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Archive for the Panties Category

2009

31

Mar

Jaime Pressly Buying Panties of the Day

2 Comments »

I’ve spent many afternoons when I had nothing better to do, or even when I did have better things to do, sitting in or outside of an underwear store, you know window shopping, and by window shopping I mean following girls I wanted to fuck around to see what their little slut hands grabbed onto, because there is nothing hotter than watching them play out whether the sheer thong is going to make their ass look good and trying to figure out what they are planning on wearing it for, because even the most conservative girl has a naughty pair of panties, and I like to be the guy creepin on them when they buy it. The only mistake I’ve made with this hobby is overstaying my welcome and being banned from the store for offering my expert opinion or my help for trying anything on…

So seeing Jaime Pressly buying panties hits close to home and I like it.

Posted in:Jaime Pressly|Panties|Shopping

2009

30

Mar

Jennifer Garner’s Panties of the Day

2 Comments »

Jennifer Garner has holes in her underwear, not because she’s poor, but because she’s a fucking slob. Rumor has it that her new baby was trying to bite his way back inside her womb, but I have a lot of trouble believing that, it probably has more to do with Afleck’s irish drinkin’ fists and prison rape fantasies, and really who cares.

Posted in:Jennifer Garner|Panties|Slut

2009

23

Feb

Shauna Sand Shows Her Panties at Some Ed Hardy Shit of the Day

1 Comment »

Ed Hardy threw some party around the Oscars that top notch celebrities attended. They posed with some ATV, tried on some obnoxious clothing and the whole thing looked like a horrible fucking time. Shauna Sand was pretty courteous and rocked a pair of panties when mounting that seat and rubbing her box up against it, knowing other girls would be grinding their cunts on it too, which is a nice change from all the STDs she’s transmitted in the past. I guess it’s never too late to learn.

Also in attendance were The Internet’s Most Downloaded Woman according to her…because I highly doubt that claim to fame is true….Cindy Margolis

And Annalynne McCord brought out her Monkey Lookin’ Face and Her Siblings Out…

Posted in:Ed Hardy|Panties|Shauna Sand

2009

16

Feb

Lily Allen and Her Panty Flash of the Day

5 Comments »

I am a hypocrite. I am inconsistent. I am full of shit. I’ve been making fun of Lily Allen the last 2 years for no reason other than it being easy because she’s foreign.

I’ve acted passionate about having this hatred for her that I never really had, truthfully, like all things in my life, I was pretty indifferent, but if you read my shit about her abortion/miscarriage and the other evil jokes I made about her, you’d think I had a picture of her on my living room floor that I’d shit on daily until the smell got too bad that I’d be forced to hunt her down, kidnap her, and make her clean it up with her mouth.

But I was never phased by her, so today when I saw these pictures of her showing off her stomach as if to say to the radio host that that is where the baby lived before it fell out of her (got sucked out of her) and these are where she’s been letting her pet ferret suckle because she has the urge to feed something and since the baby is no more, shit’s gone sour, like the Milk in my broken fridge that I drank anyway, so I can relate.

Maybe our connection is obesity and a love for food and drink, maybe there is no connection, maybe I do hate her but just got tricked by a clever interview I saw with her, maybe I like making fun of her, because I really just want to be her friend, at least for today today, but I do know that unlike everyone else, she writes her own music, is successful with her own music, and you can’t hate someone who’s successful for doin’ their own thing, their own way and who clearly doesn’t take herself too seriously and can laugh and enjoy the ride, which is al lot more than you can say for these American celebrity cunts out there. I’m talking to you LOHAN and friends, not that Lohan has friends, but you know what I mean.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Panties|Uncategorized

2009

30

Jan

Olivia Munn and Her Panties of the Day

5 Comments »

Guys find Olivia Munn hot. I find her annoying. Sure, I’d fuck her, but I’d fuck anything. Sure, she’s good looking enough to get her on TV, even if it is on a network only virgins and nerds watch. Sure, she’s the kind of girl who would be alright to hang out with, you know joking around, pulling pranks, not worried about making a fool of herself, kinda like a stand up comedian and kinda like a dude, but I’ve always liked my girls to be ladylike, if they weren’t the kind of girl passed out in the gutter looking for their next fix. You know, someone who is maternal and ladylike and worries about whether or not their dress fits proper or if they are getting fat. Who watches girl TV shows and who likes kittens and other girlie shit and who is someone I can’t imagine even takes a shit. I find nothing attractive about a girl who talks about shitting, who farts when watching sports, or who makes a mockery of being a chick. God gave you a vagina, so you don’t have to go break boundaries by changing tires, or doing action sports, just fucking learn how to cook like a good fucking girl.

That said, seeing her with her panties in her face remind me of one of her stupid novelty acts, so unless she’s pulling these fucking things off her clammy fucking cunt, or inserting them inside her, like those weird porns, she should save the panty sniffing to the perverts like me creeping at the laundromats.

Posted in:Olivia Munn|Panties

2009

29

Jan

Some Mischa Barton Fashion Show Upskirt of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t consider Mischa Barton a celebrity, she’s more of a rich girl who happened to be on a TV show who is trying to be the New York fashionista socialite. You know the kind of girl who buys expensive clothes, smokes cigarettes in lofts and boutique hotels, dates dudes in bands and travels the world going to every fashion show she can all while hanging out with obscure models and I guess there’s really nothing bad about that life at all.

I mean other than the fact that she can’t find work, is slowly fading and is seen as more and more irrelevant, and more and more unattractive as the years of cocaine use add up, and is desperately trying to get any attention she can, but next time around she should be a little more liberal and show us her dirty bush we all know she has because all fashionistas and models have bush, they may be into Obama politically, but not when it comes to trying to relive the glamourous art scene of the late 60s and early 70s, it’s their hipster way to let the world know they are different than all those other plastic bitches with bikini waxes, because they embrace being dirty fucking hippies with no fucking job who have pussies that smell like mud, gravel and rotting vegetables/organic matter in their very own compost heap in their underwear….or some shit.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Panties|Paris Fashion Week

2009

14

Jan

Lady Gaga Forgot Her Pants Cuz She’s a Lil’ Baby….of the Day

12 Comments »

Lady Gaga was out without pants again. I guess it’s her new fashion statement or some shit because of all the hype she got from her stunt on Leno. Maybe she’s been doing this all along and I just didn’t notice because I don’t usually keep on top of Lady Gaga clothing choices since I find her ugly, or only started to bother recently because I have no fucking standards and her ass is pretty fat making it worth making fun of, or jerking off to, depending on your taste.

I met a girl with a crazy body at the bus station the other day. We didn’t actually meet, but her ass was ridiculous in a pair of spandex pants and white gogo boots. It was pretty clear that whatever it was that she did in life, it involved stripping and that she was probably in town to make some more money than she used to in her small town where she’s from. You know, a stripper with a hustle in her step and a crazy fucking body in her spandex. The problem was that like Lady Gaga her face looked like it was mutilated by an angry exboyfriend with a shovel, and despite that not mattering all too much in my enjoyment, I knew it would make all the difference in her attempt to climb the porn industry bed post. I knew that she was going to be the bottom feeder, underpaid and doing the dirtiest fucking scenes possible and I almost felt bad for her, until reminding myself that I should never feel bad for sluts, and should get in line to take advantage of them.

Either way, here’s Lady Gaga with no pants.

Posted in:Ass|Lady Gaga|Leotard|Panties|Pantsless

2009

09

Jan

Lady Gaga Performs on Leno in her Pantyhose of the Day

20 Comments »

Lady Gaga performed her Let’s Dance song on Leno, and being the modern artist she pretends to be, something a local stripper used to tell me she was every time I grabbed her tits for 10 dollars a song, she decided to wear a pair of pantyhose over a black/dark colored lacy thong. Well besides it reminding me of my mom getting ready to go to to a big meeting back in the 80s, I thought it was a pretty bold move. Not because it was daring and the censor’s probably should have cut it, but because she showed her world her big ol’ ass, something most girls try to hide.

Maybe she’s pulling the whole giving the audience everything angle, like that she’s opened her soul to us and invited us into her bedroom looking like my grandmother getting ready for church on a Sunday Morning in her skin toned pantyhose, maybe she’s trying to appeal to pantyhose fetishist, maybe she spilled something her her skirt that she was supposed to wear over her hose and got inspired thinking it was a sign from god, maybe it doesn’t matter why or how this happened and what matters is that she doesn’t take her own advice and just Dance, because if she danced a little more she’d probably be a whole lot better to jerk off to and whole lot less black guys would be swooning over her, because in case you didn’t know girls, black dudes swooning over you is a sure sign you gotta go on a diet because Black dudes love meaty bitches and by meaty I mean fat.

Either way, watch the video, take it in and count the days before Aguilera incorporates this into her act. Only to switch it up, she plans on showing off her pregnancy bulge from her loose cunt. True story.

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Leno|Panties|Performance

2008

05

Dec

Lily Allen’s Miscarriage Ass Goes Shopping of the Day

5 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Lily Allen wearing the panties she should have kept on when she got knocked up and was forced to abort the mission because the relationship with the baby daddy went sour and because she was more into feeding herself liquor and drugs than breast feeding babies, so that’s why she’s out not shopping for baby clothes. It’s really too bad this short legged dumpy ass didn’t take fertilization when she had a chance, because based on how she looks, the next time around, provided her uterus wasn’t damaged by a botched abortion, will definitely be with an opportunist lookin’ to K-Fed a bitch, than someone who truly loves her or finds her attractive, because I know ugly girls get laid, because guys are horny as fuck, and sometimes guys get locked in and marry the ugly girls because they have no other prospect and they like the sex and are in too deep and don’t like being alone, but those ugly girls aren’t famous and don’t have guys knockin’ down their doors to get a date with them because they are famous, so the future of Lily Allen will be her being used for her money and not for her pussy like all other girls and I guess when she figures all that out, it’ll sting, probably a lot less than the regrets of her abortion….

Posted in:Ass|Lily Allen|Miscarriage|Panties

2008

26

Nov

Holly Montag Shows Her Panties on MTV Canada of the Day

9 Comments »

Her name is Holly Montag and in case you were wondering she is the spin-off of her sister Heidi, that’s just how deep The Hills goes, it makes celebrities out of the family and friends of the lying pieces of shit who the show is based on, which means that not only does that shit ruin our lives, but also the lives of innocent people, who get caught up in the whole thing when they see how much money and how many perks their siblings are getting, that they need to jump on the fuckin’ bandwagon and get their fair share or some shit, and at least they are getting paid. I just hope for their sake they don’t think this is going to open any real doors for them, because the fame from this show is fleeting. There’s no room to show off any actual talent and I’m sure no producer would touch anyone who has tainted themselves with this shit, it’s like fucking the fat chick in your neighborhood, who’s pussy smells like gym socks and old cheddar one night when you’re drunk at a party, the same party the hot chick you’ve been working when you are of sound body and mind is at, the one who accidentally walks in on you in the kitchen pantry with your dick 2 inches (75% of the way) in this piece of shit girl that is only at the party because no one had the heart to tell her she wasn’t invited for fear of having her columbine their asses, and the same girl who looks at you disappointed around the same time they throw up in disgust and run off in tears because she was on the fence about getting with you, but just need a little more convincing, but instead of working on them proper by getting her too drunk to realize what the fuck she was doing, you go out and fuck the fat girl who smells that everyone teases.

I don’t know if that made sense, but being a fouth tier character on The Hills is career suicide, but at least Holly Montag’s got the right idea and shows her very white panties on Canadian cable channels, not that it’s that big of a deal, since only one person is watching the shit, but it’s a big deal to me, because the white panties my wife wears are only white for about a minute before the yellow mucus discharge faucet in her pants wins the wrestling match that is her putting them on.

Either way, I’m a simple man, and these pics are good enough for me and that’s why I am sharing them with you. Thanks girl on Facebook who I stole these from. I’m sure you’ll be emailing me to take them down in about a minute. Asshole.

Posted in:Holly Montag|Panties