SFW Archives - Page 715 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2017

23

Jan

Eva Longoria Can’t Escape Being Mexican of the Day

Eva Longoria always came across as bullshit to me. I didn’t find her all that hot. I was convinced she was a fair weather mexican, you know the kind of first generation immigrant who was raised so white and spoiled so hard, that she thought she was white and was humilated by her accented parents. The kind of Mexican who would vote for Trump because he represents the American dream they see in the movies. Who would hire Mexican illegals to do her gardening and housecleaning and who would eat Americanized Mexican food…just to fit in….except when it came to the casting couch…where bitch was Mexican as fuck to get the job….

But as much as she denies her Mexican roots, her body…can’t fight it’s Corn Tortilla destiny….

Girl is thick…I bed her black basketball husband who dumped her when she was fit would love this new, short legged, thick version of her…

But I don’t…

Those hips should lie…but I guess it’s hard when you’re in leggings two sizes too small..and you’re 30 pounds fatter than you were two years ago…but not in your tits…because MEXICO!

This is one woman’s march…that shoulda stayed off camera….back home…on the couch…eating cake or whatever we’re witnessing….

I mean…unless this isn’t fat and she’s just got into body building….heavy squatting, dead lifting, ready to Mexican wrestle…

Whatever it is…..it’s not very hot…

Posted in:Eva Longoria|SFW

2017

23

Jan

Iggy Azalea Proves Back Alley Ass Implants / Brazilian Butt Lifts Don’t Age Well of the Day

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Iggy Azalea’s a digusting monster, and here is her weird ass implants she used as a marketing hook, looking totally terrifying…but that doesn’t matter, she’s famous and fucks black guys…they don’t give a fuck about a fat vile ass, in fact – they aim for it when they are cumming…but always seem to miss, knocking up the white woman in question…

I am a fat hater when it comes to my wife or when it comes to women in the public figure, I don’t like the whole fat girl with confidence dynamic…it disturbs me…

That doesn’t mean I don’t sex with, jerk off to, look at fat chick tits in bikinis in awe…when I am around them in person…or talking to them…

When an erection is in hand, not that I get erections, but I am pervert who pretends I do…and when that erection or the idea of that erection is in hand…coupled with being drunk…I fucking love fat chicks, they serve their purpose, are ten time hornier…and do dirty fucking things..

But when they are famous fat chicks, or in this case, fat ass thanks to fat injections used as a marketing hook, because her hip hop talent just wasn’t there…their confidence, ego is all out of whack and it ruins all that is good about being an emotional eating, low self esteem, willing to fuck fat chick..

Well she’s in a bikini and I wouldn’t even call this a Fat Chick…I find it a terrifying botched plastic surgery chick more than anything….

This shit is MANGLED…what are we even looking at…it’s not human..Great ass implants bro…Not that Homie cares.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Iggy Azalea|SFW

2017

23

Jan

Britney Spears is Looking Hot of the Day

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Whenever I think of Britney Spears, I think of how good a job her handlers have done with her while protecting their invesment, because there was a time when she turned 18 and did a series of insane things…from K-Fed, creating a fantasy for mooches like me everywhere, shaving her head, getting fat and dumpy and all those good things….and they pulled the reins in, locked her down…and now she is older, a mom, pushing 40…and looks fucking great…fit…and amazing…and great…

I appreciate a little conservatorship, or abduction…up on a public and legal Emily Smart situation…and everytime I kidnap I woman I’ll be sure to use Britney as an example of how we can make this relationship work…

Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2017

23

Jan

Shay Mitchell’s Instagram Modeling of the Day

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Shay Mitchell took an outdoor shower – because she’s now a luxury traveler on her instagram – producing content like all these other luxury traveler instagram whores – only instead of doing it on some dude from Dubai who shits on her chest – she does it off her celebrity….because she’s on TV…has a big instagram following….and all these brands, hotels, airlines, want her audience buying their shit…leading to a pretty good life for an already rich kid from Canada…who like Drake, tricked America into giving her all kinds of money in their entertainment industry – despite Trump’s wishes…of making America great, giving America jobs, and other shit he’s fighting…despite his wife…your first lady being an import….who signed up for the nice apartment, purses, etc…and not this presidential shit…

Either way, Shay Mitchell back is as hot as the 1000s of other outdoor shower pics posted today but girls trying to become travel bloggers – but who don’t have the Shay Mitchell being on TV celebrity behind them….

Fascinating…if you can jerk off to a bitch having her pic taken while topless and showering…

Posted in:SFW|Shay Mitchell

2017

23

Jan

Kylie Jenner Tits in a Lame Photoshoot of the Day

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Kylie Jenner has a mooch friend who takes slutty pics of her…and that mooch friend…just by being associated with Kylie Jenner has been able to take her instagram level photography to the fashion magazines that don’t actually care about content…but rather about followers, about who their friends are, and that’s really how it’s always been…

I feel like the quality of content 10 years ago was a little more scrutinized, meaning the friends of the famous people, were people with an actual skill, who were actually good, who had to put their money where their mouth is, and produce quality to get the respect….they may have been groupie, opportunist, suck up mooches…good marketers because people have always been half retard….but were more than just some garbage fame whore’s personal instagram photographer…

But I could be wrong….

I just know that if she was a real artist, this series would be more about Kylie’s asshole…something I’d actually want to see, not because it’s art…but because I like Horror….and gore…and assume that in her ass implant surgeries she had her asshole removed…to fuel making her ass itself bigger and bigger…like a water balloon filled with shit…

Fantasies.

Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2017

23

Jan

Kirsten Dunst – Old Lady Tits of the Day

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Kirsten Dunst is at Sundance with her tits any 35 year old will remember loving for a period of time in the late 90s, maybe early 2000s, they were so big on her small frame…a magical titty experience…the Em Rat Cow of her generation – but more interesting….

Well, I guess she’s on a comeback tour, she’s made a comeback, she’s back in the mix and back on TV…

So despite not being a fresh face, or really anything fresh, if anything, has seen much better days, years, even decades…she’s old, tired, washed up…she’s been eaten up and spat out by the entertainment industry many times, leading to rehab at least once or twice, and for some reason, never to an orthodontist….and she’s rich and fucking amazing…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kirsten Dunst|SFW

2017

23

Jan

Memories of Jennifer Love Hewitt of the Day

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Jennifer Love Hewitt lives…but she probably should just be a memory based on the sheer size of her….

The magnitude of her career, the skinny girl with big tits, who became the big girl with tits proportionate to the rest of her….

The thighs…that can crush watermelons – but not as much as they crush dreams…not to watermelon reference her big tits are useful now that she looks like a watermelon….not to mention….she’d rather be eating the watermelons…with deep fried with chocolate on them….watermelons….

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt|SFW

2017

23

Jan

Gwyneth Paltrow for the Foot Fetishists of the Day

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Gwyneth Paltrow is the worst…but This is porn to someone…

Someone with a foot fetish…because I can’t imagine anyone ever jerking off to Gwyneth Paltrow…not her husband, her boyfriends over the years, not Brad Pitt, or whoever else this rich Hollywood brat has let in her like it was a Jade Egg, before she knew about Jade Eggs because she was just a rich kid party slut trying to figure out the best scam to feed her fucking ego…

But maybe there’s someone out there who’s jerked off to her…but I think the star of this shoot is her feet – and the only people who will care are a handful of women’s march girls who need a dick in their ass…and…they don’t matter to us…so it’s for the foot fetishists…

I wonder where those nasty little toes have been inserted over the course of her career…

Posted in:gwyneth paltrow|SFW

2017

23

Jan

Shakira in Hispanic Cosmo of the Day

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I don’t know when these Shakira pics were taken, I don’t know if they are of a 40 year old, post pregnancy Shakira that are what she currently looks like….I don’t know if they are a 40 year old, post pregnancy Shakira edited down, like they look like they are…there’s no way a 40 year old mom looks like this, but then again she is Colombian and they do rot better…so you never know….I like to think they are pulled from the archives and are just a version of her because she’s fat and eating cake in her castle somewhere…but whatever they are…they feature her bare feet and as someone who knows foot fetishists…and we all know how weird they are…making this better than spread open asshole pics of her….

Posted in:SFW|Shakira

2017

23

Jan

Jessica Alba Shakes her Hip of the Day

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This is porn to someone…

Someone with a Mexican celebrity from the 90s who was cast as the hot chick in everything she did – before making a bunch of babies to lock a dude in – but managed to maintain being hot – before turning into a billionaire but attaching herself to some brand that’s worth billions – despite being dog shit…

Kinda like her acting skills…dog shit…

Because life works out for people who are hot..

LOOK AT THAT MOM BODY GOOOOOOOOOO

Makes me want to breast feed…

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW