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2007

20

Jun

I am â€“ Pam Anderson Breasts Do Magic of the Day

So here are some pictures of Pam Anderson and her retarded magician friend on the TODAY Show performing their act. His biggest magic trick is foolin us into thinking that Pam Anderson still has a career after Hepatitis.. Proving that a career based on big tits does have staying power, even though, this shitty gig is less status than being a Price is Right girl, itâ€™s almost as bad as working the local car show, but sheâ€™s doing it in a one piece bathing suit and thatâ€™s good enough for me because lookin at her obscenely huge cans and weird discolored rash/scar/birthmark reminds me of what dreams are made of.

I am posting a post that a girl sent into me. I wasnâ€™t going to post it but she bribed me with pussy pictures of herself and I am all about box shots. So hereâ€™s her post on some cunt named Scott Baio and his new reality TV show that no one will watch. The tie in is that he slammed Pam Anderson.

I am – Beating a Dead Horse Named Scott Baio with My Clit Ring of the Day

I don’t know about you, but when I used to turn on the TV to watch some music videos, you’d turn on MTV or VH1. That line of thinking is apparently wrong. VH1 has decided that Scott Baio would be their newest edition to the already overpopulated laundry list of shitty reality TV shows starting in July. Chaci is now 45 years old and single. The difference between you and Baio is that he didn’t have to jerk it to Pam Anderson, he actually got to fuck her (pre-tit job) and they were once engaged. Baio lost his virginity to Erin Moran, his co-star on Happy Days, fucked Charles in Charge and future Baywatch babe, Nicole Eggert. Denise Richards and Heather Locklear have both slept with Baio as well as Brooke Shields. Even Liza Minnelli wanted his sperm. Weird. Erika Eleniak, Nicolette Sheridan, Beverly D’Angelo and Natalie Raitano have all been slammed by the native New Yorker along with countless other playmates. Chaci has been a staple at the Playboy mansion for the last few decades. The only thing you could possibly relate to in Baio’s reality is that he’s forty-five and single and if you’re not there yet, you will be.

During the show, Scott Baio is 45â€¦ And Single!, Baio asks the question, “How can I have been with some of the hottest women in Hollywood and still be single?” Well, probably because boinking all those sluts left his dick looking like it went through a meat grinder and sprinkled with parsley. Next year,Scott Baio is 46â€¦ And Dead!

Unfortunately this post reads like a fucking wikipedia entry, and this bitch has more business writing press releases for VH1 than she does for me. It didnâ€™t make me laugh but I have been known to be a bit of a joke snob, not because I think I am the funniest motherfucker out there, but because itâ€™s hard to make a broken bird laugh. At least thatâ€™s my theory as to why I find every obvious joke I read offensive.

On the positive side of things, it does prove the things I will do for pussy. I am pretty fucking easy, some would call me a whore, others call me a creep but above everything, I am a pervert.

2007

20

Jun

I am – Jessica Biel in a Bikini for GQ of the Day

98 Comments »

I don’t usually bother with magazine pictures because they are doctored, boring and taken by professionals. I also don’t get as excited as I do when I rip off pictures taken by immigrant’s with cameras trying to live the dream by taking pictures of famous people doing everyday things, like walking their dogs, working out, walking the red carpet, eating, nipple slipping, see through dressing, but these Jessica Biel in a bikini pictures were worth doing because she looks worth a fuck for a change.

I rip into her for being built like a dude, with her broad shoulders and sturdy frame that could probably hurt me if she decided to come after me when she finds me hiding under her bed when I become more ambitious at getting the hottest content on the site, which won’t happen because I am lazy, but I was just saying.

She’s addicted to working out, she probably doesn’t have a cock, but that doesn’t mean bitch isn’t a top and if she does, the thing was photoshopped out, so I guess that’s the benefit of these professional pictures, it allows you to get off to a man, without thinking you’re getting off to a man, and means you’re not as gay as your friends think you are for always trying to get them to show you their dicks.

I once knew a football player who told me that you’re not a real man until you’ve had a dick in your mouth. He said that if you suck a guy off and don’t get turned on in the process that it is the best test of your comfort in your sexuality. I don’t really agree, to me the second you’ve got your buddy’s load dripping down the back of your throat, whether you got off or not, you’re a fucking ‘mo.

2007

20

Jun

I am – Toastee From Flavor of Love Sex Tape of the Day

1 Comment »

Some dude just asked me to sing the song Lip Gloss by Lil’ Mama to him over the phone. I don’t know what that song is or what motherfucker was implying when he wrote that to me, but I can only assume it was gay.

I also got an email about some whore named Toastee who is in some new celebrity sex tape video from Vivid, because Vivid is hooked on releasing celebrity sex tapes, even when the people are half rate celebrities. She was on some show called Flavor of Love, that I have heard of, but have never seen, but I don’t think that qualifies her as being a celebrity or having a celebrity sex tape. She’s just a girl with a dream of living the life and the only way for her talentless self to live the dream is by fucking on camera. It’s called being a fucking pornstar and girls have been exploiting themselves for money forever, because let’s face it, if you have no self respect it’s a pretty fucking easy job.

I watched the trailer, took some screenshots to show you pretty much all you’re going to see in it and I don’t really think this bitch deserves a post, I kinda hate all these reality TV stars who thought being on TV would make them famous and are now trying to find ways to stay in the limelight by showing their cunts. Not that Flavor of Love was a big deal or could really count as making anyone famous, but these bitches are clearly idiots dying for attention that even if you threw them up on public access they’d think they were Paris Hilton.

I shouldn’t be so hard on her though, because if all girls were like Toastee, I’d have a lot of content to work with, but I’d also hate every girl out there for being a whore, and I’d probably take Lip Gloss boy up on his offer, if you know what I mean. Thank god it hasn’t come to that. Cuddles.

Check Out the Trailer and Official Site
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2007

20

Jun

I am – Ashley Olsen’s See Through Skirt of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are pictures of Ashley Olsen the other day wearing a see-through dress.

I know these Olsen bitches are considered to be fashion icons. A few years ago when the mainstream rich kids were making the move from designer Italian jean companies to things like “i pay for hair product that makes me look like I don’t wash instead of just not washing”, thrift stores, over-sized glasses and Jewish outfits of the day, trying their best to look busted up and dirty even though they lived in million dollar homes with their parents who drive luxury cars and went to private schools and had allowances and access to the credit card to buy anything they want but chose to buy ratty pieces of shit. Well, I blame the Olsen’s for that.

I guess it’s always been around, you know the whole rich kid trying to pretend he’s not rich by lookin’ poor or the thug from the ghetto jackin’ himself in gold and diamonds and driving luxury cars to look rich. People just aren’t happy being what they are born into. Well I will say that if I was born into a rich house, I’d be wearing Yacht Club and Country Club clothes every fucking day. I am tired of smelling my own ass while typing up posts.

On a side note, I hope this style hits it big so that I can make creepy faces at girls wearing them, it’s kinda what I do, maybe it’s my way of rebelling against being married.

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Ass|See Thru|Unsorted

2007

20

Jun

I am – Ashley Olsen's See Through Skirt of the Day

No Comments »

Here are pictures of Ashley Olsen the other day wearing a see-through dress.

I know these Olsen bitches are considered to be fashion icons. A few years ago when the mainstream rich kids were making the move from designer Italian jean companies to things like “i pay for hair product that makes me look like I don’t wash instead of just not washing”, thrift stores, over-sized glasses and Jewish outfits of the day, trying their best to look busted up and dirty even though they lived in million dollar homes with their parents who drive luxury cars and went to private schools and had allowances and access to the credit card to buy anything they want but chose to buy ratty pieces of shit. Well, I blame the Olsen’s for that.

I guess it’s always been around, you know the whole rich kid trying to pretend he’s not rich by lookin’ poor or the thug from the ghetto jackin’ himself in gold and diamonds and driving luxury cars to look rich. People just aren’t happy being what they are born into. Well I will say that if I was born into a rich house, I’d be wearing Yacht Club and Country Club clothes every fucking day. I am tired of smelling my own ass while typing up posts.

On a side note, I hope this style hits it big so that I can make creepy faces at girls wearing them, it’s kinda what I do, maybe it’s my way of rebelling against being married.

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Ass|See Thru|Unsorted

2007

19

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

19 Comments »

Not leaving your house makes for a pretty exciting fucking existence. I made my way out for my daily 1 block walk to stay fit and to realize that it’s too fucking hot outside for me and that I am at the age where I listen to the weather warnings to stay inside because I like to think of myself as having the health of an 85 year old. On my walk I saw some drunken dude in a stupid fucking outfit, I’m talking leather chaps and long greasy hair, staggering around and realized that it should have been me. I liked all the attention he got from the people walking by, giving him dirty looks and crossing the street to not cross paths with him. I wanted to get it on video, but I don’t have a camera anymore so I have to write my Day Dreams out instead. The fucking thing broke last week and Best Buy won’t replace it. If I was smart, I’d find the contact email of the marketing fucker at Best Buy for all of you to email him. So if you have it send it my way. I want a fucking refund. Poor people can’t afford cameras to begin with, but I borrowed the 200 dollars from my wife in hopes of making it big on the internet and now I can’t get the broken camera replaced. I guess it just sucks to be me.

What doesn’t suck is the stepHOTLINE so here is the stepHOTLINE Message of the Day –

I need a Better way to Link This Shit and this Bitch Needs Puppies…
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Call the stepHOTLINE – Today’s Question is – What are you wearing?
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Now Here are My Links….Click Them….

Bachelorettes of the Year
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Lesbian Samantha Ronson Takes a Shot at Candy Spelling Because I Hear She Likes Candy…In Her Vagina…
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Holly Madison May Be Pregnant With Hugh Heffner’s Kid. It’s Called Her Retirement Plan.
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Some Chick Named Hadise Upskirt
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Jennifer Garner on the Beach
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Some Hot Blonde Chick Parties Hardcore
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Cameron Diaz in Tight Jeans
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Joss Stone Gallery – Because Everyone Finds Her Ugly But Me
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Hilary Duff Posing Sexy
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Fergie is a Drunk
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OJ Simpson Book Hits the Internet – Read Some Excerpts – Motherfucker’s Crazy
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Lara Flynn Boyle Hides Behind a Parking Meter Because She’s a Skinny Bitch
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Kimmy Stewart’s Sister Named Ruby is Hotter than Her
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Mandy Moore Photoshoot Outtakes
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Room Full of Naked Women Video
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Some Paris Hilton Look-a-Like Gets Invited to Some Shitty Red Carpet Event. Perez Hilton was Invited Too So It All Makes Sense…
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Evangeline Lilly Gives the Finger Cuz She’s a Cunt
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Dude Finds Away To Get His Girlfriend to Let Him Cum in Her Ass
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I hate friends – But I don’t Mind Jennifer Aniston Taking Off Her Bra Video
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Some Slut Named Maggie Q
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Miranda Kerr is Some Slut in Lingerie
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Howard Stern Orgasm Video With 3 Chicks and a Modified Power Tool
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Lil Kim Slimmin’ Down and Hangin’ Out
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Evangeline Lilly Dresses Up Like a Farmer
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Victoria Beckham Has Awesome Tits
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Rad Girls Makeout With Old Dudes
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Dude gets a Guitar Smashed On His Head
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Rockin’ Bikini I’d Hate To See My Wife In
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Dude Has A Massive Foot
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Ballwork for Dudes is an Exercise Video You’ll Like To Watch
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Redheaded Chick Hides When Amy Winehouse Makes Out With Her Boyfriend….
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Carmen Electra Dancing on Stage
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Some Girl With Big Tits on Youtube
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Liz Hurley Dressed Like an Angel
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Brad Pitt’s Mom Hangs Out With Jennifer Aniston – Who Cares.
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Britney Spears is Suing Clear Channel
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NSFW- FLESHFLICKS- Sex On The Train
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Funny Labiaplasty Ad
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You Need Menergy
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Some Big Brother Chick Takes a Shower
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Nicole Pregnant Joke for You
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UK Popstar named Louise Redknapp In a Bikini
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81 Year Old Man Runs a Redlight and the Whole Police Force Takes Him Down
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Fucked By A Werewolf
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Some Fishing Slut
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Map on Boobs Prank
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Dude Can’t Drive
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Some Handicapped Dude Dancing
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This Spray Will Get You Laid…That’s the Story I Heard…
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If Sprays Aren’t Your Thing Use This To Find Sluts
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

19

Jun

I am – Katie Holmes Bathing Suit Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

I hate posting tagged images, but since I can’t find these anywhere and have no budget to buy the rights to use pictures and even if I did have the budget to buy the rights to use pictures I doubt I would pay because I think paparazzi are scummy pieces of shit who exploit people and I don’t support scummy pieces of shit who exploit people financially.

Either way, this is Katie Holmes on the beach somewhere with her daughter that she had with Tom Cruise. The whole scientology thing and his whole insanity thing doesn’t really bother me as much as the gay rumors. Living in Montreal, I’ve met many gay dudes over the years whether it be one of my friend’s wive’s hairdresser or just some random washed up fags in the places I drink who all have the same story about this fucker in the 90s. It goes a little something like this. Tom Cruise would fly into the city on a private jet, discreetly make his way to the gay village in the city and have sex with little french boys for days at a time. I have no real proof to back this shit up, because I wasn’t one of those little french gay boys and I don’t know anyone who directly stuffed this fucker like a turkey, but I do know that the story is always told the same by everyone who ever brings it up.

That said, here’s the vagina he had sex with at least once rockin’ a one piece because she knows that no one wants to see her post pregnancy ravaged stomach or the proof that there was no pregnancy at all, and that her 9 months were just a series of pregnant bitch costumes. They say she’s pregnant again but it doesn’t look like it in these pics. That’s pretty much all I have to say about that.

2007

19

Jun

I am – Jessica Simpson Goes to the Gym of the Day

55 Comments »

The thing that annoys me about girls is that when they get dumped they take shit personal. They start hitting the fucking gym to reclaim their desirability. It’s like animal instinct if the dude you were with doesn’t want to fuck you anymore and he wants to fuck younger, hotter, tighter girls than you and you have to show the motherfucker what he’s missing out on.

What would make a fuck of a lot more sense is if you put this kind of effort into yourself when you’re together, then maybe motherfucker wouldn’t have had to dump you because your fat ass doesn’t turn him on anymore and the girl down the street who does yoga in her front yard for him to see is all he can fucking think about….but you had to get fucking lazy and you couldn’t have had that fucking Yoga ass he wants.

I remember when I was in my 20s they used to say that even Cindy Crawford’s husband gets bored of her and wants new pussy, she was all the fucking rage at the time, considered one of the hottest bitches out there. We’ve all heard the expression that the only thing better than pussy is new pussy. Well I will argue that if your pussy is the hottest pussy in the fucking neighborhood, your pussy is the pussy I am going to stick by.

In the end, the joke is on the guys who dump the girl anyway. They usually spend the next 3 years trying to find another chick worth getting involved with and in the process end up drinking a lot, getting fat and jerking off a lot. Where as girls are getting dick within 24 hours of shit and within a few months Jessica Simpson will be back to her hot self again…..

Posted in:Gym|Jessica Simpson|Legs|Unsorted

2007

19

Jun

I am – Kim Kardashian Parties at Marquee of the Day

2 Comments »

If you were sitting at home last night wondering where Kim Kardashian was out partying last night, you have serious fucking issues. Unfortunately, I know where she was partying last night because I guess I have serious fucking issues. It would seem like I actually care about this Armenian fashion accessory who is trying to make it on her own by breaking free from her criminal mentor while she is in Jail to develop her own career as a useless slut, but at least she’s doing it with tits. But I don’t. Having the best site on the internet that no one reads means I get shit emailed to me.

I am not sure who she’s out with, but it looks like her sister, or maybe bitch is like Sadam and has a group of 10 look-a-likes so that she can be in 11 places at the same time, and they are just meeting up not to exchange notes on where the stand in Kardashian’s gotta go. I am bad when it comes to ethnic people, I am not talking black or white or hispanic, I am talking middle eastern and asian, motherfuckers all look the fucking same.

We have all seen Kardashian get fucked, now we can see her text message friends which is eventually going to become the new porno because everytime I go out that seems to be what everyone in the place is doing. It’s like there was a time when girls would dance, and get drunk and talk to you, but now there are just groups of people at tables text messaging people who aren’t there making the party feel like a gamers convention at the 24 hour internet cafe. I predict that Girls Gone Wild 2010 is going to be a whole lot of naughty text messaging parties and instead of watching girls flash their tits to the camera, they’ll flash their text messages so that we can read all the sexy drunk talk that’s going down.

I am not even going to talk about her fat arms, because I am fat, and who really fucking cares if she has fat arms other than her. I know that her thickness wouldn’t stop you from slammin her, and by slammin I mean jerkin off to her sex tape because you like nature channel shit with haggard tranny pornstar lookin’ chicks in them.

Pictures Via thecobrasnake

2007

19

Jun

I am – Guy Getting Arrested of the Day

56 Comments »

I feel uninspired. I haven’t been doing much leaving the house and I haven’t been seeing anything all that funny outside the house and I’ve told you all the stories I can remember and celebrities bore the fuck out of me. So I decided to start the day with a video of some dude getting arrested that I took this weekend while walking wasted down the street. I don’t know what happened, I was just in the right place at the right time and when I came home I checked out the video and saw a huge set of tits in it, making it even more amazing.

If you don’t speak french, the cop says “let go of him” and the chick crying is crying about me taking pictures because I was laughing and drunk and the whole incident was so fucking weird because I was just standing there one second and the cops rushed the dude the next. I am just happy it wasn’t me.

Point of the post is that I bring you the hard hitting news like I was Barbara Walters, only she’s got hotter tits than me. Speaking of tits, I found the boob appreciation group on facebook where 900 pictures of people’s boobs have been uploaded. Check it out if facebook is your thing, you may find an internet girlfriend or someone you went to grade school with who’s turned into a total whore since the second grade and she’s willing to show you what 20 years of life has done to her….Get on it.

Posted in:Arrested|Drunk|stepTV|Tits|Unsorted

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