Serena Williams Archives - Page 3 of 3 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

18

Jun

Serena Williams and Her Ironic T-Shirt of the Day

I am definitely not lookin’ at her titles, bitch, I’m lookin’ the other way, cuz she’s a fuckin’ monster, I mean after I fully take her in and get over the initial shock that a girl can be made like this, like she has a fuckin’ real vagina and everything, it’s on some Chastity Bono shit, but the other way around, because it was a good money makin’ scheme to get them into fuckin’ a woman’s sport and dominate, instead of living life as the biological man she is and just be a construction worker.

I met a girl last night who had high testosterone levels, she only gets her period twice a year and doesn’t look like a dude, isn’t hairy like a dude, but likes to fuck like a dude and all the fuckin’ time like a dude, and it’s the closest thing you get to being a gay couple that never leaves the rooms, except to take their AIDS cocktail, I mean other than bagging this William’s sister.

Speaking of stereotypes, I accidentally called a black chick Rudy Huxtible when I was drunk, cuz she was on that 80s vibe, and she wasn’t impressed.

Posted in:Ironic T-Shirt|Serena Williams|Sports

2008

14

Oct

Serena Williams Has Pretty Fat Ass for an Athlete of the Day

25 Comments »

Serena Williams is a fucking beast. This creature kills it on the tennis courts and now she is killing me while rockin’ a bikini. I know that I have attacked these twins for being the modern day “Ladybugs” or it’s newer “She’s The Man” spin-off, saying that their tennis father dressed his little boys up as girls at a young age to destroy all the conservative white folks at the tennis club he was the landscaper at, but I think I was wrong and that these girls are in fact girls. I also think I was wrong in ripping into them for being too fat to be athletes because lets face it, they always fucking win, and maybe my perception of being fit is not actually what being fit is, because I consider any girl not being fed through an IV or feeding tube too fat and instead of worrying about who or what they are, we should focus in on this crazy fucking booty, because let’s face it, it’s pretty much impossible not to. This thing is huge and I think I’m ready to see her make it talk, but I am not sure her bedroom floor or anything she’s standing on is strong enough to withstand the impact…

Speaking of impact, a little known fact about these pictures of her surfing is that the wave she is riding was created when she jumped in the ocean.

That little known fact was weak, I am going to take a coffee break and try to collect my thoughts. Today has been a disgrace to myself and in the meantime, check out Serena Williams’ ass.

Posted in:Bikini|Fat Ass|Serena Williams

2008

01

Aug

Serena Williams See Through Photoshoot Nightmare of the Day

26 Comments »

Here are some pictures from God knows when, because no one in their right mind would intentionally remember the day this went down, it’s one of those things you block out and pretend never happened, like the time I got raped in an alley when I was drunk, I didn’t realize until I found blood in my underwear and had to go to the hosipital because I thought I had ebola and my insides were dripping out of me, something Serena Williams knows far too much about, because her vagina is an anus, in all fairness, they did do a pretty solid job tuckin’ in her junk, I hear she likes using duct tape the best….what can’t that shit do…..

Posted in:Photoshoot|See Through|Serena Williams

2008

23

Jun

Serena Williams and her Athletic Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

Here is what looks like the fattest fat man tits I have ever seen. But the truth is that these things are attached to an Athlete. Now I don’t really know what that says about athleticism, because it looks like this Williams sister can eat my wife under the table, an olympic sport in and of itself, and suddenly I feel like I am not married to a morbidly obese, disgusting smelling, piece of shit of a woman, but I am in fact married to a marathon runner who just uses her old person state issued scooter cart to throw the competition off.

Posted in:Serena Williams|Tits

2008

11

Apr

Serena Williams Lookin’ Hot in a Bikini of the Day

19 Comments »

I’d say that these are pictures of Kim Kardashian in a bikini because I like bad jokes, but I don’t want to lie to you guys for the sake of a bad joke. The truth is that this bitch is the complete opposite of Kim Kardashian because she’s actually an athlete, while Kardashian just sits around and eats all day. Sure, she looks fatter than the widow who spends her days at Dunkin Donuts since her husband died since she doesn’t know what to do with herself but eat because he was her life, but the truth is that she’s some kind of champion.

I am guessing that she’s bulky as fuck because of extreme muscles, like this old body builder I drink with who did his fair share of steroids but now looks like Oprah, but all I see when I look at her is some kind of pro wrestler and not a dainty little tennis player and that’s probably why she always wins, it’s like going up against a tank and usually tanks are hard to take out.

I am convinced that she’s one of those Ladybug situations, where a dude dresses like a girl and cleans up because guys are better than girls at sports, but I guess no matter what she is she’s disgusting and here she is in a bikini…..

Posted in:Bikini|Serena Williams|Tennis

2007

12

Jun

I am – Serena Williams Bikini Body of the Day

4 Comments »

So to balance out the day, I figured I’d throw up these Serena Williams bikini pictures, even though I linked these fuckers in the stepLINKS last night. If you’re wondering what I mean by balance shit out, I am not talking about throwing this thick piece of ass on a scale to prove that her workout regime has gone totally fucking wrong, I am not really sure what I am talking about, but I was thinking along the lines of since my last 2 posts were of chicks in bikinis, I should give some airtime to dudes in a bikini.

I think it’s safe to say that her boyfriend is wallet fucking her or trying to get ahead in his own career as a possible hip hop MC or some shit and getting in paparazzi pictures is a solid way to promote yourself because there is no way he’s with her because she’s a good fuck or because she’s a gentle lady.

All the masking your sexuality and taking female hormones all because her dad wanted a champion tennis player can make any dude pretty fucking pissed off. I remember this one time I was drunk and passed out at a party and some chick put make up on me. I looked really pretty and felt like I had been raped. Taking away someone’s manhood is probably the worst kind of abuse a person can endure and making bitch live the role so well so that she doesn’t give up the jig when she goes out in public in lady’s bikinis is totally humiliating.

She’s the kind of girl who doesn’t have a vagina, so it’s in the ass everyday and I am not talking about in her ass, I am talking about in your ass. All the hard training and loses in her sport means she’s gotta take her aggression and frustration out somewhere….

I know that everyone is saying that she’s a dude and that it’s a pretty obvious joke. I am sure she’s a nice person who just does too much weight lifting to scare all the dainty tennis chicks off the court. It’s like facing the monster at the end of a video game only the real life version and she makes millions because of it. If I could make millions doing anything, I’d probably do it. If I was creative, I would have come up with a whole other angle, but I’m not creative so suck my dick and while your at it, jerk off to this bitch’s dick. Gaylord.

2007

16

May

I am – Serena Williams Lookin’ Like Jessica Biel of the Day

54 Comments »

Here’s a picture of Serena Williams lookin’ a lot like Jessica Biel, only this bitch isn’t out fucking popstars, she’s hitting tennis balls harder than I hit my wife. I don’t actually hit my wife, I just figured that a hitting the bong reference would have sucked harder than my dick doesn’t get. You see, I hate weed jokes. I think people who talk about smoking weed are a waste of fucking space. They are the burlap wearing hippie fucks you see riding bikes and playing hackie sack. I don’t give a fuck if a motherfucker burns all fucking day, I just don’t want to fucking hear about it. So yeah, I am a little tightly wound about those kinds of references, but not as tightly wound as the tape that Serena Williams is using to strap her cock down so that it doesn’t show in her cute little tennis skirt…

2007

16

May

I am – Serena Williams Lookin' Like Jessica Biel of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s a picture of Serena Williams lookin’ a lot like Jessica Biel, only this bitch isn’t out fucking popstars, she’s hitting tennis balls harder than I hit my wife. I don’t actually hit my wife, I just figured that a hitting the bong reference would have sucked harder than my dick doesn’t get. You see, I hate weed jokes. I think people who talk about smoking weed are a waste of fucking space. They are the burlap wearing hippie fucks you see riding bikes and playing hackie sack. I don’t give a fuck if a motherfucker burns all fucking day, I just don’t want to fucking hear about it. So yeah, I am a little tightly wound about those kinds of references, but not as tightly wound as the tape that Serena Williams is using to strap her cock down so that it doesn’t show in her cute little tennis skirt…

2006

19

Jan

Serena Williams is an Athlete

9 Comments »

I am not one to criticize someone for having a bad picture taken of them. I don’t think that would be fair, considering every picture of me is pretty fucking bad. I am not really one to criticize someone for being fat, especially when she’s a pro tennis player and wins all the fucking time. I am not about to pull up her stats, but by lookin at this pic, it seems like the way she wins is by eating the person she is playing against, or maybe she just sits on them until they give up. By lookin’ at this pic, there is no way that Serena “Heffer” Williams is an athlete anymore.

Posted in:Athlete|Body|Serena Williams|Unsorted

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