson’s Tits Look Small But Small Titis are Tits Too…

Juliette Lewis is a Crackhead and Crackheads Don’t Have Tits, But She’s Still Trying…

I Don’t Really Give a Fuck About Mischa Barton But Whatever This is Still Cleavage…

Alicia Keys Has a Hairy Chest, So I Don’t Know If She Counts, But Even Men With Tits Count in Your World, Cuz You Are Desperate…

A few new ones…

I think Ivanka Trump Looks Awesome….I’d wallet-fuck her…

Karolina Kurkova Models Bikinis and I like Bikinis, Especially when they are on me, I feel so pretty…

Gisele isn’t with Victoria’s Secret Anymore, She’s Not a Hot as She Used To Be, But She Has Done A Lot in Her Panties and That Pretty Much Redeems Her….