Natalie Martinez is not my sister, but I’d sure fuck her like she was. Some PR chick sent this out to me going off about how she’s the next Megan Fox and I got excited thinking she’d be poor, Mexican and covered in mud willing to sit on my dick for exposure, but it turns out she’s not Mexican but some Cuban who’s parents didn’t sink on their raft over hear and I guess that’s a good thing because she’s worth a round, even if she’ll never actually be famous with a name like Martinez, seriously bitch, they’ve got it out for us.

Now let’s just hope this PR chick jumps on my dick for posting this smut not because I can’t find anything better out there but because I like doing other people’s jobs for them for free because I am a fucking asshole who doesn’t know how to earn a living like all these other people….and I’m not complaining….because tonight is our office Christmas party, it’ll be sad and lonely since I’m the only one who works here, but I am totally going to fuck the secretary, and by secretary I mean the first girl I can unexpectedly creep up on…because we can’t afford secretaries here…

Here’s an old photoshoot of her when she was working as the face of J-Lo’s creatively named brand, J-Lo

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Her name is Diana Igropoulou and she is an 18 year old Greek Model who won some Beauty Pageant last year. I am just posting it because Greek girls are genetically pre-disposed to take it up the ass and enjoy it, which is a lot better than American girls who make you date them, plea with them and promise to take them on vacation or buy them jewelery to make it happen, because anal is still seen as this big deal you don’t just give out on the first date, unless of course you’re Greek, because it’s so embedded in their culture that they teach you how to do it in High School sex ed. True story at least true according to me because the one Greek girl I had sex with, I just went straight for the ass and she didn’t resist, sure she wasn’t conscious at the time and probably to this day doesn’t know that she had me inside her, but it still counts to me.

These are some pictures of Diana Igropoulou in Max Magazine almost naked….

Here She is in a Bikini at Some Young Queen of the Universe Pageant Last Year That She Won…

Here’s a Video of Her Working Out and Shit in Greek

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I’ve been getting a lot of complaints about me posting 50 links a day in one massive post. People find it too much work, so I decided to split the shit up into two posts, because I am addicted to posting links. Now this doesn’t make any fucking difference because you’re still getting all the same fucking links, just split the fuck up for you to digest easier, you little fucking baby, but I guess shit’s all about making your fucking experience better or some shit, even though my site is still the most ghetto thing on the internet.

I don’t know how long this will last, but today is a test, look at the shit you make me do. Asshole.

I am working on names for this, morning dump came natural, because I am a drinker and waking up is always fun for my toilet, but maybe Morning Mudslide, Morning Hangover, Before Noon Poon are better. I don’t fucking know, but I do know here are the links.

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You know what pisses me off? The fact that I have spent my fair share of time hanging out on benches outside bikini and lingerie stores in various malls around the city for the last 20 years and for some reason everytime I spend a little too much time inside the store, playing a little too much with the bikini bottoms I know girls have freshly tried on, or even when I talk to the girls shopping and pretend I am a bikini designer or model scout lookin for inspiration while telling girls how amazing they look to get them to model shit for me, or when I just cheer at them to take it off, trying to give them that real Spring Break experience, or when I bust all my other smooth moves, and I’ve got a lot of them, I always get asked to leave. I even get asked to leave when I am just sitting outside the store on the bench eating popcorn, I get the same fucking abuse and I think I am officially banned from 4 stores and another 10 know to just ask me to back the fuck off if I spend too much time hanging around, and this paparazzi gets away with snapping off pictures of this bitch Audrina’s fake tits trying on her bikinis. I never even tried to bring a digital camera with me on my Bikini store journey and I guess that’s one more thing to add to the Life isn’t Fair list.

Another thing that pisses me off, that Audrina is shopping for bikinis for her Christmas vacation to some tropical place, where she will lay on the beach, drink and fuck in luxury, with money she made pretty much doing nothing, while I am buried in the fucking snow, with no money because that’s how most people who do nothing live. I guess that’s another thing to add to the Life isn’t Fair list.

Two Life isn’t Fair List Additions, what a productive Friday!!

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The paparazzi followed Mickey Rourke around the other night because, clearly no other celebrity was around or maybe because they mistook his botoxed face of that of a woman disguised as a man, but I don’t really know or care. What I do know is that last week Perez Hilton reported that Rourke was dating Evan Rachel Woods now that she’s broken up with Marilyn Manson, because I guess she has made it clear that she has no taste when it comes to the cock she lets in her, the only prerequisite is that it is 20 years older than her. Either way, Rourke said something like “Tell that faggot I will break his fucking legs” and I guess Rourke and the rest of the free world have something in common and that’s a hatred for the fat pink haired embarrassment to both the gay community and Hollywood….but the real issue for gay activists is that he used faggot as a derogatory term, when it’s meant to be something beautiful.

Now, let’s just hope Mickey Rourke gets away from admiring himself in the mirror and fighting the aging process by paying for surgery to keep his boyish good looks and mans the fuck up, but the fact that he’s a fuckin’ actor, pretty much guarantees that he’s a pussy. Real men work in construction and not in color coordinating their boots and practicing how to smoke tough to really convey his bad boy image that he created in his million dollar bathroom voting against gay marriage because the more freedom the gays have, the more inclined he’ll be to having to accept his homosexuality….sometimes it’s better to keep things swept under the mattress, or locked away in the closet…Yeah, I just said Mickey Rourke’s a gay…it’s kinda his fault, because real men don’t do botox, but men who want men inside them do…true story.

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Hayden Panettiere brought her short legs and big ass to the set of Heroes, I guess because it goes wherever she goes, you know, with it being part of her and all, and some of you will find it hot, because you are gay. She’s built like a football player, has legs of a speed skater, and a big head like a midget, but for some reason, guys everywhere love her. Maybe it’s the media attention that she gets, maybe you’re influenced by your gay friend, like I was that one time, that ended in humiliation and a hospital visit, who would have thought betting I could get more pool balls in my ass than him would have lead to such pain, I mean they went in so fuckin’ easily, and gravity was on my side, but yeah, that’s got nothing to do with Hayden Panettiere or your sexuality’s identity crisis, because she’s a little more dude than most of Hollywood, including a lot of the men, enjoy it while you can, because until pictures of her cock surface, you’re in the clear, sure I consider you on the fence, but who really cares what I think…..no one is the answer to that question in case you were wondering…

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Here’s some fluff to distract you from this “historical” bullshit day in the USA, because despite shit always being on the news, and this new generation of youth who didn’t vote 4 years ago, all of a sudden becoming political experts by educating themselves half-assed on the issues. I think it’s all fucking dull and voting is for losers, it’s played the fuck out and the cool thing to do is to not vote. I try to offer inspiration like Avril Lavigne’s Cannon Camera commercial offers me inspiration, sure I don’t have a Canon Rebel, but knowing that that’s how Avril Lavigne captures inspiration and how she reflects on an amazing experience and express her creativity, is enough reason to rob the old lady down the street’s credit card and buy myself one. Not that I am some kind of faggot who needs to capture inspiration, express creativity or reflect on amazing experiences, because I have alcohol for that.

I don’t really know why I am posting this and I don’t really get why Canon is attaching some suburban pop-tart to their product, but I do know that there are more….

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Here’s a documentary on Jay Z, because he’s one of the best rapppers out there. It sounds like it’s done by the same dude who did the whole Michael Jackson is a child rapist Neverland Ranch documentary that hit a few years ago, but I’m just saying that because all British people sound the same and I figure only one of them cares enough about black peole to bother doing a documentary on them, the rest of the British people are drinking beer, sipping tea, grey skinned, chimney cleaners or the Royal Family and neither know that black people exist.

I am posting this because he’s banging Rihanna and Beyonce and is touring with DJ AM, who’s on fire now, or at least he was a couple weeks ago, and because I can’t find good smut to post, but will keep on keepin’ on lookin for it.

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Superhead is some whore that rappers and basketball players pass around like a joint. They just can’t figure out what the hell is going on in her mouth to make her give these life changing blowjobs and she’s openly written about her experiences with a variety of famous people.

The one relationship I do remember her being in was with Bill Mahr, the dude from Politically Incorrect, who used to treat her like a piece of shit slut everytime they got it on and he insisted on degrading her by calling her a nigger whore when they would be together and she put up with it, so I guess she’s the perfect girl. You know, no self respect, great blowjobs and as long as you have money or status she doesn’t say no.

This video is of her asking for the 1000 dollars someone owes her and I thought it was funny, because going to the internet asking for 1000 dollars is pretty fucking desperate for someone who’s pretty well known in certain circles, but I guess when you’re a money grubbing whore who spent her last 50 bucks on her weave, 1000 dollars is a lot of money, just think of all the fried chicken that shit could buy…..yeah, bad joke, I know, you don’t have to remind me.

Here she is in a sex tape. This may not be her, I mean I can’t really tell if it is or not, I am not good at identifying people and this shit went down 5 years ago, so this could be her in a sex tape with Mr Marcus, you decide….Warning….NSFW (or pretty much anything, especially racist people’s masturbation practices)

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