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2015

Oct

Taylor Swift Face of the Day

Let’s take a moment out of our busy unemployed lives…to look at this perfectly captured moment Taylor Swift was nice enough to share of us…of her face scrunched up…in what could be her uncomfortable with the smell of Black people, as some people from Tennessee would be…or maybe it’s just her reminding us that she’s quirky as fuck and has zero sex appeal no matter how spread her legs are…or how many dudes she’s let cum inside her….because I have a feeling that this is what she looks like when she’s focused and about to cum….all like the kid allergic to everything in your elementary school having an asthma attach because he sat next to someone eating a peanut butter sandwich…and if that’s not erotic to you…you’re dead on the inside…even though Taylor Swift is never erotic to me…because I am dead on the inside…but gay guys love her…and so do the Christians…so her sex appeal, no matter how hard she tries…still drives her boyfriends to erotic massage parlors…that don’t give prostate massages but that still jerk you off…because either Taylor is shitty in bed, or they don’t even have sex and it’s all business…or she’s a freak and made him do it…because her people are her puppets…who knows…

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

2015

Oct

Fat Amy Schumer Demonstrates Why I don’t Understand Fat Chicks of the Day

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Fat Amy Schumer has pulled off a scam that I call Fat Amy Schumer….or maybe Fat Schamer…

She’s managed to take her fat chick being fat, talking to other fat chicks which is a huge percentage of the market, about how great it is being fat, because guys will still fuck you as guys will fuck anything to fuck..it’s a guy thing…that girls haven’t realized yet….

You see, just because you’re ugly, doesn’t mean we won’t close our eyes and pound the shit out of you..it just means we won’t take you out in public…or tell our friends…

That said, she’s very ugy… apparently hosted Saturday night Live…a show I will never watch…as an “It Girl”…I won’t listen to because just looking at her disgusts me….

But I know, she’s the not the first to be an empowered fat chick who makes jokes, most fat girls like being big, loud personality funny girls, to seem like they aren’t insecure, while they are all terribly insecure….something I think was proven in that she blocked me off Twitter YEARS ago…when she was first starting out and I found her vile…

Anyway, the thing I don’t understand about fat chicks, is that they are the first girls to shit on skinny girls and not just because they eat a lot and have a lot of shit to shit…but because they are angry and jealous….

Apparently in her monlogue, she targeted the Kardashians, because she’s into making cheap jokes that are played out to anyone with a brain…but let Amy Have her Moment…and hit the easy target…with easy content….easy comedy…for lazy America…who is multitasking liking pics on instagram…unable to process anything with some depth….

More interestingly, the pig who I am sure is anti slut shaming, victim blaming, body shaming…etc…is just a fucking bully herself, but it’s ok when it comes to the Kardashians, because they have no souls..sure…but are still people…so under their philosophy…shouldn’t be targets….for the fat monster…and not just because they aren’t lathered in butter..

You see…fat girls love hating on skinny girls…and all girls…but can’t take a little “you’re fat”…because it’s wrong…Just more hypocrisy….and ALL fat girls are like this…so angry…maybe it’s the blood sugar from the diabetes…or maybe it’s the lack of burning off steam in the gym…fatty….maybe it’s jealousy that someone can get healthy…while her face, the shape of an EMOJI just can’t…

This is the quote:

“We have to be a role model for these little girls because who do they have? All they have, literally, is the Kardashians. And is that a great message for little girls? A whole family of women that take the faces they were born with as a light suggestion? Is that great? No.”

“We used to have Khloe. Khloe was ours, right? Whenever there’s a group of women, you identify with one of them. Khloe, she lost half her body weight — she lost a Kendall. We have nothing, and I want good role models!”

To which Khloe said….and I unfortunately agree with. because clearly Shumer feels anger towards girls who work out…

No need 2 tear down others just 2 make urself feel bigger. It actually makes u quite small. I’m on a healthy journey. I don’t care 4the hate

It’s safe to say, let’s get the monster Kardashian and the monster Comedian, both media whores…in a caged death match…it’d be the only way fat on fat monster would be even semi-erotic…

Posted in:Amy Schumer|SFW

2015

Oct

Playboy Has Dropped Nudity from their Magazine After 60 Years of Nudity of the Day

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I don’t know why people care that Playboy is pulling nudity from the magazine, like they did with their site, all to secure ad dollars…

We live in a world where every instagram model and aspiring instagram model gets naked for their own “creative” shoots with creeper photographers to post on their tumblr…in efforts to get famous….

Let Playboy get their ad dollars featuring uninteresting girls in “provocative” non-nude ad friendly poses…with schlocky bullshit clickbait articles….or maybe their version of Esquire or Vanity Fair…all while every girl on the internet is getting naked for free…

The mistake or lack of vision for Playboy is that Hef became obsess with blonde hair, big tit girls…well into the 2000s….and instead of it being a fad of the 90s…after the 60s, 70s and even 80s brought erotica…he turned it into his brand…casting strippers everywhere, even creating reality TV as a polygamist with some of the most vile looking women you could get a lap dance from at any small town strip club, but that he managed to bring into his billionaire life to gold dig…turning what could have been an interesting, thought provoking site into gutter shit…

The mistake they made with the website was selling it off to Pornhub, so Pornhub could get funding from a New York hedge fund to buy and finance the billion dollar porn empire….because Pornhub, or as they are now called “Mindgeek”…know how to make flimsy porn content..and not good content..so they just cast any bitch willing to get naked for the website, usually trashy strippers, the kind with Chanel earrings and playboy bunny tattoos who dreamed of being in Playboy…they are all over instagram….

So they had a magazine and website that had nothing to do with each other, the website producing low grade porn you couldn’t jerk off to and shitty internet content…the magazine producing trasy celebrities like Holly Madison, and the other Playboy chicks…with shitty magazine editorial….

But it must be the nudity…

For 50 years…they’ve secured premium ads…but now all of a sudden, in a porn generation….they can’t monetize the magazine because of nudity…

Yet, if you look at the internet, every cute, normal, hipster feminist chick is doing nude shoots for no name photographers for fucking free…like it was Playboy…I have see so many hot, normal hipster girls in random tumblr shoots they post on instagram, that it’s like you don’t even need models anymore…every girl gets naked but it must be the nudity that is killing the Playboy brand…

I just think it’s the cleansing of the internet. You can’t fat shame, even though girls fat shame each other. You can’t body shame, even though girls body shame each other. You can’t be a “Misogynistic” brand because you feature girls in your magazine as the focal point, but you can be a fashion magazine that features girls as the focal point, because the magazine is for women….it’s this fake-feminist movement of girls with bush, and I love bush, who think they are empowered doing abuse porn…but posting a well shot editorial shoot of a celebrity nude is misogyny…

I mean, it’s come to a point where you need to ignore these ignorant “do-gooders” who think they are saving the world with their fake politics…and fake movement…when all they are doing is creating what they think is a stance, or an important movement, that they don’t live by, but like saying because it is good for social media…

The free thinking people, who are comfortable with celebrating women, because free speech…should just keep moving forward and progressing and lets these cunts protest outside head office like the Christian freaks did in the 70s….it’s ok to be controversial, you can’t please everyone…and the second you try to please the younger kids who are scared to be mean to each other..is the second you’ve lost…

What I am saying is the same feminist bitches who hate the misogyny of facebook…are posing naked on the internet in free the nipple campaigns…and advertisers who won’t sponsor good content because of nipples, even though we all have nipples, unless we are breast cancer survivors…should be boycotted…their products not bought…because it is oppressive…

I am not passionate about this, despite all the words I wrote…it took me 4 minutes to shit this out…I just know that I started the site in 2004 and have never sold a mainstream ad because of nipples and instead of not posting nipples, I said fuck the advertisers…I like nipples…and feel calling this site porn, when I have a no dick policy…thus not being porn…blows my mind…

Maybe Playboy doing this will open up the market to some people who don’t give a fuck and take the european approach to tits…and pussy…

My prediction is that Playboy will post nudity again…because we’re all fucking perverts and nudity will alway win….

Posted in:Playboy|SFW

2015

Oct

The Tits From Blurred Lines Posts before Nose, Lips and Tit Surgery Pic of the Day

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I don’t think that The Tits From Blurred Lines is ever news….she’s just a set of fake tits, fake lips, fake nose overrated garbage…with zero to no talent…on a quest to be famous…and it seems to be working out pretty well for her…

I don’t find The Tits From Blurred Lines hot, beautiful, intriguing…

But I do like that before she was famous, after I posted one of her low level nude photoshoots she did to get noticed, she went out of her way to tell me her tits and lips are real…

I have been doing the site for over a decade, and not once did a low level ever reach out to correct me on my claims her tits, because they don’t move, and lips, because they are fake and because my friend told me she gets them done at her dad’s clinic…are real…

I though “that’s pretty defensive of a bitch, it must be true”….

Since then, she’s gone onto ignore me because she got what she needed, attention…that went viral…and I’m convinced the end is near for her career-wise, there are too many hot girls out there…but I could be wrong, I am always wrong, and even if she went on to be Alba…who fucking cares….

It’s just nice to point out that based on the pic she posted…I call fake everything…and stand by it…even when she denies it…

Garbage…yes…but her parents don’t have upper lips…

Natural tits don’t do this…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|SFW

2015

Oct

CNN Posting Jim Carrey Holding His Girlfriend’s Casket is Disgusting of the Day

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I saw this picture that CNN posted on Sunday night on my Facebook feed this morning, because I don’t read CNN and their clickbait news, that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of the world, but that focuses on nonsense….

I realized when there was a war breaking out overseas and the news channel was focusing on Anna Nicole Smith’s death, like it was some kind of breaking story and not passing news…

Yes…famous hooker with huge tits dies in hotel room in Florida…of a drug overdose after years of showing signs of crazy – had 24 hour coverage…while a fucking war was breaking out..

I said…oh this fucking channel is full of shit, they are paid off to distract the retards…like some hybrid entertainment tonight…

Now, they are posting pics of Jim Carrey holding his girlfriend’s fucking casket…and yes, I realize I am posting the same picture to make a point…and that point is…what fucking good does it do, other than get clicks for curious people, to feature a dude who is relatively lowkey in the media, carrying his young girlfriend’s casket…how does this help society, why do we need to see this, the girl wasn’t even famous…

Have some fucking respect, you disgraceful TMZ pieces of shit…speaking of TMZ, they banned me from their traffic exchange because I wrote Paul Walker was a Sex Offender because his wife to be was 16 when they started fucking…because that would make him a sex offender…but the execs who own TMZ didn’t like it…because they probably have their hands in the Fast and Furious through their parent company – Warner Bros…because it is owned by Time Warner….which coincidentally also owns Turner…who owns CNN…

It’s all the same garbage lies perpetuated…

Posted in:CNN|SFW

2015

Oct

Eva Longoria in One Size Too Small Bikini Bottoms of the Day

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I will never understand Eva Longoria’s fame, but it turns out she’s really fucking famous on an international level. I remember meeting some dude at a bar who went nuts on me when I was talking about Eva Longoria, as I do, all the time, after he told me she was making some kind of appearance or speech….to which I said “who the fuck cares about that Mexican bitch”…she was on one TV show…that’s it…and it wasn’t even a good TV show…

It makes no sense…I know what you’re thinking, the guy who freaked on me was a gay Hispanic guy….but not even, he was some Irish straight dude drinking beer…who was very into Eva Longoria…

She’s not even hot, I mean hot for a 40 year old Mexican, they normally have 18 kids and a tortilla body….with no neck….but this one, thanks to being Hollywood, and the kind of white girl first generation Mexican, who hires Mexicans…to be her slaves just to prove how non-mexican she is in her primarily white Texas highschool that has turned into her life…

She’s rich, she fucks rich, she does fake charity work…and she wears bikinis like a middle age woman who doesn’t want to size up to admit she’s thicker…but prefers her fat spilling over the string bikini…that should be spanx shorts…

I’m not a fan. Maybe I’m racist..even though my name is Jesus Martinez…I just think this girl is full of shit, even in her bikini on some trashy hooker Pussycat Doll Fitness retreat…

I like the Estrogen patches….so feminine…

Posted in:Eva Longoria|SFW

2015

Oct

Jessica Chastain May Have Nipples in W Magazine of the Day

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Jessica Chastain is a Juliard Graduate…which means she’s a real actress…professionally trained even though I think acting is a farce, a lie, bullshit and just something people who have massive egos do because they are pretentious and arrogant and have a confidence to be an asshole playing make belief for an audience…but maybe I am wrong…

I can’t really place in any movie that she’s done, but apparently she’s award winning…I guess I am ignorant, but it didn’t take Jessica Chastain to realize that…I generally don’t really care about 38 year olds…or their careers…but I do care that she apparently important enough to show her old lady nipples in W Magazine….and nipples, even old lady nipples are fun to look at…part of the reason I applied for a job at an old folks home as a sponge bath giving orderly back in the 90s in the first place..before realizing…that there is such thing as too old nipples…and more important…vagina…Chastain has a few years before that happens though…so let her show off her talent while she can

Posted in:Jessica Chastain|SFW

2015

Oct

Taylor Swift Possibly Single in Vogue Australia of the Day

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The rumor of the day is that Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift have broken up, even though they played so in love, as Taylor Swift was trying to increase her cool factor by dating a club DJ and the club DJ was trying to increase his rate by dating an A-Lister, all while opening him up to producting hit pop songs, which is really where the big money is for this clowns now that people don’t really care about actual music….

Who cares…she’s a lie…her love life a lie…everything…a lie…

They were probably swinger, open-relatiobship, let’s fuck everyone because we’re both rich and famous and people want to fuck us, and she just used him for the media to give her another public relatiobship to distract from the backend where she’s getting her back end filled…

It is safe to say Taylor Swift is the fucking worst…not even talented…who writes flimsy and obvious songs…and the world wants to believe her so bad..in this porno world..they want to really fucking beleive her and in turn make her famous…

I guess in a lot of ways, she’s like the Christmas tree farm she grew up on…just in the form of pop music..because a tree is just a tree…but when it becomes of Christmas tree…all of a sudden it is magical and makes dreams come true for little Christian kids everywhere…basically the same think Taylor is…just less seasonal..instead of one day..it’s everyday…

Either way, she’s trying to sex up her image, blame the model sluts she’s stealing the souls from, and I guess that’s why this shoot fro Vogue Australia looks nothing like her…and almost makes her quirky zero sex appeal…worth…jerking off to…but she’s not quite there yet…at least she’s trying, what else is she do to with her time…she has a team that handles every single aspect, possibly even wiping her ass for her…something I assume Selena Gomez applied for…but could be wrong..because I am always wrong.

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

2015

Oct

Shakira in a Bikini Top of the Day

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Question of the day….

Even if her breasts are small and humble….do they still move mountains?

Or does a decade, at least one kid, well into her 30s…make her small and humble breasts obsolete…

And are her breasts still humble, after years of making stupid fucking money because her Colombian and really all of her latina fan base fucking love her..

So many questions…for answers I don’t even care to hear…but what else am I supposed to write about Shakira being Shakira in Spain for a commercial she’s probably making millions of dollars for since she speaks Spanish…and is thus loved by all Spanish speakers…because they like anything that is their own…ANYTHING…even J.Lo…right.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Shakira

2015

Oct

Alessandra Ambrosio In Shorts with Legs of the Day

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This is no way for a mother to dress…she’s in her mid 30s…has two kids…yet walks around like some kind of street hooker…I don’t know what I am looking at, a lingerie model who is just lucky she’s tall because otherwise she’d be in porn…or a hooker looking to get picked up..

She’s the mom at the Parent Teacher and activity days that offends all the other moms, because all the other dads get excited looking at her, and agree to go to all the school events hoping to see her there…dressed the way she dresses…because the real slut shamers…are other women…which is logical because all men love sluts…and I know what you’re thinking..and that is that just because she’s dressed skimpy doesn’t mean she’s a slut..her kids are with the same rich as fuck dude she hookered down….but I like to think you don’t need to live a slut life…to dress the slut part…sluts…in activewear are still sluts…often times middle age sluts…and not always as fit as this…but still eager for everyone to stare at their asses….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF HER IN SHORTS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|SFW