SFW Archives - Page 957 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

15

Feb

Elle Fanning for Vogue Australia of the Day

Elle Fanning is the sister of creepy Dakota fanning…

She’s 17…

So I guess Vogue Australia thinks it’s ok to dress up 17 year olds in lacy outfits…which isn’t as bad as you jerking off to 17 year olds in lacy outfits….who I guess don’t count as 17 because they are from Hollywood and in movies and thus have no parents or souls…having sex at 12 with creepy perverts because it’s the Wild West with no rules..they are the fucking rules…and they distract their vapid and disgustingness with morally sound movies…

Oh wait, she does have a dad, his name is Steven J. Fanning, who played minor league baseball for teams affiliated with the St. Louis Cardinals and now works as an electronics salesman in Los Angeles..

I guess at 17, it’s grey area legally, but knowing you – you’ve been a fan since “I am Sam”…

Posted in:Elle Fanning|SFW

2016

15

Feb

Hannah Ferguson’s Twerking of the Day

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I think you can see her asshole…

I spent an hour doing some Sports Illustrated Coverage – because I don’t bother producing my own content that often and would rather point and laugh at the lack of creativity from my soiled poverty stricken couch…it’s the life of a loser critic….

When Sports Illustrated pops off every year, there’s hours of footage and outtakes for each of these girls they use…so for the next year random shit they do will come together and be promoted…their brand depends on it almost as much as most of the girls depend on SI promoting them to get work…

Here’s Hannah Ferguson….doing a stripper dance twerk – which is not all that far off from where she probably should be working – but thanks to SI 2014, doesn’t have to…

Shoutout to Bob for sending this in…

Posted in:Hannah Ferguson|SFW

2016

15

Feb

Xenia Deli Eats Herself Out of the Day

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Xenia Deli been around for a while, but I saw her big break while getting a lap dance at a strip club a few weeks ago, when their background video wasn’t the usual porn, but rather music videos set to the song they were playing…and Xenia Deli’s song happened to be one of Bieber’s songs….and she’s pretty much fucking him in video, which would make it safe to assume she’s fucked him in life…and when you’re some immigrant model naked after a place where meat runs rampant…in what could be your big break piggy backing on the massive pop star…you do what you gotta…

You see, she’s from a place where hotter women then her are sold and traded for less than she makes an hour, making her a bit more grateful in her life, being the different kind of prostitute, the better kind of prostitute…who does it on her own terms because she is considered a model…which to rich guys, is interchangeable..and when it looks like this, it should make you want to be a rich dude….

Posted in:SFW|Xenia Deli

2016

15

Feb

Sara Jean Underwood Has Figured Out Instagram of the Day

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I think we should take a minute to give Sara Jean Underwood some credit – where credit is deserved….

You see, we know that instagram is a place where pretty much every girl with an instagram is using it as a platform to post sleazy pics of themselves…but we have to remember there was an evolution to this.

There was a time when only the real strippers and bar maids, before bottle service girls even existed, would use Myspace to post cheesy half naked shoots…but the average girl would debate or even be reprimanded by family for posting anything remotely sexual…

They worried about “career as politicians” or “professionals” or whatever…

While this Sara Jean Underwood – was like – I want to do Playboy, I’m hot, I’m 18, fuck school, let’s get fucking naked…

She knew the dream, the fame, the possible fortune all for getting naked was the fucking answer and didn’t worry about what anyone thought…

She went onto fuck Seacrest up the ass for a while, TV host for the nerds, but now…now she’s on instagram in what some could see as “doing what the insta whores are doing”….but for the old timers like me…she’s doing what’s always been hers to do…

Here she is some video

Posted in:Sara Jean Underwood|SFW

2016

15

Feb

Ex-Team USA Gymnast Ass with Mckayla Maroney of the Day

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Mckayla Maroney was an American hero back in 2012 when she won at least one Olympic medal, but who as soon as that was over appeased her “stage parents” or what we call in Canada “Hockey Mom” with her version of a NHL Draft, which allowed her to focus on what I guess she was more into…being slutty on the internet..

A long time ago, there was that whole Band Camp girl on American pie, who was obviously and blown out version of these kids who are forced into a close knit circle, where they develop their perversions together, all while being socially awkward…where the cool kids aren’t staying in hotels together, which opens the door for fucking…so Gymnastics, or any sports, along with Band…is really just a great place for kids to fuck each other…and develop weird perversions…all with the help of their coaches…

So it’s possible that paved the way for being slutty on the internet, but it probably had more to do with everyone being slutty on the internet…or even more likely, loving all the attention she was getting with tweets directed at her by fucking perverts…everywhere…allowing her to find herself as a booty model..

Because I just googled her to see if she was on Team USA for 2016 in rio..and she’s not..
but her ass is on her social media…and that could be better than another Olymic medal, because it requires less work….just ask Bruce Jenner.

Posted in:McKayla Maroney|SFW

2016

15

Feb

The Day Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Died or Not of the Day

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Who the fuck is the adviser at SI, and do they have access to Instagram?

Do they have any idea who their target market is, or are they more into appeasing the outspoken haters who don’t read their magazines, but rather just complain about the fact that they objectify women.

Is this the skin issue that was a special feature for their subscribers to jerk off to in an era when porn wasn’t available, an issue that made stars out of girls or are they just bottom feeding and struggling to find their little niche in this media landscape.

I don’t know who they are speaking to, but they aren’t speaking to the bros and frat boys who read their shit…and really neither am I, but the frat boys like to call me a whiney little bitch thanks to their inability to read.

I am just watching the human condition unfold, and I will say that risk taking has been lost….there was a time when the previous editor of the Swim supplement would think taking a risk was showing a nipple in a Sports Magazine as to bot seem obscene like their porn competitors….

But now – it’s putting a fat chick on the cover…because the reality is, a magazine doesn’t even need a cover, it’s all online anyway, so they could put anyone on the cover..

I am juste surprised that since this is clearly their strategy, why they didn’t put Bruce Jenner, an athlete on the cover, instead of a pig like Ashley Graham, who’s idea of fitness is eating as many donuts as she fucking can…

Yes they put Ronda UFC on the cover too, good an Athlete, makes sense…even if she’s got a dick…but a fat chick…who is everything but Sports Illustrated ever was…unless their readership is all black dudes, but I think they prefer their fat white chicks to be blonde…

I guess we should celebrate them for not being obvious in their THIRST by putting a Hadid or a Kardashian on the cover, unless of course it was Bruce, since that’d be jokes…WHY ISN’T BRUCE JENNER THE SI COVER GIRL?!

We should also encourage the people at the company to consider hiring a new editor, let this editor work at Cosmo. Keeping things status quo when competing with Instagram photos that are better than these photos, because instagram has proven how simple this “art” is…

I guess no one really knows what to do with themselves or how to handle themselves in this happy world filled with angry social justice warriors…but I am pretty confident that this isn’t the best approach and that they are just digging and digging that SI Grave they’ve started to dug…Just FIRE the fucking bitch running it and hire someone with some vision… Enough with the fat chicks to be progressive for the feminist protesters….when you should want the fucking protesters…

Oh, I get what they are doing, they want to shut up the haters and feature the whores in peace….SO enough of the rant, because the good news is that they still had some hot bikini pics…there is something pure and amazing in bikini pics of bikini models…like old times…classic…even if semi irrelevant they are still worth looking at…

They put the fat chick on the cover so that they could get away with all this AMAZING on the inside….Seriously…some of these pics are good…and distract from the 3-5 pics of the fatty, and produced 1000s of the babes, models and sugar babies…

It’s the “I have a black friend” excuse for a racist….CLEVER JOB SI….I guess you’re not dead yet..but speaking of BLACK friends…you forgot to feature enough dark skinned girls…SI SO WHITE AND FAKE SPRAY TANNED ….#SIsoWHITE haters will find things to hate….but they feature fat girls on the cover because no one gives a fuck about a cover to produce softcore porn with esorts…WORKS FOR ME….

TO SEE THE WHOLE FEATURE VISIT SI SWIM

Gigi Hadid Because her Dad’s an Advertiser…and she looks amazing…

Kelly Rohrbach Straight from Leo’s Not So Straight Dick

Irina Shayk….is Everything

Hailey Clauson Who Sues Photographers for Posing Slutty.

Bo Krsmanovic is Everything: She is the Future

Nina Agdal – This is Her Only Job

Hannah Davis….for Derek Jeter..

TO SEE THE WHOLE FEATURE VISIT SI SWIM

Barbara Palvin:

Emily DiDonato

Caroline Wozniacki:

TO SEE THE WHOLE FEATURE VISIT SI SWIM

Ronda Rousey Tucked the Dick In

Here’s her behind the scenes – from some pretty offensive angles…

Lindsey Vonn To Piss off TIGER…

Chanel Iman

Hannah Ferguson

Samantha Hoopes

TO SEE THE WHOLE FEATURE VISIT SI SWIM

Kate Bock

Tanya Mityushina – Never Heard of Her…but amazing…

Erin Heatherton

Rose Bertram – My God…’

Lily Aldridge Straght from VS

Sofia Resing

TO SEE THE WHOLE FEATURE VISIT SI SWIM
TO JOIN THE DISCUSSION – CHECK THE STEPFORUM

Posted in:SFW|SISwim

2016

12

Feb

America’s Royal Family of the Day

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What kind of circus did these people get released from. If this isn’t the most amazing yet disturbing picture of the Kardashians, including Stroke Face Odom who couldn’t even escape their evil spell, I am sure they’ll be releasing one that is…

Shot by the talented @iamjamiemccartney ….in what is the first a picture saying 1000 words….

These women, including Bruce, are monsters, actual fucking monsters…and the family look like they were cast for some Harmony Korine or Todd Solondz or Troma type movie, you know those filmmakers who did “weird” for the sake of weird and went over the top with weird…

It’s like they are a contrived made for TV bootleg even cable access caliber rich family of freakshows…because they are….yet they are also the most powerful, rich, high paid spokesmodel…because people to care…

So just when I am thinking that if you’re into necrophilia – the best way for your lover to have died is probably freezing to death…..this magic comes along and I’m forced to think if you’re into necrophilia grab a Kardashian, they are dead…shells…of humans…and here is their family portrait…so fucking weird….even terrifying…

Posted in:Kardashians|SFW

2016

12

Feb

Bella Thorne’s Sweaty of the Day

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This bitch just doesn’t fucking stop. Everyday is a goddamn fitness picture of her in sports bra and leggings showing off some bullshit, whether it is a toned stomach or a big ass….and today…she’s manipulating her fan base of perverts with her sweat…

I’m pretty sure I was wringing out my hair …because I WAS THAT SWEATY

This is just further proof she’s a 40 year old with the right botox trolling America, finally breaking into the industry, after a lifetime of trying, only to get some fake birth certificate and a meeting at Disney or whatever kids’s show production company she works for, where she used her skills as a 40 year old dick sucker to suck their dick…making them think “damn this 15 year old sucks dick like a grown up” before cumming down her throat…it’s how the industry works you know..

No 18 year old needs to work out this much and if she is, it’s because she needs to to maintain the body 40 year old women need to work everyday at to have…

Either way, it’s every fucking day with this one…

UPDATE – SHe posted hard nipple pics….in some more self indulgent nonsense…

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

12

Feb

Brad Cooper’s Suki Waterhouse in Lingerie for Valentine’s Day of the Day

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Anything with Serge Gainsbourg as the soundtrack is some pretentious hipster shit, so hipster that it is almost ironic when a motherfucker uses it because he’s gotta know how played out it is, but maybe it’s just one of those “classics” that sets the mood just right….because Gainsbourg is a french lounge singer that defines a generation of Paris int he 60s or some shit..all romantic or some shit…I don’t know, I like his music, I am dancing around right fucking now to it, but seeing it in a video, makes me think the asshole who made the video lacks vision…

That said, this is Suki Waterhouse, the young face and body, rich kid from the UK model, who is likely not a model, but just a rich kid, who had the honor of being fucked by womanizing Brad Cooper, while he was probably fucking other girls, because how can you take a 20 year old bitch like this too seriously, when you’re Brad Cooper and other people, like Irina Shayk want to fuck you..

Either way, hot little body in video that screams VD Day…in more ways that one…thanks Brad Cooper for that…

Posted in:SFW|Suki Waterhouse

2016

12

Feb

Gigi and Bella Hadid for Love Magazine of the Day

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Gigi Hadid and Bella Hadid remind me of one of the worst jobs I’ve ever had, It was working for a high end party planning company as the slave who carried equipment into really rich people’s house for their kid’s overpriced birthday parties. It was in a time before the internet really, and I had no real concept that people were so lavish and obnoxious with their money. I didn’t realize kids were so fucking spoiled and that kids were given pretty much everything. It was before “My Super Sweet 16” a reality MTV show that I’m sure GIGI HADID could have participated on….and I’d see girls get BMWs while I didn’t even have a car…before they even had a license…it blew me away..

One of the more hilarious parts of the job was when we were doing pre production on the videos they would show at the events and I’d help set up lights and shit..while these little cunts, all of whom are probably moms with their own cunts now, doing singing, or dancing routines, or modeling shit…that would be edited together as a tribute “look at me” because the event itself wasn’t enough for them

It was these little egos with the confidence you couldn’t help but hate, not shy to talk to you or ask you to do bullshit for them because they were raised amongst hired help…and I guess in this case…thanks to being in Hollywood, not small town Canada, they’ve leveraged that into a career….a fake modeling career that is now a legit modeling career.

I know this has happened forever, but it still blows me the fuck away. Who cares about these girls, they aren’t even that cute…I just don’t get it…but here they are for Love Magazine…since it is Valentine’s Day…

Posted in:Bella Hadid|Gigi Hadid|SFW

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