SFW Archives - Page 1047 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

21

Oct

Cara Delevingne for Some Bullshit Because She’s Relevant of the Day

Cara Delevingne is very fucking relevant…so I figured I would take the same approach as the lazy creative director behind this campaign who was like “let’s just hire Cara Delevingne to be in this shoot, she’s relevant”…to which the clients who I am sure paid him a lot of money said “that’s a great concept, but what’s the story, what will she be doing”…to which the creative director said “let’s just take pics of Cara Delevingne, she’s relevant”…to which the client said “genius”…

The fashion industry is an inflated scam, selling overpriced rags, using overpriced models to sell those rags, for people who are obviously insecure, empty, or who have too much money to buy into…because what else are they supposed to obsess with, or spend money on…right?

These pictures are so fucking uneventful, but Cara Delevingne is in it, and she’s relevant…and that’s all that matters in this selfie generation bullshit world…

Posted in:Cara Delevingne|SFW

2015

21

Oct

Sarah Hyland Eats Pizza of the Day

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Sarah Hyland got paid by a Pizza company to pretend she eats pizza…while showing her little tween looking tits that I assume are a product of her stage parents feeding her hormones to keep her as young as possible….because while looking like a 12 year old at a high school sleep over…this star of some bullshit Modern Family show is actually in her 40s..

She creeps me out, but I know you pedo fucks love girls who look young, which is why you only watch Teen porn, even though you know those broken girls are over 18, you just pretend they aren’t…weird.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Sarah Hyland|SFW

2015

21

Oct

Courtney Halverson from Leprechaun’s Revenge in Lingerie of the Day

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If you’ve been wondering where Courtney Halverson, the girl in the very important, possibly Academy Award winning “Leprechaun’s Revenge”…you know the breakout movie, that less than 100 people saw…and I know you have, because youre one of the 100 people who saw the movie and your nerd OCD can’t let your love for her die…then you probably already know, she’s in lingerie on the internet…I guess trying to get an actual acting job…that is a little more substantial than Leprechaun’s Revenge, and IMDB credit that I am sure aspiring actors have gone back to school to get a marketable skill for…you know like becoming a secretary, or some shit…anything by acting…

I like lingerie…in basic apartments…even if it’s boring…

Posted in:Courtney Halverson|SFW

2015

21

Oct

Aubrey O’Day Knows What Matters on Instagram of the Day

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Aubrey O’Day is a very fucking low level reality star…turned low level reality show bandm ember because she won the contest thanks to sex with Diddy, who apparently become the White Snowflake that other rappers and black people were into, leading to her obesity, as thickness is celebrated with those types, and she ended up going totally overboard…becoming borderline obese…I guess she had nothing else to do…before eventually deciding to go back to white dudes…and start working out…while keeping her fat ass, since that’s all that matter, and baed on this instagram pic, it seems that she knows that’s all that matters…

All this to say, aging low levels who made it further than their parents expected when they bought her implants for what they expected to be a stripping career…but didn’t quite make it at all…still showing her ass out of desperation..is pretty fucking great…

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|SFW

2015

21

Oct

Larry David’s Daughter Cazzie in a Bikini of the Day

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Larry David’s daughter CAZZIE DAVID …is a 22 year old , LA rich kid, and in being an LA rich kid, she’s gotta post pics of her fit, 22 year old body in a bikini on vacation….and thanks to her very fucking rich dad making an appearance on SNL, people found her instagram, and were shocked to see her as an instagram model, even though everyone is a fucking instagram model, all it takes is posting a bikini picture…or in this case a series of bikini pictures…

I don’t find this shocking, I don’t find her and her Judaism all that hot, her body is fit, but very few LA rich kids aren’t hot bodied, they live in fucking LA…but yes, she’s more appealing to look at in a bikini than her father…but probably less comedic…

The simple logic is these awkward, neurotic comedians and really anyone with hit TV shows and 100s of millions of dollars, get hot women to have their kids, because hot women like rich guys no matter how neurotic they are, and they have their babies, because it makes sense…and their babies turn out cuter than if the neurotic comedian didn’t have success and 100s of millions of dollars, because if they didn’t have success and 100s of millions of dollars…their babies would be cum in a shitty model pillow case while doing stand-up tours…

Doesn’t matter, fit young spoiled body tits in a bikini do…

It’s funny that all it takes for people is a fucking bikini pic on social media to matter…life is simple for girls.

Posted in:Larry David|SFW

2015

20

Oct

Weird Charli XCX Upskirt of the Day

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Charli XCX is flashing her ass…to remind you one of the many basic steps it takes to get noticed, talked about, and hopefully a few more media hits on your name so that people either listen to your music, or go to your concert, or even make a sex icon out of you, thanks to the paparazzi…so that more important people want to fuck you…and in trying to fuck you…hook you up…

I am always into girls flashing asses, under any and all circumstances…at all levels of fame…even this low level…even when they are just barmaids bending over to get me a beer…and bare ass is an ideal ass to try to fantasize about while jerking off..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Charli XCX|SFW

2015

20

Oct

Selena Gomez Loves Selena Gomez So Much of the Day

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Chemotherapy ridden Selena Gomez took time out of having a weak immune system and mocking people who are actually sick from Chemotherapy treatments…to promote her new album that Chemotherapy treatment announcements have been talking points in the marketing campaign they planned…it’s like “talk about your chemo to get america on your side, but only when you have something to promote”…

SO she posted this picture of her, that instead of being a picture of her, it’s a pictures of her having her picture taken by a bunch of people, as she tries to suck her gut in and play sexy….and all I see from this is a girl who needs 6 images of her in the frame….because just one of you in a picture is so basic…right?

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2015

20

Oct

Mischa Barton Almost Died of the Day

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Remember Mischa Barton…well, she fell.

There was a time when I was doing a Mischa Barton death watch, it was so exciting thinking that any day she’d die, but they never die…

But I guess in her death watch’s defence, you know she’s dead without being dead…as no one cares about her, and I’d argue that no one under the age of 30 even knows who the fuck she is…

The good years were when she was fat, unshowered, probably drunk or on drugs for at least a year or two after the OC…fame had got the best of her, and every time she’d leave her house, in soiled clothing, with her dead eyes, I would get excited thinking “maybe today”…I’m a sick person…

But I guess with this fall, we can hope the decline is back, the good years over, the demons back out and getting at her like she was Lohan, but never quite as hot, famous, or amazing breasted as Lohan…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Mischa Barton|SFW

2015

20

Oct

Elsa Hosk Naked for Adam Frnazino of the Day

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Victoria’s Secret is Elsa Hosk….is naked….

The photographer she’s getting naked for is Adam Frnazino…

I am not sure if these are from before or after she booked Victoria’s Secret and mattered as a model, or if they are when she was just trying to get naked and noticed, in hopes of booking a gig like Victoria’s Secret… I just know that you can see her tits, and tits…are more interesting than her in photoshopped lingerie pics…since you can see her otherwise airbrushed nipples…

She’s Swedish, like Ikea…

Posted in:Elsa Hosk|SFW

2015

20

Oct

The Tits from the Blurred Lines Video is in VOGUE of the Day

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How does this even happen? Oh right…the internet…

The Tits from the Blurred Lines Video is in VOGUE USA…and she’s not even showing off her fake tits, her fake lips, her fake everything that she designed to get to this level of celebrity….

I would argue that she isn’t talent and that she doesn’t deserve any of this, she’s just been clever in how she works the photogaphers who want her instagram followers….I know she’s done movies and all that nonsense, but she’s uninteresting, and barely a celebrity, but rather just an instagram model who has tricked a few people due to tits…

She had the right timing and went viral…probably in more way than one..yes AIDS….or at least herpes, it’s a small price to pay to get cast..

I just wish there was more substance to her, more excitement, more than just tits, even though I don’t mind celebrating a woman who has identified herself to the world as just tits…I would just be amazed if this career leads to anything more substantial than where it’s at now…because she’s boring, we’ve seen her naked, replace her with a young one.

All this to say, pretty shitty editorial shoot for the big break in Vogue, who are clearly desperate for attention…