SFW Archives - Page 694 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2017

01

Mar

Girls Playing Flute With Their Vaginas of the Day

I’ve been sent a video of a Japanese girl playing flute or recorder if you want to get technical with her vagina, it’s from some Japanese TV show, where things that would offend America are normal, things that America couldn’t handle gets thrown into the mix like the maniacs they are…and I love it enough to want to be a Japanese TV producer, because I don’t like porn or want that, but I do like offending, trolling, and fucked up shit…so maybe that’s my calling…but in the meantime, I’ll just watch the clips…

Here a girl playing the Kazoo…

There must be more of this out there – I am bad at google / one’s enough..

Posted in:SFW|Videos

2017

28

Feb

Poking Kate Upton’s Tit of the Day

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Apparently this is video of someone named Erin Foster poking Kate Upton’s big sloppy tit – and people are pretty excited about it……because Kate Upton, rich kid, has been milking her tits forever, like the cow that she is, and she’s not about to stop now…they are her only real asset, the only thing going for her, I mean other than her trust fund she’s got from her rich family who invented the fucking washing machine, probably thinking “when we’re long dead, I hope our patent allows our HEIRS to use their tits for fame”….FINGERS CROSSED..

Her tits are sloppy and for someone who likes sloppy things because they are disgusting they are great…even though I find her pretty fucking disgusting.

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

28

Feb

Emma Watson Naughty Shirt of the Day

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Emma Watson is in Vanity Fair. Her fans are weird. They will jerk off to Vanity Fair like it was Playboy they found in their dad’s bedroom when they were 12, because they’ve been wanting to fuck her since she was 12…not really that wholesome – but being into Wizards and fantasy does weird things to nerds – especially – sexually…

I don’t understand the hype, but I’m not a Harry Potter weirdo who spent a decade waiting for her to ripen…they are a special breed of human…

LOOK – EMMA WATSON IS A FEMINIST…

Posted in:Emma Watson|SFW

2017

28

Feb

Petra Nemcova See Through of the Day

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Apparently this is Petra Nemcova rocking a see through – and I figure when you’re a Tsunami survivor, you don’t really need to wear clothes. Surviving a Tsunami, and not just any Tsunami, but THE Tsunami that put the word Tsunami in your vocabulary, and that also killed her photographer fiance…while she climbed up a fucking tree and survived….you can pretty much go through life giving everything, from life itself, to everyone around you the finger…because it’s one of those “fuck you” survivals…that gets you the green light to do anything you fucking want….it’s not surviving date rape, or an abusive relationship, or being cheated on, or gaining 10 pounds…it’s a natural fucking disaster that killed thousands…you get the pass to show us all your tits, but then again, I don’t even know if I see tits….people say this is see through, but it’s not nearly see through enough to really be seen as see through…you know…I want more crazy, more exhibitionism, out of this survivor…

That said, she’s still hot. Shit didn’t mangle her….but I’m sure everyone she knows is tired of hearing about it…like everyone who visits this site is tired of reading my useless opinion on everything….

Posted in:Petra Nemcova|SFW

2017

28

Feb

Bella Thorne is Magical of the Day

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Bella Thorne is the jailbait who looks 40 and who isn’t really jailbait of the minute….it’s one of those probably not so sustainable, and not because of her terrible skin, or even because her body or willingness to show off her body isn’t there…but because we are all wilted flowers, separated from our stem, slowly rotting away….and the world is a vapid, insignificant place…where nothing actually matters, where people don’t commit to anything, where we move onto the next young tight body showing off her tight body to get fans and followers, the second she comes along…and sure the one sold off to the industry by her terrible stage parent is still going to be around…and thanks to social media….will still make money because being on TV gets you started on social media….where the real money is…and the slut pics carry it, grow it, and help you monetize it…

You all know this, but what the fuck else am I supposed to say about Bella Thorne, that she seems fucking boring, trying to be ratchet, since all young girls are ratchet now…hip hop is pop and being a rachet is cool…so they are all doing it…like basic white girls…are fucking twerking and shit…and that is or can a wonderful thing….what was once reserved for strippers is now perfect for Disney kids…amazing..

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2017

28

Feb

Candice Swanepoel is Back in a Bikini of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel is probably in Miami recovering from Plastic Surgery from her Plastic Surgeon who gives all the VS girls Tummy Tucks….before releasing her mom body…to the rest of the world…via staged paparazzi pics….

It’s the big reveal…

It’s too bad that bikini is containing her banged out mom pussy, because I’d rather see something authentic on this plastic bitch…you know everything so manufactured and full of lies…

The Victoria’s Secret star, who has only worked in Victoria’s Secret…doesn’t even have milk filled tits…which brings up the important question of what the fuck is the point of having kids…maybe it’s some shes’ 30 and feels the need to breed with the guy she cheats on….or maybe it was one too many abortions…or maybe it is some South African AIDS rate related bullshit….and that’s about all I have to say about that…

Classic bikini paparazzi pics though…good old fashioned internet content…like bikini pics even matter anymore…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2017

28

Feb

Jennifer Lawrence Getting Paid Like the Hooker She is of the Day

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Very important Jennifer Lawrence was probably paid millions and millions of dollars by Dior to star in their commercial….

A commercial that has been on their YOUTUBE for about a week and that has 13,000 views…

People who vlog about buying a T-Shirt at Walmart, a black size medium T-Shirt….shot on their iPhone 4….have more views that this shit..and it’s Tagged Jennifer Lawrence..an overrated actress, who isn’t that hot, has great tits, but who is a tool in the Hollywood equation to keep budgets high…She’s awkward and annoying and for some reason cosmetic companies have huge budgets to throw at some Hollywood shit, because they are all fame whores….and feel it’s status….but I doubt anyone would buy cosmetics because Jennifer Lawrence said so….but whatever…it happened and I’m just using this post as an excuse to post this pic of her or her body double naked and mid-fuck in a movie called Passnger….

Here are those very important Cosmetic pics…

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence|SFW

2017

28

Feb

Alsion Brie Sucking Dick of the Day

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Alison Brie is some Comedic actress with decent sized tits, who I assume has been naked on the internet at least once in a nude scandal that got her booked on TV in the first place, but that I am too lazy to look up, or maybe I am just confusing her with Kat Dennings, the 2 Broke Girls, who aren’t broke anymore, thanks to a nude scandal that happened before she got her own sitcom….another comedic actress with big tits…who is fat while this one isn’t…

But she is so edgy…all posing with a bachelorette party dick cup…because she’s a comedic actress….all average looking, but loved by all her creeper fans…

I don’t know why I’m dragging this out…..or even trying to figure it out…she doesn’t matter, or maybe she does…but I consider mattering more than just being a slut on TV…

Posted in:Alison Brie|SFW

2017

27

Feb

Mariah Carey’s Nipple in a Bra too Small for Her as Kate Upton’s GUNT Meets Walken at the Vanity Fair Party of the Day

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Mariah Carey and Her Monster Tits were also at that very same event…..all crazy looking….but busty…in a bra too small for her because she’s crazy…but not too crazy to expose the nippple…

Kate Upton was also there…

I feel like this is the kind of picture some of the worst nerds out there would fucking love to jerk off to, so that’s my motivation in posting it…

Kate Upton, big girl marketed as a skinny girl, despite being a big girl, because she’s rich as fuck and could create or buy her own destiny / career…who has been starving herself and working out hard the last two years to be less fat….showed up to an Oscar Party…with her gunt in tow….where she met who I assume is Chistopher Walken….but who really could be anyone she’s trying to suck up to to further her career….

And Nina Dobrev…who looks like she’s dying of AIDS was there, but should probably have been over at the Elton John AIDS event…due to her looking like she’s got AIDS…but I’ve heard she’s got herpes…not AIDS…what do I know..

Nina Agdal was there in a sheer dress – and all it took was fucking Leonardo DiCaprio to get her there…good strategy…

Hooker Rat Cow was at the Vanity Fair event, because this bitch and her social media account money, have milked as many opportunities as fucking possible. She goes to every single event she can get into – to be some socialite – or to reposition to polarize herself as a legit celebrity, or model, and not a low life naked for attention gutter slut….that we now this famewhore is….trying so hard…while being garbage….amazing tits though…that’s all that matters…

Sofia Vergara brought her ass out to an event…sure she’s from TV…but she gets it done girl….

Katy Perry was there…not hot…but trying to be hot…making for a very weird face that has one at life in a push up bra….less fat than she used to be…but equally annoying I’m sure…

Thandie Newton Dressed Like Michael Jackson…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE OSCAR PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2017

27

Feb

Vanessa Hudgens in a Racy Lingerie Outfit for AIDS of the DAy ,

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Vanessa Hudgens wore lingerie as outerwear at some AIDS event which would be inappropriate if AIDS wasn’t the Gay disease…seeing as lingerie is the gateway to unprotected sex with strangers…or homeless people…or really trannies wearing lingerie…which is basically where AIDS lives now….

It’s not a death sentence, probably due to events like this, that take millions to put on, and that donate very little back to aids, where the people involved feel they are creating awareness while being all fancy, instead of just giving that production budget to AIDS…while the celebs just shut the fuck up….and throw their undeserved money at the cause instead…seems a little more decent…

But all this is to say if Vanesssa Hudgens had AIDS, now that she’s fit…I’d totally smear it on my face and swallow gallons of it…she’s great.