SFW Archives - Page 942 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

07

Mar

Britney Spears Bikini Dance Video of the Day

If you’re done with Jennifer Lawrence, a supposed 25 year old looking like shit despite being one of Hollywood’s number 1 in her bikini in the Bahamas….

Here’s Britney Spears who isn’t in mid to late 30s destroying in her bikini…because popstars from the 90s clearly have more to offer than new generation Hollywood…designed to be accessible and regular…

I mean I guess there’s something to say about emotionally unstable puppets forced to do what they are told…because when they are told to get to the gym, they do it…where as Jennifer Lawrence is the one calling the shots…because kids these days are so entitled…

Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2016

07

Mar

Jennifer Lawrence in a Bikini of the Day

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Jennifer Lawrence decided to finally bring it…you know tap into what she is best known for…getting half naked on the internet…

I know people are distracted by the constant blockbuster movies she’s in, the constant Oscar nominations, the celebrity…the insane delusional commentary about pay equity and the awkward stumbling, scene causing, super famous but perfectly fucking average super star.

Spitting out water with big tits in a bikini is a solid reminder of the glory days of celebrity blogging…back when it mattered…before social Media made it irrelevant…

I don’t give a fuck about Jennifer Lawrence but bikinis are bikinis…and at least it’s not her BFF Amy Schumer…because that would be fucking terrifying….

But not as Terrifying as this being the biggest story of the day…..other than Kim Kardashian who is more famous than Jennifer Lawrence, probably makes more money than Jennifer Lawrence, and is unfortunately less dumpy than Jennifer Lawrence…which annoys me because I expect hotter bodies out of the really fucking famous top tier A Listers…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence|SFW

2016

07

Mar

Bella Thorne Body of the Day

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Bella Thorne brought out her bikini body that she’s created by being an 18 year old who is always in the fucking gym…but that wasn’t enough – she also decided to do a dance to really bring it all home – to make it casual, fun, quirky, weird…and half naked…in a bathing suit, that’s not slutty or porn but can be if enough people jerk of to it…

Fascinating….

She tries really fucking hard, but I guess you have to to stand out amongst every other girl fighting for the same fucking thing, it’s cheesy, it’s Disney bullshit, these girls have always existed, there cheesy has become cheesy and half naked cheesy which is the kind of cheesy we all like…

Here’s another one of her dances…

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

07

Mar

Kim Kardashian Naked of the Day

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Kim Kardashian graced the world, or her 62 million followers, which I guess is the fucking world to her, with some bullshit cry for attention that I guess doesn’t make her feel like the fat slob in her mid 30s that she is, by putting a casual censored nude out there…

I guess nudity is what makes her and her family more money than some small countries, and I guess getting naked and having sex worked once or twice and can work again….

This was her subtle, classy, elegant caption to help push the picture and make a joke out of it.

When you’re like I have nothing to wear LOL

The internet is going crazy enough for even noticing her…but that’s been the theme for the entire family the last decade and I dont’ fucking know why, she’s a pile of shit, and the only thing anything should be wondering is how many hours of photoshoot…but the people are still reposting this shit…garbage…but it’s news, this is our lives….

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|SFW

2016

07

Mar

Selena Gomez on Set of the Day

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Selena Gomez was on set of a photoshoot the other day…and her nipple was hard.

Maybe that has something to do with her Lupus, you know a side effect of Chemotherapy – something she was milking a while back to justify her being chubby and having fake tits….to make people feel sorry for her and it worked, get the sympathy in to spin and make money….

Where this is the TITTY version where she’s compelled to post hard nipple pics to her social media casually, in what I call a soft sell approach to being an instagram slut, because not one wants to be an instagram slut, especially not Selena Gomez, who is famous without being an instagram slut, but being the instagram slut gets paid…stay relevant all because we’re basic and like to talk about tits….

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2016

07

Mar

Shay Mitchell Ass in a Bathing Suit of the Day

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Canada’s own spoiled brat who went Hollywood Shay Mitchell – was in Hawaii where so took a naughty pic of her ass that she can pretend isn’t naughty at all but rather just showing off the scenery in her bathing suit – keeping it casual, but that is naughty, because she’s only posting this pic because her ass is in it to get more fans, even though she’s got a huge amount of fans, thanks to being on a huge TV show, because people still watch TV I guess, when they’re not watching youtube videos, snapchat videos all that other bullshit that doesn’t matter but that distracts from real life issues and I guess that’s important…in the dumbing down of the nation…

TO SEE HER LEGGINGS
CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Shay Mitchell

2016

07

Mar

Ashley Graham for Cosmo of the Day

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I remember when fat chicks in Bikinis were part of a bigger punchline to a bigger joke…you know to get a cheap laugh…throw the fat chick in the mix, since fat girls doing anything, from Obstacle courses to aerobics to sex is just fucking funny…

The only way for fat chicks to make money, other than working at the cash at Walmart, or starring in BBW porn for weird fat chick fetishists….

But now, fat chicks are being taken seriously, because if you’ve met a fat chick, 10 percent are the outspoken kind, who are the loudest pig in the room, and not the insecure weirdo emotionally eating kind…like Ashley Graham who keeps on talking her trash because it’s paying out for her….she’s gotta be the ambassador of something besides overeating..

I believe in Body Shaming…but Politically Correct Fat America, with fat people doing fat things and fat people doing skinny people things, like they aren’t even fat at all, while being all fat, so it’s paying off for them….so instead of accepting their unhealthy ways, their fatness, their disgustingness, they are not turning it around to get healthy…but instead stripping down and saying “LOOK AT ME”….weird…

Posted in:Ashley Graham|SFW

2016

07

Mar

Kelly Rohrbach and Friends in a Bathing Suit for Baywatch of the Day

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Baywatch the Next Generation is the “Springbreakers” of this generation, while targeting old people who know what Baywatch is because it was all we were able to jerk off to in an era before porn…while the youth don’t even remember a time before porn…so Baywatch probably wouldn’t have worked for them, unless it was a youtube VLOG on the beach with style tips pulled out of Seventeen magazine, which seems to be what the youth are watching…

The reason I call it the “Springbreakers’ of this generation is because it’s a movie that is going to be heavily covered by the paparazzi, partially because The Rock is there, and everyone loves The Rock, who is really an interesting story from failed NFL payer to Wrestler who hasn’t died of a heart attack, to the biggest action star…,but mainly because there are girls, some who Leonardo DiCaprio has had sex with mainly this Kelly Rohrbach character who thanks to Leo now exists…and is the star of what will be the worst movie ever…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Here’s the other one who used to have big tits but doesn’t have big tits anymore from True Detective named

TO SEE THE REST OF ALEXANDRA DADDARIO CLICK HERE

Boring but 40 year old Baywatch fans are probably pumped, even though it’ll just end up like Fuller House.

Posted in:Kelly Rohrbach|SFW

2016

07

Mar

Maria Sharapova Drug Addict of the Day

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Maria Sharpova is known for being a tennis player people jerked off to…but now she can shit on her entire career, that I don’t even know whether it’s that impressive of a career, but for a Russian who’s not working as a sex worker or Olympic weight lifter / gymnast is pretty good…

Because she’s a performance drug taker…The drug is called meldonium, she’s been on it of 10 years so her entire career and the drug became banned on January 1st of this year…she was taking it for “magnesium deficiency”…LOL…sure you were. I call it needing to make millions to send back to the family in Russia and to maintain the good life…

“Meldonium was reported to elevate the concentrations of ?-butyrobetaine hydroxylase in testes tissues;[5] in addition, long term (90 days) administration of meldonium was reported to improve sexual performance, sperm motility and concentration of testosterone in boars, although further studies are needed to confirm the potential of using meldonium as a sperm motility and sperm quality-enhancing agent”

I guess what I’m saying is that who cares, she’s old now, jacked with testosterone but here she is in some of her best work…

I have a thing for women’s tennis called sexual grunts and panties…sweaty pussy filled panties…dripping…sweaty pussy…

Posted in:Maria Sharapova|SFW

2016

07

Mar

Miley Cyrus Does the Jodie Sweetin of the DAy

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This is brilliant.

I am a Miley Cyrus flip flopper, because I know as a celebrity or popstar who was groomed/created by Disney, it’s hard to take her seriously as an “artist”…or really believe anything she does is authentic….

But it turns out that nothing on the internet, or really in pop culture is authentic, no one is actually tying to make a statement, generate any provoking thoughts, they just want to distract people, confuse people, and feed them shit that’s got zero fucking substance…including the girls on Tumblr that Miley is ripping off. Everyone just wants to get themselves famous…

That said she gets naked, I’ve seen her vagina as a Disney Star, and she keeps getting work and growing, so in a lot of ways she’s just the product of what we want to see, a puppet, the basis of Disney…

But this, along with her nude work, made me laugh….she posted a picture of here doing the Jodie Sweetin from Full House, who you may remember as a child star who developed a serious meth addiction and became a fucking wreck…

So this is not really controversial, but she’s trolling Stephanie Tranner and for some reason, a reason I call celebrities never make fun of each other, not that Stephanie Tanner is a celebrity, but other than seeing a celebrity naked, seeing a celebrity make fun of another celebrity, is about as good as those vapid assholes get…

Good times..let’s make fun of other child star and their crashing and burning because it’s LOLZ…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|SFW

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