If anyone watched the Oscars last night, and I assume a few people did, because they are trying to suck people back into their dying industry ruined by money grubbing lawyer execs with no taste.

I am sure some people wanted to see how fucking bad they would be, or how flat the jokes would be, how silly the musical performances would be as the Oscars try to figure out how to lure in a younger audience that don’t really care about masturbatory industry events where rich and famous people celebrate each other….

Some people like seeing past winners give each nominee a pep talk, some people don’t care to see who the best in their craft is, because movies are pretty fucking commercialized and for profit and any level of artistry is bullshit….

Not to mention they are all very well paid for very insignificant work that distracts the mindless hive from their shit lives, which arguably is just perpetuating laziness and depression, rather than encouraging folks to get outside to live their lives, work the land, see the world, socialize.

Also, being the best in something as silly as acting is ridiculous and subjective and retarded..

That said, I am glad Brad Cooper lost. It was nice to see the momma’s boy who put all this time into such a dumb movie no one needed lose. I am glad a celebrity Blogger of yesteryear gamed the system and won best screenplay for American Fiction, which calls out all the lame hollywood industry people for being the money grubbing, lazy pieces of shit who just jump on trends instead of quality product.

I am glad that fat black lady from Holdovers won, she was amazing in it. I am glad Emma Stone’s lisp and her decent mom body nudity won, I figure if she’s going to get naked and fuck 90 percent of a movie, she should be rewarded for it, even if the nipples look a little deflated, her ass looked pretty good and I’m not even an Emma Stone fan.

I am glad Barbie only won for nonsense like the music, even though Billie Eilish sucks and is a fucking scam, because Barbie was a fucking scam to target the retard minds of the masses. A cash grab that pretended to be culturally relevant or that spoke to the world we live in, when really it was just trash….box office doesn’t equal good and doesn’t validate the themes as real life issues, you shitty celebrities.

Besides Emily Blunt, none of the actresses were hot enough to jack off to. Christopher Nolan’s wife was definitely not hot enough to jack off to. John Cena’s nudity wasn’t hot enough to jack off to, but you never know with Wrestling fans….one of the Oscar escorts they didn’t introduce had some hot tits, someone should ID her….

Sean Lennon, who won for some weird animation award based on his mom and dad’s music had some tall freakish goth girlfriend kiss him, so clearly she was the standout freak at the Oscars who I needed to dig deeper into.

It’s not that I like Goth Girlfriends, it’s that you do….

Her name is Charlotte Kemp Muhl and she’s a bit fo a try hard with the satanic goth artist shit isn’t she….but at least she’s hot…

Posted in:Charlotte Kemp Muhl