DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

24

Nov

Penelope Cruz for Vogue Spain of the Day

I don’t find Penelope Cruz all that hot, but she’s looking better than usually, with her older face and big tits in seductive poses, all Spanish and amazing, like some Tapas, cheap wine, and other great Spanish things…like Ibiza and topless beaches….only more Hollywood and annoying….because Oscar Winners from the era of 30 million dollar pay days to be in movies – before the internet ruined that – makes small town Spanish girls cunty…..

Now, I don’t think Penelope is normally that hot, I never fell in love with her in any of her movies, and I used to fuck a girl who looked like her, I mean not really, but had a massive nose and would make me call her penelope as she “squirted” all over the place – denying it was pee…you know a Pee Denyer…the Holocaust Denyer of the bedroom…

This is for Vogue Spain, so I guess she’s bringing it home…literally…because they are probably very proud of all she’s done and as a thank you – might as well stare at her tits…

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|SFW

2016

24

Nov

A Thanksgiving Message from My Queen of the Day

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I used to live with these weird, religious, uptight, british people and every Christmas they would make us watch the Queen’s speech as some family tradition, before eating breakfast…it was their really boring tradition….

Well, when I saw this video of a Lohan making some insane statement with a snapchat filter, wishing you all a Happy Thanksigiving in her accent while talking about how busy she is…it reminded me of those days, only far more regal, relevan, important, inspiring even….you know words to fucking live by and watching her is something I’d want to make an ongoing tradition of, ideally in my bed, everyday because Lohan is not just my Queen that I worship, but my God…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2016

24

Nov

So Emma Stern Nielsen Topless Shoot of the Day

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Here’s a nude / Topless / Titty Flash shoot of model I like Emma Stern Nielsen….because Emma Stern Nielsen is the kind of girl I want to see succeed, and who will probably succeed, because she’s just fucking awesome, and has great tits, so get her in mainstream campaigns – make her a Guess? Girl or Victoria’s Secret Angel…it seems to work for all the other hookers……

While she works on that, we can assume she goes to all the parties, fucks rich guys, does a lot of nude shoots, and is willing to do even more extreme nudes, you know to make it…and I appreciate the hard work so much that I follow her – and would follow her home – you know just to make sure she got home safe – so that I could climb her fire escape and hopefully watch her shower / masturbate or fuck….because as far as I’m concerned – this is some cockteasing foreplay….

Posted in:Emma Stern Nielsen

2016

24

Nov

Pregnant Taylor Swift Manhandled By a Drag Queen of the Day

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Taylor Swift is rumored to be pregant, someone told me this probably 5 months ago, so I don’t know what point the baby starts to officially show, but she’s definitely looking thicker than usual, and I guess in efforts to distract from her FETUS in her WOMB from one of the many men she lets cum in her, she’s posing with a big black actor / drag queen from some Broadway play, because he makes her look thinner by comparison.

Now I don’t get off on cross dressers, I don’t go to drag shows, but I like Drag Queens, even if I’m pretty indifferent on the whole thing, but at least they aren’t Trannies, because Trannies, despite being appealing to “straight” homophobes are freaks of nature, while Drag queens are just a good old fashion time…

But I know at least one of you out there can’t help but jerk off to this, so this one’s for you.

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Swift

2016

24

Nov

Sara Jean Underwood’s Butt Selfie of the Day

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Sara Jean Underwood is someone we’ve known about or followed for a pretty long time, she’s in her 30s and was known for doing Playboy, back when Playboy got girls naked and paid them nicely to get naked, before instagram was created and everyone started getting naked, even girls who didn’t have that Playboy looking stripper vibe, which is actually why this one got so much love, she was small breasted, cute, just a normal looking 18 year old, and 18 despite being legal is fucking young….either way she existed…owned it..probably even has a Playboy tattoo on her asshole or cunt or something equally classy…

Then she dated Ryan Seacrest who probably ravaged her ass like she was a dude or Dick Clarke or Simon Cowell who created him….because that’s what closet case woman haters do….he was probably jacked up on coke the whole time – to allow himself to get it up for a chick – as coke dick is a myth…

From Ryan, she got some fake tits, terrible decision to fake tit haters like me, but he showed her the mind fuck that is hosting, and she replaced Olivia Munn on a show that even featured this very SITE, DrunkenStepfather.com – more than once – because I’m iconic, I just get no love for it – and no one believes me…so that opened up a whole new world for her to reach nerds who could jerk off to her…then the show got canceled, the network shut down…and she was left to fend for herself…

Fast forward a fews years, all well rested and living in Oregon, this creature figured out how to grow her social media to massive size…and do the images she was doing for Playboy and really they are good enough…they aren’t overly cheesy, and she’s creating a name for herself, off the backs of all these other whores she cross promoted with, but she’s back in full force….

This is a video of her from Instagram Live that I watched last night and thought “Brilliant”….this girl is brilliant..and her ass is great too.

Now I avoid promoting her because she’s shameless, but this is just too good to ignore…Thanksgiving Dreams baby.

Posted in:Sara Jean Underwood|SFW

2016

24

Nov

Stella Maxwell’s Topless and Censored for Instagram of the Day

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When you’ve seen a model nude or topless for pretty much her entire career. From Shaved Lesbian Haircut, social justice warrior looking hipster, all gender fluid and pansexual, who wants to bring down the patriarchy, while huffing blow at the latest and greatest NYC parties – amongst the rich and famous – who she ended up dating for attention or an angle – because these idiots are all full of shit – and their edginess is all candy-coated nonsense that is for social media image….because this bitch went on to be a Victoria’s Secret promo model…hardcore, edgy, keep posting those nudes yo..it almost makes her seem sincere and legit in her hustle…rather than seem like a fuckign Kardashian…kids these days….no substance. But the get naked.

Posted in:SFW|Stella Maxwell

2016

24

Nov

Katie Cassidy Bikini Pic for David Cassidy of the Day

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Katie Cassidy is David Cassidy’s daughter, who looks like she’s in her 30s, because growing up in the Partridge Family, just fucking rapes your fucking soul, especially when all your friends have parents who are actually respectable actors in Hollywood. It’s the shit playground bullying is made of “You’re dad was in the Partridge Family, loser, my dad is Jack Nicholson”….kinda bullying that only happens in Hollywood.

That said, that Partridge Family money, or legacy has allowed her to live the good life, where she gets to go to all kinds of great and luxurious places, often times on a private jet, where she can sit in the pool getting all “Lit AF”…because she’s in the right scene…so give thanks to rich brats – who become grown ups and post shameless bikini pics…especially if you’re a partridge family fetishist and I know you are…

If you’re into instagram slutting, here’s a failure, who I think is from Canada, and who landed a big show, or seemingly a big show a few years ago – allowing her to ride the wave and peak years ago – before crashing and resorting to instagram whoring to get noticed..Jessica Lowndes.

Posted in:Katie Cassidy|SFW

2016

24

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Nude Video of the Day

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Yesterday – I wrote something along the lines of Alessandra Ambrosio is a VS model who is old, tired, boring, but has new fake tits that she likes to show off in her latter years….still under contract, making me assume her ALES collection of bathing suits isn’t competitive to her masters who own her, but rather just a brand they own and give her royalties on – she’s given them enough of her life…

So when I say she’s selling bikinis, it’s not like pornstars selling their outfits from shoots, it’s actually just made in china shit that Donald Trump wants to end – if you’re lucky the only bodily fluid on it – is asian child labor blood…or tears…not Brazzilian model pussy juice….

This is the shoot in some fancy place….all beautifully shot – because this is what she does…and she looks good for an old, washed up hag…at least her ass does….

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|SFW

2016

24

Nov

Alexis Ren’s Ass on Snapchat of the Day

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Alexis Ren, the social media’s biggest scam, because she managed to take her hot body, a body that many other girls trying to make it on social media have, and her average face, and find millions upon millions of fan…

Her tactic, a weird one, but one that worked, where she gave her character, her ass, her half naked body a reason to be half naked – and that reason was romance. She partnered up with some homo, they pretended to be in love, the lived a Bieber-like music video life, and the world bought into it…why? Because people are miserable and want a story…

I can assume they never fucked, it was all staged, and that like fake news, people believed…

And now, she gets to show off her ass on snapchat during lingerie / or jewelry shoots, like a little whore, who’s not a whore, just look at her social media, she’s so in love. Garabge – but when garbage has a great ass, it’s work fucking or wanting to fuck..

Posted in:Alexis Ren|SFW

2016

24

Nov

Alena Blohm Hot Model in a Bikini of the Day

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Alena Blohm is a German model, she was only born in 1993, which reminds me that I am very excited to be able to fuck girls born in Y2K…the year 2000…only a year and a few months to go…that’ll be my New Years Resolution next year…because fucking an 18 year old born in the year 2000 is a dream….making this one too fucking old…

But forget that, you know like the Germans seem forget Nazism, because she may be far too young to have killed the Jews in 1940s, only to act like it never happened, with its whole genetic programs to create the aryan race that creates girls like this, but her grandparents aren’t….and based on her overall vibe…I like to think she was created in a lab somewhere – she’s fucking hot….

Too bad she’s a working model, which means she’s a scenester who dates rich guys like all other models, not because I want to date her, but because that’s such vapid behavior…it lacks substance and is overall very fucking lame…

But she looks good in a bikini.

Posted in:Alena Blohm|SFW