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Archive for the Tits Category

2009

02

Feb

Some 8-Limbed Baby Sucking Tit of the Day

1 Comment »


For some reason India’s got some fucked up gene that I don’t really understand because I am not a doctor or scientist, but it makes some of their babies come out of the womb with 8 limbs. I figure it’s got to do with overpopulation, pollution and inbreeding. I know that in other cultures when a baby is born with 8 limbs, they either amputate the shit fast, before the neighbors find out, or leave the mutant in the dumpster, because it’s fucking scary but for these Indians it is some kind of honor.

I saw these pictures of the 8 limbed thing sucking on some tit and unfortunately my love for tits overrode how creepy this shit is and figured I had to share it with you, because sucking tit is nature’s way of teaching us at a young age how important tits are. Breast feeding is first event that leads to us determining a woman’s worth by the size of her tits, which pretty much fuels the plastic surgery industry and self esteem issues that have got me laid so many times before.

Either way, check out this weirdness.

Posted in:8-Limb Baby|Breast Feeding|Freak|Tits

2009

29

Jan

Mary Cary And Her Tits of the Day

5 Comments »

I shouldn’t bother giving this bitch more attention than her daddy issues have made her crave enough to go into porn, to run for governor and to get fake tits to make it all possible because with a face like that, it was really the only option, not that guys really care about what porn chicks look like, they pretty much fall for how dirty the bitch gets and the fact that she’s naked and willing, looks are pretty much a secondary issue, so instead of writing about her, I’ll just post this NSFW link of Mary Cary At Various Work Related Events… , if you know what I mean.

Posted in:Mary Cary|Tits

2009

13

Jan

Amy Winehouse Hangs with Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

Amy Winehouse is living the fucking life. By the looks of these pictures of her hanging out with some hot chick’s tits, she’s still out in the Caribbean de-toxing after spending the last 2 years being fuckin’ wrecked and partying all the fucking time. It’s the kind of lifestyle I’d want to record a hit album to get, but unfortunately the only thing me and Winehouse have in common is our rotting mouths, poor health and addiction and not her angelic voice.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bikini|Tits

2009

06

Jan

Meagan Good’s Covering Her Nipples of the Day

2 Comments »

Meagan Good’s ripping off Rihanna in some borderline dominatrix shit, a look that makes me want to get on all fours, pull my pants down and wait anxiously for red hot metal object insertion. By the looks of it, she’s showing off her Kimbo Slice arms and using them as a make-shift bra to support her big tits, but I think she’s just a prude who is a lot more clever than the average celebrity and realizes that black shirts, no bras and a flash bulb invite the world into her big African titties and she’s making sure that doesn’t happen.

To be a famous black girl, you’d have to be pulling some miracle to get to this level of fame, so I don’t know why she’s trying to hide the fabric that is her, I guess the next step is skin bleaching treatments and a membership at her local tennis club because she’s a self hater who doesn’t embrace her roots and that break my heart.

Posted in:Ass|Meagan Good|Spandex|Tits

2009

05

Jan

Shauna Sand is Emotional of the Day

3 Comments »

Shauna Sand brought her big tits and plastic face out to some event and the paparazzi asked her how she felt about John Travolta’s son and she said she cried all day. I call lie on that shit because I know for a fact that her tear ducts were removed during an eye lift and she’s so jacked up on botox the only thing she’s still able to do is suck dick and that’s only because she made sure to work around her self-induced disability to do the only thing she ever really knew how to do. Either way, it’s always fun to see her in action because the idea that people care enough about her to even bother talking to her is pretty much the biggest joke about all this.

Posted in:Shauna Sand|Tits

2009

01

Jan

Best Tits of 2008 of the Day

5 Comments »

My friend is obsessed with tits. All her talks about is tits, tits and more fucking tits. I can’t walk down the street with him because every girl we walk by, he turns to me and asks if I like her tits, or what I think her tits would look like naked, and if I thought her tits were saggy and if he sees tits he really likes he just stops in his tracks and kinda grunts an “those tits were amazing”, and the shit never fucking ends, so I asked him to do a list of his favorite tits this year and this is what he comes up with. Pawning my work onto other people is my New Year’s Resolution. Seriously….

Scarlett Johansson Really Ain’t Much to Look At Without Those Tits

The Only Thing More Irrelevant Than Shauna Sand’s Tits is Shauna Sand

Katie Price’s Fake Tits Could Sell Bread to a Baker or Raw Fish and a Can of Gas to Huff to an Eskimo

Some X-Tina Pregnancy Tit Insanity…

Cindy Margolis Needs to Use Her Chest to Get Her Career Back on Track

Jodie Marsh’s Balloon Tits Are Fine By Me

A Braless, Lesbian Lohan is the the Only Lohan I Don’t Hate…

Co-Co’s Tits Are Just a Fucking Joke…

Paris Hilton Fakes Her Tits Like She Fakes Not Having a Herpes

Finally Something More than Just Rhianna’s Music Speaks to Me…Yes…I Sit Alone Crying as I Listen to “Living My Life”…

Posted in:2008|Tits

2008

23

Dec

Audrina’s New Boyfriend Looks Like Your Only Girlfirend….of the Day

2 Comments »

So the Hills had some Season Finale party that I am sure a lot of people are hoping is the series finale party, because we’ve finally caught onto their scam that their reality isn’t really reality at all and Audrina showed up, trying to be the fucking comedian of the night, by bring this “man pillow” I’ve seen advertised on the internet from Japan to make lonely girls feel like they are being cuddled at night, as her date. I can only assume this ties into the show somehow, like Audrina’s been looped into some relationship scandal and since she’s not clever to come up with something like this on her own, the good people at MTV wrote it into the “going to the season finale party” script and none of it really matters because it doesn’t make me laugh.

If anything it depresses me and makes me think of all those guys out there who can’t get pussy and are saving up for a Real Doll but can only afford the torso, turning them into weirdo’s who can’t get off to actual girls with heads and limbs and takes them down a very dark path because the 1500 dollar torso is way more affordable than the 6000 dollar full body doll.

So Audrina’s shitty comedy is another man’s shitty reality, but the good news is that it’s only natural for her to date a lifeless inanimate thing, even if he’s just 25% of a body, because she’s a fucking lifeless robot and I hear their conversation isn’t all that different than what you’ve seen of her on the show and here are her pics.

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|cleavage|sex doll|Tits

2008

19

Dec

Some Katy Perry Cleavage of the Day

5 Comments »

Katy Perry claims she has DD tits and I’ve had DD tits in my mouth a few times and I think it’s safe to say that these aren’t DDs, not that a girl’s tit size really matters, because every DD I’ve had have been offensively big and pretty much hung like you’d expect them to and had an ass to match, so instead of getting excited enough to play with them, I kinda just went through the motions and would fake orgasms to end the aubse to myself. Now, maybe Katy Perry’s was a fat chick with DDs, because she looks like she’s got that kind of potential, but the touring, partying and pressure of the media’s keeping her in check, but when the 5 minutes are over, I figure she’ll slow down and go back to the couch to eat bag after bag of chips where she belongs because she’s not hot and her songs are irritating…..

Posted in:Katy Perry|Tits

2008

19

Dec

Brooke Hogan’s Tits Go Christmas Shopping of the Day

2 Comments »

I wonder what Brooke Hogan put on her Christmas list. She already got the tits she has dreamt about since she was a little girl to balance out her very large frame, she’s already got all the assless pants they sell at her local sex store. She’s already broken up her mom and dad’s marriage so she can have him all for himself. She’s got her brother out of prison and her stepfather in training finally hit puberty making it less embarrassing than it was 6 months ago. Her dad already pulled all the strings his wrestling carer gave him to get her a record deal and a couple photoshoots in Maxim and she’s got all the fake blonde hair she needs, so I guess the only thing you can get fo this North Florida redneck royalty is a good old fashioned gang rape, like the one her momma was part of the day she was conceived…sure they always pretend they hate it at first, but after years of therapy and hard drinking, they’ll be able to accept it for the right of passage it is. Again, I have no idea what I am talking about but I do know the rollerblading Poofter behind her pissed himself and that’s more interesting than Brooke Hogan.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Tits

2008

17

Dec

Rihanna’s Got Some Big New Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

Looks like Christmas came early for Rihanna, or at least for Chris Brown, because it looks like she’s jacked her tits up a little to balance shit out with the rest of her body (ass). Sure she could be wearing straps, cups, external titty inserts and all that shit to give this illusion that I’ve seen one too many times in my life and unlike most guys, never got bothered by it. I figure since I have very little going on in my pants, life and wallet, they’re allowed to have little going on in their bra, just as long as there is a vagina for me to finger bang, and it doesn’t even have to be their vagina, it could be a friends or even my wife’s while thinking about them and I’m good.

The only time I got mad about this smoke and mirror shit is the light I spent chasing this motherfucker around all night because her tits looked good and she looked easy, only to realize 10 minutes into making out with her that the titties were nothing more than a stuffed bra, but the cock dicking in my leg was 100 percent real. I was already in too deep, the damage had been done, so I figured, might as well roll with this and see where this takes me, and let me tell you this much, it took me to a very dark place…

Not quite as dark as I imagine Rihanna’s nipples, but dark nevertheless, now stop reading (wishful thinking) and start staring, because when shit’s in picture, there’s no way for them to catch you creepin’ and police won’t be knockin at your door as a prime suspect in their death because they found DNA samples at the crime scene that match your DNA only to find out that “she was asking for it because she was wearing leather pants, a corest and was busting out of her shirt like a whore” doesn’t hold up in court….so in a lot of ways, these pictures save lives. Enjoy.

Posted in:cleavage|Rihanna|Tits