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Archive for the SFW Category

2013

25

Oct

Candice Swanepoel’s Awesome Instagram Pic of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel posted this Victoria’s Secret fitness picture on her social media, and I totally approve of this type of behavior, even if it is being trickled down to us from an evil corporation, because sometimes evil corporations figure out just how easy it is to trick us into looking at pics of their products by sneaking them on babes and making them semi pornographic, at least to someone like me who loves booty in tight pants, because it is hot….and really to the right person, everything and anything can be pornographic…there are enough freaks out there to get off to the weirdest shit…that this is up on some real subtle goodness I would like to bury my face into…if only it didn’t taste like a computer screen….and whatever I spilled on it last night..

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2013

24

Oct

Miley and Her New Boyfriend Turnt Up of the Day

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In the wise words of Miley Cyrus…

So it’s true. If you turn the lights off and look into a mirror and say #turndown4WHAT 3 times fast shit gets TURNT.

It is poetry from a retard who listen to too much LA hip hop radio…that confuses me because I am not a 15 year old medicated retard at the mall, but also because it’s set to this picture of her and her boyfriend…I mean is this a love letter…is this romance…if I was the bearded dude…I’d be loving every second of this ridiculousness…texting my homies being like “I’m fucking Miley Cyrus, Hilarious Right”…and we’d all laugh and laugh…because 3 times fast shit gets turnt.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|SFW

2013

24

Oct

Rihanna’s in a Bikini Again and I Like It of the Day

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Rihanna has proven yet again that she doesn’t need magazines to take bikini pics of her, she can just do that shit on her own, and even keep it interesting by getting into twerk stance…because really in this day and age…twerk stance is all we really need to keep life worth living and bikini pics worth looking at and in Rihanna’s defence, she’s a black chick from the islands, she’s not jumping on any trend, her fucking granny twerks, I mean not now that she’s dead, but pre-death she twerked…and her granny’s granny twerked…this is just a cultural experience yo….a half naked cultural experience on instagram.

Posted in:Rihanna|SFW

2013

23

Oct

Rihanna’s Instagram Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

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The interesting thing about Rihanna is that she doesn’t need magazines to do photoshoots for her anymore…she’s bigger than the fucking magazines and press is just a waste of her time…she’s her own fucking empire and can just put the shit out on her instagram and make shit pop..

Rihanna is the biggest fucking thing out there now and here she is posting pics of some random shoot that I am going to assume is for her instagram exclusively, because why the fuck else would they upload dozens of pics to the shit…I mean I guess due to narcism but in her defence, she’s from the fucking caribbean and was a loser growing up, but not the entire world loves her and throws money at her, it’s kinda hard to stay grounded and not thing you’re some messenger sent from heaven to bless the world with your bikini pics, it just can’t be possible that she ever thinks she doesn’t deserve this, because if she did, her handlers would be failing the record label, bitch needs to think and believe that she is important and that what she does betters the fucking world..and I guess these pics probably don’t represent that…but they are still worth looking at…because you know if a girl you worked with uploaded a dozen bikini pics to her instagram you’d think “what the fuck is wrong with Jenny”…then you’d probably masturbate to them….and ask yourself “what the fuck is wrong with me”….

Posted in:Rihanna|SFW

2013

23

Oct

Hayden Panettiere’s Ridiculous Product Placement of the Day

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I know celebrities from all levels, some personally, some who have told me to fuck off and some who aren’t actual celebrities but rather fame whores with a lot of followers on their social media…I’m talking actors, singers, pornstars, athletes and I’m not bragging, they are all horrible people…

I also know managers, agents, and publicists and PR people…again, not bragging they are horrible people…

Based on my experience, there is no way this Hayden Panettiere, little person to the stars, is just casually eating Burger King fries…holding the box like a spokesmodel at a tradeshow…like she’s getting paid, because she is getting paid, nothing like this is free…because if it was free, she wouldn’t be giving them free press, but rather she’d order in, cuz no one wants anyone to know they eat Burger King…even at 4 am when drunk…

I guess that makes her a little more of a whore than you probably originally thought, I mean what else will she do for money, she’s clearly shameless, let’s hope things that involved a sex tape…because I’d like to see that circus clown performance…more that I like watching her eat fries..

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|SFW

2013

23

Oct

Samantha Gradovile is Amazing in GQ UK of the Day

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I posted THESE NAKED PICS OF SAMANTHA GRADOVILLE FOR VOGUE or some other fashion magazine, because in the event you didn’t know this, fashion is all about the nudity, because nudity is so anti-fashion, making it ironic, and ironic is so in, and I’m not fucking complaining, I love tricking hot models into getting naked as much as the net guys…not that this Samantha chick, who is American, despite not being 400 pounds, covered in greasy acne, and eating a burger or fried chicken or a bag of chips, which threw me off too..and she’s amazing…this time of GQ UK and not naked, but still lovely.

Posted in:Samantha Gradovile|SFW

2013

22

Oct

Christie Brinkley is Amazing at 60 of the Day

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Christie Brinkle at 59 represents all the good SI has done for the world, because there was a time before fame whores and low level models with huge Internet followings that backed the magazine into the corner feeling obligated to put them on the cover for a third time…despite the obvious glandular issues no one seems to notice but me…

I mean historically, the Chrissy Teigens and Kate Upton and Nina Agdals were actual serious babes who we were excited to see in bikinis – not over exposed media machines who must works for free because SI is still a stamp of approval, especially for a Billabong spokesmodel turned gold digger….

Because there was a time when I could really embrace the model choices, from Elle Macpherson to Christie Brinkley to whoever the other busty and amazing bikini models they used were…and I guess seeing Christie Brinkley amazing at 60, even if she’s had some work done, reminds me that superhumans do exist and the team at SI found them…

Which bring us hope for a better tomorrow, because they have done it before and I believe they can do it again…

I mean I want Christie Brinkley in my mouth…She’s amazing and I can say with confidence, I rarely admit to wanting to bed seniors…if anything over 30 is too old for me….and SI is to thank for that….

Out with the new, in with the old…throwback memories of a better time!

Here she is talking a just SI

TO SEE SOME MORE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Christie Brinkley|SFW

2013

22

Oct

Izabel Goulart is Amazing of the Day

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Izabel Goulart is the fittest model Victoria’s Secret failed on, and in a lot of ways I like that she got deported back to Brazil where she takes a lot of selfies of her working out, because I like seeing selfies of bitches working out, it’s better than me working out and it’s far better than me going to the gym to watch bitches working out, because any gym I’ve been to, the chicks working out are the ones who need to be working out and not the ones who already won from working out…if you know what I mean….and if you don’t just look at Izabel..cuz she’s won motherfucker….

Posted in:Izabel Goulart|SFW

2013

21

Oct

Jojo in a Random Bikini Picture of the DAy

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I like to think the week, or maybe even life, doesn’t actually begin until you see Jojo, some low level practically non existent singer, who was possibly a one hit wonder in the 90s, or early 2000s….wearing a bikini on a photoshoot like she still matters, or like she’s on some kind of comeback tour, now that she’s pushing 30, no longer jailbait, and possibly running out of money…in a “Let’s give this one more shot” hustle…and the amazing thing is that bikini pics is really all a girl needs to get ahead these days, which brings me hope, because needing actual talent to get noticed would throw everything off…and all these low levels you are into wouldn’t actually exist…and where would that leave us…today…no where good I tell ya….no where good.

Posted in:JoJo|SFW

2013

18

Oct

Anastasia Ashley Does the Kim Kardashian Fake Selfie of the Day

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Yesterday, Kim Kardashian posted a photoshopped picture that she pretended was a selfie, but that was clearly a picture taken by a photographer, and edited by a photographer, because Kim Kardashian is a lying famewhore pig who doesn’t fuck around with her “social media”…because you have a team of people who do it for you…and when they do…they try to get as much buzz as possible…because the Kardashians are finally falling off, unfortunately not a dying breed, but still irrelevance is looking and that excites me…but not as much as if OJ took them out instead of his actual wife back in the 90s.

Last night, the lovely pro surfer Anastasia Ashley, who clearly has a “good sense of humor”…decided to show the world that “sense of humor”…with a pic of how a white one piece is meant to look on a bitch taking a selfie in front of a room divider…it’s like what can’t this babe do…from big wave surfing during the day, to taking bikini selfies that make fun of the lowest pile of shit in the corner of pop culture…and I guess we shouldn’t look too much into it, but rather we should look in her soul, by way of her fit, round, surfer ass I would, and have tried to chip a tooth on at least once…

The whole thing was so well played and I am not just saying that because she is the love of my life, my favorite person, my soul mate who just doesn’t know it yet, the girl I write love songs and love poetry about locking in my basement after drugging her and abducting her in my van because it shows how much I care even when she doesn’t cooperate or give back…and I just hope her next play is a sex tape starring me, that we film tonight…after we get married…like I was lyonsada….connected at the soul like it soul like it was Final Destination 5….

All this to say, she’s so silly and I got a kick out of this pic…post more….and by post more I mean…let me get you pregnant.

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW