Unsorted Archives - Page 89 of 511 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

21

Aug

I am – Cameron Diaz's Ass and Legs of the Day

I always rip into this bitch for being old and washed up and left in the trash by Justin Timberlake for new younger and fresher pussy, but then I realized that Justin was into dudes like Jessica Biel and that he left Cameron Diaz because she didn’t have a cock and couldn’t fully satisfy his needs as the man with the high pitched singing voice and great dancing skills….

I never took the time to take a cold hard look at Cameron Diaz to realize that her legs are fucking amazing and that is why I am doing this post as a celebration of finding something you never thought was there. This is the equivalent of finding a 20 dollar bill in a pair of Jeans you haven’t put on in a year….and makes for a good end to the day….

Related Posts:

Cameron Diaz in a Bikini
Young Cameron Diaz Topless
Cameron Diaz Bikini Pics
Cameron Diaz’s Ass in a Bikini

Posted in:Ass|Cameron Diaz|Hot|Legs|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Cameron Diaz’s Ass and Legs of the Day

2 Comments »

I always rip into this bitch for being old and washed up and left in the trash by Justin Timberlake for new younger and fresher pussy, but then I realized that Justin was into dudes like Jessica Biel and that he left Cameron Diaz because she didn’t have a cock and couldn’t fully satisfy his needs as the man with the high pitched singing voice and great dancing skills….

I never took the time to take a cold hard look at Cameron Diaz to realize that her legs are fucking amazing and that is why I am doing this post as a celebration of finding something you never thought was there. This is the equivalent of finding a 20 dollar bill in a pair of Jeans you haven’t put on in a year….and makes for a good end to the day….

Related Posts:

Cameron Diaz in a Bikini
Young Cameron Diaz Topless
Cameron Diaz Bikini Pics
Cameron Diaz’s Ass in a Bikini

Posted in:Ass|Cameron Diaz|Hot|Legs|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Daveigh Chase Bikini Pics of the Day

2 Comments »

This girl is some child star who was in nothing you’d ever care to see and has credits like the movie AI: Artificial Intelligence, but her scenes were deleted. She’s also the voice of Lilo from Lilo and Stitch, which may be something you’re more familiar with since you use it as a back-up pick-up line when the little girls in the park refuse to go to your van to pet your puppy…Either way, she’s in a bikini with some asshole with stupid hair.

I went to the park today for the first time since getting back, I hadn’t really missed it all that much, because being around freakshow losers is only fun when I am in the mood to laugh at people and not on sensitive days like today where I kinda feel sorry for people. Anyway, nothing changed over the last month except for this one dude Billy who is pretty much a waste of space, addicted to drugs and on welfare. Anyway, everytime I see Billy he looks like he’s aged 5 years and at this rate dude is going to look 90 by the end of next year….and he has inspired me to go out and get a job…

Before I do that, I borrowed my friend’s Stick It DVD and it isn’t what dreams are made of like I thought it would be….but I will watch it over and over again until I get my act together and get a job, which may be sometime next year….

Related Posts:

Caroline D’Amore Bikini Pics
Michelle Rodriguez Bikini
Caleigh Peters Bikini Pics
Ashley Scott Bikini Pics

Posted in:Bikini|Daveigh Chase|Tits|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – China Dancer of the Day

1 Comment »

To make up for my last stepTV clip of what seemed like a girl dancing with a snake but was really some ladyboy with fake tits, I decided to post this video of real girl at the same club dancing pretty much the same way but without a snake to balance the homosexuality on this site out a little.

I just got in an email war with some asshole who I was trying to get to advertise on the site because I am tired of being so poor. He told me that he didn’t need to advertise with me because he’s a huge site and my piece of shit site won’t do anything for him but cost him money and that he’d rather flush money down the toilet than give it to me because he would find that more gratifying….that’s how successful motherfucker says he is. So I wrote him back calling him a cocksucker at least 15 times because I find calling people a cocksucker funny and he wrote me back saying that anyone who uses the word cocksucker as much as I do must be a fag….My response is that i wanted to feel him inside me, because if you call me gay, I have no problem acting the part even though I am into pussy, doesn’t mean I can’t pretend I am fag…kinda the same thing as when you pretend that you’re straight even though you jerk off to gay porn all the time…but a little different because I actually like girls and don’t have to pretend I do…

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Caroline D'Amore Bikini Cameltoe of the Day

No Comments »

This is another one of Paris Hilton’s guests at her weekend beach party. Her name is Caroline D’Amore, her parents own a pizza restaurant and she is 23 years old. I did my research on her because she looks like she’s fucking 12 and even if that shit turns you on, I don’t want to go to jail for being a child pornographer because I hear they cut you in prison for that shit, and I don’t find that shit too sexy, I am more on the parents against pedophiles side of the argument you boylover.

Reality is that I always loved those teen models who were in their 20s but pretended they were teens to get people like you off. It reminded me of Peter Pan and this girl I used to bang who was 10 years older than me but looked 10 years younger than me. I guess she was the runt of the litter or someshit, and when she was in highschool and looked 7 no one wanted a piece, but when she was 27 and looked 17 the tables fucking turned proper. That’s the problem with over-developed teen girls, they all end up getting fat when the skinny awkward ones fill out the way they’re supposed to.

Either way, I used to look at their sites because I had nothing better to do and the alternative was looking at haggard sluts with their uterus’ hanging out of their cunts so innocent and fresh was more of a fantasy than old and washed up because you always want what you don’t have.

I guess what I am getting at is that when they are 23, they are fair game and when they have their boyfriend’s name tattooed next to their cunt, they are stupid enough to end up with a guy like you, so keep the faith motherfucker…

Related Posts:

Mena Suvari Bikini Pictures

2007

21

Aug

I am – Caroline D’Amore Bikini Cameltoe of the Day

3 Comments »

This is another one of Paris Hilton’s guests at her weekend beach party. Her name is Caroline D’Amore, her parents own a pizza restaurant and she is 23 years old. I did my research on her because she looks like she’s fucking 12 and even if that shit turns you on, I don’t want to go to jail for being a child pornographer because I hear they cut you in prison for that shit, and I don’t find that shit too sexy, I am more on the parents against pedophiles side of the argument you boylover.

Reality is that I always loved those teen models who were in their 20s but pretended they were teens to get people like you off. It reminded me of Peter Pan and this girl I used to bang who was 10 years older than me but looked 10 years younger than me. I guess she was the runt of the litter or someshit, and when she was in highschool and looked 7 no one wanted a piece, but when she was 27 and looked 17 the tables fucking turned proper. That’s the problem with over-developed teen girls, they all end up getting fat when the skinny awkward ones fill out the way they’re supposed to.

Either way, I used to look at their sites because I had nothing better to do and the alternative was looking at haggard sluts with their uterus’ hanging out of their cunts so innocent and fresh was more of a fantasy than old and washed up because you always want what you don’t have.

I guess what I am getting at is that when they are 23, they are fair game and when they have their boyfriend’s name tattooed next to their cunt, they are stupid enough to end up with a guy like you, so keep the faith motherfucker…

Related Posts:

Mena Suvari Bikini Pictures

2007

21

Aug

I am – Sienna Miller Topless Beach of the Day

No Comments »

I just got back from having lunch with a group of highschool girls because that’s what I do for fun. They were telling me all about their sexual adventures and I was blaming the growth hormones in the milk for their naughtiness.

Either way, I got home and feel like I am dying, but came across these Sienna Miller topless beach pictures and figured I’d post them because you’re more into pictures of topless girls you’ve seen topless at least 20 times more than you care about horny teens and their sexcapades….

Related Posts:

Sienna Miller’s Nipples on the Set
Sienna Miller Nipple Slip
Sienna Miller 17 Modeling
Sienna Topless and Vagina Definition

Posted in:Beach|Sienna Miller|Topless|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Mena Suvari Joggin' in a Sports Bra of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari and her lesbian haircut jogging in some kind of sportsbra showing off her little tits and a pair of tight pants showing off her ass, but you don’t need me to tell you that, you have eyes and can see the pictures yourself so fuck off.

The most interesting thing about these pictures are her gangster stance, with her one legged rolled up but I don’t even know if people dress like that anymore becuase I haven’t been to the suburbs in a long time. The suburbs give me anxiety, the only thing to find there are some twilight-zone style houses that all look the fucking same, happy on the outside families that have their dirty little secrets of the wife fucking the tennis coach or the husband fucking the neighbors wife or the babysitter in attempts to add some kind of excitement to their boring lives, and a bunch of punk kids dressed like 50 cent, mugging old ladies to be gangster and tagging up the schoolyard like they lived in some big city and were hip hop…these are the motherfuckers who get girls teenage pregnant, they do acid to kill the boredom and as interesting as that sounds, I don’t step foot in the place….so saying Mena Suvari is a lesbian gangsta may not be accurate but to say she’s got a lesbian haircut and is built like a fucking tank isn’t….

Related Posts:
Mena Suvari Showing Her Ass Off
Mena Suvari in a Bikini
Mena Suvari in a Bikini Again
Mena Suvari in a Bikini Top

2007

21

Aug

I am – Mena Suvari Joggin’ in a Sports Bra of the Day

9 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari and her lesbian haircut jogging in some kind of sportsbra showing off her little tits and a pair of tight pants showing off her ass, but you don’t need me to tell you that, you have eyes and can see the pictures yourself so fuck off.

The most interesting thing about these pictures are her gangster stance, with her one legged rolled up but I don’t even know if people dress like that anymore becuase I haven’t been to the suburbs in a long time. The suburbs give me anxiety, the only thing to find there are some twilight-zone style houses that all look the fucking same, happy on the outside families that have their dirty little secrets of the wife fucking the tennis coach or the husband fucking the neighbors wife or the babysitter in attempts to add some kind of excitement to their boring lives, and a bunch of punk kids dressed like 50 cent, mugging old ladies to be gangster and tagging up the schoolyard like they lived in some big city and were hip hop…these are the motherfuckers who get girls teenage pregnant, they do acid to kill the boredom and as interesting as that sounds, I don’t step foot in the place….so saying Mena Suvari is a lesbian gangsta may not be accurate but to say she’s got a lesbian haircut and is built like a fucking tank isn’t….

Related Posts:
Mena Suvari Showing Her Ass Off
Mena Suvari in a Bikini
Mena Suvari in a Bikini Again
Mena Suvari in a Bikini Top

2007

21

Aug

I am – Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures of the Day

4 Comments »

I was told yesterday that I write too much. I don’t think I do. I just tell stories when they come to me and I don’t tell stories when they don’t come to me. If you don’t want to read the post then you don’t have, no one really does but emailing me telling me to write a shitty paragraph on the person I am posting about, when I don’t give a fuck about the person I am posting about in the first place is not really my thing, but I decided to try out a couple of one paragraph potential posts for these Jennifer Aniston in a bikini top paddle surfing like the useless cunt that she is….as an exercise in making your experience on this site that much better, if that is even possible…and this is me accommodating….

One Paragraph Post #1

Jennifer Who?Niston….I haven’t heard this name since her famous heartthrob husband left her for a hollywood bad girl. Well here she is trying to reclaim some of her fame and to remind some of her fans from the Friends-era that she’s still got tits by getting into her bikini. And we’re not complaining. I can only assume that her fit older-lady body stops at her ass and isn’t 100 percent where it should be because otherwise she wouldn’t have ruined this experience with those stupid shorts….

One Paragraph Post #2

Jennifer Aniston was out in Hawaii with her only friends, Courtney Cox and David Arquette and she decided to try out the gayest fucking sport since DJ AM called paddle surfing. Shit’s like wheelchair basketball or blind person dodgeball or some other modified sports for people with disabilities, only the disability that people who paddlesurf have is thinking that they are Huckleberry Finn. I guess all that doesn’t matter because Aniston is rocking a bikini top and we know we love bikini tops, and a girl could pretty much do anything in a bikini top and we’ll still look because we are fucking virgins who have never seen a girl in a bikini in real life….well except for maybe that one time in summer camp, but you were 12.

Anyway you dice it, I still wrote more than I would have in writing one of my stories, only now I feel more like a virgin than when I was 13 and this 20 year old retarded girl tried to get me to fuck her and I didn’t know what to do so I just shoved it in between her fat thighs until I dry came and ran away scared that she was going to eat me or something because she totally looked like a monster…..Jennifer Aniston reminds me of that girl with her big ol’ head…..and this post was a fucking failure…