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Archive for the SFW Category

2016

25

Nov

Catherine Zeta Jones VS The Paparazzi of the Day

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Pissed the paparazzi photographed my ass, thus sharing the photographs my husband took of my ass. Always a better option for viewing

I guess the throat cancer from eating pussy has got in the way of Michael Douglas’ photography skills, or maybe, he’s just too fucking old to figure out how an iPhone works, and maybe he’s not even on the iPhone yet, he’s rich, who gives a fuck about iphones, he can pay trained monkeys to do menial tasks like text, email and take pictures for him…because these phone pics are fucking GARBAGE….not just because they feature old, tired, Catherine Zeta Jones, who I’ve never cared for….but because they re pixelated, blurry, run through some fucking filters…

Meaning, I appreciate the protest against the paparazzi, the paparazzi deserve to suffer when you can work around their scamming images, and like celebrities I hate the paparazzi, for years I got lawsuit threats from them – over and over again – for sharing images I found on tumblr, facebook, other social networks….because they apparently owned the rights…which didn’t sit well for me, as a blogger, on the internet, where anything put out there is free game…including all the jokes I write that get stolen by movies…including this Catherine Zeta Jones pics…that are more of a protest really, and I guess she’s not that bad, while blurry from weird angles, like on her tippy toes, doing low level stripper tactics…that make me confident she wouldn’t exist as an actor or celebrity if she was to try in this era….she beat the digital marketing fame whoring and half naked pics makes you famous not raw talent….but then again, I guess she’s pulling their basic bitch tactics….

Posted in:Catherine Zeta Jones|SFW

2016

25

Nov

Heidi Klum Has Nipples of the Day

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Heidi Klum is dressed like a 20 year old college girl – while shopping in her tight jeans, stupid looking boots, but most importantly, light weight t-shirt cotton with no bra, showcasing her brilliant tits, that make no sense as tits really, because she’s had so many kids, I think somewhere around 14 kids….all with Seal…it was a Seal litter…that we can assume left more damage on her pussy…because there’s no real evidence of destruction on the tits….proving that she’s clearly created by Nazi German technology, where Hitler’s brain still controls what Germans put out to the world, where she’s rigged to some machine somewhere, because Germany overall means anything Germany puts out must be the best….

This doesn’t make sense….not just for a mom to have tits like this, but for a 50 year old…what is going on…I need answers….

But it does remind me of high school, 30 years ago, when a set of good tits in a cheap t-shirt was enough for me to jerk off to…sometimes in the back of class…for no one to notice…because I was that kid….

Posted in:Heidi Klum|SFW

2016

25

Nov

Toni Garrn and Sara Sampaio Caribbean Vacation of the Day

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Toni Garrn and Sara Sampaio are either best fucking friends ever and they vacation together – or they are on a shoot – but whatever it is they get topless together and put their asses in the air with a little duck dive…cuz it’s cute to show off your PUSSY PRINT….

It makes sense that they are together because they have so much in common as both have been exploited but well paid by the underwear empire that turns models into promo models….but pays them huge money so it’s OK, not to mention it gives them the work visa, it gets them in the right circles and Leonardo DiCaprio will fake fuck them since he’s more of a GRINDER kind of guy than a model fucker he’s marketed as…at least that’s the RUMOR….

So Toni Garrn is the German Leo Ex, Sara Sampaio the Portuguese skinny as fuck, who I’m sure has fucked her fair share of rich and famous people, but I don’t feel like googling it because who cares – all these basic bitches are the same….

Here’s the video –

Here’s the videos:

Posted in:Sara Sampaio|SFW|Toni Garrn

2016

24

Nov

Juliana Herz VS Turkey for Thanksgiving of the Day

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I have no idea whether Juliana Herz is an instagram model, you know the fame whore kind who get naked and hashtag the fuck out of everything, when they are not doing nude shoots with trendy photographers for fake publications….or if she’s an actual model…because really they are one in the fucking same these days, and really the instagram hookers are the ones making the bulk of the money and landing the bulk of the rich guys, even if it’s just for 10,000 dollar fuck sessions. So it’s not a bad thing to be an instagram whore because ultimately, all these girls, mainstream or low level are all doing the instagram thing…

That said, Juliana Herz is apparently Costa Rican and she’s killing this fucking already dead Turkey in what is oddly erotic / half naked in short shorts, video you’d expect Phoebe Price or the other low levels to be doing for coverage…

She’s hot…her caption “me in a bikini, lathered up in oil whilst eating a giant turkey leg…because isn’t that what thanksgiving is all about?! ”

This video is legendary and amazing – produced by the brilliant CHRIS APPLEBAUM /A>

Here are some more angles:

Some more of her pics:

Follow her HERE

Here are some more of his videos:

Chocolate:

Sparkling Water:

Spaghetti

And so much more – Follow his instagram HERE

Posted in:Juliana Herz|SFW

2016

24

Nov

Kim and Khloe Kardashian Ass Show for Some Magazine of the Day

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Kim Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian compared their broken down faces that have been rebuilt with shitty face fillers – so that they are a living and breathing instagram filter….while more importantly they also compare their lipo suction stomachs and fake asses because that’s just what these low life trashy girls who make a lot of fucking money thanks to being rich, connected, well followed while the industry throws money at them – because they like to chase followers – rather than chase good content – as the world – is all a bunch of whores – and the Kardashians are just the product of that world – the figureheads that more girls imitate rather than lynch like the witches they are…..Garbage fucking people….this is not hot….but middle aged girls playing “hot” instagram hooker…they are fucking muppets…muppets that should be killed off but who are instead worth ruining thanksgiving over.

There are only two pics out now – but there will be more – thanks fame whores for using fame whores to market bullshit – and perpetuate this hell we live…

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Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|Kim Kardashian|SFW

2016

24

Nov

Penelope Cruz for Vogue Spain of the Day

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I don’t find Penelope Cruz all that hot, but she’s looking better than usually, with her older face and big tits in seductive poses, all Spanish and amazing, like some Tapas, cheap wine, and other great Spanish things…like Ibiza and topless beaches….only more Hollywood and annoying….because Oscar Winners from the era of 30 million dollar pay days to be in movies – before the internet ruined that – makes small town Spanish girls cunty…..

Now, I don’t think Penelope is normally that hot, I never fell in love with her in any of her movies, and I used to fuck a girl who looked like her, I mean not really, but had a massive nose and would make me call her penelope as she “squirted” all over the place – denying it was pee…you know a Pee Denyer…the Holocaust Denyer of the bedroom…

This is for Vogue Spain, so I guess she’s bringing it home…literally…because they are probably very proud of all she’s done and as a thank you – might as well stare at her tits…

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|SFW

2016

24

Nov

A Thanksgiving Message from My Queen of the Day

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I used to live with these weird, religious, uptight, british people and every Christmas they would make us watch the Queen’s speech as some family tradition, before eating breakfast…it was their really boring tradition….

Well, when I saw this video of a Lohan making some insane statement with a snapchat filter, wishing you all a Happy Thanksigiving in her accent while talking about how busy she is…it reminded me of those days, only far more regal, relevan, important, inspiring even….you know words to fucking live by and watching her is something I’d want to make an ongoing tradition of, ideally in my bed, everyday because Lohan is not just my Queen that I worship, but my God…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2016

24

Nov

Pregnant Taylor Swift Manhandled By a Drag Queen of the Day

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Taylor Swift is rumored to be pregant, someone told me this probably 5 months ago, so I don’t know what point the baby starts to officially show, but she’s definitely looking thicker than usual, and I guess in efforts to distract from her FETUS in her WOMB from one of the many men she lets cum in her, she’s posing with a big black actor / drag queen from some Broadway play, because he makes her look thinner by comparison.

Now I don’t get off on cross dressers, I don’t go to drag shows, but I like Drag Queens, even if I’m pretty indifferent on the whole thing, but at least they aren’t Trannies, because Trannies, despite being appealing to “straight” homophobes are freaks of nature, while Drag queens are just a good old fashion time…

But I know at least one of you out there can’t help but jerk off to this, so this one’s for you.

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Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

2016

24

Nov

Sara Jean Underwood’s Butt Selfie of the Day

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Sara Jean Underwood is someone we’ve known about or followed for a pretty long time, she’s in her 30s and was known for doing Playboy, back when Playboy got girls naked and paid them nicely to get naked, before instagram was created and everyone started getting naked, even girls who didn’t have that Playboy looking stripper vibe, which is actually why this one got so much love, she was small breasted, cute, just a normal looking 18 year old, and 18 despite being legal is fucking young….either way she existed…owned it..probably even has a Playboy tattoo on her asshole or cunt or something equally classy…

Then she dated Ryan Seacrest who probably ravaged her ass like she was a dude or Dick Clarke or Simon Cowell who created him….because that’s what closet case woman haters do….he was probably jacked up on coke the whole time – to allow himself to get it up for a chick – as coke dick is a myth…

From Ryan, she got some fake tits, terrible decision to fake tit haters like me, but he showed her the mind fuck that is hosting, and she replaced Olivia Munn on a show that even featured this very SITE, DrunkenStepfather.com – more than once – because I’m iconic, I just get no love for it – and no one believes me…so that opened up a whole new world for her to reach nerds who could jerk off to her…then the show got canceled, the network shut down…and she was left to fend for herself…

Fast forward a fews years, all well rested and living in Oregon, this creature figured out how to grow her social media to massive size…and do the images she was doing for Playboy and really they are good enough…they aren’t overly cheesy, and she’s creating a name for herself, off the backs of all these other whores she cross promoted with, but she’s back in full force….

This is a video of her from Instagram Live that I watched last night and thought “Brilliant”….this girl is brilliant..and her ass is great too.

Now I avoid promoting her because she’s shameless, but this is just too good to ignore…Thanksgiving Dreams baby.

Posted in:Sara Jean Underwood|SFW

2016

24

Nov

Stella Maxwell’s Topless and Censored for Instagram of the Day

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When you’ve seen a model nude or topless for pretty much her entire career. From Shaved Lesbian Haircut, social justice warrior looking hipster, all gender fluid and pansexual, who wants to bring down the patriarchy, while huffing blow at the latest and greatest NYC parties – amongst the rich and famous – who she ended up dating for attention or an angle – because these idiots are all full of shit – and their edginess is all candy-coated nonsense that is for social media image….because this bitch went on to be a Victoria’s Secret promo model…hardcore, edgy, keep posting those nudes yo..it almost makes her seem sincere and legit in her hustle…rather than seem like a fuckign Kardashian…kids these days….no substance. But the get naked.

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Posted in:SFW|Stella Maxwell