SFW Archives - Page 983 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

13

Jan

Eiza Gonzalez for Marie Claire of the Day

Eiza Gonzalez is some Mexican bitch who doesn’t look like any Mexican bitch I’ve ever seen…but I guess in my defence, I just assume all Mexican bitches look like the neckless chamber maids at hotels across Americas…at least when not working at the local Mexican restaurant making corn tortillas…

Apparently Eiza Gonzalez was famous in Mexico as a singer and actress, and in efforts to be like Sofia Vergara, decided that America in all their PC glory, would need a Mexican to relate to their ever growing Mexican Audience…you know because they can’t just keep producing content for white people, it isn’t inclusive or what America about…despite what Trump is telling you…

Maybe she’s on some Selma Hayek hustle, trying to get the jobs Hayek is too old for..because America is Multi Cultural, I am sure 40% of people are of hispanic origin, at least that’s why it seems whenever you go to a J.Lo concert….not that I’d ever do that…

Well she’s in fitness gear and looks fucking good…

Posted in:Eiza González|SFW

2016

13

Jan

Dakota Fanning’s Creepy Shoe Company of the Day

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Dakota Fanning has always been creepy…

Like some robot child, who is now 21, but when she was 7 or 8 and getting nominated for Oscars, would do media and have adult conversation, and adult disposition, up on some Doogie Howser shit, only instead of being a fake doctor closet case, she was thrown into entertaiment…in a “whore our child, she’s so quirky and advanced”….

Well, she’s still getting work, her parents are still rich off her, and they have that approval on their ego that their offspring have commercial viability, who can star in this terrible fucking campaign….but she’s wearing gladiator sandals and showing a lot of leg….so Dakota Fanning fans can appreciate it, but unfortunately, I know her real fans go for something a bit younger than 21…if you know what I mean…disgusting.

Posted in:Dakota Fanning|SFW

2016

13

Jan

Lily Aldridge for Vogue Spain of the Day

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Lily Aldridge is a Victoria’s Secret, LA Rich girl, who like Gigi Hadid, was very into the scene, did some commercial modeling, and in her case married a guy in a rock band, taking that commercial modeling, to the top of commercial modeling, where she’s spent the last 8-10 years of her life…working for the biggest brand as one of their angels…pretty crazy right…not really, I mean Victoria’s Secret has been pulling “it girls” even before there was social media to work for them, it’s just all part of their marketing, because as you know, there are hundreds of thousands of girls hotter than Lily Aldridge in the world…and in her own home…her sister Ruby…is everything..

Not that that matters, what matters is that working for a sweatshop driven, repackaging made in china shit, and basically painting it gold and adding sparkles to it, figuratively, by using well designed stores and models…has become the stamp of approval in pop culture…and this bitch has it…even Vogue Spain is into her…

Posted in:Lily Aldridge|SFW

2016

13

Jan

Zoey Deutch’s Tits in Some Magazine of the Day

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Zoey Deutch is Lea Thompson, who was on the show Caroline in the City…which was like Sex and the City, but with a cartoonist…and an annoying fucking sitcom in an era where they forced us to watch these sitcoms because cable was the only way we could watch TV…I guess more interestingly to you fucking nerds she was the love interest on Howard the Duck….and I don’t remember whether she fucked Howard the Duck or not, but we can assume she did and that’s weird…

But this isn’t about her, this is about her daughter, the tits she made by getting cummed inside, who is on a show called Ringer, and was on a show called Suite Life, which is some Disney shit, and unlike other stage parents with Disney kids, this one probably didn’t have to fuck her way to the top with the execs who fuck children, but she’s probably just as fucked up, thanks to being in on that LA rich kid bullshit, that has existed forever, Melanie Griffith, and is doing exactly the same thing as every other rich kid in LA is doing ,getting slutty on the internet and in life trying to be famous…because they can…and it’s easy…and people praise them…while their Hollywood parents continue to be the shittiest fucking people…

She’s 22, and has tits.

Posted in:SFW|Zoey Deutch

2016

12

Jan

Tara Reid in a Bikini of the Day

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Tara Reid is alive..and a skeleton…but at least she invested in her tits, so that no matter how close to MUMMY or death she gets, she’ll always have massive bulbous breasts to play with….all while giving her a great advantage in casting for low budget Horror Movie characters, where she can play the scary evil grandma…or the anorexic 50 year old and not require much make-up….because really that’s all she’s qualified for…

BUT I am old and remember when she was the hottest thing ever, and I remember those days and these bikini pics make me wonder where it all went wrong…does spending a decade hard partying really destroy you this much..and have to ask…how the FUCK would anyone let her post these, oh right, she doesn’t have a team anymore…because she’s poor…maybe that’s why she’s not eating…spending all her money on meth not cake…

I’d still get up in that though…even if it smells like it looks… death…

Posted in:SFW|Tara Reid

2016

12

Jan

Shay Mitchell Lingerie of the Day

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Shay Mitchell is from Canada…Shay Mitchell is also from TV…Shay Mitchell is Shay Mitchell…she’s trying to rebrand so she’s not typecast…she’s in lingerie…Fascinating…

These pictures of her in her lingerie are from 2015, probably for her massive social media, as these girls need lingerie pics for their own personal collection, in what I think is the weirdest movement in pop culture, that I don’t hate because I like half naked girls, but I don’t know or like that they are so self involved that they feel the need to stage photoshoots…SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING LAME…

But She’s Canadian….and being a thirsty try hard trying to get ahead giving the fans what they want in the form of slutty behavior is party of her hustle…to break free from the show that made her…to give her a career in the future just holding teas and protein powder for instagram….

WEIRD.

Posted in:SFW|Shay Mitchell

2016

12

Jan

Bella Thorne Fitness Porn of the Day

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Bella Thorne understands the system, but the looks of it, she’s been working towards this relevance for the last 40 years. She doesn’t look freshly 18 and I would like to see her actual birth certificate, not the one her family doctored 10 years ago when they put her into Disney or Nickelodeon auditons..that worked out in the end, who knows why…but this is her time to shine, her time to produce fitness porn for her fans…her time to maximize the fact that perverts are into jerking off to her because she’s 18….and they love that shit…even though her body tells a different story of genetic modification and hormones in the food..

Here’s her famewhore, groupie, coat tail riding sister we can call Ali Lohan, Jamie Lynn Spears, Jessica Simpson’s Sister, I don’t even remember her name, ThE HAYLIE DUFF…sisters of famous it girls have felt inadequate, thisty, and pushed the limits further than the sister, trying to maximize their exposure and feel like like failures…it’s like “why am I not as good as my sister, but at least my sister is doing it, so I can go along for the ride, even though my family and everyone around us doesn’t give a fuck about me”….I’m just bitter she blocked me on instagram…

It’s safe to say that I wish the geotag info was posted in this pic, so that I could show up and say hello..

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

12

Jan

Irina Shayk is Pretty Much Everything of the Day

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Irina Shayk is perfection….Sure, I don’t really like the fact that she’s a soulless Russian, because soulless Russians break fucking hearts on their soulless quest to find richer guys than you, after you’ve imported them from Russia and they only care about their own security and future, I guess thanks to a generation or two of total political unrest..it’s like “look out for yourself, or you’ll become a sex worker on cams, instead of Brad Cooper, yes that brad Cooper, the A-Lister Brad Cooper’s, vagina he fucks”…and in exchange she has the opportunity to have his baby and guarantee child support from him, but she’s calculated, brilliant and working it for more than just babies…she’s probably even playing hard to get and making him work…which i guess is a far cry from when Russians were smuggling Levis and Michael Jackson albums into the country that was also their prison…

It’s safe to say that I wish the geotag info was posted in this pic, so that I could show up and offer to wash her bathing suit for her…with my mouth…

Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2016

12

Jan

Kaley Cuoco’s Sports Bra on Instagram of the Day

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Kaley Cuoco gets paid 100,000,000 dollars over the next 2 years of her stupid fucking show that everyone on airplanes seem to fucking watch….because I guess that mindless sitcom format, FRIENDS or SEINFELD, still speak to the human condition, while I look on amazed as these robotic sheep laugh along with the canned laughter to bad jokes…because it’s easy..

She’s the Hot girl in the show, but not the hottest girl in the world, or even the hottest girl in the world, or even the hottest girl in the room or at the pary, but when she is in a sports bra, or carrying her bank statements around with her, you forget that she is overrated, and crazy and can focus on her fake tits. Which is what matters.

It’s safe to say that I wish the geotag info was posted in this pic, so that I could show up and offer to walk her home and read her a bed time story as I stretch out her 100 million dollar pussy with my fingers…

Posted in:Kaley Cuoco|SFW

2016

12

Jan

Hilary Duff’s Strong Legs for Cosmo of the Day

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Hilary Duff is a fun divorcee. It’s like she doesn’t even miss her baby daddy, the billionaire heir turned Hockey star from Canada, I guess she was tired of being a puck slut, used in the lockerroom to build morale in some team initiation and team building exercising – all while using her child star, broken, holes…

Well, she’s on a TV show, she’s showing her leg at some office, and she’s thick and fit, which I’m sure the blacks like…and so do you…because you’re one of those weirdo fans who doesn’t know how to move on from 1996…the good years…

It’s safe to say that I wish the geotag info was posted in this pic, so that I could show up and offer my services as a drunkenstepfather….not that I like kids, but rich and famous girls with thick thighs who you know know how to fuck when they aren’t being bratty spoiled cunts thanks to having little to no growing up to do, but rather a staff coddling them….which is something I can handle…as long as I’m medicated and coddled too…

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

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