Tits Archives - Page 59 of 79 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

12

Sep

I am – Melanie Brown's Tits are Dancing With the Stars of the Day

Her name is Melanie Brown but she also goes by Scary Spice, Mel B and Melanie B, but I guess it doesn’t matter what she goes by when she’s rocking tits like this. I know she just had Eddie Murphey’s baby which is weird because I thought he banged trannies and trannies don’t have lady parts and can’t get pregnant but either way, she’s is all full of milk and cool enough to show them tits off. The group of mom’s that meet up at my local coffee shop dress like fucking homeless people in over-sized jogging outfits like they have given up on life. These bitches are tired, bored and probably hate each other, but only hang out because all their single friends are out having fun, or working. The closest thing to sexy that they do is lick the icing off the cake seductively reminding us all how they got pregnant and of what they are going to look like in 5 years.

Either way, bitch is prepping for Dancing with the Stars because she’s obviously starved for attention and trying to hold onto that little bit of fame she has and she’s doing it with her tits out because tits are one of the best ways to get attention.

Point of this post is to say that it’s nice to see the progress black women have made in society that to see a set of their tits we don’t have to hit up national geographic.

Bonus – Mel B’s Tits Leaving the Dance Studio

Related Posts:

Scary Spice Upskirt Picture
Mel B Bikini Pictures
Melanie Brown’s See Through Shirt
Spice Girl Reunion Pictures

2007

12

Sep

I am – Melanie Brown’s Tits are Dancing With the Stars of the Day

6 Comments »

Her name is Melanie Brown but she also goes by Scary Spice, Mel B and Melanie B, but I guess it doesn’t matter what she goes by when she’s rocking tits like this. I know she just had Eddie Murphey’s baby which is weird because I thought he banged trannies and trannies don’t have lady parts and can’t get pregnant but either way, she’s is all full of milk and cool enough to show them tits off. The group of mom’s that meet up at my local coffee shop dress like fucking homeless people in over-sized jogging outfits like they have given up on life. These bitches are tired, bored and probably hate each other, but only hang out because all their single friends are out having fun, or working. The closest thing to sexy that they do is lick the icing off the cake seductively reminding us all how they got pregnant and of what they are going to look like in 5 years.

Either way, bitch is prepping for Dancing with the Stars because she’s obviously starved for attention and trying to hold onto that little bit of fame she has and she’s doing it with her tits out because tits are one of the best ways to get attention.

Point of this post is to say that it’s nice to see the progress black women have made in society that to see a set of their tits we don’t have to hit up national geographic.

Bonus – Mel B’s Tits Leaving the Dance Studio

Related Posts:

Scary Spice Upskirt Picture
Mel B Bikini Pictures
Melanie Brown’s See Through Shirt
Spice Girl Reunion Pictures

2007

12

Sep

I am – Elisha Cuthbert's Sweater Tits of the Day

No Comments »

I am an Elisha Cuthbert hater and I don’t know why. I just can’t stomach the bitch and whenever I see her in pictures I like to rip into her because it makes me feel better about myself and my hatred for her. She’s useless and since her last/only role she’s let herself go. But I am guessing she’s back in the workforce because these pictures of her out and about make her look pretty fucking good, so I am posting them as a way to retract my hatred for her and channel that shit into love because according the the shitty music my wife listens to, Love can Move Mountains.

You know what else can move mountains….money. I was at the bank machine trying to figure out my wife’s pin number because a man’s gotta eat/drink/see strippers and the motherfucker in front of me left his transaction receipt in the machine and as he walked away gave me an “I’m so much better than you” smirk. When I go to the machine, I pulled out his transaction slip and motherfucker had 72,000 dollars in his bank account. He passive aggressively told me that I am a fucking poor, hurtbag loser and that he’s so much better than me without saying a fucking word. To make the whole night even better, I couldn’t hack into my wife’s account and they cancelled her card I am not eating/drinking or seeing strippers. Thanks asshole.

Here are those Cuthbert looking hot again pictures….

The Sweater Tits:

Bonus – Some White Dress Action

Related Posts:

Elisha Cuthbert Bikini Pictures
Elisha Cuthbert Fat and Pale Leaving the Tanning Salon Pictures
Elisha Cuthbert is a Fat Smoker Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Elisha Cuthbert|Hot|Tits|Unsorted

2007

12

Sep

I am – Elisha Cuthbert’s Sweater Tits of the Day

No Comments »

I am an Elisha Cuthbert hater and I don’t know why. I just can’t stomach the bitch and whenever I see her in pictures I like to rip into her because it makes me feel better about myself and my hatred for her. She’s useless and since her last/only role she’s let herself go. But I am guessing she’s back in the workforce because these pictures of her out and about make her look pretty fucking good, so I am posting them as a way to retract my hatred for her and channel that shit into love because according the the shitty music my wife listens to, Love can Move Mountains.

You know what else can move mountains….money. I was at the bank machine trying to figure out my wife’s pin number because a man’s gotta eat/drink/see strippers and the motherfucker in front of me left his transaction receipt in the machine and as he walked away gave me an “I’m so much better than you” smirk. When I go to the machine, I pulled out his transaction slip and motherfucker had 72,000 dollars in his bank account. He passive aggressively told me that I am a fucking poor, hurtbag loser and that he’s so much better than me without saying a fucking word. To make the whole night even better, I couldn’t hack into my wife’s account and they cancelled her card I am not eating/drinking or seeing strippers. Thanks asshole.

Here are those Cuthbert looking hot again pictures….

The Sweater Tits:

Bonus – Some White Dress Action

Related Posts:

Elisha Cuthbert Bikini Pictures
Elisha Cuthbert Fat and Pale Leaving the Tanning Salon Pictures
Elisha Cuthbert is a Fat Smoker Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Elisha Cuthbert|Hot|Tits|Unsorted

2007

12

Sep

I am – Anna Kournikova In Some Red Dress Showing Off Her Legs and Cleavage of the Day

No Comments »

Anna Kournikova is probably the most overrated tennis player of all time. I guess she was a nice addition to the sport because she’s pretty hot, and gave men a real reason to watch tennis, because seeing dykes screaming and grunting while flashing their panties isn’t as hot as some young tight bodied Russian chick. Here she is at some event with some fat chick because I the fat chick makes her look skinnier and prettier by comparison in pictures in Miami.

I was at a party with fat chicks the other night too. It wasn’t a very good party and the only reason I was there was because they were part of some group my wife is involved in, like Eating Anonymous or some shit. So here I am in a room full of fat chicks wanting to shoot myself in the head and all their boyfriends and husbands are there trying to have a good time, you know, drinking away their pain of having a wife that looks the way some of these chicks looked. I know some of the dudes didn’t sign up for this shit, but kids and postpartum depression lead to an emotional eating stay at home wife, but some of the other dudes were socially awkward lanky motherfuckers with no self esteem who got in with these chicks who have been fat all their lives because it’s better than being alone and here I am in a room full of them.

My fear was that an orgy was going to be organized, because swinging with obese chicks is when I decide my life isn’t worth living, even though watching it would have been fucking funny. They ended up just doing a conga line and eating more chips than I had ever seen consumed before, and I didn’t have my camera to bring it to you, but I do have these Kournikova pics which are a hell of a lot more interesting than my life and there is a fat chick who would have been considered skinny at the event I was at, but you can pretend.

Related Posts:

Anna Kournikova Bikini Top Pictures
More Anna Kournikova Bikini Top Pictures
Maria Sharapova Stretching Her Tennis Ass Pictures
Chicks Playing Tennis Pictures

2007

12

Sep

I am – Kim Kardashian and Jenna Jameson Do the Heatherette Show of the Day

1 Comment »

I never understood Heatherette, they are some kind of drugged up club kid tranny shit that all these celebrity bitches fell in love with and bought into and now they are making more money than anyone you know being all drugged up tranny club kid outrageousness. Either way, Kim Kardashian and Jenna Jameson were some of the “stars” and I used that term loosely, more loose than both of their porned up twats, who modeled for their fashion show.

I fucking hate porn bitches but I guess there’s something nice about seeing a successful mainstream pornstar and an unsuccessful amateur pornstar hanging out. It’s like seeing the Big Brothers of America teaching some homeless poor kid how to play baseball. I know they are both sluts and that they both put out for money like the street trash drug addicts I used to pay to fuck and they let the people doing them film them like it’s not a big deal which is amazing because trying to convince girls over the years to let me bust out my polaroid never really worked out for me. The best I got was a picture of one of them sleeping with part of her tit hanging out, but I even got busted for that and she destroyed it. So as I suck at life, these girls who seemingly suck at life too, also suck dick on camera and hang out at fashion shows together.

I can only assume that Jenna got casted in the part because bitch looks like a fucking tranny, and apparently Heatherette is into trannies. I love how fucking serious she’s taking this gig like it’s a fucking academy award performance or her first big break onto the fashion model scene because no matter what she does or how she does it, I will always know that she’s nothing but a broken down girl with daddy issues, who used her cunt to get ahead…a cunt that looks like she may soon be turning into a cock. Porn Bitches are trash. I’d rather see everyday girls get fucked any day. That’s the end of that.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian Pussy Preview Video
More Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Preview VIdeos
Jenna Jameson is the Living Dead

2007

12

Sep

I am – Shitty Quality Vanessa Hudgens Bikini Pictures of the Day

6 Comments »

I didn’t know who this bitch was before a week or 2 ago so I have no idea when they were taken and that means that they could be old or they could be new but one thing I am sure about is that they are fucking shitty.

This Vanessa Hudgen’s bitch is doing what almost every girl in my life has done. She’s given us a taste of her nakedness, because one night she had poor judgment and now that we want more she’s keeping shit covered up. My logic is that since we’ve already seen it, you should be naked every time we’re together, and since I don’t get out much, being together is you in pictures on my computer.

I remember after almost every girl I ever hooked up with on any level, I’m talking them topless, them bottomless, them flashing me, them showering for me, me finger-banging them, me going down on them, them going down on me, anal sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, dry sex, heavy petting, drunk sex, sober sex, lesbian sex… it was always a one time deal. They’d give me a taste and I never had what it took to get them doing it again. The shame and embarrassment outweighed the fun in doing it and since they knew that I wasn’t up to their standards, they could easily find a better guy to share their goods with. I predict that’s what you can expect from this High School Musical slut, we’ve got a taste and you won’t be seeing her naked for a little while.

But we will see her in shitty bikini pictures.

Bonus – I found some Better Quality Pics of Her With the Fag Efron….

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Naked Vanessa Hudgens some Nude Self-Shot Pictures
Vanessa Hudgens Self-Shot Erotica
Vanessa Hudgens Bikini Pictures
Ashley Tisdale in a White Bikini

2007

11

Sep

I am – Lisa Rinna Grabbing Her Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

I was never really into this bitch because she’s pretty unknown and I was too busy getting drunk and getting in trouble during the Melrose Place years. I did know a group of crackheads who were hooked on the shit but I did what I could to stay away because getting caught up in a TV show is almost as depressing as never having a career after a TV show. Either way, bitch knows what she’s good for and distracts us from her busted chpped up plastic surgery ridden face by playing with her tits like they are nintendo.

I just spent the last 20 minutes watching some hot chick in tight pants trying to change a light bulb in a women’s clothing store. She was standing on a ladder that didn’t reach so her attempt involved a lot of stretching, bending, squeezing and climbing up and down a step-ladder. She didn’t notice me watching for the first 10 minutes but as a crowd formed around me and we all watched her like she was a shitty adult soap opera she realized and wasn’t too happy. Some asshole tried to be the hero and went in to help her probably in hopes of getting her number while ruining it for the rest of us, but it was probably one of the hottest things I’ve seen all day and inspired me to get back to the gym to watch girls taking yoga classes because it is better than porn.

Here are Lisa Rinna Grabbing her fake tits pics while making sex faces, not sex faces I’ve ever seen, when I used to fuck girls would either be sleeping, or clenching their eyes waiting for the traumatic experience to end…not because I raped them, but because they couldn’t really stomach me.

Related Posts:

Lisa Rinna in a Swimsuit Pictures
Lisa Rinna is a Hard Nippled Clown Pictures
Lisa Rinna Tit Pimple Pictures

2007

11

Sep

I am – Lohan's Rehab Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Lohan’s tits with hard nipples as she hangs out with other rich kids on coke who are probably in rehab with her coming off their own rich kid drugs of choice all while wearing skinny jeans and being hipper than any of you, which isn’t saying much because you’re a loser.

I remember when I first got into middle school, I got hooked on this one chick in my class who had tits, when the rest of the girls didn’t. I am talking real woman tits, with big real woman nipples that were always hard, we’d call it “Nip-On” because I was always fucking cool and when all the other girls were just in training bra’s trying to hide their “budding bee stings” which I am sure is a hot concept to you, but that is why you shouldn’t be a gym teacher.

Either way, we used to try to follow her around and tease her and shit because we wanted her to feel insecure about these tits she couldn’t hide so that she would end up letting one of us suck them, but the plan backfired and she just strapped down, covered up and I don’t think we saw cleavage or hard nipples out of her ever again.

Lucky for us, Lohan’s life will lead us to seeing her completely naked one day and the fact that I care enough to write about her hard nipples like a loser whose never seen hard nipples and who is so fascinated with hard nipples because girls don’t talk to him, when in reality I am the coolest motherfucker I know and I am just bad at marketing myself.

Related Posts:

stepINTERVIEW with Chauntal, the girl who plays Lohan in some Viral Video
Lohan’s Sex Scene in I Know Who Killed Me Video
Lindsay Lohan Bikini Pictures
Lohan’s Tit With Sienna Miller Pictures

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Nipples|Rehab|Tits|Unsorted

2007

11

Sep

I am – Lohan’s Rehab Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Lohan’s tits with hard nipples as she hangs out with other rich kids on coke who are probably in rehab with her coming off their own rich kid drugs of choice all while wearing skinny jeans and being hipper than any of you, which isn’t saying much because you’re a loser.

I remember when I first got into middle school, I got hooked on this one chick in my class who had tits, when the rest of the girls didn’t. I am talking real woman tits, with big real woman nipples that were always hard, we’d call it “Nip-On” because I was always fucking cool and when all the other girls were just in training bra’s trying to hide their “budding bee stings” which I am sure is a hot concept to you, but that is why you shouldn’t be a gym teacher.

Either way, we used to try to follow her around and tease her and shit because we wanted her to feel insecure about these tits she couldn’t hide so that she would end up letting one of us suck them, but the plan backfired and she just strapped down, covered up and I don’t think we saw cleavage or hard nipples out of her ever again.

Lucky for us, Lohan’s life will lead us to seeing her completely naked one day and the fact that I care enough to write about her hard nipples like a loser whose never seen hard nipples and who is so fascinated with hard nipples because girls don’t talk to him, when in reality I am the coolest motherfucker I know and I am just bad at marketing myself.

Related Posts:

stepINTERVIEW with Chauntal, the girl who plays Lohan in some Viral Video
Lohan’s Sex Scene in I Know Who Killed Me Video
Lindsay Lohan Bikini Pictures
Lohan’s Tit With Sienna Miller Pictures

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Nipples|Rehab|Tits|Unsorted

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