SFW Archives - Page 613 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2017

26

Jun

Rachel Bilson is Boring of the Day

In the event you’ve been sitting on the edge of your seat, hoping not to break it, because you’re a fat fuck, for the last 5-10 years since the OC ended, wondering what the hell happened to Rachel Bilson, knowing you heard something about her being abducted by her baby daddy / husband – Canadian actor who hasn’t really had that high profile of a career since he was in Star Wars….you’ll be glad to know she’s still fucking boring…and that whole being abducted shit was just adding flare to her boring existence…as you can reference in these pictures, this is how she interprets a beach selfie to look, and I don’t think she’s that old, even though she is old….never too old to know tits / ass / nipple or really anything is the answer.

That said, she was my favorite on the show the O.C., much hotter than Marissa Cooper / Mischa Barton, even though she’s gone onto be far more exciting, drunk, a disaster, disgusting, fat than skinny – a sex tape star then sex tape cock block….while this one seems to be some kind of Mormon or Born Again in terms of sex appeal. Tragic really.

Posted in:Rachel Bilson|SFW

2017

26

Jun

LIly Collins in Shape Magazine of the Day

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Lily Collins is skinny….

Whenever I look at her, I think of her dad, which sounds gayer or creepier than it should, but I think of her dad because I used to fucking HATE his music especially “In the Air Tonight”….for whatever reason it drove me crazy…not that way skinny Lily drives me crazy, but in a way where I would see red and feel like I was being send subliminal messages like the Columbine kids did before shooting up their school….but the way I would power through is by changing the lyrics in my head…to “I can feel it cumming in her hair tonight”…or something simplistic because I am a half retard with terrible sense of comedy and ability to be funny….you night some low level bro joke….cumming in hair…my god…genius…give this asshole a TV show…

Well, it’s come full circle people, because looking at Skinny Lily Collins, famous child people like for being a heiress to her dad’s musical fortune, all being an actor because it’s hard out there for a rich kid with a famous dad, all I’m thinking is how I’d like to cum in her hair, pubic hair ideally, assuming she even has any in this world of bald pussy everywhere….

What it comes down to is that Lily Collins looks fucking amazing, I appreciate the butt shots, but then again I am all about skinny girls, in this world filled with fat girls, especially the rich ones who you know have deep rooted daddy issues the way we like it…..right….because we always choose starve your feelings, not eat your feelings…it’s the right way to manage your emotions.

Posted in:Lily Collins|SFW

2017

26

Jun

Alessandra Ambrosio Sunday Bikini Party of the Day

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Even when Alessandra Ambrosio is half naked, which is all the time, she’s a Victoria’s Secre model, she manages to be boring as fuck.

She gets paid millions of dollars for this and this is the best she can do..it’s pretty depressing…

But I guess she’s a mom and she’s pushing 40 so she’s not terrible…if all moms in their 40s looked this good, the world would be a very confusing place for me, I wouldn’t know what to not masturbate to…you know there would just be too much of a spectrum of good enough to get off to…I already have a hard enough time getting through all the dirty panties I convince girls to mail me….and my cut off age is 30…..I can’t take an extra decade of even hornier girls..thanks to depriving themselves with marriage and all other things…

Either way, she’s good enough, not worth millions, but good enough.

Here’s some Paparzzi Pics of her From a While Ago…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|SFW

2017

23

Jun

Eugenie Bouchard in a Bathing Suit of the Day

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I feel a close connection to Eugenie Bouchard because she is from Canada and people I know or that I know of – since Canada is one small town…actually know her, it’s one of those she lives less than 2 KM (that’s Canadian for MILES) away from me and her twin sister who is a party girl, who is still around the city partying, not that I do any of that…but it’s so local…so amazing…they are basically local royalty that everyone pays attention to…hot enough, rich, famous tennis sluts….and what makes it all worse is that for as long as I can remember I have had a Tennis slut fetish…and to think one was in arms reach, not to kidnap but to at least apply to be her personal waxer, or gardener, or just the guy in the tree outside her bedroom window and to have not done it…is a reminder of how I am not a get things done, self starter and opportunity will forever pass me by…

At least I can stare at her bikini pics, but she’s not that great to look at, even though, that bikini shows asshole. I’m more into the Tennis slut, it’s a fetish I’ve had for a while, the grunting, the panty flashes the glamour and the money…the tennis player in bikini…not so hype…

Now I don’t love Eugenie Bouchard’s body in her bikini, it’s not driving me crazy, it is a bit too fitness – but it is still luxurious enough for me to feel like I’ve failed myself and that’s how I like going into the weekend…staring at young rich tennis assholes…you know….the only way to go into the weekend…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Eugenie Bouchard|SFW

2017

23

Jun

Demi Lovato Instagram Erotica Continues of the Day

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Demi Lovato is on some kind of kick, that basically takes away from the kick she was on the last few years about being some chubby no make-up wearing instagrammer – you know to inspire her audience of fat and ugly chicks….but who is now recently single and rebranding as some GLAMOUR Model Instagram slut…busting her tits out in luxurious settings for no real reason…and it’s weird..

I’m all for a girl pushing out her tits, even one with a big neck, I just don’t like mixed messages…be consistent…either you’re fat or make-up free, or you’re trying this instagram model thing out to sell more records…but you can’t be both….well I guess you can when you’re rich and famous and the world is flimsy and forgets your nonsense and takes what you feed them….and I guess this era is the breast feeding era…good times.

Posted in:Demi Lovato|SFW

2017

23

Jun

Dead Instagram Model of the Day

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Rebecca Burger is a Dead instagram hooker / model who was killed by a whipped cream canister that exploded and hit her directly in the heart like it was a sugar daddy cancelling the credit cards on her…and for some reason I find great joy in this story of what the hell is this world we live in, where a fake fitness model gets killed by a sugary fat filled treat, what kind of world is it where all these face tuned to look girls are actually just fat girls with a filter, what kind of world is it where you get taken out by junk….it’s all so confusing…yet…it happened….and dead is sad…but it’s better to burn out than to fade into obscurity even if you’re obscure to begin with and your death is your biggest viral stunt….

All this to say…weird.

Posted in:Dead Instagram Model|SFW

2017

23

Jun

Heather Graham Bikini Pic of the Day

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Roller girl, who’s hottest role by far was roller girl, because it showcased her hot tits as a 70s porn star…like when porn actually mattered…Heather Graham…who must be in her 40s by now…and a mom….in a bikini, in a bikini selfie for social media…self produced clickbait you appreciate because you are still into Heather Graham, you still jerk off to her tits in all the movies she’s done, and you like seeing updated half nude content of her to see that she’s still around, to make her feel more than a film archive…I get it…kind of….I still jerk off to nudes of girls I fucked in the 90s that were shot in the 90s…on polaroid…that I still have…but then I check their Facebook pics out and remember why I stick to the archive footage..Aging, even when it is good…is awful…..but I guess not as awful as it could be…right

Posted in:Heather Graham|SFW

2017

23

Jun

Elle Fanning Titties in a Tube Dress of the Day

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People have a hard on for Elle Fanning…and I don’t really understand it. I mean she’s some creepy actress who rode her creepy sisters coattails so that she too could get paid for this acting nonsense…and it worked….but I genuinely hear dudes talk about how hot she is or how amazing she is…and I assume they jerk off to her in movies she’s in…none of which I can name…

So being a CLICKBAIT FAKE NEWS PEDDLER…I figure…why not post some Elle Fanning shot by the paparazzi in a tube dress erotica…because you like it….

I’m so generous. I steal from the paparazzi and give to the poor and pathetic…a modern day hero…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Elle Fanning|SFW

2017

23

Jun

Katharine McPhee in her Underwear of the Day

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American Idol Katharine McPhee who has since turned into some TV star I don’t really care about…because Simon Cowell Makes Dreams come true while he cums on Ryan Seacrest…or the pile of money he’s made by being some psychopath who knows how to manipulate the public into buying into shit music and talent contests as he cashes the fuck in…

I don’t know why American Idol Katharine McPhee who has since turned into some TV star is in her underwear, apparently she’s on set because she’s a real actress….but I know I’ll still take the half a second it takes to look at it.

Because when a girl selfies like this, you encourage her to do more…it’s how you get to the spread asshole nudes…

Posted in:Katherine McPhee|SFW

2017

23

Jun

Whitney Cumming Very Rich in a Bikini of the Day

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Whitney Cumming is some clever marketer who understood that she wasn’t hot enough to be an actress, I mean, I am sure she is considering most actresses are fucking bunk, but I guess at the time it was harder to become an actor than to break into comedy as the funny girl who talked about sucking dick, long enough and with enough conviction in her deliver to allow her to develop or at least attach herself onto a few TV shows that all came out at the same time, and that took her out of touring the standup clubs and staying in shit hotels, to the life of luxury a girl who sucks dick and talks about sucking dick, in LA, nevertheless, the land of opportunity for the right dick sucker deserves…because you know getting a TV show isn’t that easy and requires a continuation of that dick sucking but made more transactional…ROMANCE…SUCCESS…BIKINI SELFIES on a FRIDAY for attention.

I like her because she’s not that fat.

Posted in:SFW|Whitney Cummings

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