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Archive for the Tits Category

2008

23

Jul

Jennifer Hudson’s Got Some Big Fuckin’ Tits for Regis of the Day

5 Comments »

Now I am not the kind of guy who gives a girl love just because she has big tits, because it usually means she has a big ass to match and I just don’t have a need for big tits in my life. They are fun to play with, but sometimes offend me with the size and angle the nipples aim, like unlike other dudes, I prefer tits on girls small to medium. I feel like a total virgin writing about the kind of tits I want but that I’m not getting, but I had to post this video because as Hudson brings her fatty tits onto the set of Regis and Kelly, Regis say “Oh My God” as he stares at whatever the fuck’s going on in this hefty bitch’s tent of a dress. It’s just nice to see him struggle with not lookin’ at what’s going on in front of him and I guess guys just never get over insane cleavage, no matter how old we get. So enjoy you fucking pervert.

Posted in:Jennifer Hudson|Tits

2008

23

Jul

Gabrielle Reece Rock’s a Bikini Top and Show’s Some Tit’s of the Day

8 Comments »

So I just happened to come across this comment on a previous post by some loser named Doug. This is what Doug wrote:

When you say “Traci Bingham and her Melon’s of the Day� what you are really saying is “Traci Bingham and her Melon is of the Day�
Go back to grade school you moron.

Doug. No, I’m not trying to say that her melon is of the day, but I am trying to be like hip hop and create my own kind of speaking that kids everywhere will rip off. I have no problem reinventing the language and making it work for me one post at a time. I don’t really have the patience to care about proper and constrictive and boring use of the english language, they shit is for the suburban people who do what they are told and don’t know how to live unless it’s in a guideline rulebook.

The fact that you would spell check posts on my site, let alone any fucking site leads me to believe that you just can’t let loose and appreciate the big picture, who really cares if I slip up on a you’re and your, their and there, melon’s or melons, you should learn how to read past typos and get the overall concept behind the post instead of going to the trouble to email me or comment about me, calling me a moron about the shit like you’re my fucking English teacher who I tried to poison in High School for pulling the same stunt. I am not educated, I am an immigrant, I have lived on the street, but throwing in an apostrophe wasn’t really representative of that, because even an uneducated person knows the fuckin’ difference, and it’s really got nothing to do with being a moron and more to do with not editing posts no one reads, except for maybe the occasional hater like you.

Either way, it doesn’t really matter, I just get annoyed when people bother me with instructions and point out typos, not because it makes me feel inadequate, but it reminds me that this site reaches the people I don’t really want it to.

Here are some pictures of Gabrielle Reece showing off her Beach Volleyball tits like shit was the early 90s. I never liked her, I always thought she looked too much like a dude and have had some weird nightmares of her and Brooke Shield’s slapping dicks, but dick or not, she does have tits in a bikini top and is staying true to her hangin’ on the beach past with her big wave surfing husband, legendary Laird Hamilton, and I guess I gotta stay true to my shit and post it.

Posted in:Bikini|Gabrielle Reece|Tits|TitsGabrielle Reece|Top

2008

22

Jul

Jodie Marsh Has Retarded Tits of the Day

7 Comments »

Jodie Marsh is a glamour model from the UK who tries too hard because she was teased growing up, to the point of comtemplating suicide. She went onto marry some radio DJ in some kind of poorly planned publicity stunt and he ended up dumping her due to poor hygiene, whatever the fuck that means, I assume it means her pussy smells rank, but what the fuck do you expect when you marry an attention craving slut with retarded fake tits who is out everynight getting wasted and who has fucked countless people and above all is a piece of trash. The truth is that I don’t know if the guy really knows what bad hygiene at least not in a way that I do and that week old kitchen garbage smell he’s smellin on Jodie Marsh probably has nothing on the shit I’ve seen growing on my wife. The truth is that dude needs to stop being such a whiner beause if you marry a garbage of a woman who looks like a street whore, you have no right judging her because she smells like one.

Here she is partying in her American Apparel gold pants and a shirt made for big titty sluts who feel like showing off.

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To See Other Pics of Jodie Marsh’s Tits Slutting Out at Another Event
GO

Posted in:Jodie Marsh|Tits

2008

17

Jul

Rumer Willis Shows Off Her Tits of the Day

13 Comments »

I don’t know what went wrong in Demi Moore’s womb, like maybe she’s got really bad genes or maybe her and Bruce Willis didn’t know they were pregnant for a few months of this bitch’s development and were railing experimental drugs that only celebrities get, or maybe she actually got raped and impregnated by an Alien abduction becuase there’s no evidence saying that’s totally impossible, and if you ask me this is kinda proof that it could happen and that the government slipped up in trying to slide this shit under the carpet so the general public doesn’t freak out, but I do know that she’s fucking ugly.

I don’t know how someone could go through life looking like this, it’s one of those situations where you’d never want to leave the house if this was you, but since she’s a rich kid and probably spoiled to shit, she just doesn’t realize that she’s fucking offensive to look at.

She probably thinks she’s some kind of gift to the world and on the same level as all the other celebrity kids, and looks down at all the commoner and pretty much spits in our face by wearing lowcut dresses like she’s got the right to leave her house and show off her barely there tits, but since I’ve decided to look at the brighter side of life, and not the demons that are her face, I guess she did us a favor by given us something less abusive to look at when she makes an appearance, maybe next time she’ll really pull through and throw a mask on while men jerk off on her naked bodies, because girls this ugly are really on acceptable in fetish porn, cuz hot chicks are too uptight to get experimental. Bitches.

Posted in:Rumer Willis|Tits

2008

17

Jul

Katie Price’s Titty Scar of the Day

4 Comments »

Here is Vagina About Town, Jordan/ Katie Price, showing off her titty scars. I’d rip into her for hiring a shitty plastic surgeon, but I heard when you mangle your tits beyond recognition by getting tons of operations to make them so unnaturally big, even a cartoonist at Disney can’t get ‘er done without leaving some eraser marks and you know what kind of perverts those Disney people are.

I guess all this is to say that I heard she was downsizing her tits, but shit still looks fucking big and disgusting, maybe I am just saying that because I hate fake tits, or maybe it’s because I am distracted by that aged monster of a face that keeps giving me sex eyes, like my friend’s horny mom used to do to me when I was 13 and I don’t quite no how to deal with it.

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Tits

2008

16

Jul

Helen Mirren’s Got Some Big Grandma Tits in a Bikini of the Day

13 Comments »

I just made a new friend on the stoop of my apartment. He was this 20 year old dude who was just sitting there talking to himself. His conversation seemed pretty fucking intense as he was laughing loudly, and screaming, then whispering and crying, shit was like an emotional roller coaster and when I looked to see if he had his CIA blue tooth ear piece that junior executives everywhere are rockin in hopes of making their boring lives seemingly more interesting. I decided that dude was obviously talking to himself, so I figured I’d be a nice guy and strike up some conversation so he didn’t feel so alone. It was a mistake.

He went off on how he was involved in some kind of rape last night and that the woman was his friend’s girlfriend’s grandmother because he loved her fucking cookies so much. He figured if she knew how to bake so well, her pussy was probably prime and when she was passed out on her cancer meds in her room, he slipped in to slip it in her. He then started laughing hysterically and that’s when I decided to peace, because crazy people who talk about raping grandmother’s freak me out.

The truth is the only thing better than an old pussy, that can’t get pregnant because it dried up long ago, is young hot pussy on the pill, but I guess it’s a beggars can’t be choosers situation.

Here is Oscar winning Helen Mirren in her bikini, showing of the tits that made her famous and the good news is that she’s only 63 and not 80, like the big breasted senior citizen I once loved when working at the old folks home.

Posted in:Bikini|Helen Mirren|Tits

2008

15

Jul

Lisa Rinna’s Got Some Hot Fake Everything of the Day

10 Comments »

Lisa Rinna likes plastic surgery more than most people and she still looks like a fucking monster to me, but seeing her tits busting out of her low cut top is enough to make me stare. Not necessarily the same kind of staring I do on the daily when girls in their summer dresses walk by me, or the kind of staring I got caught doing at some college after party I managed to crash a few months ago, that lead me to hiding in the bathroom closet watching girls roll through to pee, use coke, get busy with radoms and whatever else went on before I passed out and was found by some frat boy who tried playing the hero by getting rough with me before I sold him on the idea of putting a video camera where I was hiding because it would be good content, but more the kind of staring that happens everytime I see a retarded person limping around confused at the busy grocery story trying to use 4 year old coupons while buying their 3 bottles of coke with one hand down their shit stained inside-out pants, which has happened more than once.

Lisa Rinna is not necessarily a good thing, but is kinda entertaining when no one’s around to judge you or your freaky fetishes, like the week I spent practicing infantilism in the privacy of my own home. I was just trying to relive a childhood I never had, but quickly changed my tune when I realized there was no one there to change my diaper and I was starting to get a rash, making the whole thing pretty humilating.

Posted in:Lisa Rinna|Nipples|Plastic Surgery|Tits

2008

15

Jul

Brooke Hogan Bikini Pictures of the Day

14 Comments »

I realize why Hulk Hogan wants to fuck his daughter and that’s just because no one else will. He’s just being a caring dad who can’t accept that he produced something so fucking ugly but still wants the best for his baby and doesn’t want her self-esteem to dwindle into suicidal rage, so he gives her the normal male attention a girl needs.

He realizes that no dudes ever call his girl back after they have their way with her while drunk and the family try to rationalize it by blaming it on the fear of getting confronted by her overbearing, wrestling dad and they aren’t man enough to take him own in the backyard wrestling ring for her hand in marriage or some weird ritualistic shit that goes down in the trailer parks of Tampa Bay. But that’s just what they want to believe. The truth is the first dude who comes along and sticks with this bitch after sticking it to her will get to go on a shopping spree with the Hulkster and get all the crazy pants his heart desires, making her dowry something equally as trashy as her, but the sad truth is that I’ve fucked ugly chicks for less return.

She’s big, has a broken down chevy of a face, the kind you find in the backyard acting a place for illegitimate kids to play and a pick up truck body to match. She has no real talent or future, just an inheritance, which is good enough for me, but doesn’t take away from the fact that she has no ass at all, her legs kinda just mutate into her very broad back. Even after taking the same path of many inadequate girls that only a daddy would love and getting a pair of fake tits to compensate, she’s even gone so far as to get in shape and lose the fat she was hiding behind all her life only to find out that she is still a waste of time for annyone with any dignity. For the record, I have no dignity.

I am not sure if she’s the header picture of the girl in the white bikini, because I am not even sure if that’s a girl or just Hulk Hogan incognito, but I had to post it mainly out of fear but also to help you come to terms with your homosexuality in babysteps.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini Pictures|Brooke Hogan|Tits

2008

14

Jul

Sienna Miller Hangs Out Naked With Married Dudes of the Day

10 Comments »

I like Sienna Miller and I don’t entirely know why. She looks ratty and her tits look kinda shitty, but the truth is that she’s not fat and she looks like someone who likes to get down. We’ve seen her naked many times before so the scandal in these pics is not the fact that she’s naked, but that she’s naked with Balthazar Getty, a married dude with 4 kids.

I am not one who respects cheating, I think it’s pretty selfish and a pussy move because by a greedy person who wants all that comes his way, without caring about the other person involved and that is the main reason why I crossed my fingers when I took my wedding vows, because I didn’t really want to limit myself. So sure, in this marriage I have been unfaithful as far as my wife is concerned, but I can sleep easy at night knowing that I was never really committed to her to begin with, it’s just a paper agreement, not to mention my wife is disgusting and has got way worse over the years leaving me no real choice.

I can understand why a dude with 4 kids and a boring wife would stray for some nudist celebrity slut who likes to fuck and who probably pumped some life into his seemingly dead spirits but that doesn’t mean it’s the nice thing to do, so while Balthazar Getty is being an asshole to his family, he’s a key factor in bringing us these pics so his cheating ways have done a positive for the world on a bigger scale and if his wife can’t see that and holds that against him, then she’s just unreasonable and self serving and that’s no woman who deserves to keep her husband because his actions leading to a naked Sienna Miller should be celebrated and not punished and that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Naked|Sienna Miller|Tits

2008

10

Jul

Lauren Conrad Drunk as Tits of the Day

7 Comments »

I like drunk chicks, so seeing a drunk Lauren Conrad with her natural tits hanging out of her shirt makes me happy. I am tired of The Hills and the ugliness it produces and despite being average at best, Lauren Conrad is hotter than any of her costars. Heidi Montag is just horse-faced and ridiculous in her bible thumping bullshit lie of a life, and Audrina is a mutant who distracts you from her mutant face with a set of fake tits that I could have if I had 10,000 dollars to spend on tits, and last time I checked, if you can buy it, shit’s not representative of how hot you re.

I guess it doesn’t matter, mainly because The Hills don’t matter and soon enough the world will catch on and shit will be nothing more than something in the MTV archives no one really remembers enough to do a reunion special for and maybe I just like Lauren Conrad cuz she’s drunk and drunk girls have always been a crucail component in my getting laid….and here she is in low cut outfit busting out.

Posted in:Drunk|Lauren Conrad|Tits