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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

23

Aug

I am – Anna Faris' Short Shorts of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Anna Faris showing off the apples of her bottom. This is one of my favorite trends in the last few years, because short shorts not only expose vagina definition, but because seeing ass cheeks reminds me of the 70s and those were the good years. The funny thing is that girls of all ages are rockin’ this and the other day I saw a mother daughter short short duo and shit was better than any porn I have seen.

Either way, this bitch has a long list of D-List credits, so I don’t really know who she is. The reality of the entertainment industry is that D-List celebs have it fucking made. They aren’t the center of attention so they can live semi-normal lives with more money than the average asshole in the world and they don’t have to take themselves too seriously because the movies they are in are shit no one will watch expecting an academy award nomination. If some of these girls weren’t D-Listed they’d be strippers.

The funny thing about strippers is that they think they are celebrities. They walk around the club like they are important and like I should be too scared to ask them for a lap dance even though we pay them to get naked and I see them as my employee since I am paying her and last I checked when you paid someone for their time, they were working for you. The funnier thing about strippers is that they actually think they are professional dancers because I know dance and I know that shit wouldn’t fly at my contemporary dance class….I mean, I like tits.

I am not in a contemporary dance class asshole, I was just at a bar the other day and 5 strippers were stripper dancing in the corner like they were Britney Spears and this was her big comeback performance, but they looked like assholes because they were in clothes and there was no pole, but you couldn’t tell them that they were disasters because they insisted dancing was their job…I corrected them by saying getting naked was their job, then 4 big muscle dudes asked me to back off. Motherfuckers.


Related Posts:

Anna Farris in Her Underwear on Set
Mila Kunis Wears Shorts
Carrie Underwood Wears Shorts

Posted in:Anna Faris|Apples|Ass|Short Shorts|Shorts|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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Jesus gave me one of the many rubber vaginas he got over the last little while, in hopes that I would give it to a boyfriend of mine and get him to fuck it on camera for the site. Fat ass is still having trouble getting it up, and since we live in fucking poverty, he can’t afford Viagra to aid his little situation. I took it out of the box and got seriously freaked the fuck out over how realistic the thing is and feels from the outside, especially if it was covered in lube.

That being said, since I know you aren’t getting laid anyways, I suggest you go out and pick one up tomorrow, cause you and I both know one of those things is the closest thing you will be getting to pussy for a long time.

Click these links in the meantime.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


The Rad Girls do some pregnant pranks because they are awesome
GO

Foxy Brown is going to jail
GO

Some Hot Chick Named Kristina’s Home Movie Of Her Making Out With Herself
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Sexy Shoot with former CNN anchor and On the Lot host Addriana Cost
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I frikken LOVE Bill Murray
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Christopher Walken is the jam
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The Biggest Asshole Ever. Literally
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Its tough to out-gay the village the Village People, but these Finnish guys come close
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Bear Grylls is a phony
GO

Retard playing with Lion gets what he deserves
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Brittney Skyes Internal Affairs
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Kat Von D is tasty
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Hilary Duff lets you see up her shorts
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Christina Aguilera looking more pregnant by the day
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More Pete Doherty crack head drama
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I’m with stupid
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More Shitney Spears drama
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Basketball player doesn’t like Ref’s call and deals him quite the blow
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Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have separate bedrooms
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I hate BMX riders.
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Topless Carwash
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The glory that is Davd Hasselhoff
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Here’s the guy who edits the crappy magazine the hipsters all love called NYLON
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Do You Know What Your Daughter is Up To – On Photobucket…?
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Some Chick Named Gabriella Nude in Public Action
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Andrea Tiede interviewed Maxim “Hometown Hotties” Kerry Suseck and Amber Lancaster on the red carpet and it’s hot…
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Man Gets Eating by a Bear at the Beer Fest When He Tried to Fight It
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Sluts in Leather Partying
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Some Girl’s Selling Cosets…
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Some Julia Stiles Is Not Hot Pictures
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Beast of a Woman Bends a Frying Pan
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Some Girl Working Out’s Intentional Upskirt
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Kate Beckinsale Lookin’ Glamorous
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Ginger Spice and Her Baby
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Some Hot Naked Redhead
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Jenna Jameson Got Rid of Her Implants
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The Pole Dance Lesson…VIDEO
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Britney Has Finally Pulled Herself Back Together
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Some Girl and Her Digital Camera
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Now THIS is my kind of weddding
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Tabitha Taylor has stars in her eyes as the girl next door
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A Prinze among men in this angry animation
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This guy wins creep of the week
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Racy video game covers
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Dave Navarro’s porn debut
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A whole lotta ugly tits
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Some Slut Named Lauren Jones is on some Show Called Anchorwoman Tonight
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Use This Spray Because I Know You’re Not Getting Any Not Using the Spray So You Might As Well Try New Things that can Help…Even If You’re Too Lame to Help….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Asian Rapper of the Day

I love seeing rich idiot Asian kids that are into hip hop and are thugged out like Lil’ Wayne and T.I, with gold fronts and chains down to their balls. It’s even better when they do so while singing along to Asian pop hits at karaoke, which completely throws any street crd they think the earn by the way they dress completely out the window. Sometimes I wish that North America actually was the ridiculous stereotype that they make it out to be, I think it would be a hell of a lot more fun.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Hayden Panettiere With a Dirty Old Man of the Day

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Here are some pictures of recently turned 18 Hayden Panettiere with some dirty old man, unfortunately this isn’t as creepy as it was 2 days ago, because it is legal but it still made me laugh and since I am not a laugher, that’s a pretty big deal to me so here they are….

Having a site called DrunkenStepfather is pretty much a good way to attract both perverted pedophile types as well as the people who are trying to stop perverted pedophiles from being aggressors on the internet.

In the beginning I used to play on it and talk about how I want to bang my stepdaughter and how I make them show me their tits and walk around in their panties and shit. I’d link to their friend’s youtube videos of them dancing erotically and to photobucket galleries and shit all in efforts of fucking with people.

I ended up stopping when I got paranoid that the FBI were parked in a Van outside my house because they don’t have the same kind of sense of humor as I do about that kind of shit. I guess it’s because I’ve never had to deal with parents or kids who have been abducted by Internet predators. So I realized that it’s not as funny as I originally thought it was especially since I don’t want to go to jail because I don’t really know the laws and could probably get taken down for a joke that went too far and because I am not really into the whole kiddie porn scene at all, so why do the time for a crime I am not guilty of….

That said I got this email yesterday and I am convinced that it is the predator watch trying to trap me and bring me down because this kind of shit has NEVER happened to me before.

can people send in pictures of themselves?
and how old would they have to be?
thanks =]

So I answered:

What kind of pictures are you talking about?

Anything sexual in nature you gotta be 18.

Anything funny in nature you gotta be any age.

The site is aimed at an 18+ audience….

What are you thinking about sending my way?

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

And She Wrote:

I recently discovered that I like how my boobs look in pictures haha
thats what I would have sent- topless pictures
but I wont be seventeen for 8 days
its a shame, theyre nice haha

So as awesome as this is in theory, I am obviously not interested in landing these pics because I am not a criminal, but I do want any above 18 year old girls out there to take this girls lead because I love tits and by default I love pictures of tits….so send them in, stop being such a fucking prude….

Related Posts:
Hayden Panettiere Gets a Ticket
Hayden Panettiere Short Shorts
Hayden Panettiere Eating
Hayden Panettiere Picking Her Wedgie and Licking It
Hayden Panettiere Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Dirty Old Man|Hayden Panettiere|Hugging|Legal|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Lorie Louhglin is a Soccer Mom Prude of the Day

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My best friend Anna is going through a hard time right now because her parents are getting divorced. Personally I saw it coming. Her father is one of those forty year old good looking men like George Clooney who is a musician, loads of fun and likes to party while her mom on the other hand is a boring housewife who works some average professional job and has a body shaped like a pear. I’m guessing when he met her she was young, hot and easy, and now has slipped into the marriage trap of dinner parties with friends and no sex.

So the natural course of events took place and one day when the wife was supposed to be out, he had a ‘lady friend’ come over. He was fucking the shit out of her in the kitchen, with her bent over their island in the middle of the room, and him getting her from behind. What he didn’t know was his wife walked in through the back entrance and was standing behind them for about five minutes, while he pounded away at the whore. They only realized when they went to change positions and when the chick sat up on the counter to take it from the front, she screamed.

Now, if this were the porn movies you hide under you bed so your Mom doesn’t find them, this is part where the wife and the whore would start making out with each other and rubbing their tits on one another, and then simultaneously go down on the guy and would turn into a full on threesome. But it’s not, and it didn’t and instead the story ends with the whore running out of the house naked to her waiting driver and the husband getting hit over the head with a frying pan. Needless to say, they filed for divorce shortly there after and a pimp paid a visit to their house that night to collect for the money that was still due, regardless of the circumstances.

Here’s Lorie Loughlin. She played Uncle Jessie’s boring wife Rebecca in Full House (that shitty show the Olsen Twins were on) Rebecca kind of reminds me of my friends Mom, not because they look alike, but because like my friends Mom, boring old Rebecca never would have rubbed her tits on anyone, probably never fucked Uncle Jessie, and would have eventually walked in on him banging a whore in that nice kitchen of theirs, had the show not been cancelled first. Now THAT would have made for a series finale.

She looks hot in these pics tho, so you can fantasize that she is instead a bi-sexual minx waiting to please you in every way you wish, and that you aren’t in fact a loser virgin living in your Mom’s basement.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


Related Posts:
Cindy Crawford is a Hot Milf
Olsen Twins See Through Shirt
Jodie Sweetin Big Ol’ Meth Titties
Ashley Olsen’s See Through Skirt

Posted in:Lorie Loughlin|Milf|Prude|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Beyonce Tit Flash on Stage of the Day

Here’s a video of Beyonce performing. Her dress somehow flies up and you can see her tit for a split fucking second and the only reason I know this is because someone emailed it to me. I watched the video 5 times and didn’t see the tit but then again my brain works a little slower than a computer programming loser who spent the last 4 hours playing it over and over to get the perfect frame so that he can bust nut to it. I assume that computer programmer was you and that this is old news so that I can move on in about a minute to try to find things to post with a little more substance than this, or at least shit that you can actually make out the nipple in, because if you’re going to post tit slips, you might as well post tit slips people can actually see, not some kind of video that you need to speak binary code to decipher…

Posted in:Beyonce|Concert|flash|Tit|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Jessica Simpson and Her True Calling of the Day

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Shortly after I turned 18 this year, one of my many boyfriends convinced me to do a porn with him. I was really broke at the time from running up my new credit card and needed the money and figured what the hell you know? He had hooked up with some porn producer in Montreal who was offering good money to couples willing to fuck on camera and given the fact that we a) fucked all the time anyways and b) were both pretty broke, jumped at the chance. I’ll try anything once.

Anyways, there was a point where he was standing up and I was down on my knees, in my panties with no bra, giving him a blow job for the camera. The director made us stop and told my boyfriend that he needed to talk more. My boyfriend (who was usually quite vocal in bed) didn’t seem to want to talk much but they thought we were hot together and liked what they saw. He didn’t have a problem calling me a whore in private, but for some reason in front of others, the cat had his tongue, so to speak.

So the director decided to do it for him and gets right up behind him, while I’m still going down on him ferociously with the camera pointed on me so they don’t give away that my boyfriend wasn’t the one talking and some french director has his head on my boyfriend’s shoulder giving the usual porn dialog you would come to expect like ‘Suck that cock you dirty slut, you like that you dirty whore.’ etc, but he has this really thick French accent that made him sound like Pepe Le Pew from the old Looney Toon cartoons. So I’m there on my knees, looking at my boyfriend who is borderline laughing his ass off and this French porn director pretending to be his voice but I’m trying to keep a straight face with a cock in my mouth cause the camera is zoomed in on me and me only.

Thankfully he busted his load rather quick, they called the end of the scene, and I ran into the restroom and laughed hysterically for five minutes. That was my first and last foray into the world of porn. Now I save being a slut for behind closed doors and dirty bathrooms in bars for the most part.

Jessica Simpson needs to realize however, that sometimes your calling is just chosen for you. You can try to go into other areas of work, but when destiny has it’s path laid out in front of you, you can’t fuck with it. All the cards are right there on the table, you just got to accept it and roll with it.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


Related Posts:

Jessica Simpson’s Cleavage
Jessica Simpson Rock Solid
Jessica Simpson Side TIt
Jessica Simpson Christmas Cameltoe of the Day

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Porn|Slut|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Courtney Cox Bikini Bottoms of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Courtney Cox trying to reclaim her youth by surfing and pretty much only embarrassing herself. I guess the one positive thing you can say about her, other than the fact that she’s got an old lady mom ass, because she’s an old lady and I am so over hot tight teen booty, is that she’s not being a cunt about things by paddle surfing like her best friend ever Jennifer Aniston, because she realizes that that shit is so fucking homo that I am considering changing my DJ AM is gayer than bicycle shorts line to DJ AM is gayer than paddle-surfing, but you don’t care about that.

What you do care about is this girl I once dated for about 8 weeks. She was pretty fucking hot by my standards, which means that she had at least one leg, one arm, one eye and one tooth, but that’s no the point…We hooked up drunk for about a week but she’d always stop me at the panties. I felt like I was 14 again and bitch was pulling the panty-rule on me which at first was kind of exciting because I made a point of breaking down that cotton wall, and put more effort into getting her horny enough to give in. I will admit that I found it weird for a 50 year old broad to be pulling this shit on me but it doesn’t matter, after a week of not breaking through, I got mad and wanted to fuck her saggy old lady ass and she said it was because she got her period.

Now the main reason I was banging this grandma was because I figured she was dried up and unable to get knocked up, unable to get her period which suited my needs when I was 24 of no baby and constant sex as long as I had a tube of KY next to the bed, but she dropped the fucking period line, something I never thought I’d have to deal with with her….

Now for the 8 weeks we were “seeing each other”, I never got up in her because she always had a tampon in her, and I never pulled it out to see if it was actually used. So either this bitch had a serious gynecological problem and was bleeding for 8 weeks, or she was a total mental case who had some weird OCD about keeping tampons in her or the most likely case it was her way of keeping me the fuck out….and it worked.

I wish I could say the same for Courtney Cox, but the way she’s lookin’ at me in these pictures, I know she wants me…

Related Posts:
Jennifer Aniston Bikini
Courtney Cox’s Bra
Courtney Cox Nipple
Courtney Cox Bikini

Posted in:Bikini|Courtney Cox|Surfing|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Tara Reid Bikini Pictures of the Day

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The pictures on this site get repetitive because the same sluts go out in their bikinis over and over again and since I have no interest in posting shit like sluts at press conferences or sluts on the red carpet unless there’s a nip slip or vagina slips in them, then I am forced to hit back the standard played out Tara Reid in a Bikini action, but at least the site I ripped them off of says their new….and we all know that seeing a bitch in a new bikini is like a whole new fucking experience because we know they can afford to buy more than one….

I remember spending my summer on some beach town working some shitty kitchen of some nasty fucking seafood restaurant and I ended up falling in love, or at least in as much love as I could really be with a pretty unattractive girl that was letting me bang her 3 times a day, but for the sake of argument she was my girlfriend and she was ugly but I told her I loved her because it was the only way to get her to do anal in the morning..or when she was on her rag.

I rode out the relationship, because it was easy, but I couldn’t get over the fact that she always wore the same fucking suit, day after day, and when I got a little fucking grossed out by her never washing her same bathing suit, that she wore 7 days a week for about a month, she claimed that swimming in the Ocean was better sterilization than a fucking washing machine…

Now we weren’t actually at the ocean, but I knew she was kinda slow, she claimed it was a learning disability, but I think it was because her parents were first cousins, because we were at some shitty polluted lake and her fucking suit smelled like dead fish, sewage and gasoline. By week 6 of this, I was starting to lose my fucking mind, it was all I could smell even when she wasn’t around, so I woke up while she was still sleeping, grabbed the bathing suit of death, looked at it before throwing it into the sink with some detergent because at this point the whole place fucking stank of this shit, and noticed that there was a massive battery stain and hole in her crotch and that the dirty bathing suit wasn’t what was causing the smell, the lake wasn’t what was causing the smell, the girl I had been banging was only I had been too drunk to realize it for the first month and a half because I never went down on her….I suddenly realized why people were constantly giving me dirty looks whenever I was with her, and Tara Reid reminds me of that dirty whore and not because she hangs with fat dudes but because she looks like if she wasn’t so rich, she’d probably have a stinky box…so here are her bikini pics…


Related Posts:

Tara Reid Bikini Gypsy
Tara Reid Old Man Ass in a Bikini
Tara Reid Bikini Pictures of the Day

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Drunk|Tara Reid|Tits|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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So I feel like my brain was a big bowl of Oatmeal today, not because I have changed my diet to live longer by eating healthy, but because I couldn’t tap into my brain and figure out a way to tap into my memory and tell good stories of shit I’ve seen. It’s called being uninspired so I decided that I need to get into making porn and my challenge for the next 2 days is to find out how to break out in the porn scene. I’d obviously not be in front of the camera, because fat dude with limp dick porn hasn’t hit too hard yet, but I will find something that pays the bills without me having to get off the couch and that something will be sexy times….I came up with this crazy concept that would have innovated porn earlier today, in my quest to find my porno answer to my problems, but I can’t remember it, so I guess that’s dream’s over and I am stuck to this site…..

so here are my links….

Charlotte Church Using Being Pregnant as an Excuse to Get Fat as Fuck
GO

Salma Hayek is Still Pregnant and HUGE
GO

Woman Crushes a Can With Her Ass
GO

Some Slut Named Louise Cliffe Posing Topless in Zoo
GO

Lindsay Lohan is Hiking
GO

K-Fed is Partying as Hard as Britney
GO

Digital Dolls are a Group of Girls in Underwear on Video
GO

Some Chick Modeling Naked is an LA Woman
GO

Some Kim Kardashian’s Crazy Ass Pic
GO

Some Crazy Boxing Knockout
GO

Some Chick Named Victoria Hervey Posing Pictures
GO

Jenna Jameson tells TMZ that She’s Healthy and Happy in Video
GO

Some Zoo Superbabes in Ibiza Video
GO

Hayden Panettiere is 18 with Flowers
GO

Hayden Panettiere is 18 in a Bikini Before She Was 18
GO

Rihanna Performing at MTV Awards
GO

Sam Heuston Panty Upskirt
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Public Access TV is Amazing
GO

The Worlds Best …..Woman to Man….Sex Change
GO

Pam Anderson and Her Wet Thong….Pictures
GO

Rabecca- Running on a dream…is a Girl Next Door Posing
GO

Gisele Posing in Max Magazine
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Janice Dickinson Protests PETA with her Modeling Agency in their Underwear
GO

Some Chick Named Alexa Vega on the Beach Not Naked Enough
GO

Why You Shouldn’t Rob a Bitch Twice Your Size
GO

Crazy Russian Lady Has 130 Cats
GO

Natasha Henstridge Sex Scene Video
GO

Some Chick Naked in Public
GO

Lohan’s Boyfriend is a Vampire and Bites Up Some Stripper
GO

Some Chick Showing Off Her Ass in the Pool
GO

Photobucket Chick Shows Off Her Bare TIts
GO

Some Girl Losing Her Shirt Prank
GO

Kid Staples Firecracker on Him Then Lights It…
GO

James Blunt on Sesame Street
GO

The Evolution of Tara Reid Becoming a Human Again…
GO

Dude Gets a Little Crazy With His Digicam
GO

Angelina Jolie Nude In Beowulf
GO

Some Chick Takes Off Her Pants for the TotallyCrap Contest
GO

Some Stupid Video
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Paris HIlton Shows Off Her Acting Skills in Some Movie
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Some Muscle Chick Exercises and Flashes Her TIts
GO

Sperm Bank Magazine Ad Worth Checking Out..
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Mariah Carey Naked on the Cover of Interview Magazine
GO

Complilation of Brother’s and Sisters Hooking Up in Mainstream Movies…
GO

Hairy the Dancing Pubic Hair Videos Makes No Sense to Me
GO

Some Music Video With Girls Dancing Around in Underwear
GO

Teri Hatcher Does a Lap Dance on Howard Stern
GO

Behind the Scenes at a Lesbian Porn Shoot…Check Out the Fat Boom Mic Operator Who Went to School for This and It’s the Only Work He Could Get but at Least his Friends are all Jealous of His Job…If He Has Friends…
GO

Cowgirls Riding the Horse Bareback….
GO

Some Chick Named Patricia Painting Nude
GO

Maria Sharapova is Ice Cold Between the Sheets
GO

UFO Flying Over Paris….
GO

Some Statue Boobies Video For You
GO

Hot Chicks Get Tasered in Their Underwear
GO

Naked Lawnmower Man
GO

Zoo Watch the Video of GIrls in Bikinis Running Around on the Beach
GO

This Spray Will Get You Laid
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted