SFW Archives - Page 64 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2019

28

Nov

Tracee Ellis Ross Bikini of the Day

I am thankful that girls like Tracee Ellis Ross feel empowered to get into bikinis as part of their growth as a person…because we get to laugh at them..

You know as they work to find personal happiness and enlightenment even though they are about as deep as a piss puddle on the side of the strip club I made last night….that damn prostate coupled with lap dances leads to weirdness….good thing I dont’ go to the doctor to find out….

But as they work through their insecurities because they are fucking hyped on themselves and the internet is forgiving…or into this kind of thing…while I’m into disgusting bikini pics to offset all the aggressively photoshopped bikini pics…not to say this isn’t photoshopped…it probably is which adds to the joke of her posting it all “empowered”…

All this to say, who fucking cares about Tracee Ellis Ross….seriously.

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Posted in:SFW|Tracee Ellis Ross

2019

28

Nov

Demi Moore and her Slave at Target for Thanksgiving of the Day

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Nothing says THANKSGIVING like bringing your slave out to TARGET FOR SOME GIFTS (and a photo op) so that the world thinks you are less vapid and self involved than you actually are…Demi Moore you WHIPPET sucking, rebuilt by plastic surgery, dead on the inside, overrated and overpaid WHORE…

Maybe they are getting ready for Target Black Friday Sales….Demi Moore brought her slave to scope out the goods and see if there’s anything she wants…for the paparazzi…only to take it away from her when they are back home so that the Slave has a taste of the good life…for a few minutes before having it ripped from her because even the rich like getting deals and by deals I mean shitting on the poor both figuratively and literally.

Demi Moore is a horrible person, not relatable cuz she shops at target, or a good soul this time of year…and I give thanks for her no longer being in movies…

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Posted in:Demi Moore|SFW

2019

27

Nov

Pam Anderson Wetsuit Erotica of the Day

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Unlike Pam Anderson‘s hepatitis, Pam Anderson is forever.

Big fan, glad to see her out here on the beach in her 50s, rocking her bolt on tits, that I assume have her original nipples after all the iterations of her tits, looking pretty fucking wonderful…like the first time you jacked off to her Playboy in your friend’s treehouse, with your friend, not realizing what you were doing was in fact really fucking queer….

Pam Anderson so unscathed despite being totally scathed…at least medically speaking…that liver went through shit, because the dicks she put up in her went through shit…and piss…and Hepatitis….it’s just nice to see her not dead and still delivering….

It may be American Thanksgiving tomorrow, not Canadian Thanksgiving, and Pam may be a Canadian icon, who made it in America, much like the Americans made it in America despite it belonging to the natives, making her a THANKSGIVING MIRACLE to me…some PILGRIM shit who paved the way for so many sluts…a hero….who does more than save the Seals or whatever else her foundation is up to…but who brings celebrity to tits and reminds girls with tits that their tits can give them their dream life and I think that’s the most valuable thing a woman could ever know….

Here are those pics.

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Posted in:Pam Anderson|SFW

2019

27

Nov

Sophie Monk Titty Tape of the Day

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I read this as Sophie MUDD…the instagram slut with monster tits who has done one or two influencer campaigns, but who is repped by every big agency cuz she’s likely a rich kid from LA…

I’ve seen her peddling her nonsense on her instagram and just had those big tits on the brain, you know cuz she’s unloading calendars, to which I wonder who the fuck is buying calendars, or why a 25 or younger would sell calendars, seeing as they shouldn’t know what a calendar is besides it being an app….

But it turns out it was actually Sophie Monk and that’s fucking disappointing…the Australian who made it to America, fucked a Good Charlotte Twin for a while, who basically disappeared 10 years ago, back out here with her tits out…

I could have done without Sophie Monk, out with the old, in with the new and this is the old…the very very old…at least in girl years, which are like dog years, only instead of 7 years to every year, it is about about 3 years to every year once they hit 18….

So 18 is like 21, 19 like 24, 20 like 27, 30 like 67. I don’t make this shit up, it’s scientific research proven fact…

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Posted in:SFW|Sophie Monk

2019

27

Nov

Shanina Shaik Pussy Print of the Day

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Shanina Shaik is not Irina Shayk’s sister, but maybe they call each other sisters on their weird uterus-to-uterus meetings…You know that bullshit sisterhood they pretend to have, that they pretend are about empowering each other, despite hating each other at their core and resending each other’s success so much that they talk shit on each other to their mutual friends…but together, or in public…sisterhood…

You know the kind of girls who go to women only conventions, or speak at women only seminars about helping women, or who go on what women only retreats that they sell to their audience, where all the girls bring their period blood to do some shamanic ritual in some sweat lodge like they are at burning man to celebrate womanhood….even though they hate each other.

Maybe all this girl power shit that is a trend on social media is just a scam for them to make more money, but I think it is more about pretending that they didn’t get ahead by sucking on the right dicks…because it would discount their success to being that of a sex worker despite their success as a model being that of a sex worker…

Either way, here she is airing out her cunt, to celebrate her cunt, for dudes to jerk off to her cunt, cuz she’s a cunt.

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Posted in:SFW|Shanina Shaik

2019

27

Nov

Iggy Azalea Looks like Shit of the Day

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Iggy Azalea with her titty scars out looking like shit…or like she’s covered in shit.

Maybe she’s in Toronto where the fecal throwing weirdo just got captured, she’s been to Canada before, back when she was re-applying for her WORK VISA thanks to us being part of the Australian Commonwealth, we share a Queen….and is a place these idiots go to wait out their work visas….proving that your legit immigrants are far fucking worst for your culture than the illegals…cuz she looks like she’s got shit smeared on her, but that could just be part of her blackface cultural appropriation that is zero fucking authentic…

She looks like a 65 year old drug addict…mangled as shit…maybe it will bring you flashbacks of the kind of stripper you get lapdances from..the senior citizen you feel bad for cuz she hasn’t realized that her tricks that worked 40 years earlier don’t hold the same value anymore…but she doesn’t know anything beyond those tricks so she just keeps doing them…

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Posted in:Iggy Azalea|SFW

2019

27

Nov

Leven Rambin Strip Tease of the Day

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Leven Ramin showing you her best Thanksgiving themed dance she’s rehearsing for the big reveal at tomorrow night’s dinner where she channels the Turkey being stuffed…because “stuffing the turkey” jokes are as played out as any internet “pun” that’s ever happened…but stuffing the turkey interpretive dance…that shit is high concept.

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Posted in:Leven Rambin|SFW

2019

27

Nov

Hailey Baldwin Pregnant for Jesus of the Day

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Hailey Baldwin in Miami looking pregnant AF….because that’s what happens when you believe in Jesus and find young love and get married to validate your pre-marital sex…you know..no contraception…just cum in her like she as a porn clip because she pretty much is.

I wonder if the kid will inherit the muppet face…

WHY IS OUR RIGHT / HER LEFT NOSTRIL so big? Botched? Probably.

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Posted in:Hailey Baldwin|SFW

2019

27

Nov

Kara Del Toro Bikini Erotica of the Day

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Kara Del Toro is some useless tits on instagram and to expect me to dig through the depths of my soul to find something to say about her that is beyond “look at her tits’…when all that comes to mind is “look at her tits”…it’s not like we’re given any depth to her soul or anything to build off…it’s just some bitch on instagram trying to make it with her tits…She did Guess?, which usually means she did the owner of Guess? as they all do and that’s about all we need to know when looking at her tits….so look at her tits.

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Posted in:Kara Del Toro|SFW

2019

27

Nov

Lena Gercke Slutty Photoshoot of the Day

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Lena Gercke is some hard faced German model who probably likes to shit or be shit on, because that’s what Germans do, but you already know that….and you probably already know that because it’s the general propaganda that goes around about Germans to divert from that whole Nazi thing they try to avoid people bringing up…and planting a rumor in the rumormill that Germans invented Scat Porn seems to be the answer to that…the only thing I think happened in Germany…along with Electra and fetish parties which could be why all the porn obsessed millennials or at least a good percentage of them don’t know about or believe in the Holocaust…their idea of GERMANY is Oktoberfest and Fecal Fetishes…

That has nothing to do with Lena Gercke, but who cares about her, there are so many deeper issues we NEED to explore…