SFW Archives - Page 958 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

12

Feb

Miranda Kerr’s Billionaire Baby of the Day

Miranda Kerr is normally featured on the site as a guide for you to follow in how to bed a billionaire being a “model”…

It looks like she was smart enough to not take any birth control, to let the frat boy over at Snapchat cum inside her….knowing that the child support from a second man with money…this time a billionaire…because she only does billionaires after the whole actor thing being a homoerotic and emotionally weird situation…is pretty fucking lucrative bother before and after the divorce…now all she has to do is get that wedding done and she’s officially set, not that she isn’t already…

I guess this is what happens when your ex boyfriend and fellow Australian, who virtually runs Hollywood, drops you for Mariah Carey…you go after the first nerdy Billionaire you can find and swallow his cum with your pussy….

My kind of whore…but not really, my actual kind of whore is the 5 dollar kind…

TO SEE THE REST OF NEW YORK FASHION WEEK CLICK HERE

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|SFW

2016

12

Feb

Genevieve Morton Tit in the Sauna of the Day

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I used to tease Genevieve Morton for being a plus sized model, because I truly felt she wasn’t being all she needed to be, and was really just selling herself short, maybe even being lazy, just riding the Sports Illustrated wave that made Kate Upton, even though they made Kate Upton, who theoretically distracted from Genevieve Morton as the busty blonde…you know how Americans are – supporting their own…

I just knew that the magazine would turn their back on her when they found someone more marketable than her, like a Gigi Hadid type, or even a 300 pound fat chick and an old lady in some Politically correct attempt to have a solid marketing spin to the female run media.

I knew Genevieve Morton shouldn’t put all her eggs in one basket and that she should hit the gym and make a life for herself beyond that low level, that was at one point in time a big deal, before instagram….that is now shit..

So I did what any asshole who cares does, I caller her a pig, until she got it in her head and hit the fucking gym, not that I have any impact on anyone, none of these girls know I exist, but I like to think my cyberbullying helps them be better than they were when I called them out…and they can’t really hate me for it, I’m not the one who told them to become bikini models..

Not that it matters, what matters is that she’s got more life in her, more tit to give us, and she’s getting fit, looking hot, and posting some almost aggressive sexy pics on instagram…implied naked…in still naked to me..

Posted in:Genevieve Morton|SFW

2016

12

Feb

Naomi Campbell in Men’s Underwear with A$AP Rocky for POP Magazine of the Day

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I used to have a friend who was obsessed with girls in men’s underwear, I mean to make it creepier, it was actually girls in little boy underwear, we’re talking the tighty whitie bullshit with the penis hole…it was in the late 90s, an era where the thong would blow a motherfucker away…and dude would get these girls to change out of the revealing panties and put on the little kid panties…I found it uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as the day he told me about how he got dumped by his girlfriend and he went to a gay bar and had 3 dudes fuck the shit out of him…also weird to talk about in the 90s….clearly dude was molested as a child…but everytime I see a girl in men’s underwear I think of him, even when it’s Naomi Campbell, the blacker than night, momma Africa model who has been one of the biggest pretentious cunts throughout the years, fitting seeing as she’s a fashion model, which is one of the most pretentious jobs that is hardly even a job, when she’s not out fucking Russian Billionaires…I know, this isn’t exciting…but she is simulating black sex because black lives matter with ASAP Rocky.

Posted in:Naomi Campbell|SFW

2016

12

Feb

Adriana Lima’s Eyewear Campaign of the Day

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I remember when Adriana Lima was one of the hottest girls in modeling..straight off the boat from Brazil, her dark hair and light eyes, coupled with her big natural lips and amazing body just fucking blew everyone away….

Then she turned 30, and for some reason, a reason I call being a mom and a wife and no really caring so much about bouncing back into things since you still have a few years on contract and you still make your weight requirements since fat weighs less than muscle…allowing her to still cash the fuck in despite being boxy and even sloppy…moms…it’s a hell of a sacrifice to make for a woman, who may still be Adriana Lima on paper, but is a far cry from the Adriana Lima you should be jerking off to..

Here she is in a Sunglasses campaign, as there’s no need to really show off that GUNT for sunglass campaigns…and that works out well for her.

Here she is for LOVE magazine – trying to be a bit more sexy and lit in a way you can’t see her boxy gunt…

Posted in:Adriana Lima|SFW

2016

12

Feb

Pregnant Bar Refaeli Hard Nipples of the Day

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I originally thought that Bar Refaeli is doing the old hang out with my bigger hipped friend to show off her lean my pregnancy is…because she’s pregnant, I saw her instagram post a few months ago sponsored by the pregnancy test that probably inspired her pregancy…but realized that she can’t be pregnant in these pics, she’s probably digging up old hard nipple pics to get some male attention these bikini models need…

Well it turns out it’s some very Jewish inspired tribute to her friend, on the right, who just had a kid….in some moms and besties, these 30 year olds with their sisterhoods, because they’ve been through so much together bullshit you can see at every Starbucks midday

This is her badly written tribute that will bring tears to your eyes because it’s about tears to vaginas…

Valentina, my best friend for the past 10years. The sister I’ve never had, my mentor, my guide, my better twin.

We traveled the world, we partied, laughed and cried over boys together. We lift each other up and without words, knew what to say.

The best memories I have are with you. We really Lived. Loved and Laughed.
I always knew we will forever remain close, and then you married an ISRAELI guy- means we also share a home.

I always knew, you will have the cutest baby- and Emily is far more than just cute.
But I never imagined we will both have babies in the same year.
Welcome to the world Erin Adler. You are going to have a partner for life, a best friend, and my biggest wish is the Erin and ?tbd? Will share at least half of the moments Valentina and I shared together.

Val, I know I’m pregnant and emotional but it is the biggest gift we could get in life, daughters that will grow up together and we will teach them -true friendship-

God, Pregnant chicks are so fucking emo..

Posted in:Bar Refaeli|SFW

2016

12

Feb

Lingerie Campaign for Valentines Day of the Day

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It’s Valentine’s Day, which is the most important day of the year – if you date or you are some middle of the road person who believe the movies she watches…you know the Walmart clerk living the tract home dream in a blue collar marriage. The kind of person who buys into bullshit, whether it is Taylor Swift music or Valentine’s Day. Just everyday tabloid reading folk…

These are who Valentine’s Day was created for. It’s one of those “let’s give sad sad people one day to feel the romance they see in the movies, or at least that’s how we will market it, to instill enough insecurity in themselves and their relationships, causing unnecessary stresses that will lead to celebrating their love, that isn’t even love, since love doesn’t exist, it is just co-dependence, by getting in Debt”…

You know that who “one day of the year to celebrate their love so hard it will solve all the problems in their relationship and lives, when really it just creates unnecessary stress, and torment as people try to prove themselves, or they forget to prove themselves, leaving the other person feeling unappreciated for the lack of attention and effort”….

It is also the day of “I’ll wear this lingerie to give him a sexual fantasy now that we only fuck one day a week or less and it is more conventional masturbation more than anything because I am dead inside thanks to being in a relationship”…

I’m not sure what is more disappointing, the the middle of the road women expecting to be proposed to, only to get a box of chocolates that will happen Sunday, the credit card debt from gifts no one needs, or the way their middle aged mom body looks in panties…I’m going with option 3.

Here’s a brand of panties…with their panty campaign…featuring I don’t fucking know who..

Posted in:Lingerie|SFW

2016

12

Feb

Gigi Hadid Hits 13 Million Followers on Instagram of the Day

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13 million people care about some average looking half arab rich girl from LA and shows off her tits.

Here she is with her possibly homosexual, possibly trans like her BFFs dad Bruce, because that’s the LA trend for these obsessed with vanity freaks, getting botox and face lifts like a bunch of fucking girls, because I guess the reason they got rich was because of that narcissism and ego that allowed them to take the necessary risks…risks that now lets him fuck girls who are less famous models that his GIGI, but who are hotter than GIGI because she’s not that hot…she’s not even a model…she’s just an instagram person who has 13 million followers, in part thanks to her dad investing some money in a marketing company, and her possibly being signed to the Kendall Jenner school of modeling…..

So when these magazines booker her and brands hire her, it’s not because they think she’s a natural talent, or good as a personality, they just know she’s a rich kid with an ego and a dream…so she’ll try to fake it but more importantly has 13 million people they can reach when they book her, knowing one pic on her instagram, something that takes 3 minutes to do, will get 1,000,000 likes…massive.

I guess this is the “model” version of the 1%, unfair for the half arab average looking girls out there who want 13 million followers, but who don’t have the resources to buy them through friends, parties and PR teams…

It’s all a lie! Like her being at Kanye’s fashion show, like a groupie and someone who owes the Kardashians, despite him “dissing” Taylor Swift, her BFF, putting her in this “who do I stand by and how can my team allow me to stand for everyone and everything to get more jobs and not offend anyone”…

Almost as dumb as me writing about this shit..

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2016

11

Feb

Hilary Duff’s Nipples Leave Maui of the Day

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Vacation is over for Hilary Duff, she’s back on set for some TV show you’ve probably never seen or heard of because who the fuck cares about Hilary Duff…or her excitement over a mini van, because it’s not a G Wagon Benz….

This is me…. Driving a mini van ????????????????

A photo posted by Hilary Duff (@hilaryduff) on Feb 10, 2016 at 6:55pm PST

So I figure we should end the vacation, the right way, with hard Hilary Duff nipples, while covering her thick, muscular mom body…

I may not be a Hilary Duff fan, as Hilary Duff fans are weird creeps who have been watching her every move the last two decades..but she doesn’t offend me, even though if there was a checklist of things that offend me, she’d be on the offensive side of things…but luckily I just don’t care and post bikini pics of anything that comes along…it’s a very pathetic life that I live…

TO SEE ALL OF HILARY DUFF “HOTNESS” CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2016

11

Feb

Bella Thorne is a Self Obsessed Narcissist of the Day

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Every fucking day this Bella Thorne girl takes a series of selfies, celebrating her tits and her ass, like some some obsessed narcissist cunt, that we can assume she is, whether she’s 40 years old like I predict she is, pretending to be an 18 year old, acting like how all the 18 year olds act, pretty pumped about her trolling the world…or if she’s an 18 year old acting like all the 18 year olds act…it’s still a series of self documentation, staring at herself, sharing her every move with the creepy perverts who are into her…and I don’t think that this is going to end that well…but then again, I’m not a psychiatrist or even a sociologist, maybe everything that has been wrong in humanity the last 2000 years, we haven’t spent enough time looking at ourselves, thinking about ourselves, with our heads so far up our hot fit asses…leading to war, famine, natural disaster. ETC.

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

11

Feb

New York Fashion Week is On of the Day

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Like clockwork, every February, New York hosts fashion week….which is not that exciting, because Paris, London and Milan also host a fashion week….actually pretty much every single city does fashion weeks..because rich people like fashion…it gives them something to spend their money on, it gives them some material good to try to feel superior to other rich people or at least on par with other rich people…because how could they survive a life where they have last season’s outfits…

The reality is…none of this fashion shit fucking matters. It’s just noise designed to make people who pay attention feel inadequate, while making the people selling people who own closets of perfectly good clothing, the latest clothing…pretentious, over consumption, disgusting…and what better way to solidify that than to use vapid shitty models and Emily Ratajkowski at some AIDS charity event that probably costs more than it raises for AIDS..even though AIDS is a myth and not a death sentence anymore…

Garbage…I’d name them off as their levels of irrelevance…but I’m too busy laughing at Adriana Lima’s clearly photoshopped in all her VS campaigns belly….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:NYFW|SFW

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