Tits Archives - Page 58 of 79 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

18

Sep

I am – Penelope Cruz's Cousin and Sister at the Beach of the Day

Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz’s family on the beach somewhere without Penelope Cruz. I have posted about her sister Monica Cruz before, she’s sin the thong, but I have no idea who the topless chick is. The message board I steal my pictures from say that it’s her cousin and it doesn’t really matter who she is, all that matters is that she is living the life, sitting on the beach all thanks to Penelope’s hard work. I guess this is a lot like when they were living in Spain as kids and they’d sit at home all day and send Penelope off to mow lawns, clean houses, work at the local cafe so that when she got home they could steal her paycheck and buy themselves ice cream.

Reality is that I don’t care how she’s related to Penelope Cruz because I just like topless beaches and would post that shit whether bitch was famous or not. I have this fantasy of grandeur, living the life with an above ground pool and a backyard where my stepdaughter and her friends will tan topless while I just sit back and drink beer. All the 18-20 year old hot girls will come over to take advantage of the only pool in the ghetto and I will be a happy fucking man….

I guess the point of this post is that the cousin’s tits are uneven and there’s nothing sexier than bringing a bitch home, taking off her bra to find that shit was being balanced out with a pair of socks and you’re really dealing with some one tit bigger than the other shit that is a lot like driving with a flat tire.

Here are those pics:

Related Posts:

Penelope or Monica Cruz Foot Fetish Pics
Penelope Cruz’s TIts Leaving the Gym
Penelope Cruz Bikini Pictures
Penelope Cruz in a Short Dress

2007

17

Sep

I am – Cheryl Tweedy In a See Through Shirt of the Day

3 Comments »

I like to give back to the people every once in a while and this is one of those times. Cheryl Tweedy needs all the exposure she can get because she’s pretty much a nobody who was once in a Spice GIrls revival band called Girls Aloud. It was such a revolution and amazing play on words that it reminds me of the time I accidentally walking into a french Metallica revival band called Mentallica. I didn’t read the sign properly because I don’t really know how to read very well and I figured getting to see Metallica on a small stage for 2 dollars was a good deal, even though I hate the band. When I got in I realized I was wrong but rocked out to broken the songs in broken english with a bunch of french dudes.

Either way, I am giving back to her by giving her exposure and acknowledging that she’s into exposing her body by wearing a see-through shirt and showing off some really big looking bra that I am not too sure she actually fills, but it looks like she’s stacked enough for a homosexual footballer who used to shower with Beckham to enjoy….

Here are those pics

Related Posts:

Cheryl Tweedy Bikini Pictures
More Cheryl Tweedy Bikini Pictures
Sarah Hardings Tit Slip in Concert
David Beckham Feels Posh Spice Up Pictures

2007

17

Sep

I am – Jennifer Ellison Bikini Pictures of the Day

1 Comment »

I have no idea when these pictures were taken mainly because I don’t even know who this bitch is, but also because I am not good at staying on top of shit. I can’t even recognize the real celebrities in pictures so pointing out some no name is pretty much impossible. I do know that these pictures are doing the rounds and that she’s got some big tits and an exposed ass and that’s something I fully support.

The thing I like about no name d-list celebrities is that they have these huge fucking egos. They think they are more important than they are and give attitude to anyone who crosses their path, because they are trying to maintain that they are important because they have been on TV or in a magazine or some shit. Real celebs aren’t as accessible because people are constantly running after them and actually care about them, so I’d never know if they work the same way but I’ll never know and I don’t really care.

What I do know is that I met some useless actor from commercials out of LA who has been there for 2 years trying to establish himself with some kind of career. He was talking to a girl I was talking to. Dude was talking about how he likes to visit montreal, but his new home is LA and that he’ll be going back fro auditions in a couple of days, thinking that that will lock down her vagina for him. He would go off on how he’s met certain celebs and how the bars in LA are way cooler than the shit hole we happened to be in. He was drinking champagne and I thought his game was fucking weak but dude still got the girl to go home with him.

All this to say that losers with a dream who are delusional enough to move to LA in hopes of being found, get a lot of pussy when they leave LA because the girls they meet are easily impressed and fuck them in the event they ever do hit it big so that they have a story to tell their kids.

What I am getting at is that if you can’t impress girls you meet lie. Tell them you are some d-list piece of shit, drink champagne and compare everything to LA and you will probably end up getting laid or beat up by local guys who think actors are fags and don’t like the way their scarves seduce the local sluts….

Here are those Jennifer Ellison Bikini pictures.

Related Posts:

Jennifer Ellison’s See Through Shirt Pictures
Jennifer Ellison is a 2 Dollar Hooker Pictures
Jennifer Ellison Public Service Announcement

2007

17

Sep

I am – Christina Aguilera’s See Through Pregnancy Nipples Dress of the Day

5 Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

So we all know that Christina Aguilera is pregnant and we all know that her husband isn’t the best looking dude in the world, because he kinda reminds us of the kid who had no friends growing up. The funny thing about the kid with no friends growing up was just a little socially awkward and funny looking, but all that alone time and rejection lead him to learn some kind of skill, That skill was making enough money doing whatever the fuck he does to get in circles where girls like Christina Aguilera hangs out for long enough to pull his dick out and blow her away with what’s gotta be some kind of heavy machinery, because this slut looks like a size queen….so here he is knocking some popstar up when every girl who ever turned him down or laughed at him is sitting in her shitty home in the shitty town they are from looking at her shitty husband who was the highschool hero but now can barely make enough money to pay for their shitty car, listening to Augilera songs while cooking their shitty dinner with food they bought with coupons, knowing the whole time that life coulda been a lot better for her, had she not been such a superficial fucking cunt. I guess karma is a bitch.

Unfortunately, you’re the socially awkward kid everyone avoided because you smell and you have no skills that will ever take you to places popstars hang out and if you were there you wouldn’t be able to impress her with your huge penis you’d just probably make her laugh or run away, something you’re used to by now…but thanks to these pictures you don’t need to get into any celebrity high profile circle to make out this bitches tits she’s doing all the work for us….in a few months these fuckers are going to have a baby dominating them, so enjoy it while they last….

Related Posts:

Christina Aguilera’s Pregnancy Tits Pictures
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Pregnancy Cleavage Pictures
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Tits in China Pictures
Christina Aguilera’s Tour Bus Video

2007

17

Sep

I am – Christina Aguilera's See Through Pregnancy Nipples Dress of the Day

No Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

So we all know that Christina Aguilera is pregnant and we all know that her husband isn’t the best looking dude in the world, because he kinda reminds us of the kid who had no friends growing up. The funny thing about the kid with no friends growing up was just a little socially awkward and funny looking, but all that alone time and rejection lead him to learn some kind of skill, That skill was making enough money doing whatever the fuck he does to get in circles where girls like Christina Aguilera hangs out for long enough to pull his dick out and blow her away with what’s gotta be some kind of heavy machinery, because this slut looks like a size queen….so here he is knocking some popstar up when every girl who ever turned him down or laughed at him is sitting in her shitty home in the shitty town they are from looking at her shitty husband who was the highschool hero but now can barely make enough money to pay for their shitty car, listening to Augilera songs while cooking their shitty dinner with food they bought with coupons, knowing the whole time that life coulda been a lot better for her, had she not been such a superficial fucking cunt. I guess karma is a bitch.

Unfortunately, you’re the socially awkward kid everyone avoided because you smell and you have no skills that will ever take you to places popstars hang out and if you were there you wouldn’t be able to impress her with your huge penis you’d just probably make her laugh or run away, something you’re used to by now…but thanks to these pictures you don’t need to get into any celebrity high profile circle to make out this bitches tits she’s doing all the work for us….in a few months these fuckers are going to have a baby dominating them, so enjoy it while they last….

Related Posts:

Christina Aguilera’s Pregnancy Tits Pictures
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Pregnancy Cleavage Pictures
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Tits in China Pictures
Christina Aguilera’s Tour Bus Video

2007

17

Sep

I am – Hayden Panettiere Buying a Lacy Thong of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Hayden Panettiere buying some “sexy” red semi see-through panties. I guess now that she’s a big girl, she can wear big girl underwear too, it’s like when a girl first gets her period and buys her first box of pads, or when her breasts start budding and she’s gotta get her first A-Cup, or like when a college girl who never really admitted to masturbating hooks up her first vibrator, or like when a 12 year old dude tries on his first rubber to see how fucking annoying safe sex is going to be for the rest of his single life and maybe even his married life because he doesn’t trust his wife is on the pill and knows she is trying to trick him and lock him down leaving him with a kid that forces him to have to see her every second week after the divorce for the next 18 years.

Either way, I don’t find these pictures hot. I don’t know if it’s because I find Hayden a weird looking troll that doesn’t really do anything for me other than make me wonder how her neck and body support her big waterhead. Or if it’s the underwear that she’s buying remind me of some K-Mart shit that 50 year old ladies buy to drive their bored impotent fat husbands crazy on Valentines day, because it is the day for lovers after all.

Here are those pics:

Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere Walking Dog in Shorts
Hayden Panettiere Lickin’ Ass Pictures
Hayden Panettiere Bikini Pictures
Hayden Panettiere Picking Her Thong Wedgie Then Licks Her Hand

2007

14

Sep

I am – Christina Aguilera Pregnancy Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of pregnant Christina Augilera’s leaving some restaurant with her husband that gives all of you hope that if you ever make a lot of money, you can knock up a bitch like Christina too, but until then, you’ll have to jerk of to her attempt at ready to drop porn that is pretty fucking weak cuz all we can see is her huge implant pregnancy fat milk filled tits. That’s good enough for me, what isn’t good enough for me is that I lost a bet I made 10 years ago that I would bang her in my lifetime, that fact that dude dropped load in her that stuck means she’ll probably stick it out with him for a while probably a good move on his part, because being the baby daddy of X-Tina’s baby is sure to go over well with all the young college chicks he’s going to cheat on her with because now he thinks he’s hot shit…I am just hoping it’s enough time for me to get my shit together because I hate losing bets and because I already know she’s got no standards….but I think it’s easier to just accept that I didn’t win. I am lazy like that.

I used to know a guy who was obsessed with trying to get a girl pregnant. He never really had sex all that often and when he did it was usually paid for. He would always sabotage his condoms hoping one would get through but the problem with hookers is that you can’t always find them for the follow-up. He became so obsessed with it that he’d go to the laundry room in his building and jerk of on girls panties, thinking that one unsuspecting girl would put on the underwear before it dried. What he didn’t realize was that there was a hidden camera in the laundry room of his building and the one girl he constantly did it too caught on the first time and made a complaint. He got arrested and he probably should have quit his pregnancy quest while he was ahead…but dude just had to push the limits.

Either way, here are some Aguilera crazy cleavage pictures.

If I was a real blog this post would have been two lines and it woulda gone like this: Hey Christina, maybe you should lay off the cheesecake it’s starting to look like you’re pregnant. Oh wait it’s cuz you are. Nice tits.

Related Posts:

Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Fucking Cleavage Pictures
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Fucking Cleavage in China Pictures
Christina Aguilera’s Tour Bus Video
Christina Aguilera’s Orgasm Face Pictures

2007

14

Sep

I am – Melanie Brown Leaving Dance Rehearsals of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some Mel B, Scary Spice, Woman With Illegitimate Kid Who’s Baby Daddy Wouldn’t Admit it’s His Because She’s Obviously a Quality Chick So She Had To Get a Paternity Test Like She Was White/Black Trash on Maury, Melanie Brown in some kind of unitard that’s touching her ass, tits and vagina all at the same time like some miracle fabric. She’s leaving dance practice for the upcoming dancing with the stars and I think shit is hot and by hot I mean better than nothing. She was the Spice Girl with the hardest nipples and the on the top of my list to fuck provided their careers ended and she ended up on the street like most girls I charm with my low income. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen because of shows like Dancing With The Stars that are there to give everyone a second fucking chance that they don’t deserve.

So here she is looking alright for someone who just had a kid, she’s bigger but if you put her next to my fat wife she’d look like this anorexic chick we used to lock in a room and force to eat a cupcake because watching the struggle made for good times. She’d cry about how sweet it was and she’s gag and shit and it was just a fucking cupcake. I wish my wife had that problem…but she’s more into eating every cupcake at the neighbor’s kid’s birthday party leaving 20 kids pretty fucking unhappy.

Related Posts:

Mel B’s Tits are Dancing with the Stars
Mel B’s Upskirt Pictures
Mel B’s Bikini Pictures
Mel B’s See Through Shirt

2007

13

Sep

I am – Mariah Carey’s Cleavage and Short Skirt of the Day

3 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Mariah Carey’s cleavage because she has big tits and I figured you like to feel like you were in the room with her, lookin’ down her shirt because you are a pervert and wouldn’t actually be with a girl who looks like this. That’s not saying that Mariah Carey is hot, it’s saying that you’re a loser.

Speaking of losers, I used to hang out with a girl who was built like Mariah. She had a weak chin, big boobs and a pretty curvy body. She was an alcoholic, so we’d get drunk pretty much everyday for the month we hung out together. I wanted to bang her from day one, but she thought she was hotter than she was and liked having me around because I could drink as much as she could and I didn’t look down on her for being a slut who ended up going home everynight with a different dude. I took on the shitty friend role who had to listen to all her sexual conquests about how guys stuffed her and how she’d have to get rid of them then next day and shit, and it made me want to take her for a round. No matter how drunk we got she would never give me any pussy. She would always leave with a random because she had some theory that she only bangs dudes she doesn’t know.

Either way, I went out with her on an off night and she ended up leaving the bar alone. She invited me back to her place so I figured I’d be banging her. We put on a movie and I grabber her pussy, that’s my move. If they throw off the hand it means they don’t want it. I am pretty romantic like that especially when I know the girl I am dealing with is a slut. Anyway, we end up fooling around, I finger bang her, suck her tits all the standard shit and like an idiot pull pants off. That shit was like the alarm sounding in her head and she put a stop to everything and sent me home never to talk to me again.

Whenever I see Mariah Cary pictures, I remember that night, that girl and how I can turn off girls quicker than anyone I know and here are those Mariah pics.

Related Posts:

Mariah Carey’s Upskirt and See Through Shirt
Mariah Carey’s Bikini Pictures
Mariah Carey’s See Through Shit in the Rain
Mariah Carey’s Nipples Walk Her Dog

2007

13

Sep

I am – Mariah Carey's Cleavage and Short Skirt of the Day

3 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Mariah Carey’s cleavage because she has big tits and I figured you like to feel like you were in the room with her, lookin’ down her shirt because you are a pervert and wouldn’t actually be with a girl who looks like this. That’s not saying that Mariah Carey is hot, it’s saying that you’re a loser.

Speaking of losers, I used to hang out with a girl who was built like Mariah. She had a weak chin, big boobs and a pretty curvy body. She was an alcoholic, so we’d get drunk pretty much everyday for the month we hung out together. I wanted to bang her from day one, but she thought she was hotter than she was and liked having me around because I could drink as much as she could and I didn’t look down on her for being a slut who ended up going home everynight with a different dude. I took on the shitty friend role who had to listen to all her sexual conquests about how guys stuffed her and how she’d have to get rid of them then next day and shit, and it made me want to take her for a round. No matter how drunk we got she would never give me any pussy. She would always leave with a random because she had some theory that she only bangs dudes she doesn’t know.

Either way, I went out with her on an off night and she ended up leaving the bar alone. She invited me back to her place so I figured I’d be banging her. We put on a movie and I grabber her pussy, that’s my move. If they throw off the hand it means they don’t want it. I am pretty romantic like that especially when I know the girl I am dealing with is a slut. Anyway, we end up fooling around, I finger bang her, suck her tits all the standard shit and like an idiot pull pants off. That shit was like the alarm sounding in her head and she put a stop to everything and sent me home never to talk to me again.

Whenever I see Mariah Cary pictures, I remember that night, that girl and how I can turn off girls quicker than anyone I know and here are those Mariah pics.

Related Posts:

Mariah Carey’s Upskirt and See Through Shirt
Mariah Carey’s Bikini Pictures
Mariah Carey’s See Through Shit in the Rain
Mariah Carey’s Nipples Walk Her Dog

Archive for the Tits Category