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Archive for the Trash Category

2009

15

Jan

Haylie Duff Taking Out the Trash of the Day

I saw these pictures and the caption read something like “Haylie Duff Needs a Personal Assistant to Take Out Her Trash” or some shit implying that she was above taking out the fucking trash. The person who wrote is obviously a fucking idiot, who is confused and thinks this bitch is more important than she is because she may or may not have been on TV once. I always thought she was just her sister’s personal assistant, and even at that, taking out her sister’s trash is not part of how she gets paid, because I know if I was a personal assistants and asked to take the fucking trash out, I’d take a shit in my bosses bed. Not that I am above taking out the garbage, sure I am more into letting it pile in the corner of my one room hell I call home until it’s disgusting rotting food smell masks my wife’s stench but I am against being demeaned by taking out other people’s garbage and clean up their messes like I am some kind of piece of shit.

Posted in:Haylie Duff|Trash

2009

14

Jan

Paris Hilton’s BFF is Fucking Trash…Obviously…of the Day

I am not even going to bother researching this girl’s name because I have absolutely no fucking respect for her.

She won some contest to be Paris Hilton’s BFF, which is fucking ridiculous to begin with because Paris Hilton is an irrelevant, washed up rich girl with bad parents. I will argue that even if you’re aspiring to make it in the entertainment world and this is the only way you know how that is accessible, it’s not going to work for you because the whole concept of being anything that belongs to Paris Hilton is not only embarrassing, but degrading which means there’s no self respect, and despite no self respect usually leading to letting the right guy cum in her ass, if he promised to put her on TV when her contract with Paris Hilton is done, it’s still not going to get you work outside of porn and prostitution.

The fact that she has paparazzi pics of her is just another example that Hollywood is mocking us. They are producing shit and we are eating it up, because we all know that in reality, it takes years to develop a friendship you’d label BFF, not that you would because that would be fucking gay, so this is just another example of Paris Hilton playing some flakey bullshit that people seem to buy the fuck into, making her tons of money, and making me hate humanity, because that’s pretty much how she’s gone this far. It works for her….

I will argue that she knows exactly what she’s doing, and that this dumb ugly barbie shit is just a character people expect from her so the post isn’t about hating on Paris or her song and herpes filled lap dance, but it is about the poor confused irrelevant girl who has no concept of anything because to do this to yourself, you’d have to be a fucking retard, and I feel even retards wouldn’t do this to themselves and would rather be sitting in the corner hitting rocks together for hours on end.

The worst thing is that I know she is basking in the glory of following Paris around like her little fuckin’ pet. You know she’s bragging to her friends and going to sleep at night thinking she’s made it so far, even though it took zero fucking skill or intelligence to pull off. She’s just a fucking tool that Paris using to make more money with and after she’s thrown this moron to the fuckin’ curb when Season 2 of this garbage starts, I guess her eyes will finally open up, because spending a year hanging with Paris is bad enough, but trying to live down the title of Paris Hilton’s bitch without the money and trips to Australia and VIP entrance to clubs, is going to be a hell of a lot fucking worse….

I predict drug use and suicide, or a career in porn that leads to drug use and suicide.

Posted in:BFF|Paris Hilton|Trash|Underwear

2008

10

Dec

Miley Cyrus and Her Really Ugly Sister are Hipster Poser Trash of the Day

There are a few problems with these pictures of Miley Cyrus and her sister walking down the street.

Firstly, they have secured something I’ve always been saying and that is that Urban Outfitters is some try hard hipster shit, and anything with the name Urban in it is a lie designed for suburban people willing to spend 100 dollars on a shirt they got at some homeless shelter, not that I shop or that I care, but whenever I walk by the shit and shit these tight jean wearing euro-trash in their high tops I get mad and I really don’t know why but little things piss me off.

Secondly, Miley’s sister in her ironic hipster bullshit attitude is wearing a vintage Mickey Mouse shirt, because Mickey Mouse is paying for their shit, because everyone knows that Billy Ray’s got no more money left from Achy Breaky Heart because he used it to buy his wife and fuel his cocaine addiction.

Lastly, take a look at this girls face, she’s an ugly version of an ugly Miley and it’s scaring the fucking shit out of me. The real question is whether she will ever find love lookin’ like the bottom of a homeless man’s rotten shoe. I didn’t know Miley even had a fucking sister and I guess if I was Miley, I’d keep this bitch locked away in the basement and as far from the spotlight as possible too because she’s embarrassing to admit you’re related to and like most retarded siblings, you’d want to protect them from the negative attention they will bring to you and your inflated career.

Either way, with a face like that, she’s pretty much got no choice but to pull that hipster, indy rock, electro, LA, art fag bullshit because for some reason hipster, indy rock, electro, LA, art fag bullshit guys are bisexual and more into a girl for her fake substance than her hot body, or hot face that you can look into without staring at awkwardly while laughing/crying/throwing up….and seem to think asymmetrical faces are as hype as asymmetrical hair….and that’s enough of this post…

Posted in:Hipster|Miley Cyrus|Trash

2008

22

Oct

Selma Blair Trying to be Trash of the Day

Selma Blair plays some trashy celebrity obsessed girl on some new TV show, that is really a rip off of a successful show in Australia, but as America does, decided to take it as their own, and make their interpretation of it available on TVs everywhere. I am not entirely sure if it has dropped or not and I am not going to find out because I am tired, lazy and have other things to do, but I do know that I have never seen it.

Not only is it a stretch that Selma Blair plays some young girl, considering she’s pushing 40, but to assume that she is trash while taking breaks to eat whatever the fuck she’s eating, that looks expensive, proves she’s nothing but a rich cunt mocking my people and I find that offensive.

Another thing I find offensive is when I was waiiting in line to get my wife a sandwich today, the girl in front of me, who had to be 14 years old, when asked if she wanted the six or twelve inch sub, said that they should make them 9 inches, because that’s the perfect sign, pretty much letting us all know that she’s had 9 inch dick before she even got her period. I guess I could be overanalyzing, maybe it was a reference to her hunger level, you know, 6 being too small and 12 being too big, but if you saw the slutty school girl outfit she was wearing, you’d know that by the time she does get her period, she’ll be pregnant, because up until now, letting guys cum in her hasn’t really been a big deal but has become something she’s used to. I predict many abortions for this girl, just like I predict Selma Blair’s had her own share of abortions, which I guess is normal, if you’re not a republican and have spent the last 10 years getting high and getting fucked because work has been pretty limited and I guess what it all comes down to, is who really gives a shit, this is Selma fucking Blair, my mailman has more fans than she does and all he does is drop bills off for people all day…..

Posted in:Selma Blair|Trash

2007

01

Nov

I am – Tera Patrick Does Halloween of the Day

tera_patrick_halloween_top.jpg

Girls don’t understand that after we’re through banging them, we really want nothing to do with them, until the next time we want to bang them and have no better pussy lined up. That’s how people end up married, they get hooked on the constant sex that takes little to no work to get, because we are lazy. The same goes for porn. Once we’ve seen a girl fuck a ton of dudes and suck a ton of dicks, we’ve pretty much got no use for her, because we know we’d never fuck her and if we really wanted to, we’d just have to come up with about 10,000 dollars, because all pornstars escort on the side. So I don’t even know why I am posting these Tera Patrick pics, she’s pretty much dead to me and I don’t even watch porn. People never believe me when I say that, but it’s true. Maybe it’s because my penis doesn’t work and I can’t pretend I am the dude fucking some nasty big pussied whore but I think it’s just because I don’t like what porn chicks look like. I am more into amateur shit, but that’s just because watching real couples fuck is real and not performance art like the studio shit, not that there’s much art or performing involved, but shit’s not real.

Either way, here’s Tera Patrick wearing more clothes than we’re used to seeing her disgusting ass in, eating more food than her fat back probably needs and rockin’ out with her pimp of a husband who probably feels like he won the lottery, but that’s just because he’s bald and Jewish and she’s good for business, and by business I mean managing her is his source of income…but I am sure they are in love….just look how he sticks his tongue out at her like she’s an ice cream cone if you don’t believe me…because everyone loves ice cream, especially my wife.


Related Posts:

Tera Patrick Last Halloween
Tera Patrick’s Showing Off Her Huge Rack
Tera Patrick Showing Off Her Tits

Posted in:cleavage|Halloween|Implants|Porn|Tera Patrick|Trash|Unsorted

2007

13

Sep

I am – Taryn Manning at the Airport of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I figured that since no one gives a shit about Taryn Manning and that she is the kind of famous person that is so famous no one’s ever heard of her, you know she is so famous that if she was spotted sitting next to you in a restaurant and you asked her to pass you the ketchup and she introduced herself as Taryn Manning, you’d still have no fucking idea who she was. That’s the fame that buys you a RAZR cellular that comes free with your cell phone contract and the kind of Fame that allows you to buy your poverty looking luggage at one of those bargain basement stores….and the kind of fame that allows you into Kid Rock’s home to borrow his pants.

The point is that I don’t think Taryn Manning is hot. She reminds me of an uneducated white trash mother who drinks, does meth and eats Kraft Dinner. But not the kind of uneducated white trash mother I like, you know the kind who dresses slutty and tries to sleep with everyone in the town because she’s lonely. Taryn Manning has that face of a girl who works the dinner or a factory or drives a truck or works for UPS and who doesn’t take shit from anyone. But rumor has it that people find her hot and despite those same people not realizing that they are gay cuz her name is manning and she looks like a man. I’ll still post the pics.


Related Posts:

Taryn Manning Bikini Pictures
Taryn Manning’s Bra
Taryn Manning Tube Top Bra

Posted in:Taryn Manning|Trash|Unsorted

2007

10

Aug

I am – Tara Reid as a Bikini Gypsy of the Day

My community college friend “Shanna” flaked out on me and our friend “StripTease,” who i call StripTease because she will flash you her rack within five minutes of meeting her. Basically Shana’s phone went directly to voice mail which means she was too drunk to charge her cell, dropped it down a toilet, and was choking on her own vomit somewhere. She is in deep shit either way.

StripTease and I gave up and got stoned in her Brooklyn apartment that is directly above a funeral parlor. I swore off weed 3 years ago, but i wanted to be somewhere else without having to drink my way there, and I’ll take what’s given to me. StripTease bought a Chanel purse for 20 bucks off a cokehead who was selling her shit for more coke. StripTease was excited about her new boyfriend’s big dick, but pretty pissed about having to bail her little sister out of jail for shoplifting lip-gloss from a pharmacy. I told her that if her sister wants to rebel properly, she should just start giving $10 blow-jobs off the West Side highway, and the rest will work itself out.

So this is a pretty boring post because i got fucked up instead of fucked last night. But on the train back into the city, a button-nosed little banker passed out and his head landed in my lap. I let the little fucker nuzzle up in my groin because that was about as much play as I had coming. I considered taking his laptop with me at my stop, but I prefer stealing from fat tourists.

Here is Tara Reid being a tourist in Italy, and rolling with a crew of gypsies. I would like to have been a gypsy back in their hey-day like 300 years ago. Riding around in a caravan from place to place, stealing shit, camping out, and drinking. In a way that’s what I did as a hooker, except I road on cocks instead of in Caravans. Have fun busting one to Tara Reid looking more like a Gypsy whore than a botched lypo experiment.

obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hookler, friend of Jesus)


Related Posts

I am – Tara Reid’s Old Man Ass of the Day
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I am – Tara Reid Almost Showing her Disgusting Vagina of the Day
GO

I am – Tara Reid in a Bikini of the Day
GO

I am – Tara Reid See Through of the Day
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Swimming|Tara Reid|Trash|Unsorted

2007

08

Aug

I am – Britney Spears Semi Upskirt of the Day

Britney Spears

Britney has pretty much been my daily source of entertainment for the last little while. I am never surprised as what she does yet wait eagerly for each new days news in regards to her to come my way, much like when you sit and stare out the window waiting for the mailman to bring your monthly issue of SPANK (except I don’t hide this perversion from my Mom like you do). The only problem is since nothing is surprising me, I’m starting to feel like it’s not so special anymore.

Remember when you first got the internet and would see a picture of somebody shitting on someone else and be all like “Ooooohhhhh whoa!!” Then gradually, it didn’t surprise you anymore right? Then it got to the point where you had been to rotten.com and all those other fucked up sites so many times that you would see a dead baby with its head blown off off being held up by its mother while she was being fucked by her son, and it was just like “Meh, big deal”

Me and Britney are kind of like you and those sites, It still interests me, but in the end I’ve seen it all before.

You can bet your ass I’m still gonna look though!!

hugs and kisses
Marie-eve Martinez


Related Posts

I am – Britney Spears Pillsbury Dough Ass of the Day
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I am – Britney Spears, Still Crazy of the Day
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I am – Britney Spears Tit in Public of the Day
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Posted in:Britney Spears|Trash|Unsorted|Upskirt