Tits Archives - Page 52 of 79 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

29

Oct

I am – Elvira’s Still Alive and Slutty of the Day

Here are some pictures of Elvira because it’s Halloweeen and being Elvira means that you can only work for this one week a year which works out nicely for her because she’s gotta be in her 60s and this shit is some semi-retired living in Florida career. All she has to do is squeeze herself into some kind of tight motherfucking outfit, show off her big tits and show up,

Speaking of squeezing into tight clothes, I was walking down the street today, and as you all know, leggings are all the fucking rage for young girls thanks to American Apparel. Well it turns out that fat girls with fat asses think that since shit’s in style, they have a right to offend all of us with their tight pants and big asses all hanging out all over the motherfucking place. I don’t know where I am going with this, because I am too nice to call a girl out for being fat and offensive, but I Elivra reminded me of what I saw and felt the need to drop it like it’s hot, when really it’s not hot at all, it’s the shit that’s turning all these young dude’s gay.

Either way, I know a lot of girls who would love to get paid for that kind of thing, but instead are doing it for free, or for STDs and babies, so in a lot of ways Elvira is living the dream and it’s really too bad that she’s not asked to attend more Christmas, New Years, Easter, Labor Day and Independence Day events.

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2007

27

Oct

I am – Blocked in Germany While Lohan Leaves Dance Studios of the Day

9 Comments »

So it looks like the Germans are like Paypal and don’t like me very much.

it seems like the ISP AliceDSL (www.alice-dsl.de) blocked access to www.drunkenstepfather.com

Since a week a two, I am not able to access one of my favorite websites and it’s only your website. I can perfectly access it through anonymizers such as Tor or by using other ISPs but this certain ISP blocks access to Drunkenstepfather.com.

Maybe you want to investigate further or make it public somehow…

I thought German’s were into shitting on each other and beating each other up. I didn’t realize that they were still Nazis, only instead of hating the non-aryans and fags, they hate me. Here are some pictures of Lohan leaving some dance studio prepping for some tango movie, because she probably hates me too, even though I plan on knocking her off the wagon with my dick. It may be small, limp and useless but that just means it’ll take more effort.

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2007

26

Oct

I am – Carmen Electra's Big Old Tits of the Day

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Carmen Electra still has fake tits and I may hate fake tits, but she looks good enough for me, probably better than any girl you’d bump into on the street and awkwardly follow for 16 blocks in hopes that they strike up conversation with you so that you can take her home and cum in her face.

I was talking to a dude earlier this week who was having problems with the girl he was slamming. She was scared of sucking dick, but never told him that she wasn’t into it, she would just do everything in her power to avoid sucking it. I’ve never known any girl who hasn’t sucked dick, because there’s no way she’d get past the initial interview for the job if I did, but I have heard that it’s pretty fucking common and that sucks but not literally. The closest I’ve had to a girl who hates sucking dick is a girl who goes down on you for a minute then lets you fuck her and feels like she’s done her part because there was penis contact with her mouth. I guess busting nut is the goal of hanging out and the fact that she’s giving up her vagina is a good enough reason to keep her around, but the best way around it if you’re stuck with a girl who doesn’t want dick in her mouth is to force her to do it, and while you are forcing her explain that you’re just helping her be a better person, I am sure she’ll understand while she’s trying to push you off to get the fuck out of there to call the cops.

Either way, I am sure Carmen Electra sucks dick.

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2007

26

Oct

I am – Carmen Electra’s Big Old Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

Carmen Electra still has fake tits and I may hate fake tits, but she looks good enough for me, probably better than any girl you’d bump into on the street and awkwardly follow for 16 blocks in hopes that they strike up conversation with you so that you can take her home and cum in her face.

I was talking to a dude earlier this week who was having problems with the girl he was slamming. She was scared of sucking dick, but never told him that she wasn’t into it, she would just do everything in her power to avoid sucking it. I’ve never known any girl who hasn’t sucked dick, because there’s no way she’d get past the initial interview for the job if I did, but I have heard that it’s pretty fucking common and that sucks but not literally. The closest I’ve had to a girl who hates sucking dick is a girl who goes down on you for a minute then lets you fuck her and feels like she’s done her part because there was penis contact with her mouth. I guess busting nut is the goal of hanging out and the fact that she’s giving up her vagina is a good enough reason to keep her around, but the best way around it if you’re stuck with a girl who doesn’t want dick in her mouth is to force her to do it, and while you are forcing her explain that you’re just helping her be a better person, I am sure she’ll understand while she’s trying to push you off to get the fuck out of there to call the cops.

Either way, I am sure Carmen Electra sucks dick.

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2007

26

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian's Tits at an Event of the Day

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So I ran into this 19 year old girl I used to finger bang and hang out with in the park because she liked my sense of humor. She’d do dances for me in a leotard and touch her toes on command every time we hung out. I hadn’t seen her in a while but she was with some dude I could tell she was banging. When I asked if she was doing him, she denied it because I guess she didn’t want me knowing how much of a dirty little girl she is because she is convinced that one day I will leave my wife and we will get married even though my dick doesn’t work. Since I am pretty good at knowing what’s up and people are all pretty much all the same I could tell that she was lying about it and that they were actually having sex just by the way they were acting together. For some reason, girls like to think they can pull a fast one and get away with being “naughty” or keeping secrets but it’s always been so fucking obvious to me. I have always been able to tell when a girl cheats on me or when a girl’s been doing dirty things she doesn’t want me to know about. It’s like a sixth sense, without Bruce Willis or that Joel Osmond freak, so I decided to write her an IM saying “i know you’re banging that dude”, not that I care, I just like knowing the truth, like I am the X-Files and her vagina is the paranormal. Either way, she finally admitted it to me and wrote this:

hes like how i am with you, only theres sexual attraction

I just wanted to post it because it really boosted my non-existant self esteem. Speaking of self esteem here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian putting the fat ASS in KardASShian at some premiere, thinking she’s got it goin’ on, because too many people tell her how hot she is, when they should really be telling her she’s just a waste of fucking tits, only she doesn’t realize it yet. The truth may hurt but at least people know where they stand or in my case sit.

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Posted in:Dress|Fat|Kim Kardashian|Tits|Unsorted

2007

26

Oct

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Tits at an Event of the Day

8 Comments »

So I ran into this 19 year old girl I used to finger bang and hang out with in the park because she liked my sense of humor. She’d do dances for me in a leotard and touch her toes on command every time we hung out. I hadn’t seen her in a while but she was with some dude I could tell she was banging. When I asked if she was doing him, she denied it because I guess she didn’t want me knowing how much of a dirty little girl she is because she is convinced that one day I will leave my wife and we will get married even though my dick doesn’t work. Since I am pretty good at knowing what’s up and people are all pretty much all the same I could tell that she was lying about it and that they were actually having sex just by the way they were acting together. For some reason, girls like to think they can pull a fast one and get away with being “naughty” or keeping secrets but it’s always been so fucking obvious to me. I have always been able to tell when a girl cheats on me or when a girl’s been doing dirty things she doesn’t want me to know about. It’s like a sixth sense, without Bruce Willis or that Joel Osmond freak, so I decided to write her an IM saying “i know you’re banging that dude”, not that I care, I just like knowing the truth, like I am the X-Files and her vagina is the paranormal. Either way, she finally admitted it to me and wrote this:

hes like how i am with you, only theres sexual attraction

I just wanted to post it because it really boosted my non-existant self esteem. Speaking of self esteem here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian putting the fat ASS in KardASShian at some premiere, thinking she’s got it goin’ on, because too many people tell her how hot she is, when they should really be telling her she’s just a waste of fucking tits, only she doesn’t realize it yet. The truth may hurt but at least people know where they stand or in my case sit.

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Kim Kardashian Blowin Dicks Not Candles Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Big Ol’ Tits
Kim Kardashian Mom Jeans
Kim Kardashian’s Pussy Preview

Posted in:Dress|Fat|Kim Kardashian|Tits|Unsorted

2007

25

Oct

I am – Laura Prepon Pregnancy Pictures of the Day

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Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I am no expert on pregnancy. There was a time when I was trying to keep an ex girlfriend around and figured the best way was to knock her up, so every chance I got to accidentally creampie her, I would. It never worked. There was another girl who wanted me to settle down and she thought that having a baby with me was the solution, without thinking about the fact that I was a deadbeat and couldn’t even take care of myself, but being the asshole that I am and excited about the fact that a chick actually wanted to carry my baby, because that’s pretty much the number one compliment you can get from a girl, I decided to spend a month trying to knock her up, before realizing how insane I was being. Lucky for me, years of hard living had killed my sperm harder than it killed my liver.

Now I don’t know if Laura Prepon is actually knocked up, but she is at Starbucks, and where I live all the maternity leave women spend hours a day in Starbucks because they have nothing else to do with themselves and need to get out, so I can only assume that she didn’t just gain weight, and her horizontal stripes aren’t working against her, because that shit’s supposed to make you look fat, I predict this is the early stages of her being knocked up because sometimes letting dudes come inside you feels like the right thing to do, until you realize you forgot to take your birth control pill and that you morally are pro-life and can’t get an abortion, even though everyone’s doing it because condoms are a thing of the past.

Let’s just hope her John Goodman Lookin’ motherfucker that she’s talking to, isn’t the baby daddy, cuz if the baby gets that metabolism, her vagina may break.

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Posted in:Laura Prepon|Legs|Pregnant|Tits|Unsorted

2007

25

Oct

I am – Halle Berry’s Pregnancy Tits of the Day

6 Comments »

So I wrote some comments about a hot Jewish girl yesterday, and people dwell on the fact that I said most Jewish girls are smoke and mirrors and aren’t that hot. So I got this email backlash:

you just lost an great visitor with those jewish comments. dont know if that means anything to you or not. but im jewish and you really did not come off well there at all.

My response is that it’s just fucking jokes and you shouldn’t take you or your ugly Jewish wife so seriously. I like stirring shit up and pissing people off and you of all people should know that Jewish chicks aren’t all that hot for the most part and addressing that I found a hot one doesn’t mean I hate Jewish people. However, I am not surprised that a Jewish person would write me whiney fucking emails about how bad of a person I am and how they are never going to come back to my site because I made fun of Jewish chicks for being good at giving blowjobs. I mean what it comes down to is that you just have to look at the positive in what I write…and stop crying about how the world hates you. I feel like your Filipino nanny who raised you and I just made you turn off the TV to do your fucking homework. Baby.

Now I know how Halle Berry felt when she made a Jewish nose joke on Leno even though everyone, including Jews make Jewish nose jokes, but enough about the Jews. Halle Berry is pregnant and with pregnancy comes bigger tits and she’s showing them off because girls generally don’t feel that hot when they throw up every morning and piss a hundred times a day, so work with what you got and that makes all of you happy. I wonder if your mom’s tits looked this how what she was pregnant with you? Maybe you should hit up your old photo album and send the goods my way.

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Posted in:cleavage|Halle Berry|Pregnancy|Tits|Unsorted

2007

25

Oct

I am – Halle Berry's Pregnancy Tits of the Day

No Comments »

So I wrote some comments about a hot Jewish girl yesterday, and people dwell on the fact that I said most Jewish girls are smoke and mirrors and aren’t that hot. So I got this email backlash:

you just lost an great visitor with those jewish comments. dont know if that means anything to you or not. but im jewish and you really did not come off well there at all.

My response is that it’s just fucking jokes and you shouldn’t take you or your ugly Jewish wife so seriously. I like stirring shit up and pissing people off and you of all people should know that Jewish chicks aren’t all that hot for the most part and addressing that I found a hot one doesn’t mean I hate Jewish people. However, I am not surprised that a Jewish person would write me whiney fucking emails about how bad of a person I am and how they are never going to come back to my site because I made fun of Jewish chicks for being good at giving blowjobs. I mean what it comes down to is that you just have to look at the positive in what I write…and stop crying about how the world hates you. I feel like your Filipino nanny who raised you and I just made you turn off the TV to do your fucking homework. Baby.

Now I know how Halle Berry felt when she made a Jewish nose joke on Leno even though everyone, including Jews make Jewish nose jokes, but enough about the Jews. Halle Berry is pregnant and with pregnancy comes bigger tits and she’s showing them off because girls generally don’t feel that hot when they throw up every morning and piss a hundred times a day, so work with what you got and that makes all of you happy. I wonder if your mom’s tits looked this how what she was pregnant with you? Maybe you should hit up your old photo album and send the goods my way.

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Posted in:cleavage|Halle Berry|Pregnancy|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Oct

I am – Bar Rafaeli on the Runway in Lingerie of the Day

18 Comments »

I don’t know when these Bar Rafaeli lingerie pictures were taken, but I figured they were worth posting because she’s Israeli and she proves that some Jewish girls are actually decent looking and not the product of inbreeding with their droopy dog faces that only daddy’s big bank account can fix with plastic surgery.

I am not trying to be an anti-semite or anything, I am just saying that Jewish guys always run after non-Jewish girls for a reason. At first I thought it was a power trip, like having the power to lock a hot non-Jew down and making her convert for you and your lifestyle, because I hear converting to that shit takes at least a year, but then I realized that Jewish girls just don’t really have it going on for the most part. Sure they are all good at giving blowjobs because of their teenage years at summer camp trained them right, and usually the Jews who are good looking are just smoke and mirrors, you know the right clothes and make-up and constant maintenance and hair salon appointments. But they are just as high maintenance as their Jew hair and Jewish guys realize that if they just run after some poor non-Jew that they don’t respect, they can get what they want because they give them a taste of the “Good Life” all while being dicks to them, because in their mind they are never going to marry the bitch because she’s not one of them, until they prove that they are worthy.

The whole thing is weirder that David Copperfields elaborate pick up strategy and I guess none of that really matters, because they are getting the bitches and you aren’t, but these pictures of Bar Rafaeli prove that their is still hope for the Jews…..

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