SFW Archives - Page 730 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

29

Dec

Khloe Kardashian Fake Ass of the Day

My homie over at WWTDD posted the above picture of Kim K’s make-up artist double breast feeding her twins with her nasty Kardashian face, a look she created with the family plastic surgeon, and more importantly, her big terrifying tits, and when investigating who this bootleg Kardashian, who has potentially innovated a look so many garbage women are copying, because they want to look like porn chicks….I found this video of Khloe Kardashian, that may have already done the rounds, but that have the weirdest looking ass implants ever….on the monster Kardashian that is no longer a monster thanks to science….you know the OJ love child…and the video – is fucking weird….I had to post it…so I am posting it….

I know, on a day where Debbie Reynolds self destructed because she couldn’t handle her dead daughter…I am posting the birthing or maternal bullshit of another mother, pretending to be some social justice warrior and I’m amazed anyone would knock up, but it was probably an athlete from the ghetto who thinks this is what women are supposed to be….

Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|SFW

2016

29

Dec

Chanel West Coast Elevator Outfit of the Day

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Chanel West Coast posted these pictures of her ass in a see through outfit pre-Christmas and I am only getting to them now – because I still don’t know who Chanel Westcoast is, but I do get exposed to her content as it trickles down the internet and onto my computer screen – in content I won’t jerk off to, because this doesn’t do anything for me, whether it is impotence or disinterest or being desensitized….in a world where every girl, from low level to top level is naked / half naked / seeking attention / wanting to be seen…

I don’t find it exciting – but I do like to encourage all girls to wear this outfit… from low level to the top level…including my banker with the hot tits who laughs at me when I withdraw 15 dollars because the ATM only gives out 20s…big tits I’ll never seen…because all girls are into money….because I want to see thonged asses everywhere I go…all day…every day…

Posted in:Chanel West Coast|SFW

2016

29

Dec

Never Sneak Up on a Bear and Other Videos of the Day

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Greyhounds Hunting Coyotes is Distrubing

Fork Lift VS ATM

Russian Suicide Run

The World’s Tallest Bridge in China is a Bridge I don’t Want to Cross

Grandpa Terrifies Kids with his Dentures

Biker VS Taxi

Posted in:SFW|Videos

2016

28

Dec

Sarah Hyland’s Face on Instagram Live of the Day

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I was kickin’ it on Instagram, creeping all these topless bitches in instagram caliber shoots, who cleverly use emoji’s to censor their nipples, because they don’t want their accounts frozen, it’s all they have to live for, hell they are putting nude pics of themselves on the shit, they must take it fucking seriously…

And a prompt prompted as prompts do…saying “Sarah Hyland is Live”…I joined the Periscope of instagram where hearts on the right side were pumping, and people were asking her dumb questions she answered, while being ignored as I do….even though my questions aren’t sexual, because I get deleted when they are…so I asked her to dance, her favorite love song, to sing, etc…ignored…

But the interesting thing, becausae me being ignored is pretty much the basis of my site and existence, I mean name another dude with blog that’s written 40,000 posts in 14 years, who doesn’t even make 100 dollars a month off his nonsense…and at one point there was serious traffic on this shit…it was relevant…I know people don’t care and it wasn’t that relevant…but people fucking clicked….and I still haven’t got a book, radio, tv, movie, job offer…pretty fucking pathetic…

I digress….

The interesting thing wasn’t me being reminded I am a fat loser from some twat from TV…

It was her face, those cheeks, what the fuck was I looking at…was it through an iPhone Fisheye, had she got her already bulbous cheeks jacked up with shit….

So I took a screenshot to share with you – so we collectively say “what the fuck is that…and why isn’t it finger banging itself, stretching it’s pussy out with household objects, because thats what CAMMING is about you dumb sheltered starlet”….

Weird looking…as fuck.

Here she is grinding her friend for XMAS…

Posted in:Sarah Hyland|SFW

2016

28

Dec

Jessica Alba in a Bikini of the Day

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I had a conversation recently about Jessica Alba, not because I care about Jessica Alba, I mean I respect her Mexican elasticity in her skin allowing her to bounce back after birthing a few times, and I respect that she’s not haggard despite her vagina possibly telling a different story….but because people think I have some insight on why her organic, that isn’t even organic, honest, but not that honest company – is worth a billion dollars, and why she was a figurehead that people embraced, since her celebrity was always flimsy, her movies all fucking garbage, and her vibe always just the “hot girl”….and I don’t have the answers, it happened, blame the internet, or her executive team that was rich, funded, hired the best staff to make it happen, and I don’t care if she’s worth 100s of millions of dollars, she was rich to begin with and more zeros won’t do much more than feed her ego…and ultimately – none of this matters, life is just a distraction before death, as we wait to die, some people think a line of e-commerce products is how we should spend our time, others think slowly killing yourself through drugs and alcohol is how we should spend that time, but either way – same outcome – so I choose doing the lazy, and I have a feeling so does ALba, she just has people around her doing the work for her, a Mexican with Mexicans…living the life…

Anyway, years ago she was in a bikini on all fours, I’m too lazy to find those pics, and here she is a mom in a one piece…not on all fours, but showing off the product of being on all fours while homies busts nut in her….and it looks better than it should…I mean I guess when you have all that free time letting people run your business for you…you can go to the gym, I mean she’s a celebrity from when it mattered, you can’t expect her to hustle much for anything but trying to look good….

I like her mini cameltoe…and ass….she is good…

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2016

28

Dec

Sofia Vergara – Vacation Tits of the Day

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Sofia Vergara with Tits that You’d wish were your Sofa, and that are big enough to be your Sofa, but that probably smell less like old smoke, death from the guy who they found dead on it before you got it off the FREE section on Craigslist, and your wife’s vile and disgusting sweat….is an interesting story…

She’s an illegal that snuck into AMerica with her child and never left, but somehow managed to become some kind of correspondent or some shit for her Native Colombia, that intern allowed her to meet TV producers from LA, while living in Florida, who figured “we need a Spanish immigrant for the huge Spanish speaking population to relate to, let’s take on this one, because she’s forcing me to after seducing me with her tits”…or my other storyline for her, the late bloomer in the industry, who has pretty much buttfucked the industry that wants to and probably have buttfucked her, literally in her ass, romantically for jobs…and not in her paycheck that we can assume is absurd….is that her family runs the cocaine in Colombia, hollywood loves Cocaine and somehow along the way the two collided and said “GIVE HER WORK”…

Either way, she’s won, and in winning, she’s on vacation with them MONSTER tits….

Posted in:SFW|Sofia Vergara

2016

28

Dec

Jourdan Dunn Ass Stretch Marks on a Small Booty of the Day

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I would say that Jourdan Dunn looks like a skinny, bikini clad, neanderthal walking along the beach, like pre-human primate man, but then people would call me racist, assuming it has everything to do with her blackness, and nothing to do with her ape-like posture…making you people the fucking racists – not me….

I’ve just looked at enough evolution of man diagrams to know she’s got some fucking dragging her knuckles going on,, and maybe it’s just a misuse of the paparazzie, maybe she should be on all fours, spread eagle or some shit, you know she is a VS model, what the fuck is this bullshit, we can see her more naked – in their photoshopped catalogs…I feel robbed..

What ever happened to paparazzi climbing into people’s fucking hotel rooms to capture them shitting, or other really scandalous shit, instead I get “here’s a model you’ve seen half naked, half naked, but not posing, go jerk off to her if you can, or use this as a reminder that you can google her in paid photos doing better poses”…fuck that..

I want scandal, I want humilation, I want paparazzi pics that make these narcissistic garbage humans want to kill themselves in shame..where is the disruption, the flavor, it’s all so fucking lame….

But here are the pics anyway.

Posted in:Jourdan Dunn|SFW

2016

28

Dec

Izabel Goulart Seducing Us with her Beach Strip of the Day

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Izabel Goulart – the Brazilian fitness tank, who spends her entire year living in Brazil working out, doing erotic fitness videos on instagram – that have little to no value or purpose, at least not in terms of fitness….

But that you can jerk off to…and maybe if you do that long enough you will get in shape, heart rate up, burn calories, but we all know you’ve done it long enough, multiple times daily, because it is your only joy, your only friend, and that you’ve lost jobs, friends and real actual sex because of it, to know that it will probably lead to you getting fatter and more pathetic and useless…..not fit…like Izabel Goulart…

Well, other than doing the VS infomerical once a year, she does very little else, but here she is in St Barts, the richest of islands for FANCY people, and she’s doing a little stripteasae on the beach, to show off that body she works so hard for…it is all she has…and thank god she has that – because I like staring….

To See The Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Izabel Goulart|SFW

2016

28

Dec

Bella Thorne Looking Amazing of the Day

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I like the acne ridden, pocks so big it looks like she’s a meth addict clawing at her face, all big headed in both size and attitude, wearing her pajamas or what some people would call her period pants, that are strategically ripped, because it’s style, but I would argue strategy in ripped clothing has more of a easy access to crotch…it doesn’t need to be a big hole, just big enough to get a finger in….she’s a redhead, redheads are horny, she’d probably appreciate that…and maybe that’s why she’s got her beanie in front of her cunt, you know cuz it’s been dripping so hard…all fucking mentally fucked up being a young slutty celebrity her parents cultivated and exploited…

I’m into it..and would do the same thing if I had kids, because if we can learn one thing from Dina Lohan, Michael Jackson’s dad, Beyonce’s Dad, Jessica Simpson’s dad…and Britney Spears actual meth looking trailer park dwelling monsters…it’s pretty lucrative..I’ve said meth twice in this post…I think I need a hit….

All this to say…Bella Thorne is a child star I’m excited to see explode in some nebula of amazing…in the mean time…I’ll think about all the other pics of her where she’s not in oversized sweat gear…

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

28

Dec

Cami Morrone For Love Magazine of the Day

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Cami Morrone was smart enough to get involved in some Love Magazine bullshit, that is their “advent calendar”…that lacks concept, that they think is clever, that uses it girls or aspiring it girls, and that out of 28 days I’ve though two were worth watching, and sure I’m a hater, I hate before I see this shit, but I force myself to watch them in completion to really solidify that I hate the people in the shit, the vibe, the whole fucking thing…

So Cami Morrone was cast at the tail end of their biggest marketing push of the year, and she is in lingerie, her body huge titty and amazing, and they are recreating a scene from blade runner…and it’s terrible..it’s like why remix somehting that is fine just the way it was, it’s not good, or clever…it’s just lazy…

It’s like when Love hired their fashion video people they said “Pitch us ideas”…and this particular dude said “I’ll do movie scenes”…not Holiday Scenes…just scenes that don’t need to be redone…because it will be starring a girl who can’t act…in lingerie…and anything with a girl in lingerie is good…

Cami Morrone has a banging body, my biggest fail is that she was filming a movie in montreal all fall and I didn’t track her down and throw my semen on her…because I am old, barely have semen, and because that’s considered sexual harrasment…and more interestingly…she’s Robert DeNiro or Al Pacino’s stepdaughter or some shit…and I love stepDaughter’s with huge tits….making her pretty fucking priveledged and annoying, but with tits like this and not being a Hadid or Kardashian…I am a fan of hers…for now…

It will take a few more vapid, shameless, attempts at celebrity…making bullshit noise…in a world that doesn’t need more noise…to officially hate her…

But I do hate these Love Magazine videos…a lot..and that’s what this is about..

Posted in:Cami Morrone|SFW