Uncategorized Archives - Page 79 of 421 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

18

Sep

Kelly Monaco Showing Off Some Tit of the Day

You should not get excited when seeing a girl who was a troll of a Playboy playmate 15 years ago, who was Carmen Electra’s body double on Baywatch, who is showing off her body because you saw her at her naked at her prime and she should pretty much be dead to you by now, but for some reason there’s always those assholes who have trouble letting go, who fell in love with her pictorial or life changing performances and who have waited all these years to see pictures of her in various appearances because they think she’s a goddess who is the only pussy that matters.

You see, even my neighbor, who is a 59 year old volunteer social worker / ex-prosititute has had fuckin stalkers, so don’t let shit get to your head Kelly Monaco, you know when people break into your apartment when you are in the other room and you decide to press charges instead of fuck them for being so devoted to you when no one else is because there are a lot of people in the world who just aren’t well, and the fact that they still get excited about your cleavage, does not mean you still have it goin’ on, it means they need help…And for the record, addressing this post to Kelly Monaco pretty much makes me feel like I’m not well.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Kelly Monaco|Tits|Uncategorized

2009

03

Sep

Stephanie Schönfeld in Some Foreign Film Nudity of the Day

6 Comments »

I still forget how old I am so when I hear a bitch who is born in 1978 is getting naked in a movie, I feel like some kind of pervert cuz she’s 8 years younger than me until I actually watch the shit and realize that she looks like a mom and not like a tight little teen girl I expected her to be, because I guess in my mind, I still think I am 22, only my body and vital organs think I’m fucking 60.

Either way her name is Stephanie Schönfeld and she’s 31 and naked in some foreign movie…..that I guess is about a 3-way relationship, and bi-sexuality something that has almost happened to me because my wife weighs as much as 2 people….but is definitely not as hot….

I’m disappointed, the fact that it is German made me expect it to be substantially more hardcore.

Posted in:Nude|Stephanie Schanfeld|Uncategorized

2009

01

Sep

Asia Argento in her Bikini on Vacation of the Day

4 Comments »

Here’s one of those weird girls in the back of your class who sits at home on weekends writing poems and shit, you know the kind of person with few to no friends who takes life way too fucking seriously and who is introverted, dark and kinda scary to be around because you are scared she is going to lose her shit and stab you in the fuckin neck. One of those artist types you expect to see doing weird nude live performances in a weird theater troupe, but what do I fuckin’ know, I’ve only heard of her a few times and that was cuz of her tits.
Her name is Asia Argento, she’s been naked in a few movies, she’s writen a few movies, he’s directed a few movies and she wears really stupid fuckin bathing suits, but at least she’s got hot tits.

Here she is naked and having sex in some French Movie….

Pics via INF

Here she is topless in some other movie…..

Here she is taking a bath….

Here she is in another sex scene

Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

24

Aug

Jennifer Tilly’s Tits in Leopard Print Bathing Suit of the Day

15 Comments »

Jennifer Tilly brought her sloppy lookin’ body out to the pool and all you fans of Jennifer Tilly’s tits should have been expecting this because 95% of the time a girl has retardedly big tits, the rest of her follows fuckin’ suit. At least she tried to be ironic by wearing an animal print, because she looks like she belongs in a fuckin’ barn and I feel like I am at the fuckin’ zoo watching a slob in its natural habitat, only next time she should go for the cowprint, to be a little more accurate.

I know some of you get excited about big tits, so I guess she deserves a post, even if her body really deserves a fuckin’ personal trainer and diet plan….

Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

21

Aug

stepLINKS of the Day

No Comments »

I am really disappointed with myself. I was just walking the dog drunk and came across some teenage party because the parents are out of town kinda situation you see in the movies and I didn’t try to crash it and steal all their beer and tell war stories to teach them my interpretation on the meaning of life…instead I just walked by it like a miserable loser….not that being the 40 year old in the teenage part is seen as being the cool guy amongst other 40 year olds. You know the 40 year olds with wifes and careers and kids and mortgages, but who cares about those assholes, when any dude with a dick knows being the 40 year old amongst 18 year old pussy is fuckin awesome….even though the 18 year old pussy I saw was pretty low quality….

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Here are my stepLINKS….I am amazed I can do these so well despite how wasted I am.

Because It’s Still Sex If You’re Doing It Alone, I Guess
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Ryan Jenkins Was On MegaN wANTS TO Marry a Millionaire and Now He’S Also Wanted for Murder!
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Fat Man Freak Out of the Day
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Playboy’s 10 Lamest Covers
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Maybe Arkham Asylum Will Reaffirm Batman and Elevate It From The Piece of Shit It Has Become
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Oh for Fuck Sakes Does Heidi Montage Have to Ruin Something Already So Incredibly Shitty?
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Kerry Katona Fat Ass Nipple Slip
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I Wanna Fuck Anna Wintours Dead Body
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8 Things That Will Definitely Happen During Your First Week of College
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Striptease of the Day
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Courtney Love is Insane And I Love It
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Kelly Brook and Her Big old tits
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Audrina Patridge is Almost See Through
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Frieda Pinto is in the New Woordy Allen Movie
I Wonder If It’s About a Middle Aged Man That Molests His Step Aughter, Divorces His Wife Then Marrys Her
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Zeba is Definitely Worth Banging
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Ughh Lady Gaga is Such a Cunt
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Naomi Campbell is Open Wide
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The Ultimate girls From Spike Gallery
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Meet Aria Argento
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And Now, The Worst Idea To Ever Come Out of the 80’s
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Karate Student Beats Up His Master
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That’s an Alist Fisting Right There
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Carol Made Me Thursday Better
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Miranda Kerr Swimsuit Calendar
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Godess Of Godesses: Hannah Hilton…
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Lindsay Lohan Looks Like a Glorious, Natural Beauty
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Victoria Silvstedt Topless Lingerie
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And The Blonde Goes Solo
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Oiled Up and in the Sun
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Ahy Hello Jessica White
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Electrified Chair Prank
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Come to Montreal and You May Just Meet These Girls
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Welcome to Route 36, The World’s First Cocaine Bar
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did You Know Twitter Never Deletes Tweets? Beyonces Cousin Sure As Hell Doesn’t
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Who Wants to Be a Youtubillionaire?
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This is How They Fuck in Japan
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This Movie About Shopping Carts Seems Kind of Awesome
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5 Videos To Prove That Spandex Is God’s Second Gift To Man
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Miley Was Born to Be a Money Making Whore
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Now THAT’S A Spectacular Ass!
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

17

Aug

Clever Teacher of the Day

1 Comment »

Before dropping out of highschool, I was always the first to call out a teacher for being a failure in life. When they’d mark my papers or tests and I did shitty, I’d turn to them and ask them what the fuck they know, because if they were so smart, they probably wouldn’t be teaching. It’s that whole “those who can’t, teach” bullshit. But I guess I was wrong and teachers are actually pretty fuckin’ clever, they are just perverts who like young girls and being in a position gives them something to jerk off to when they get home after work, and sometimes if they are lucky, they can take them across stateline to fuck the shit out of them where 16 is legal. So I finally found a teacher that has all taught us something we can all use.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

04

Aug

Pheobe Price in Her Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

You know when you see Phoebe Price rockin’ Ed Hardy that shit has been dead a few times over and I’m not talking about her vagina, even if the same logic can be applied to it. So that’s part of the reason why I am shocked whenever I see people wearing the shit, Ed Hardy, not her vagina, and it’s got to the point where most people I come across hate it too and the fact that I am even talking about Ed Hardy suckin’ is as tired as Phobe Price’s sloppy lookin’ body, the other part of the reason why I am shocked people rock the shit is because it is fuckin’ loud, obnoxious and ugly, I guess a lot like most clueless people who still wear it.

I am not sure what this publicity stunt is for, but based on her stomach it’s not an ad for Liposuction or eating disorders or any fitness class. It’s not even an ad for red pubic hair. It’s just some bitches with nothing better to do-doin’t it, even if bikinis are the last thing they should be doin’ it in….

Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

27

Jul

Jayde Nicole is Some Canadian Trash of the Day

4 Comments »

I saw Brody Jenner once. I think he was 5 foot 4. I walked by him at some event where he was surrounded by pussy throwing itself at him. I’m talking the party was 20 chicks for every dude, and although leaving alone, it would have been a great opportunity for dudes chicks actually wanna fuck, and not creepy old fucks who have no business at Brody Jenner parties. Anyway, this is the pussy he pretends is his only pussy, she’s some Playboy trash from Canada and when I say trash, I mean serious trash, like her single mom is a cocktail waitress and hooters or a stripclub so that she can afford the fake Chanel so people don’t realize they live in a fuckin’ trailer, who taught her daughter the value of of getting naked for money, and is now lovin’ all the perks that come with it, like now they can finally wear real Chanel, or some shit…and here is Brody Jenner missing a perfectly good opportunity to end all the trash and throw the cunt down the fuckin stairs “accidentally”, in hopes she Natasha Richardsons’ or Christopher Reeves’, leaving him free from the welfare headaches, but unfortunately that storyline isn’t written into the script for The Hills….

2009

23

Jul

The McCords are Taking Over Hollywood of the Day

11 Comments »

So this is how it goes down. This bitch Annalynn McCord is not quite ugly enough to not get herself a job in Hollywood, so she decides that she can’t do it alone, maybe even feels guilty that her sisters are too ugly to make the cut, so she tells them some shit like “don’t worry, I’ll bring you with me, and it’ll be like a perpetual slumber party of fame” you know, the shit they used to talk about growing up when they decided they were destined to be the pretty sisters everyone stares at, without realizing they aren’t fuckin’ pretty, and I assume the only attention they got was cuz they were skinny and long legged, in a fat America, but even that wasn’t enough for people to care and if they were staring they were probably trying to make sense of such a good body on such a bobble head, either way, now she carts them around like ugly fashion accessories, cuz family is meant to be together, and all is probably in efforts to get them work like they were the next Kardashians….I don’t understand the fame game, but girls like this give me confidence in how easy it must be to get there….

Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

22

Jul

Rachel McAdams Runs of the Day

2 Comments »

You know part of the fun when it comes to getting pussy is the chase, especially on those dark nights when running down alleys trying to keep up with a bitch who is screaming for her life who is way more athletic than you because this is a Yoga generation, before either catching up and having your way with her, or losin’ her forcing you to find another girl to chase. cuz shit’s like a sport that is made a lot less cardiovascularly straining with roofies…

Either way, here’s Rachel McAdams on set totally cockteasing you rapists out there….

Posted in:Uncategorized

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